


Cold, Edged with Dear-bought Wisdom

by SumDumMuffin



Category: RWBY
Genre: Crack, F/F, Fluff and Crack, Master/Pet, Mommy Issues, Puns & Word Play, Romantic Black Comedy, social satire
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2018-06-03 15:17:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 104,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6615565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SumDumMuffin/pseuds/SumDumMuffin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which young Weiss Schnee <strike>kidnaps into slavery</strike> adopts into her family <strike>an orphan minority child</strike> a nice kitty she found on the street.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Pet Kitty, pt. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Rated M for violence, nudity, politics, and terrible humor. ~~Possibly~~ definitely some mildly sexual scenes, but no actual depictions of sex. 
> 
> RWBY and all associated characters are creations of Rooster Teeth and Monty Oum, may he rest in peace. 
> 
> I guarantee no expertise in nor accurate portrayal of wealthy lifestyles, owning a cat, owning a person, PTSD, romance, or class warfare.
> 
> Also, this is a crack fic. There is dark humor and politics, in some chapters. In case you didn't read the tags. I'm sure that for some readers, there will be chapters that offend your sensibilities, and that is valid. If you decide to stop reading at any point, I completely understand.

* * *

 

 

 

It was a riot even before the gunshots.

The crowd panicked. It was loud and bright and busy.

Blake returned later, with the others who had bodies to retrieve. She was the only family left to get her parents.

She knew what she was supposed to do. She borrowed a shovel from a sympathetic comrade.

Blake buried her parents. Then the tears came, cold and idle.

She found a nearby box and lay down to die. 

 

 

 

A man's voice woke her up, from somewhere in the distance.

"No, I don't know how this happened. When you outsource your mercenaries, you're bound to have some bad apples. But none of the security at this construction site were under the direct employ of the SDC, so we can't be held responsible..."

Then, much closer and louder, a girl's voice. 

"Oh what? Free kitties!"

There was light; Blake's box opened. 

There was a human girl, with pale skin and white hair, a fancy white dress and a medical eye-patch around her left eye. She looked down where Blake lay.

A Schnee, a part of Blake remembered. An enemy. Supposedly.

"Yay, there's one left!"

The girl lifted Blake out of the box, by her armpits. 

"Ahhhh," screamed the Schnee, "You're so fluffy! Fluffy kitty!" 

The Schnee rubbed Blake's hair and head and ears, with its hand and cheek. Blake seemed to recall having her ears rubbed as an enjoyable experience, but she didn't know if it still was, now.

The Schnee rubbed down to her face, rubbing her nose, rubbing eyelids cracked with salt. Blake tried to turn her head away but the girl did not relent.

The Schnee pulled Blake all the way out of the box, after a few bruising missteps and their accompanying apologies.

In the distance another Schnee-the man from before- was talking to some humans in suits. Blake noticed that someone had dug up her hasty graves. 

The girl snapped her fingers at her. She offered Blake a stick. 

Blake found the stick even less interesting than the girl. 

The Schnee ran off three times. The first, she returned with the Wand that Moves the Red Dot. Blake followed the dot with her eyes and head, but never mustered the motivation to chase it. 

When Blake rubbed her aching neck, the Schnee dismissed the damnable dot and ran to massage her neck, with a couple apologies and an assurance that she didn't mean to cause any strain.

The Schnee left for a while again. She returned with a ball of yarn.

The Schnee demonstrated how she thought Blake should play with the yarn; throwing and chasing it, swatting at it, biting it. Blake just stared some more.

The third time, the Schnee brought dried meat.  

"Are you hungry, kitty?" the Schnee asked.

Blake glanced down towards her stomach. The hunger pangs were there, but Blake didn't feel the motivation to eat. 

At least, until the Schnee pushed a clump of jerky into her hand. Blake stuffed it to her face with both hands, shaking her head and growling. 

The Schnee still had more. She smirked and waved it in her hand.

Blake followed the meat and grabbed at it. The Schnee pulled it away, up over her head.

Blake pounced on the human girl, sending them both to the ground. The Schnee squealed in delight and was unsucessful in keeping the jerky from Blake.  

Blake lay on the ground after she finished eating all the food. The Schnee scritched her stomach. Blake swatted her away the first two times.

At some point someone called the Schnee away.

"C'mon, kitty!" The Schnee lifted Blake to her feet.

Blake was just as tall as the girl, so when the Schnee grabbed her by the stomach and pulled, Blake's legs dragged on the ground. 

The Schnee grunted. "Were you the last kitty because you don't know how to walk?

Blake blinked once. 

The Schnee propped her up on her feet.

Blake decided to lean forward. The Schnee caught her before she fell.

"No kitty! That's not how you walk!"

The Schnee moved Blake's legs in perambulatory motions. 

Blake ignored the lesson.

"You'll get hurt if you fall down. You have to walk, see, like me!"

The Schnee demonstrated walking, all high knees, elbows and smiles.

Blake fell forward again. The ground hurt, vaguely.

"Kitty nooooo!"

It was a small comfort when the Schnee rubbed the dirt off her nose.

"Ugh, fine!" said the Schnee. She lifted Blake over her shoulders. "I'll carry you myself." 

 

 

 

The Schnee took Blake to the taller Schnee, who Blake had overheard earlier. Blake glanced up briefly, and then returned her gaze to the ground. It was a more natural position for her neck to be in, from where she was being carried. 

"Weiss, darling," said the taller Schnee, "What is that?"

"It's a kitty! Can I keep her, daddy? Please please please?" 

"Weiss, that is a Faunus. A sentient demi-human with animal aspects."

"Well if you already knew the answer why did you ask me?" 

"I don't know if that's really a good thing for a young girl to have..."

"I'll take full responsibility for her! I'll teach her how to walk and talk and read and to believe in all the Schnee ideals! Please, daddy? I'll never ask for anything again! Please can I keep her?" 

The conversation continued, like this, for a few minutes. 

"I guess," said the taller Schnee, eventually, "You'll have to ask your mother about it."

"Yay! Thanks daddy, I love you!"

"That's not a 'Yes', though, you understand?" 

"C'mon, kitty!"

Blake got pulled into a car. The ride was smooth and quiet. Blake played with one of the buttons on the door and let the human girl rub her head.

 

 

 

Blake was brought before another taller Schnee, this one female and very stern. Blake followed the pattern in the carpet with her eyes as the first Schnee held her in her lap as the three of them sat on separate couches.

"I've been thinking about it on the way over, and it would do wonders for our PR-"

" _If_ we keep the thing. Weiss is going to get bored of it in three days and we'll have to give it to the pound or turn it into glue and buttons."

"No I won't!" The Schnee said. Blake got jostled. "I promise I'll take super good care of her and train her and she'll be my friend forever and ever!"

"Weiss, sweetie, you don't know the first thing about taking care of a Faunus," the other taller Schnee said, "They don't even know how to take care of themselves; countless lawyers, nonprofits, and government officials have tried and failed for  _years."_

Blake blinked.

"Well, maybe I'll be the first!" said the Schnee. 

Blake blinked again. 

"And I can ask the maids for help! Please mommy? Dad already said yes-"

 "That's not what I meant-"

"And don't you want me to have friends, mommy? If you're going to be gone all the time you can at least let me have a kitty-"

"Weiss, are you trying to guilt me?"

"Uhhh, may~be."

Blake was cluched tighter. She looked up.

The other taller Schnee smiled. "I'm so proud of you, sweetie. Glad to see  _those_ lessons are going better than your swordfighting ones."

The Schnee touched her medical eyepatch. "Y-yes." She refreshed her smile. 

The other taller Schnee exhaled. "I suppose there's no harm in letting you keep that thing for at least tonight, provided it doesn't distract you from your studies and it's up to our standards of propriety."

The Schnee hugged Blake to her chest and bounced. "Thanks so much, mom! I love you!"

 

And Blake was pushed into a bathroom, with care given to how her feet moved. It was large and very fancy and well lit. There was gold on the facet handles and towel rungs. Blake avoided looking in the mirror.

The Schnee ran to one end of the room and turned a faucet and a tub filled up. 

The girl walked up to her and in one motion pulled Blake's dirty, patchwork dress off over her head. 

The Schnee undressed Blake the rest of the way and pushed her by the shoulders, towards the other end of the room.

And Blake realized just in time that the Schnee was trying to push her into the tub-

Blake grabbed the sides of the porcelain water pit with her hands and feet, splayed out barely above its churning surface. She turned her head back and hissed.

Unfortunately, the tips of her hair touched the water- it'd be gross and slimy now-

"No kitty!" The Schnee tried to push down on her back. Blake's limbs shook as she resisted. "You have to go in the water or my mom won't let me keep you!"

Blake twisted and jumped. 

There was a splash from behind her as Blake ran for the door-

It was locked.

Blake turned to hiss at her captor.

The Schnee was dripping wet and smiling madly. Blake scrambled backwards, against the wall, lest she get touched by the water, but it was futile.

 

 

As Blake sat in the tub, water up to her neck, she decided that she liked the warmth and maybe even the sensation of having her head and ears rubbed. Soap was still gross though.

And Blake realized that if she sunk into the bathwater a little more, she could blow bubbles. The Schnee seemed to like that.

 

 

 

After the bath, Blake shook herself dry. The Schnee shielded herself and squealed in terror, or perhaps delight.

"I think we're almost the same size, so you can borrow some of my jam-jams." 

Blake let her limbs be manipulated as the Schnee dressed Blake in the most comfortable clothes she'd ever worn. 

The Schnee pushed Blake by the shoulders into a bedroom and propped her on an armchair. Blake sunk into it.

The Schnee promised she'd be back and left for a while. Blake did nothing. 

The room was well adorned, but not personalized. A large closet. A lacquered desk. An array of schoolbooks: math and reading and physics and psychological manipulation. A sword propped up against the wall. 

A picture frame with four smiling Schnees. A certificate for being the 'best daughter ever'. A trophy from a singing competition.

At some point the Schnee returned, excited, clean and mostly dry and smiling widely.

"You're supposed to sleep on the floor but you can sleep on my bed if you want..."

Blake did nothing.

"Okay, sounds good!"

The Schnee hugged her from behind and squeezed. Blake let herself be pulled onto the softest bed she'd ever felt.

The Schnee didn't bother with a pillow. "Kitty kitty kitty," she mumbled blissfully into Blake's back. 

Blake blinked a few times. The bed was soft. The girl at her back was warm, and had locked her in her arms. She couldn't escape easily. It'd be too much of a bother, anyway.

Blake turned her head to the human and opened her mouth. " ** _Blake,_** " she said. Her voice was dry and gravely, and it took all her energy to say. 

"Blake? That's your name?"

Blake didn't move. 

"That's a nice name. Blake," the Schnee said, to herself. "Blake Blake Blake. Blake Blake Blakey Blake Blake. Blakey Blake Blake Blake."

Now her name just sounded weird. 

"I'm Weiss," said the Schnee. 

Blake tried to mouth it. She couldn't manage to actually speak the name.

Weiss didn't look dissapointed. She just nuzzled Blake's back some more. 

 "Blakey Blakey Blakey...." she mumbled.

Blake put her hand on one of Weiss's arms, wrapped around her waist.

She drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blake is supposed to be sitting down, in the cover art (the chair doesnt have a back). She's actually slightly taller than Weiss, In this fic, during this time frame, hence why her feet drag on the ground when Weiss carries her.


	2. A pet Kitty, pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just fluff this chapter.

Blake awoke first. She didn't move. She didn't have any desire to, and also the Schnee- Weiss- was still clutching her around the stomach. 

Weiss's breath and drool had formed a damp patch on the back of the pajamas. It almost annoyed her. 

Sometime later, there was shuffling from behind her. Weiss lifted her head.

"Wakey wakey, Blakey Blakey!"

Weiss shook Blake.

"Time to get some eggs and bake-y. (that means bacon! I had to change the end so it would rhyme)"

 Blake blinked. 

"(That means we're going to get breakfast.)"

Weiss extracted herself from the covers. "But first you need to learn how to walk!" Weiss walked into the center of the room and stretched.

Blake blinked. 

"It's easy; first, you lift your leg up." Weiss lifted her knee up. "Then you lean forward, and before you fall on your face, you stretch your leg out." Weiss leaned forward, etc. "Then you move forward and switch legs!"

Blake blinked again. 

"So; lift, lean, stretch," Weiss demonstrated. "Lift, then lean, then streeeetttcch."

This went on for a while.  

Blake eventually got bored. The promise of breakfast motivated her to try to leave the room.

As soon as she got up and walked to the door, Weiss hugged her. 

"Yay kitty! You learned how to walk!" Weiss nuzzled her back. "I'm such a good teacher." 

 

 

 

The dining room was fancy. There was one large, long table with an embroidered tablecloth. The plates and the handles of the silverware were embossed with gold. There were LED candles on the table, unused, also embossed with gold.

Weiss dragged Blake to the far end of the table and sat down. There was only one plate of food. One pitifully inadequate serving of two pieces of bacon and half a fried egg. 

Weiss frowned and offered Blake half the food. As Blake nibbled on it, she took her to see the cook. 

"Can I have some more food?" Weiss said to the cook. 

"I'm sorry, young mistress, but your parents gave us strict instructions as to your maximum daily calorie intake." 

Weiss pouted. "But it's not for me, it's for Blake!"  

Weiss shook Blake for effect. 

"Look at how hungry she is! She's starving!"

Blake puffed out her cheek a little. She pouted to mirror Weiss's pout.

The cook made indecisive facial expressions. 

Weiss put a hand around Blake's head and hugged Blake to herself. 

"If you don't feed her soon, she'll eat me 'cause she's so hungry, and then you'll be fired," Weiss said. 

Weiss pulled Blake's chin down with a thumb, turned and tilted Blake's head to face her, and put her neck in Blake's mouth. She did not taste as good as bacon. 

" ** _'_** _om nom nom nom i crave Schnee flesh'_ **-"** Weiss shook Blake's head, rubbing Blake's teeth against her skin. "'Ahhhhhhh help me! Heelllp meee!'" Weiss said.

"Okay, okay," said the cook, "I'll make some more bacon and eggs for Blake." Blake and the chef made eye contact. "How many do you want?" 

Weiss answered for her. "She wants fifty pieces of bacon and five eggs!" 

The chef only paused for a moment before turning to the stove. 

 

 

 

Blake stuffed bacon in her mouth. It was probably very well cooked, but Blake didn't really care about the subtle flavors, now. Food was food.

Weiss was a little more restrained, but she too was gobbling up strips of pork meat.

"I thought fifty pieces would be enough to last both of us for the rest of the day," Weiss said through a full mouth, "But you're a really hungry kitty, aren't you?" 

Weiss rubbed Blake's head with the back of her hand. Blake didn't pause eating. 

"I guess it's just as well. Hiding bacon in your clothes will just make it greasy." 

 

 

"Now quick, we have time before my lessons to try to get your paperwork in. Let's ask my parent's accountant!" Weiss pushed Blake by her shoulders.

The accountant dwelled in a room in the basement, with one thin, tall window allowing in palid rays of mournful sunlight.

"I can look it up," said the accountant, nervously, "But I really only specialize in tax loopholes."

There was typing. "Are you sure your parents will let you keep a sentient person as a pet?"

"Well if we fill out all the paperwork, then they have to."

"Ah- I actually meant if they'll, you know. Not pull the 'parent' card and just take her away."

Weiss smushed Blake against her harder. "I just need to show them that we're such good playmates! They even said as much. Basically."

On the accountant's computer, Blake caught glimpses of various registration forms; legal, medical. Some pet supply sites. A retailer for collars. A dietary guide.

The accountant handed Weiss a portable computer chip thing. Weiss smiled and pocketed it.

 

 

 

 

 

After that, Weiss carried Blake- by the stomach, so that Blake's feet dragged on the floor- to the tutor.

"Blake wants to skip today's lesson and play outside," Weiss said to the tutor.

"Blake is certainly free to do so." 

"But-" Weiss pouted, "I need to look after her if she does. We're scent bonded now so we can't be separated."

Blake sniffed. Weiss's last statement was not accurate.

"Oh? Is that so?" The tutor looked to Blake.

Blake looked at the tutor, smiling at her apprehensively, and at Weiss, nodding at her expectantly. 

Blake shrugged. 

The tutor laughed. 

"Blakey whyyyyyyyyy?" Weiss whined. 

"I guess you'll have to have your lesson today," said the tutor. 

"Fine, then Blake wants to learn too!"

The tutor smiled. "I certainly won't object to learning." 

"But we have to pause our lessons for a while so we can teach Blake to read!" 

"Oh?" the tutor said, "I was not informed of this. I left my alphabet books at home."

"Then we should wait for you to go and get them!" 

"Or," the tutor smiled, "I'll leave Blake here with a picture book for today and we can begin your scheduled lesson." 

Weiss slumped over the desk and whined, but only at first. She kept shooting Blake glances throughout the lesson.

Blake was handed a textbook;  _A Brief History of Colonialism._ Blake stuck her tongue out at it. Its pictures weren't that good.

 

 

 

 

"I don't have swordfighting practice today," Weiss touched her medical eyepatch, "So we can play until dinner."

Blake was pushed into Weiss's room again. Weiss placed her in the armchair.

"But first you have to wait right here Blakey," Weiss said. She went into the adjacent bathroom. 

Blake followed her, silently. 

Weiss was in front of the mirror. Her eyepatch was on the sink shelf. 

Weiss poured some yellow, maloderant lotion onto her left hand and dabbed at the left side of her face. She did not look happy. 

 Weiss turned a little and then flinched wildly.

"Ahh! Blake, don't look-"  Weiss squeaked.

Blake walked forward towards the Schnee, until Weiss fell out of her stool, onto her back, onto the ground. 

"Ow~"

Blake kneeled over her. Weiss stopped and inhaled sharply and tilted her face to the left. She covered her face with her hands.

Blake grabbed Weiss's wrists and pried Weiss hands away. 

After a few moments of struggle, Weiss exhaled and closed her eyes and tilted the left side of her face towards Blake.

There was a still-healing cut, red and pugnant and oozing slightly, vertically along her left eye.

Blake tentatively poked at the fresh scar-

Weiss broke out of Blakes grip and pushed Blake away by her face.

 Weiss got up and moved Blake to a corner and turned her to face the walls. 

There was a few minutes of medical sounds and then Weiss picked up Blake from behind, nuzzling her. She had her medical eyepatch on and was smiling again.

 

 

 

After that, Weiss tried to brush the knots out of Blake's hair and tell Blake about her life. Neither succeeded very well.

Blake wondered if maybe rubbing one's nose in another person's hair was a standard of grooming for the wealthy, as Weiss spent a lot of time doing that.

 

 

 

Then there was dinner. Blake had regained her appetite and was much less obstructive when Weiss dragged her to the dining table.

They sat down at the far end again. Twenty chairs away, on the opposite side of the table, was a grand plate of magnificent steak and potatoes and peas.

Weiss, in contrast, had very small portions. 

"Did you make some for Blake?" Weiss asked the cook.

The cook placed a plate, larger than Weiss's, in front of Blake. Blake shoveled food into her mouth and hissed half heartedly when Weiss stole some potatoes.

"Hey hey, Blake," Weiss said. She proffered a spoonful of peas to Blake.

Blake wiped her mouth and clamped her mouth shut. Weiss poked her cheek with the spoon. 

"Blake, eat my vegetables for me," Weiss said.

Blake swiped a piece of steak off Weiss's plate.

  _"Blake!"_

They skirmished for a little bit.

Then the other taller Schnee appeared. Weiss immediately stood up straight and pushed Blake off her. 

"H-hey mom-" Weiss said. 

"Sorry sweetie," the other taller Schnee said. She grabbed her plate off the other end of the table. "Mommy needs to take care of some business. We can eat together tomorrow, when your father gets back." 

"O-okay." 

"And don't think I didn't notice you trying to get out of eating your vegetables. Small comfort that your little pet cares more about your diet than you do."

 Blake looked up towards the other taller Schnee. They made eye contact. "Actually, perhaps you can make yourself useful and ensure my daughter eats her peas," she said to Blake. 

Blake didn't react. 

After the other taller Schnee left, Weiss looked sad and poked at her food.

Blake scootched towards her. She grabbed a grubby handful of the circular vegetables. A few slipped through the cracks formed by her fingers.

" ** _eat."_** Blake said, pushing the handful at Weiss's mouth, **_"peas."_**

"Blake noooo!" Weiss yelled in terror, or perhaps delight. She scrambled back to the edge of her chair. A few peas got into her mouth. 

The ensuing fiasco was very messy.

Weiss ended up on the ground, pinned under Blake. Both of them had mushed peas in their hair and clothes. Somehow they managed to finish their dinner.

 

 

The next thing Blake knew, Weiss led her back to her bedroom and then into the adjoining bathroom. 

Weiss locked the door immediately and ran to fill the tub. Blake realized what was going to happen and fruitlessly scrabbled at the door. 

The hideous roar of the tub faucet echoed off the porcelain walls.

Weiss grabbed Blake by the stomach and pried off her desperate clutches.

Blake's clothes came off again, and Weiss picked her up by the torso.

Blake struggled the whole time, flailing and hissing, grabbing at the towels and ledges and rungs, anything to avoid the undulating mass of hideous water.

"No kitty," Weiss said, "You have to go in the water or there'll be gross pea mush in the bed, and even a single pea in my bed will keep me awake _all night._ "

Blake blinked. 

"And if there's peas in our bed, then there'll be ants. That's how you get ants, Blake! And then frogs will come to eat the ants, and then vultures will come to eat the frogs!"

 Blake blinked again. 

"And then our bed will be a hive of vultures and criminals, and it won't be fun, Blake! It won't be fun at all."

Blake blinked a lot.

"That was a joke," Weiss said.

Blake didn't laugh.

"I guess humor will be another lesson I'll have to teach you." 

And that whole bit distracted Blake enough to give Weiss an opening to bodily dip her into the charnal tub-depths. 

 

 

Blake begrudgingly tolerated her second bath this year and the subsequent dressing and hair drying and after that being pulled onto the bed, where Weiss hugged her face to Blake's back.

"I liked today," Weiss said, sleepily. "I hope everyday is like this from now on, Blakey."

Blake patted Weiss's arm and drifted off to sleep.

 

 

 

 


	3. A Pet Kitty, pt. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This series is mostly going to be fluff I think, so have some fluff with possibly awkward undertones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :\

Blake woke up first again. She didn't move until Weiss shuffled awake behind her.  

Blake eyed all the objects in the room again. Not much had changed, except at some point one of the maids had brought in a large basket for her to sleep on.

Blake wondered if she'd ever get used to the room or the bed or sleeping with someone hugging her. Probably not the baths, but maybe the food. 

"Hey Blake," Weiss mumbled behind her, when she awoke, "Last night I dreamed that you were actually four or five or seven smaller Blakes in one Blake costume." 

Blake blinked. 

Weiss crawled over to Blake's front. She poked Blake in her joints. 

Blake blinked.

"Nope! I guess there's just one Blake here." Weiss giggled. 

Blake blinked again.  

"Now cmon! Thursdays we get pancakes!"

 

 

They went through the breakfast rigamarole again. Weiss and Blake were alone at the giant table and Weiss carried the conversation until pancake mountain arrived. Blake pushed the plate between them so Weiss could help herself.

 

 

 

After breakfast, Blake was brought before a veterinarian in a cluttered doctor's office that smelled like salt and rain. Weiss sat next to her, kicking her legs off the examination table. She held Blake's hand for as much of the check-up as she could.

Blake's height and weight were recorded. They guessed her age to be the same as Weiss's. Her reflexes checked out ok. They scanned her Aura. They checked her vision; Blake pointed at a lot of letters. 

And there was a very through examination of Blake's teeth. 

"Our resident vetrinarian specializes in sharks, and teeth are the most important part of the shark," Weiss said. 

"Actually, uh," said the vet, "I specialize in birds, but the 'Schnee Dust Company's Shark Wrangler' position paid too well, so..." 

There was more tapping against her teeth. Everytime Blake flinched, Weiss squeezed her hand. 

Eventually, the horrible ordeal was over. 

"So I'm going to be honest; your teeth aren't great," the vet explained, "But luckily, most of them appear to be baby teeth, so you haven't ruined your life yet, ahaha." 

Blake said nothing. 

"I also don't know if you're supposed to have fangs or not. If you are, then something's seriously wrong because your teeth look human-normal." 

Blake continued to say nothing.

The vet coughed. "Well, just make sure you brush morning and night and floss once a day. And wait at least fifteen minutes after eating anything to do so, so your mouth's acidity levels can level out." 

The vet addressed all that to Blake, but Weiss answered. "Yeah, I'll definitely do that!"

 

 

 

It turned out, Weiss meant that, like, immediately. 

Blake was brought into the bathroom again. She tensed and eyed the tub warily. 

Weiss brought in a chair and put it in front of the mirror. She placed Blake in the chair and fixed her hair and the collar of her pajamas.

Blake regarded her self in the mirror for the first time since she got here. Her hair looked marginally less tangled, but her eyes were sunken and her mouth defaulted into something resembling a frown. Blake tried smiling, only once.

Weiss unwrapped a new toothbrush and squeezed a drop of toothpaste on it. 

Weiss opened Blake's mouth and started cleaning Blake's teeth through adhesive-assisted surface abrasion. 

Blake managed to stay still until one of the bristles stabbed into her gums. Weiss was significantly less dexterous than the vet. 

Blake emitted a muffled, frothy hiss and turned her head away. She spat out the toothbrush and clamped her mouth shut.

"No kitty!" Weiss tried to wrestle Blake's mouth back open, "You heard the vet! If I don't brush your teeth you'll get cavities, and all your teeth will fall out and the tooth fairy won't even give you full price for them and afterwards you'll only be allowed to eat soup! And that gets boring, Blake! Soup all day every day will get reeeeeaaally boring."

Blake paused struggling. 

Weiss sighed. "Ok, fine, did you want to brush your own teeth then?"

Weiss put the toothbrush in Blake's hand. A piece of froth dripped onto her wrist.

Blake stared at the brush. She opened her mouth to the mirror to see inside and she regarded the toothbrush.

She stared for a while. 

Blake sighed internally and held the brush out to Weiss. " _ **just,**_ " Blake said. She cleared her throat. " _ **be gentle."**_

Weiss failed to supress a giggle. She leaned over and slipped the toothbrush into Blake's mouth and the brush on the far side of Blake's molars.

And then Weiss slipped and jabbed the inside of Blake's cheek with the brush. 

Blake flinched back again.

"Sorry! I'm sorry- I- wait here-"

Weiss dissapeared for a little while. Blake rubbed her mouth and sunk into the chair. She returned with a two pack of finger toothbrushes. She started unwrapping it. 

"Oh no! We forgot to ask the vet to check you for allergies." 

Weiss lifted Blake's arm and rubbed the toothbrush on Blake's arm. She set her scroll on a timer for thirty minutes and ran up to the medicine cabinet and pulled out an epinephrine injector. 

"Blake, if you feel weird at all, let me know." 

Blake did, but not because of any immune system response. 

And as soon as the timer rang, Weiss looked up with a gentle smile and patted Blake's head. She slipped on the finger toothbrush and dabbed a bit of toothpaste on it. 

Then she crawled up the chair to straddle Blake. 

"This way I won't slip, Blakey, and this toothbrush is softer."

Weiss held her breath as she tilted Blake's head back and pulled her chin down with a thumb and rubbed Blake's teeth with the latex finger toothbrush.

It wasn't objectively pleasant, but it was a lot better than with the actual toothbrush, maybe because Weiss was brushing slower or because she had more control over her fingers directly.

At first Blake made eye contact but later opted to stare at the ceiling.

After Weiss finished with the top row of Blake's teeth, Weiss climbed off Blake and prompted Blake to rinse her mouth. The she climbed back up for the lower set of teeth.

After the last tooth was brushed, Weiss leaned back and procured a roll of floss and wrapped a piece around her pointer fingers.

"Sorry if this hurts, Blakey," Weiss soothed.

Weiss flossed all of the spaces between Blake's teeth. Each one throbbed for a little bit.  

After Weiss finished, Blake was prompted to rinse her mouth one last time.

And then it was over. Blake's mouth felt wierd. Clean, maybe. She rubbed her jaw. 

"Kk, Blakey," Weiss carried Blake to her bedroom, "Wait right here for a moment while I fix my face. And don't eat anything for half an hour."

 

 

 

Later, Weiss pushed Blake by the shoulders into the library where she recieved tutoring. She deposited Blake in a nearby table.

 Weiss dove into her own studies. The tutor brought a set of alphabet flash cards. Blake pawed at them idly for a while.

"Blake, Blake!" Weiss sat down across from Blake. "I finished early so I can help teach you to read!"

The tutor also appeared nearby, but didn't say anything.

"See this one?" Weiss grabbed a card. "It's the letter 'A'." 

Weiss grabbed another card. 

"This one? It's also the letter 'A'." 

 Weiss flipped through the pile of cards and pulled all the 'A' flashcards out and showed them to Blake. It took up rest of the tutoring session.

 

 

Dinner was some kind of chicken with vegetables and gravy. Blake had been looking forward to it.

At one point, one of the maids approached and bowed. 

"I'm sorry, but it appears your father had some trouble at the offices yesterday and the Lady has absconded to assist with such matters."

"She relays an apology and a promise to eat dinner together tomorrow."

Weiss paused eating her food, instead opting to look at it for a while. 

"So..." Weiss said, "Does that mean we can take dinner in my room today?"

 The maid cogitated at the wall. "I don't see why not."

Weiss had to forcibly drag Blake away from the table and the food.

"Yay! Room food!"

 

Blake stopped struggling when she saw the food was accompanying them to the bedroom.

Weiss turned to the Faunus girl in her arms. "Remember what I said about ants, Blake! Don't spill anything."

Weiss wheeled a rolling table out besides the bed. The maid placed the trays on the table and bowed and left.

Weiss placed Blake on the bed they ate for a while. 

 At some point, Weiss got excited. "I know what will help you learn to read! I'll read you a story so you can be inspired!"

Weiss pulled an economics textbook and placed it open on her lap. Upside down. She ate while she told the story, but never spilled any food on the book.

"Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess," Weiss said, "With magical powers. Everyone loved and feared her, and gave her wonderful gifts of food and clothes."

"And though she was smart and powerful, she was lonely, because," Weiss said, "because of reasons."

Weiss flipped the page.

"But one day a dashing prince appeared in the kingdom. He decided to woo the princess with romantic gestures, but the princess always refused."

 "And this happened over and over, until the princess decided to give the prince a date."

"And then, after they opened up to each other, it turned out they had a lot in common, and soon they were married."

"And the kingdom, now strenghened with a wise and emotionally fulfilled princess, consolidated it's power and lay waste to the surface dwellers. The end!"

Weiss closed the book.

Blake chewed another piece off her chicken.

"Did you not like the story, Blake?" Weiss pouted.

Blake chewed some more.

Weiss smiled. "That's okay, I'll find another one. Ooh, ooh, I'll bet you'd like a story about a kitty, right?"

Blake paused gnawing on her cooked bird corpse.

Weiss then procured a math textbook. "This story's called 'Puss in Boots'."

Weiss then told a story about a cat who collected shoes to build a house out of. Blake thought the first story was better written. 

This went on until Blake realized some of her hair got in her gravy. 

"Kitty nooooo!" Weiss said. She closed the book and ran to grab Blake. "You know what this means, Blakey?"

And Blake sighed and braced for bath time.

 

Baths were still horrible, harrowing tribulations, and Blake still struggled to avoid this one. And afterwards, during oral hygiene time, she decided she hated the bathroom most of all the rooms. 

Afterwards, Weiss ran up to Blake with some clothes.

"I had one of the maids buy you your own jammers, Blakey."

Weiss held up a shirt and pants set. They had small cats and jugs of milk printed on thier pattern.

 "They're kitties, just like you! Do you like them?"

Blake blinked. 

Weiss smiled. "Yay!" she dressed Blake. 

And then it was bedtime again. Blake held her arms out so Weiss could carry her more easily.

"I can't wait until all the papers go through, Blakey." Weiss snuggled Blake's back again. "It's been so much fun now that you're here."

Blake patted Weiss's hand and drifted off to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. A Pet Kitty, pt. 4

"Blakey Blakey, give me a hand," Weiss sung as she bumped her palms against Blake. "Bake Blake a cake as fast as we can." 

They were both on the bed, and Weiss was trying to play some sort of clapping hand game with Blake. Blake didn't actually try to move at all, so Weiss had to pat for Blake too. Weiss alternated manipulating Blake's hands by the forearm to pat hands together. 

"And that's the motions for playing Patty Blake! Do you like it? I named it after you, you know!"

Blake scratched her ear. 

Weiss hugged Blake's head and started scratching her behind the ear as well. 

There was a knock at the door. "Weiss, are you getting prepared?" said one of the maids. 

Weiss hugged Blake and pulled both of them backwards onto the bed. 

"No, I can't go today! Blake is on top of me and she's too heavy to move." 

Blake blinked. The door opened.

"Weiss, I have seen you carry Blake all over the mansion." 

"But she ate a big dinner yesterday! I can't lift her anymore! I just can't." 

"Weiss," said the maid, "I will remind you that I have been given orders to literally drag you to the car if need be." 

"Ugh, fine!" 

Weiss rubbed Blake's head as she got out of bed. Weiss got dressed into a skirt, a button-down dress shirt with a green bow around the collar, and a dress jacket the same color as the skirt. Blake stayed on the bed. 

Weiss skipped up to Blake and took each of her hands in one of her own.

"I-" Weiss began. Her voice cracked, "I need to go away for a while, Blakey. I'm so sorry." 

Blake blinked.

"It's only for a bit! I promise." Weiss hugged her. "I promise I'll be right back, okay, Blakey?" 

Weiss squeezed her tightly. "Don't- don't cry Blake, it'll only be for a while- just a little while, okay Blakey? I'll be right back, I promise." 

Weiss's voice cracked again. A tear fell on Blake's neck. "I'll miss you, Blake. I'll miss you so much. But I'll be back real soon, okay?"

And then the other taller Schnee appeared. "What in the name of Dust is taking so long, Weiss?"

"I need to say goodbye to Blake!"

"And why is that taking fifteen minutes?"

"Blake's super upset that I have to leave so I need to reassure her," Weiss said. 

Blake puffed out her cheek. The other taller Schnee looked her over, briefly. 

"Really." 

"Blake wants me to stay! Can't I just stay here today? Please?" 

"Weiss, sweetie, we already negotiated your attendance down to one day a week. We literally cannot make school any more painless for you." 

"But- Blakey says-" 

 " _Weiss. Sweetie_. Put your little pet down and meet your father at the limo." 

"Wait- wait- I know!" Weiss wiped her eye and eyepatch on her sleeve, "Blake can come too! She can fit into my spare uniform, and she can sit with me in all my classes-"

"First of all," the other taller Schnee held out a finger, "We had to navigate a ridiculous amount of paperwork before  _you_ were even allowed to attend. We are no strangers to expediting paperwork but I doubt we can do it in the next," she checked her watch, "Five minutes. (It looks like you will be late today.)"

"Second of all, I am absolutely sure the Academy won't admit a - what's the PC word now a days? Neurodeficient? A mute, neurodeficient mongrel into their esteemed institution." 

Blake blinked.  

"So let's  _go,_ Weiss, sweetie." She grabbed Weiss by the hand and pulled. 

"T-they'll make fun of my scar! Can't I wait until it heals?"

"If anyone makes fun of you, you ignore them and grow stronger, or you etch them into your memory and financially ruin their entire family later. Honestly, I didn't know I'd raised such a thin-skinned petulant child." The other taller Schnee sighed. "And scars don't heal, Weiss, so if you wait until it heals you will never go to school." 

"But-" Weiss said. She freed her hand and ran over to Blake and held the Faunus out between her and her mother. "But Blake will be all alone! She'll be all alone and cold and sad-" Weiss hugged Blake to her chest. "Can't I just skip this once? For Blake?" 

The other taller Schnee rubbed her brow. "I will <sigh> take care of your pet while you're gone. Don't even worry about it."

"But-"

"Weiss, sweetie, this little charade has gone on long enough. Get to the limo." 

"I- 

" _NOW,_ Weiss!" 

"Goodbye Blake," Weiss whispered. "It's only for a little while." 

Weiss held Blake's hands and looked apologetically at her. For a while. 

The other taller Schnee managed to get her daughter's attention. "I  _promise_ I will take care of - (what was it ) Blake, sweetie." 

Weiss flashed a grim, sorrowful smile that didn't reach her teary eyes, and she left.

 

 

 

And then Blake was alone with an adult Schnee.

"I don't know," said the woman, "Do you want to change out of those horrid pajamas? I don't know what Weiss was thinking when she had them bought- they're not even silk." 

Blake rubbed her pajamas. That was correct. She didn't care. 

"I can have an old dress tailored for you." 

Blake said nothing. 

"Ok, then. Well, come along then." 

Blake was escorted to the backdoor. "I will be right inside, filing paperwor- I don't know why I'm explaining this to you. Just- animals love the outdoors, right? Go play in our garden. You'll love it." 

Blake was pushed outside. The door closed behind her.

The garden was well-kept and very green. There were birds chirping. The sun was shining, how dare it. The flowers were a varied tapestry of scents. Also colors. Exquisitely carved cobblestone pathways led around large hedges and white-metal archways and gazeebos. There was a stream that babbled softly, cutting under a wooden bridge. 

Blake walked around a bit, barefoot, in her pajamas. 

The stream emptied into a pond, aways away. Blake espied a frog. 

Blake caught the frog. She snapped its spine in one motion. 

She placed the frog carcass in front of the door and knocked. 

The other taller Schnee opened it. She grimaced. 

"Oh, what is this?" she kicked the dead frog into a bush. "No, you filthy thing. Desist that immediately." 

The door closed. 

Blake walked back through the garden. Blake noted all the birds. Many looked tasty. Some looked exotic- pets, perhaps. Pets like her. 

Blake nodded solemnly at a bright and feathery small bird. It looked around, wide-eyed and twitchy. 

But there was at least one pigeon- clearly an interloper. A pest. 

It took a while longer to catch, and Blake scraped her knee during one jump, but she caught the flying rat in her teeth. She spit it out in front of the door and knocked, again. 

It didn't go over any better than the frog. 

Blake wandered the garden again, going further this time. In one part, there were the tiny lawn machines that spat jets of water. She hissed at them, but they took no notice of her. She avoided that area until they hibernated underground.

And then a bag was thrown over a ledge, nearby. It clinked and jewels fell out. 

A shifty-looking human jump down. Blake made eye contact, briefly. 

The thief was easier prey than the pigeon, funny enough. 

Blake knocked on the door a third time.

The other taller Schnee opened it (she looked annoyed). Then she looked down at the corpse of the thief. She grabbed the bag of jewels and pulled out a handful of tiny shinys. They glinted as they fell through the woman's fingers. 

She pulled out a hand-held communication device. "Can someone in security sweep the west wing? Looks like we had another break-in. Luckily they only found the decoys."

The other taller Schnee looked over Blake. "Um," she held out a hand, "Good job, I suppose." She patted Blake's head awkwardly. 

And feline law was upheld; Blake had provided an acceptable kill to the one who provided lodging. 

 

 

 

 

Blake was brought along into a deeper corridor in the house. Electric lights designed to look like candles adorned the walls. The roof was lower, here, and the wood smelled older.  The other taller Schnee bid Blake to wait on a chair, outside a room. On a brief glance in, Blake saw the head of security, the cook, and one of the maids. The four humans discussed something. 

At some point Blake heard her name, and started paying attention. 

"-using Blake to get larger portions during meal times-"

"Oh finally! I was afraid she'd starve before she figured out some sort of loophole. Only downside is it set a bad precedent- she's been using that thing as an excuse for almost everything." 

"And skimming from alms to the needy? I don't think we could have taught her that better if we'd tried. Anyway, back to the break ins-" 

Blake kicked her legs a bit before she lost the motivation to. However, she was awarded a dried fishy for her efforts. She gnawed it ravenously. 

 

 

 

 And then Weiss returned. 

"Blakey!" cried Weiss. She dropped a bag of books. 

Weiss tackle-hugged Blake. They fell to the floor. Weiss nuzzled Blake's neck. 

"Blakey, I missed you so much!" Weiss mumbled into Blake's ear. 

 

 

 

 

 

Dinner was more fishies, some garlic bread, and a pile of peas. Blake would later share the bread and peas with Weiss, but as soon as Weiss helped Blake into her chair, the other taller Schnee spoke. Oh, Weiss's parents were there too; that was different.

"Oh Weiss, sweetie," said the other taller Schnee, "You're not going to bring that thing to the table, are you?" 

Weiss pouted. "Why not? Blake's hungry too!" 

"Then we can set a bowl out for it or something." 

"You didn't complain two days ago," Weiss said. And then, much more quietly, "Or yesterday, 'cause you weren't here."

"Weiss, sweetie, I don't even think that thing is table-trained."

Blake picked up her fishy with both hands and stuffed it into her mouth as she growled. 

"Well I'll teach her. And besides, it's too late," Weiss hugged Blake by the torso. Blake tried her best to ignore her and focus on the food, "Blake already has a spot here. It's imprinted in her memory." 

"Fine, then." 

There was silence at the table. Blake gnawed on her aquatic animal carcass.  

Weiss picked the fishy from Blake's hand. Blake reached after it and growled but Weiss put a finger to her lips.

"Here's a fork and knife, Blakey," Weiss whispered, "See, watch how I use it." Weiss daintily cut her food and forked tiny squares into her mouth.

Blake picked up the fork and knife and only used them when Weiss was looking. 

Silence loomed at the table. 

"So what did you guys do yesterday?" Weiss asked at some point, to her parents.

"Oh," said the taller Schnee, the male one, "It's actually a funny story-"

"Honey, Weiss doesn't want to hear about company things." 

"Yes I do!"

"You say that, but as soon as we get into the actual details you fall asleep." 

Weiss looked down and mumbled. "That only happened once."  

"Why don't you tell us what happened at school today, Weiss sweetie?"

Weiss gave short-form summaries of her day at school. Simple, quiet sentences devoid of emotion. Something about dance class and arithmetic and history and runes. 

By the time she was finished, Weiss had eaten everything except her peas.

"I'm going to go to my room now-" 

"Weiss, sweetie," the other taller Schnee said, "It's rude to leave dinner early." 

"But Blake wants to go play!" 

Blake gnawed the skeletal remains of her fishy. 

"Blake has said nothing, Weiss. Sweetie. Why don't we have the cook bring her another lemon salmon and you can eat your peas." 

"But- we want to go play~"

" **REQUEST DENIED.** " The woman didn't even look up. "Now eat your peas."  

Weiss slumped down and her nose twitched. "Y-yes, mother." 

Weiss stared at her vegetables.

"Peas have a very interesting history, actually," the taller Schnee began, to break the silence. He sounded nervous. He droned on a bit abut peas.

Blake scooped up a handful of the circular vegetables. A few fell out between the cracks in her fingers. 

Blake offered the handful to Weiss. 

Weiss looked at the peas, and then at Blake. Blake picked one pea and ate it. It was gross. 

Weiss giggled silently and opened her mouth and leaned forward, so that Blake could deposit the peas in. Many of them missed. 

Eventually, though, Weiss cleared her plate of peas. 

 

 

As soon as the door shut behind them, Weiss grabbed Blake from behind and buried her face in her back. 

Weiss nuzzled Blake with her face. She led them to the bed where she rolled Blake onto the covers, nuzzling and cuddling her torso and hair and ears and face. 

Blake flipped around at some point, as Weiss nuzzled her stomach. 

Weiss was crying. 

Blake froze for a bit.

Weiss's grip relaxed. Her hands fell down Blake's back to rest on the bed.

Weiss didn't move for a while. 

Then she heaved in a silent sob. 

Blake tentatively grabbed Weiss's forearm and manipulated Weiss's hands by the forearm to pat their hands together.

" _ **blakey blakey,**_ " Blake managed to say. She cleared her throat, " _ **give. hand.**_ " 

Weiss chuckled, ending her face in a smile. She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and finished the rhyme for them both. 

Then there was a knock behind them. 

"Weiss, sweetie-," said the other taller Schnee, through the door.  

"Go away mom!" Weiss's voice cracked, "Blake and I are playing." 

The door opened, "Weiss, I'm sorry about dinner, but you have to eat healthy when you're young." 

Weiss turned away and closed her eye. 

"Weiss, sweetie, don't be like that." 

Weiss patted Blake's hands some more in the rhythm. She was surprisingly accurate, for having her eyes closed.

"Here, tell you what- I know you've been trying to get your pet's - Blake's - paperwork all done, and we're really proud of you taking the initiative on that- but why don't you give me the forms, and I'll have them expedited through the courthouse? We can have - uh, Blake be a part of the family by tomorrow. 

Weiss's sad demeanor instantly dropped. She turned to the woman and smiled widely. "Really? 

"Of course, sweetie."

The Schnees hugged. 

"Thank you thank you thank you!" Weiss pulled back from the hug and looked her mother in the eyes. "See, I knew you and Blake would get to like each other!" 

The other taller Schnee shot a flat expression to Blake. Blake grimaced her teeth. 

"Sure." 

Blake nodded. 

Weiss and her mother talked some more, and then the other taller Schnee backed out the door, smiling at her daughter all the way.

Blake and Weiss played three more rounds of Patty Blake. And then-

"Oh no kitty!" Weiss exclaimed, "Did you scrape your knee?" 

Blake shrugged. 

Weiss took Blake to the bathroom. Blake tensed. 

Weiss rolled up Blake's pant leg and applied ointment to her knee, gently and methodically. 

It stung, a bit. Blake almost winced.

Weiss put a waterproof bandage over the wound and patted it twice, lightly. Weiss smooched the bandage. 

"There, Blakey, all better." 

Weiss stood up and looked Blake in the eye and smiled. 

"So now that we're here..." Weiss smirked mischievously. 

Blake's eyes widened. She saw that the door was locked-

Blake scrambled backwards as Weiss started filling the tub with horrible, churning water, echoing dark screams of hideous wetness. 

 

 

Bathtime happened. Then oral hygiene time. Then Blake was changed into a new pair of kitty-patterned pajamas. 

Weiss snuggled up behind Blake in the bed. 

"I hope mom's right," Weiss said. "You're going to love being a Schnee, Blakey. Blake Schnee. Blakey Blakey Schnee, hee hee hee." Weiss mumbled as she drifted off to sleep. 

Blake mouthed those names together. She didn't actually manage to speak them, but they didn't sound quite right. 

 


	5. A Pet Kitty, pt 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now to lose all my subscribers. In my defense though, 'Black Comedy' was in the tags, and the first notes on the fic warned about politics. Added a 'crack' tag though, to warn future readers. Apologies in advance, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was like, "updates are so easy when I only describe the minimal amount of scenery and one half of the cast's job is to, just, 'not react'. What's the best way to counteract the benifits of that?". The answer was this. 
> 
>  
> 
> Also when the time comes, think almost but not quite 'supercalifragilisticexpialidocious'. Alternatively, 'The Yellow Rose of Texas'.

 

Blake awoke first, again. She didn't really have any desire to do anything but lay there. And Weiss had wrapped her arms around Blake's stomach and had drooled into her back the past night. 

Weiss woke up.

"Bla~key!" Weiss mumbled.

She pressed her face against Blake's back and rubbed her nose on Blake's pajamas, side to side, over and over. "It's a beautiful morning and a bright and sunny day, and there's nothing else I'd rather do than spend it all with Bla~ake." Weiss sang. 

Blake stifled a smile. 

Then Weiss leaned back and sat up and fixed her eyepatch and pulled Blake up too.  "It's Saturday, Blake! What do you want to do?"

Blake blinked.

"We can sleep in, or we can run around the mansion flailing our arms (as long as we don't disturb the weekend staff), or I can read to you, or maybe we can go shopping in town? Does any of that sound fun, Blake?" 

Blake tried to make her stomach growl to make her intent clear. 

 Weiss hugged Blake's head with her arms and cheek. "Or we can just sit here and snuggle." 

Blake weighed her options. 

At some point there was a knock at the door. 

Weiss hugged Blake harder, protectively. "That's just the weekend maids, Blake. Don't- don't be afraid of them-" 

The door opened. Four maids entered. There was a tall one, a stocky one, a young one, and a gaunt one. The stocky one began collecting laundry, the young one straightened the books and dusted the desk. The gaunt one ducked into the adjoining bathroom. 

"Good evening, m'lady," said the stocky one, with a curtsy.

"H-hello-"

"Whispers from the serving quarters tell that you have, aha," said the tall one, "Procured yourself a new, aha,  _personal_ maid. Full time personal maid." 

The gaunt maid peaked a head out of the bathroom. "Oh, is that why I just fished six feet of wavy black hair out of your shower drain?" 

The gaunt maid was ignored. The tall maid's eyebrows danced. "So we'll just get her prepared for you." 

The young one and the stocky one finished up their tasks and took Blake by opposite arms and lifted her out of the bed. 

"Nooo~!" Weiss said. Weiss hugged Blake's waist and was dragged along with her when Blake was pulled partially out of of the bed. "She's not a maid! She's- she's part of the family! Or she will be,-" 

The maids released Blake. Blake rubbed her arms for show, but they didn't actually hurt. 

"What, so she's your new sister or something?" said the tall one. 

"Noooooooooo~! Sisters are dumb!" Weiss folded her arms. 

"So she's your baby or something?" said the stocky one. 

Blake stuck her tongue out. Weiss giggled. "No, not that one either." 

"Or a real life stuffed animal?" said the gaunt one. 

"Well, she's not stuffed  _now._ " Weiss poked Blake's rumbling stomach. Blake looked in Weiss's eyes and thought she glimpsed true understanding. 

"So you saw her on the street and just had to take her home?" said the stocky one. 

Weiss smiled. "Yes! Exactly." 

"So like a press-ganging? " said the tall one. 

"That'd make 'er yer conscript then, it would," said the young one. The maid's eyes widened as two thin arms painted an imaginary panorama. "A legionnaire, doomed et'ernally to forlorn for'n shores."

"Noooooooo~" Weiss shook Blake. "She's too fluffy for  _that."_   

"Then wassat make 'er, then?" 

"She's-" Weiss turned to Blake. Weiss closed her eye and smiled contentedly and put her arms around Blake's torso so that her chin rested on Blake's left shoulder. "She's my Blakey." 

Blake did not dispute the hug. She glanced between the four maids. She patted Weiss on the back. 

"So wossat entail?" said the young one. "Dast the missus mind?" 

"Mom says she's fine with it-"

"Does she even want to be here?" said the tall maid. 

"She does!" Weiss said. She turned to Blake. "Don't you just love it here, Blake?"

Blake blinked. 

"See? That means yes." Weiss smiled triumphantly. 

"Fer truth? 'cos she looks mightily miserable." 

Blake blinked. 

"Nooo, that's just how her face looks." Weiss straightened her posture and closed her eyes. "Some kitties just look grumpy all the time."  

Blake blinked again. 

"But I know how to make her smile." Weiss stuck both her palms on Blake's cheeks and pulled her mouth in opposite directions. 

Blake sat there for a while, letting Weiss manipulate her mouth. 

The tall maid coughed. "I don't think a 'Blakey' is a common enough term to completely relay her role here." 

"Well," Weiss said, "She goes and be's my friend and I feed her and teach her things and we play with each other." 

"'Play with each other'?" said the tall one, pointedly.

"Yes!"

"And you teach her," lilted the tall one, "what kind of things?"

"Like, everything! I already taught her how to walk and how to read the letter 'A' and how to eat vegetables." 

Blake's face flattened. 

"And besides," Weiss pulled back and crossed her arms again. Blake rubbed her mouth. "It doesn't matter what she is now. By the end of today she'll officially be a Schnee." 

The maids blinked. "Really?" 

"As soon as the papers get in." Weiss straightened her back. 

"Couddat perchance be these one's 'ere?" The young maid pulled out an envelop. "twas on the doorstep, directed to the young missus." 

"Oh my gosh yes!" Weiss stumbled out of the bed and ran up to the envelope. She plucked it out of the maids hand and waved it towards Blake. 

"It's here, Blake! Look!" Weiss waved the envelope in front of Blake. "Look at it, Blake!"

Blake blinked. 

"Aren't you excited?"

Blake stared. 

"Blink if you're excited, Blake." Weiss said. She looked into Blake's eyes. 

Blake continued to stare. Her mouth twitched.

Weiss blew into Blake's eyes. Blake didn't blink. 

Weiss put her thumb on Blake's lower lip and opened and closed the outside of Blake's mouth. " _Why yes indeed, Weiss, I'm quite excited."_

"Why's she got an accent?" 

"Ain't no reason for to 'ave an accent," said the young one. "Nun wasserever." 

"And wouldn't she have a Faunus accent, if she were to have one?" said the stocky one. 

"Don't you all have other things to do?" Weiss said. She frowned and clutched Blake. 

"Oh, but what could be more interesting than you and your new... Blakey." 

Weiss's grip grew tighter and her breaths sharper. "It's none of your business. Y-you all are dismissed." Weiss said. 

The maids shared glances and shrugged. They left the room. 

Weiss hugged Blake again, and her breathing steadied. 

 

 

 

 

 Weiss carried Blake into the hallway. Blake could see at least two members of the staff straightening picture frames, sweeping the floors and dusting the ornaments. Weiss put Blake on her feet in the middle of the hall and started going on about something. 

"It's so great to be a Schnee, Blake! Especially on the weekend, when we can do anything!" Weiss said, "It's so exciting, Blake! You know what it's like?" 

Blake blinked. 

"Here, allow me to explain in song!" 

Blake blinked. 

Weiss snapped her fingers. A piano was brought out into the hallway. Weiss skipped up to and slid on the lacquered bench until she was at the optimal location to play a C major riff.

“Ooooh~ I know life can be tough for many people," Weiss sang, looking towards Blake, "And you don’t know where your time and money went~“

Weiss then accurately described the life situation that Blake used to have and that many of the people in her parent’s labor union still did.

“But the road’s paved with gold and all pretty things,” Weiss leaned back. She swung her right arm in a wide ark, above her head and then to behind her, where Blake was.

"When you're the one per~ceennnnnt!" 

Weiss stood up and grabbed Blake's hand. Weiss pulled her forward, and the upper half of Blake's body moved first. Weiss pulled Blake from the second story hall into the grand foyer, up behind the balcony that overlooked the front door. Somewhere behind her, some of the maids started playing brass instruments; at least one tuba, a trombone, and maybe some drums. The song proper started.

“You never have to worry about all your wants or needs~,” Weiss sang. She gestured to the air, non-specifically, alternating between her right arm and her left arm, turning her head to the direction she gestured. “’cause we’re no proletariat, Blake, we’re the bourgeoisie! Even all those mangy haters down in Grand Menagerie~”

Weiss grabbed both of Blake’s hands and held them up. “They're like, 'Wow, it's great to be a Schnee!'”

Blake blinked.

Weiss pulled Blake by the hand towards the balcony. Weiss leaned against the railings with a theatrical fold of her arms. 

“You’ve got power and respect and people do just what you want~,” Weiss snapped her fingers and a maid appeared with a burlap sack with a giant lien sign on it. It clinked as Weiss shook it.

“And obstacles just go away with utmost nonchalance~,” Weiss twirled around, reaching into the sack and flinging shiny metal disks all around them, and especially over the edge of the railing. Several of the backup dancers stopped dancing to pick them up and pocket them.

“Because money’s what we have and it’s what other people need! And it why it’s just so great to be a Schnee!”

Weiss turned to Blake and smiled. Blake blinked. Weiss hugged Blake, briefly.

Weiss then stood up on the railing, gesturing to the front window. The silhouette of the city could be seen among the morning smog.

"Other people scrimp and save their winnings in a heap~.” Weiss gestured out grandly. She took three steps along the railing and then spun on her left foot, ending up facing where Blake looked on. "And risk it all and when they lose they can do naught but weep. But we don’t have to risk a thing; we’ve got the funds to spare! And if we flop, we’ll get bailed out ‘cause we’re to big to fail, Oh~!” Weiss then took a step backwards off the balcony, disappearing from view. 

Blake ran over to the railing and peeked over it. Weiss had been caught by some of the backup dancers and was arching her arms above her and standing on the tips of her toes and spinning. 

"Every day's a hedonistic blur of luxury~," Weiss was being swarmed by maids. She looked up and gestured towards Blake, and Blake took a step back from the railing. A couple maids then picked Blake up by the arms. Blake struggled and hissed at them. They tossed her over the railing. 

Four maids caught Blake before she hit the ground. Then they flung Blake into the center of the room, where Weiss was currently obscured by several maids. When they twirled away, Weiss was wearing an elegant white dress with silver detailing. 

 “When every whim you think or feel can be reality~," Weiss turned to Blake and clasped Blake's hands in her own again. Blake blinked. 

“’Cause money’s what we’ve got and it's the way to live your dreams~" Weiss then gestured grandly, again. “And it's why it's just so great to be a Schnee!”

Weiss held out her arms. Two maids slid into close quarters on each side of Weiss and locked arms with her. They kicked their right knee in unison, and then did the same gesture but with their feet out. Then they switched legs, and then they spun away.

“When all your needs come pre-fulfilled as far as you foresee~,” Weiss tried to waltz or something with Blake. Blake looked down to her feet but still ended stepping on Weiss's toes. “You’re liberated from the pain of life’s uncertainty~,”

As Weiss led Blake around in half a pas de deus, four pairs of maids appeared at equidistant corners around the two of them, mirroring the intended dance moves. “Pinned betwixt twin sins of avarice and gluttony, oh Blake you’ll never hate being a Schnee!”

Weiss pulled Blake towards the front gate, letting go of Blake's hand a few times to do some jumping thing and spin. Weiss ended up in front of one of the security guards; stern and wearing sunglasses, feet apart with hands behind the back.

“And cops will never point their guns at you- they’re always so polite!” Weiss waved to the guard. The guard smiled grimly and pretended to tip a hat. “They’ll never pull you over when you’re walking home at night. And even if you break the law, they’ll keep true to your rights~"

Weiss spun a couple times and landed with her hands beckoning to Blake. “Because laws are written and enforced exclusively by -people from a homogeneous and often insulated culture with specific ideas of what looks like probable cause of criminal intent and the non universal nature of this culture increases the likelihood that they are unequipped to optimally implement the intended rule of law outside said culture, but since the Schnee's are from this culture, we get to experience full protections of the legal system as it's intended to work." 

Blake scrunched her mouth to the side.

Weiss did another jumping thing as she pulled Blake back into the center of the room.  A group of maids were aligned on both sides of them, frozen in aggrandizing poses. Each pair sprang into another piece of choreography the moment Weiss and Blake passed between them. 

“Oh, everyone accepts your ev’ry eccentricity~,” 

Weiss dragged Blake by the hand to the base of the balcony. Four maids bowed at the corners of some rectangular block. Weiss pulled Blake onto it and gestured to the sky.

“And you can have just what you want and be just what you'll be~,”

Blake grabbed Weiss for balance as the block ascended, up to shoulder-height of the four maids holding what turned out to be some sort of litter.

The maids formed concentric circles, spinning at different speeds and in alternating directions.

“You'll be blown away, like MLKJ ‘cross the bal~con~y~," Weiss gestured grandly to the paean of dancing serving staff and then to the air. The maids followed the gesture with their own arms.

“When you see how great it is to be a Schnee!”

There were two staccato beats during which the maids got to their feet. Weiss picked Blake up by the armpits and held her out in front of her above the dancers, like some kind of baby lion.

“Oh, when you see how great it is, you’re gonna be elated- it just can’t be debated, and you’re never gonna hate it-”

The music crescendo-ed to the finale and Weiss held Blake out as far as she could. Blake's head slumped into her shoulders by virtue of being held by her armpits.

“When you see how great it is to be a Schneeeee~!”

Weiss held the note for a long time. The maids and security guards and assorted staff finished up their choreography in a bow, focused around Blake. Then the music stopped. 

Seven seconds after Weiss finished her last note, the litter descended. Weiss picked Blake off the litter and the maids dispersed. Blake overheard some of them talking about something about contracts and payment and a union of some sort.

Then Blake was hugged to Weiss's chest. 

"So what do you think, Blakey?" Weiss said. Weiss released the hug and smiled expectantly and stared into Blake's eyes. 

Blake cleared her throat. " _ **flat during chorus. unsteady tempo.**_ ”

“Nooooo~,” Weiss laughed in despair, or perhaps delight. She shook Blake. “I meant what did you think about being a Schnee? Are you excited?”

Blake blinked.

“Because it’s gonna be so great, Blakey.” Weiss ripped open the envelope and pulled out a tri-folded piece of paper. "Maybe it won't feel real for a while but just you wait, Blake, you'll be a natural Schnee in no-"

Weiss paused. She stared at the paper. Her smile vanished, replaced by a frown.

“Moooooom!”

 

 

 

Weiss carried Blake into one of the mansion’s studies. It smelled dusty. A yellowed light hung above a mountain range of papers. An electric glowing rectangle illuminated two human faces. 

“Mom!” Weiss said, as angry as Blake had ever heard her.

The other taller Schnee was looking through some papers with the family accountant. The accountant shirked when Weiss approached, and Mom Schnee put down the papers and looked up and gave a smile. “What is it, Weiss sweetie?”

Weiss shook the tri-folded paper in front of her. “Why do Blake’s papers say her name is Blake  _Belladonna?”_

The other taller Schnee smiled. “Well, I thought the alliteration sounded nice-”

“That’s not what I meant~.” Weiss pouted. “I – I thought you said you’d make Blake a part of the family.”

“But it  _is_  part of the family! Just like our accountant or our cook or our optics engineer.”

The accountant opened an awkward mouth and reconsidered speaking and forced a smile and nodded.

Weiss pouted harder. “No I thought- I thought you were going to make her a Schnee-”

“Weiss that is utterly absurd. You know how valuable our family name is, and what our name represents. Even your father had to work his hardest to earn it. We’re not going to give it to something you picked off the streets last Tuesday.”

“But-”

“I understand there was some confusion of expectations. I am sorry that it occurred, but the situation is what it is." 

“But-” Weiss puffed out her cheek.

“Weiss, sweetie,” Mom Schnee picked up her papers and resumed scribbling on them. “I would be happy to repeat my explanations to you all day, but I am skeptical that it will satisfy you. It is what it is.”

Weiss balled and unballed her fists, twice. She then exhaled. “Fine.”

Weiss pulled Blake into a cold hug that softened after a moment. “It’s okay, Blakey, I don’t care what your last name is.” Weiss gave a slight smile. She pulled Blake out of the room. “Now C’mon, Blake, let’s go play until you’re all cheered up.”

Blake looked down at her stomach. Blake looked up at Weiss.

Blake now tried to will her stomach  _not_  to growl. She sighed. 

Blake allowed Weiss to pull her back into the bedroom so they could play.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This scene was intended from the start, so when I started this chapter and it turned out that satirical songwriting is waaay harder than {internet comedian songwriter} makes it look, I didn't just want to skip it. So after continually lowering my expectations for this chapter, here it is, and even now I'm sure it's not as clever or funny as I think it is. Good news is, though, I promise not to go on three months of hiatus for an awful, offensive rip-off of something Disney did. Regular, non-musical updates shall resume forthwith.


	6. A Pet Kitty, pt 6

They ended up in Weiss's room again; a slightly less dusty, less crooked, less personal version of Weiss's room. Or, Blake supposed, it was also where _she_ slept, so it could, possibly, be _their_ room. It didn't feel like home, though, so Blake supposed she'd still call it Weiss's room.

Weiss plopped Blake on the bed. She went away to close the door. She wiped her face on her sleeve and once her eyes were dry she managed to smile again. She put Blake on their- _her_ bed and grabbed Blake's forearms to flail around.

“'Sing a song of sixpence',” Weiss sang. “'A pocket full of rye'.” Weiss moved Blake's hands in small circles, between them.

“'Four and twenty Blakeys' Blaked in a pie,” Weiss continued, her voice a little louder and more confident, “'When the pie was opened, the Blakes began to sing'."

Weiss flopped Blake's arms around. “'Wasn't that a Blakey dish to serve before the Schnee'?”

Weiss looked at Blake expectantly.

Blake blinked. Weiss continued to stare. 

Blake cleared her throat. _**“i** **'m going to be a pie?”**_ she deadpanned.

“Oh, Blakey,” Weiss said, “You're already a pie.” Weiss smiled and jumped up and down on her knees. She put both her hands on Blake's shoulder and looked her in the eyes. “A cutie pie!”

Blake looked at the ground and suppressed a blush. Weiss hugged Blake's head and rubbed Blake's hair.

“I wonder if I can steal a laundry basket? It can be the pie tin, and then we can bake a Blakey pie for reals.”

Blake puffed out her cheek.

“I guess though,” Weiss said, “In the absence of a proper pie tin, you could be a _pizza_ pie! Let me set it up!”

Weiss released Blake's head and picked her up and deposited her on the comfy chair. Weiss then pulled the blanket off her bed and spread it on the floor. The blanket was fancy, but it was still shaped like a regular blanket; a rectangle, so Weiss had to bunch up the edges until it was a circle. 

While Weiss worked, she sang the second verse of the song, about how her mother was working on their family finances and her father was eating bread and honey and something about a maid. 

Weiss took some throw pillows off the chairs to be various toppings. Weiss decided they were the tomato slices. Blake did not disapprove.

“And now for the most important part,” Weiss ran over and picked up Blake by the torso. “What topping do you want to be? The pepperoni?”

Blake frowned.

“The green peppers?”

Blake stuck her tongue out in disgust.

“Oooh ooh, I know! You can be the anchovy!”

Blake blinked. After a while, she smiled, slightly, for a moment.

“Yay!” Weiss said. She gently lay Blake on her back on the pillow pizza. Blake splayed her arms out, but Weiss positioned them against her sides. “Fish don't have arms, Blake!” Weiss explained.

Weiss also made sure that Blake's head rested on a pillow, and she patted Blake's limbs and stomach after she was done.

“Looks good, Blake!” Weiss said, “You're the yummiest anchovy I've ever seen.” Weiss pretended to nibble on Blake's stomach. 

“And I can be the cheese!” 

Weiss carefully flopped on top of Blake, perpendicularly. She was heavier than Blake thought she would be, and slightly colder. 

They lay there, with only Weiss making the occasional giggle.

Weiss then stood up. “I forgot that we need to cook, Blake, or the pizza could have salmonella in it. And that's no fun Blake, having salmonella poisoning! That's no fun at all.”

Weiss tugged on one end of the blanket and dragged Blake and the pillows to the door. “Here, let's go find a place to bake, Blake!" 

The blanket sled slid silently along the polished floor. It wasn't completely unfun. Blake did not, however, hold her arms out or say 'wheee'. Not even after Weiss demonstrated how one was supposed to enjoy a blanket sled.

 

 

The room they ended up in was down the halls, so Blake got to ride on the blanket for a couple minutes. They only encountered one maid, who looked at them incredulously but remained silent. Weiss waved. Blake made eye contact, briefly. 

“Okay, how 'bout this room, Blakey?” Weiss pontificated to a doorway a edge of a hall. “It's where we store all our old clothes, so it should be big and empty enough for our purposes.”

Weiss flipped on the lights to a big and empty enough room. The walk-in closet had no windows, but there were three full-length standing mirrors, so the single fluorescent light was enough to light up the room. It was also an armory of coats, mostly white and brown. Coats and formal attire. A few hats. A wall of scarfs. A jewelry box and a drawer of ties. 

Weiss pulled them all the way into the room and closed the door. She turned to Blake.  “Mom always says that Faunus have to cook in the back of the oven, but we can be wherever you like, Blakey,” Weiss said. Blake blinked. 

Blake pointed to the fur coats. They looked soft.

Weiss dragged Blake and set up the fake pizza on a pile of coats. After she finished, she took a short running start and jumped, landing right next to Blake. Blake only flinched a little. 

Weiss eventually stopped giggling and took to her role. They lay there for a while, as a pizza.

 

 

At some point, the door opened. 

“Oh, Ms Schnee.” said one of the weekend maids- the tall one, “I hope I'm not interrupting something." The maid smirked horribly.

"And I hate to take you... out of the closet," the maid smirked more, "But I was instructed to bring you and 'the Faunus' down for breakfast."

“We can't,” Weiss said, not looking up, “We're pizzas.”

Blake turned to Weiss and pouted. She tapped her stomach.

Weiss's mouth wobbled. “Well okay, if you're hungry.” Weiss rubbed Blake's head. 

Weiss sat up and stretched a little and turned to the maid. “Ooh ooh, do we have breakfast pizzas?”

The maid's face flattened. “We do not.”

“Awww.”

 


	7. A Pet Kitty, pt 7

“So what are you hungry for, Blake?” Weiss said at breakfast.

Today, it was a buffet style breakfast. Various staff mingled in areas around the huge table. Blake supposed that the table had twenty seats because, sometimes, they had twenty people for dinner.

The cook sat behind a counter of food plates. Blake pointed to the fruit, and the three different types of eggs and four types of breakfast meat and the biscuits and the two more types of eggs and the bacon and the other fruit and the other bacon and-

Blake just started eating. Weiss took what she could off Blake’s plate.

And once she couldn’t eat anymore, Blake tumbled to the floor. She lay on her back, stretching her arms out above her head and pointing her toes downward. She closed her eyes and let a smile come to her lips.

Blake cracked her right eye to look at Weiss when the human girl knelt down to scritch at her belly, exposed when she stretched her arms as a virtue of a shirt that might have been a little too small for her.

“Oh Blakey,” Weiss said. “You’re so Blakey.” Weiss tilted her head back. “Blakey is the Blaky-est Blakey~” Weiss sang.

Blake closed her eyes and breathed. The assessment was accurate.

Blake opened her eyes when Weiss picked her up and held Blake over her shoulder. “Okay, so what do you want to do now? We need to kill some time until people are free to take us shopping this afternoon.”

 

 

 

Blake preferred to kill time by lying on the ground. This is what she was doing while Weiss ran around the mansion, flailing her arms. 

“Blake Blake Blake!” said Weiss, at some point. 

Blake sat up. 

Weiss had found a laundry basket. “I found a laundry basket!” Weiss exclaimed. “Now we can make you a regular pie. Or, since it actually looks more like a cage...”

Weiss turned to Blake. “You're under arrest, Blake,” Weiss said. She gently lowered the basket on top of Blake's head. “For being _too fluffy.”_

Blake glowered from under the laundry basket. “ _ **th**_ _ **is**_ _ **l**_ _ **aw's racially biased.**_ ”

Weiss ducked up under the basket so she was face to face with Blake, together in their cage.

“I hereby sentence you to forty hours of snuggle prison!” Weiss put her hands on Blake’s shoulders.

“So it's just regular prison, then?” said the tall maid, from aways away.

“Noo~! In snuggle prison,” Weiss hugged Blake's head and rubbed her cheek on Blake's hair. “All you do is snuggle.”

There was a cough. “So,” said the tall maid, “It's just regular prison, then?”

“Noooo~” Weiss said, “Here, let me show you.”

 

 

 

The next thing Blake knew, the maids had formed a line, piling pillows without mortar in a massive pillow fort. It had multiple stories and towers and even a pillow portcullis.

Blake was escorted through pillow hallways lit by pillow torches set in pillow sconces, until Blake was deposited into a pillow cell that smelled like solitude and fabric softener. A window formed by a travel neck pillow let in thin rays of pallid light.

Blake lay down, splayed out on the pillow cobblestone. It was the softest prison she’d ever been in. She closed her eyes.

 

 

Blake awoke to the gradual thumping of the gaoler’s footsteps squishing into the pillows outside her cell.

Blake reached her hands out of the pillow bars. The gaoler paused.

Blake gave a pout and patted her stomach.

“Dast nae grub ‘n pilllah prison,” spat the young maid, “’specially fer crinimals inna _maximum_ _security_ _wing_. Yous and yous partner in crime can feel the pang o’ incarceration. Ahahahaha.”

Blake glared.

The gaoler stalked away.

Blake lay back down and closed her eyes.

 

 

Blake awoke. There was still thee soft thumping on a side of her cell.

A pillow brick popped out of the pillow wall and fell onto the pillow floor.

A single blue eye appeared in the hole.

“Oh hello! Another prisoner?” said Weiss, in a weird voice.

Blake blinked.

“What are you in here for?”

Blake’s eyebrows flattened. “ _ **being '** **too fluffy'** **.**_ ” Blake intoned.

Weiss’s eye widened and she clutched her hands to her mouth. “That’s horrible! I think you're just the right amount of fluffy."

Blake’s mouth flattened. She glared even harder.

“Your story wells me with sympathy so I will let you in on a secret,” Weiss whispered. She leaned closer to the hole in the wall. “I am the heiress to a _vast fortune_. If we get out of here, I will share it with you, and you can enact revenge upon those who have wronged you."

Blake blinked.

Weiss snaked an arm through the pillow and held out a hand. “So what do you say? Are we in agreement?”

Blake scrunched her mouth to the side. She patted Weiss’s hand twice and then walked over to the far wall of her pillow cell and pushed against one of the base pillows.

It didn’t budge.

Blake blinked.

Blake pressed harder.

The pillow squished, but it didn’t pop out of its place.

Blake ran to the cell door and grabbed one of the pillow bars and yanked.

The pillow folded like a pillow should, but it didn’t pop out of its place, and when Blake let go it fell back into place.

Blake walked to one corner of the cell and took a running start, bodily throwing herself against the cell door.

Blake curled into a ball in the air, landing on her feet. At the maxima of her impact, Blake stretched out her legs to increase the pressure in the wall. 

The entire fort twisted to accommodate the escape attempt. There was a tearing noise.

And the cell sprang back to normal. Blake bounced off, hitting the floor, bouncing off to hit the opposite wall, angling right to bounce off the ceiling, and then bounce twice, splaying onto the floor.

Blake blinked. She hoped that Weiss didn’t see that.

“You didn’t think it’d be _that_ easy, did you?” Weiss said.

Blake’s hope died. Her eyebrows flattened and she sighed.

Blake closed her eyes.

 

 

Blake awoke. She turned her head to examine the bars again.

She heard a tear when she slammed into the door. Maybe she’d have to resort to property damage to get out. Not optimal, but it made more and more sense the more hungry Blake became.

On closer look of the base of the bar, though, there was a strip of interlocking plastic features, connecting the bar pillow to the floor pillow. Some of it had peeled off.

Actually, on further inspection, every pillow was locked into place with these plastic strips. It was likely how the pillow prison was constructed.

Blake gripped the strip by a corner and pulled. There was another tearing sound, which turned out to just be the sound of the plastic locks popping out of place. Blake found she could pick the strip off part by part. It was less strong in small amounts, like a metaphor for unity or something.

Then the gaoler thumped along.

Blake pretended to be asleep.

And as soon as the thumps of footstep on pillow faded, Blake got back to work, peeling the pillow bars out of their sockets.

“Yay, go Blake!” Weiss said.

As soon as enough bars were free, Blake scootched out under them and rushed over to Weiss’s cell and scrabbled at the base of one of Weiss’s bars. Blake manged to get her fingernails in between enough of the strips to pry a corner loose.

Blake tumbled into the cell. Weiss was curled up in a corner of her cell, facing the door.

Blake ran over and grasped Weiss’s right hand in both her own. She pulled Weiss to her feet and shifted her grip on Weiss’s hand to only Blake's left hand, so that they could run easier.

Blake ran, leading Weiss down the corridors. She didn’t know which way the exit was or even where the guards were likely to be- that might be bad, she though-

“Oy you!” said one of the weekend maids, “Get back ‘ere, crinimal scum!”

Blake bounded the opposite direction- a stairwell going up- not the most optimal route-

Especially since it turned out, this stairwell ended in a tower cell, almost exactly like their own cells except this one had a large window with three bars, overlooking the outside world. The cell door was open, so maybe they could lock themselves in?

“It was a good attempt, Blake,” Weiss said despondently. 

Blake grit her teeth. She pulled Weiss to the far side of the cell and scrabbled at the base of the middle bar.

Blake climbed up atop the still and put the whole of her weight behind tearing the bar free. It did, with a grating scratch, and Blake fell on her backside. She stood up and scooped Weiss in her arms.

Weiss squealed once but then put her arms around Blake’s neck.

Blake put a leg over the window still and squeezed the two of them between the bars. Blake looked down; there weren’t any pillows under this edge of the prison.

But cats always land on their feet.

Blake landed perfectly, bending her knees during the impact. She only took a moment before she ran forward, all the way to the grand foyer. The indignant shouting of the gaoler faded behind them.

Blake exhaled. She was free. _They_ were free.

Blake checked a nearby clock-

It was still Saturday.

Even more, this whole thing had only taken 45 minutes.

Blake blinked.

“Oh Blakey! My hero!” Weiss hugged Blake’s head. She rubbed her cheek on Blake’s hair and made contented noises. “Please share in my vast fortune of friendship, because that was the true treasure all along!”

Blake dropped Weiss. Weiss was actually really heavy, and with the adrenaline going away Blake didn’t want to try to carry Weiss any longer than she had to. Also, Blake didn’t want to be carrying Weiss in the first place.

“Oof!” said Weiss.

Blake then dropped to the ground and rolled on her back, her arms splayed out and her eyes closed. She agreed with Weiss’s sentiment.

 

 


	8. A Pet Kitty, pt 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guarantee no expertise in or even basic knowledge of fashion.

Blake was on a couch, soft and blue and smelling of disuse. Weiss figured it would be more comfortable than the floor, so she had some of the staff pull out a couch for her to flop onto. Weiss sat down next to her, trying to poke at her stomach.

The other taller Schnee walked in.

“So Weiss, sweetie,” said the other taller Schnee. She stood up straight and smiled warmly. “I can drive you and Blake to the market now, if you wanted to go shopping.”

Weiss smiled. She clutched Blake’s hand. “That’s okay, mom. The cook and some of the maids need to restock some things, so I’m going with them.”

Weiss and her mother stared at each other for a moment. Weiss’s grip on Blake’s hand tightened.

“If that’s what you want,” said Weiss’s mom. She straightened her posture and turned to leave. She shot one grim glance at Blake before she left the room.

Weiss exhale. She turned to Blake and smiled.

Weiss lifted up one of Blake’s feet and started playing with it.

“Eeny meeny miny moe, catch a Blakey by the toe.” Weiss picked Blake’s smallest toe on her left foot between her thumb and forefinger.

Blake looked at Weiss.

Weiss rubbed her thumb and forefinger around Blake’s toe. It tickled. Not that Blake was ticklish or anything.

Blake tried not to react.

“If she hollers, let her go,” Weiss said.

Blake didn’t react some more.

Weiss started rubbing all her fingers along Blake’s foot.

Blake only twitched a little.

“Oh, we need to get Blake some shoes too!” Weiss said, out-loud.

Blake wondered who she was talking to, but it turned out the cook and the two maids who were accompanying them were right behind them.

“Is Blake going to go out in her pajamas?” said the cook.

“Ummm,” Weiss cogitated, “Do you want to change, Blake?"

Blake blinked.

“We can go to the clothes store first, and get you some cool clothes to wear instead of just your jammies!" 

Blake shrugged. 

 

 

 

After a car ride, they arrived at the Monument to Capitalism, stark and looming, bleeding cold streams of revenue and dotted with the outlets of avarice. 

The maids and the cook branched off to buy cleaning and sewing supplies, leaving Weiss some time to pull Blake into a clothing store.

Weiss first dressed Blake in a black dress with white vertical stripes. She pushed Blake onto a a pedestal, flanked by instruments of vanity. 

Blake regarded her reflection, dressed in the dress. It was okay.

“Eeeek!” Weiss said. She jumped onto the pedestal, arms outstretched, and hugged Blake. “You’re so cute, Blake!”

Blake let herself be jostled by Weiss.

Weiss turned Blake to one of the mirrors. "Look at how Blakey you are!" 

Blake regarded the extent of her Blakeyness. 

Weiss then pushed Blake by the shoulders into the changing booth.

The next outfit Weiss dressed Blake in was a button down shirt and a black sweater vest, along with some form-fitting pants that only went down to her calves.  She pushed Blake onto the pedestal with the mirrors around it, again 

Blake regarded herself in the ensemble. It was okay.

“Eeeeeek!” Weiss said. She jumped onto the pedestal, arms outstretched, and hugged Blake. “You’re so cute, Blake!”

Blake let herself be jostled by Weiss.

Weiss turned Blake to one of the mirrors. "Look at how Blakey you are!" 

Blake regarded the extent of her Blakeyness. 

Weiss then pushed Blake by the shoulders into the changing booth.

When Blake stepped out, she was dressed in a black cat pajama onesie.

Blake regarded herself in the stupid pajamas. She frowned immensely.

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeek!” Weiss said. She jumped onto the pedestal, arms outstretched, and hugged Blake. “You’re so cute, Blakey!” Weiss then peeked her head up. “Wait, one more thing!”

Weiss left. She returned with a cat-ear headband. She put it on around the hood part of the onesie.

Weiss turned Blake to one of the mirrors. "Look at how Blakey you are!" 

 _"_ **_this is redundant. and dumb. you idiot.”_ **

“You can never be too kitty, Blake!"

Blake frowned even harder. She resisted Weiss’s hug.

Weiss desisted the hug. “Ok, did you want to pick something?”

Blake wandered the clothing racks. Eventually, she found a dark blue track suit.

Blake managed to dress herself without Weiss’s help. Not that she needed Weiss’s help. Or wanted it.

She stepped out onto the pedestle in front of the mirrors and regarded herself.

Blake smirked and exhaled through her smirk.

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!” Weiss said. She jumped onto the pedestal and hugged Blake. “You’re so cute, Blakey Blake Blake!”

 Weiss turned Blake to one of the mirrors. "Look at how Blakey you are! You're so Blakey, Blakey!"

Blake allowed herself to be hugged by Weiss. 

After that, Weiss got some clothes for herself and made a monetary sacrifice upon the altar of commerce. She place the clothes they bought, and Blake's pajamas, in a large armful of bags. She carried them out.

 

 

They next stopped at the shoe shrine, splayed with snaking stands of footware alcoves.

Weiss lay their previous bags of purchases against the wall and placed Blake on a bench. She left and returned with some soft socks. She kneeled before Blake and lifted one of Blake's bare feet up onto her lap and slid the sock up Blake's leg. 

Blake turned her head away and kept a straight face. 

After the sock was all the way up, Weiss snapped the band against Blake's calf. Weiss did the same with Blake's other foot and  then pulled out a stack of shoes.

"Here, try these ones Blake;" Weiss pulled out a pointed pair of black shoes. "They're kitten heels! Do you see, Blake? Kitties, just like you!"

Blake blinked.

After Weiss finished putting the shoes on, she pulled Blake to her feet. "How do they feel?"

Weiss ran around to behind Blake and led her forward. Blake took a step and almost turned her ankle. She bolted out her arms to keep her balance.

"Oh no! Do you need me to teach you how to walk again?" 

Blake made the dirtiest face. 

Weiss picked out more shoes for Blake. There was another set of heels, a pair of mary-janes, and some sort of slipper thing for indoor use. 

"Do you like any of these, Blake?" 

Blake stared. 

"Did you want to pick a pair?" 

Blake did, and so she did. 

"Sneakers? Are you going to be sneaky, Blake?" Weiss said after Blake picked out her shoes.

Blake knelt down to start lacing up the shoe. Weiss then appeared before her feet. 

"Here, Blake, let me teach you how to tie your shoes!" 

Blake blinked.

Weiss grabbed both ends of the laces on Blake's right sneaker. "First, you cross the laces." Weiss then moved her hands to opposite sides of her body, making an X with the laces. 

"Then, you loop one lace around the other." 

"Then, uh, you make a circle with one lace." 

"And then you switch the laces in your hand and then you snake this one under this cross here..."

Weiss stared at the messy knot of string and frowned for only a moment. 

"And then you loop  _this_ one around... hmmm." 

A few minutes later, Weiss pronounced the shoe tied. She waved her hands excitedly. 

Blake tied her left shoe. 

"Wow, Blake!" Weiss stood up and hugged Blake, "You're such a fast learner!" 

Blake stared at Weiss. 

 

 

 

Afterwards, Blake smelled the stench of leather and realized Weiss was taking her into a tenebrous tannery, with strange paraphernalia adorning pallid racks and carnal shelves. Blake tried to run. Weiss wrapped her arms around Blake's torso, though. Eventually Weiss had to pick Blake up and carry her into the store. 

Blake was placed on another bench. She regarded the various accessories, and then decided she'd rather not, actually. 

Weiss appeared with a thin leather collar. 

“Cmon, try it on, Blake!” Weiss said. She held the collar out.

Blake turned her head. 

Weiss tried to put the collar on Blake. Blake grabbed Weiss's hands and glared.

“No Blake! Just let me put a collar on you-”

They struggled a bit. Blake won. She smirked only for a moment. 

“Ugh, fine,” Weiss got up and brushed herself off. She put the collar on herself. “See? It’s not so bad. This one’s too snug though.”

Weiss regarded herself in a nearby mirror. She smiled softly and her cheeks tinted, just a bit. "Or maybe it's not snug enough. Hmmm."

Weiss spent a few minutes trying on the various neck acessories. 

Blake exhaled in relief.

Sometime as Weiss was trying on different collars, Blake picked up a riding crop from a nearby stand. When Weiss next came over, Blake touched it to Weiss's head- not with any attempt to hurt her or anything. Blake actually wasn't quite sure what possessed her to do such a thing.

Weiss giggled. She grabbed Blake's hand and tried to pry the crop away. "No, Blake, that's not how you use that. Here, let me teach you-"

Blake escaped Weiss's grip and flung the crop towards the edge of the store. She tried to look nonchalant. 

Weiss giggled and shrugged and went back to trying on leather things.

And later, Weiss gathered all their previous bags in her arms and approached Blake. 

"Yep, I don't think you'd appreciate collars, Blake," Weiss said, "So we can go now." 

Blake blinked. 

"They're sooooo cool, but it's okay if you don't want to live life to the fullest, Blake."

Blake blinked again. 

Weiss hugged Blake's head. "Poor Blakey! Never to know the coolness of collars! How horrible!" 

Blake sighed and picked the most inconspicuous black collar off the shelf. She tried to put it on, but she fumbled for an embarrassing amount of time.

Weiss dropped the bags and walked up to Blake and put Blake's collar on, still smiling gently and blushing slightly.

Blake turned her head and scrunched her mouth until Weiss finished. 

"Eeeek!" Weiss said. She hugged Blake. "You're so cute, Blake!" 

 

 They exited the gleaning maw of the consumerist temple and waited at the park.

"I'm just saying," said one of the maids in the distance, "Maybe they'd have more buisness if they abandoned the whole 'religion of sacrifice' aesthetic-" 

Then the maids and the cook met up with them.

"I see you got Blake a collar," said the tall maid, gathering up Weiss's shopping bags, "Make sure you get your address and contact info engraved upon it somewhere there, so if she gets lost she can get returned."

Weiss hugged Blake. "But why would Blake ever leave my side?" Weiss said. 

Blake blinked.

"But hmmm," Weiss pondered, "That's actually a good idea in general."

"And make sure you put a 'property of Weiss Schnee' on there too," the maid said evily. 

Blake glared. 

"I don't think that'll fit." Weiss pondered some more.  

 Blake scrunched her mouth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	9. A Pet Kitty, pt 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More fluff. I think. 
> 
> The bit about cats and milk is true, btw.

They walked to an adjacent store complex. Blake skipped, when Weiss wasn’t looking, trying out her shoes. Wearing things on your feet was weird, but the sneakers fit well. She could walk on sharp and/or hot surfaces and not hurt her feet. 

They passed a wooden booth ran by an outgoing child and a sullen adult. The booth had words on it; 'organic', 'home-made', 'proceeds help me get to the Olympics', etc. 

Weiss turned to Blake, and Blake put her arms down and slumped her shoulders. Weiss put an arm around Blake’s neck and pointed to the booth. 

“Oooh look! Look at it, Blake! Milk!” 

Weiss brought Blake to the wooden booth and slammed some lien down in front of the child. Weiss was handed a small bottle of milk. Weiss shook the milk.

“It’s just like the milk jug on your pajam-jams, Blake!” Weiss said, gesturing to the milk. 

That wasn’t strictly true. Both bottles were the same shape, but this jug had a cartoon cow’s face on it.

Weiss then gasped. Her face fell and she brought her hands to her mouth. “Oh no! I haven’t been feeding you milk, Blake! You must be so sad, and you probably have all these vitamin D deficiencies. Here, I’ll fix that right now.”

Weiss walked up to Blake and put an arm behind Blake’s waist.

Weiss stepped forward and somehow Blake’s upper half fell back, held in Weiss’s arm in half a dance move. Weiss bent her arm so that her hand was under Blake’s head while she supported Blake's torso with her elbow. 

Weiss popped the lid off the milk jug with her free thumb. “Open wide, Blake.” Weiss said.

“Ah-” interjected the cook, “I thought the ‘cats like milk’ thing was a misconception, and cats are actually allergic to milk?”

"Oh no!" Weiss said, "Is that true, Blake?" 

“ _ **only cow milk.** **”**_

“Ohhh nooooooo!” Weiss tossed the jug of milk behind her. Blake heard the bottle shatter. “Then we need to get other types of milk! Like goat’s milk or ostritch milk.”

“Or you could just wait until you hit puberty,” said the tall maid.

“Or maybe almond milk? I think they make that now too.” Weiss pondered.

“There’s also rice and soy milk,” offered the cook.

“C’mon, Blake! Into the food market!” Weiss pulled Blake upright and pointed in the general direction of food. “We can also get you your favorite foods too, if you want? Does that sound fun, Blakey?”

Blake’s stomach growled, but outwardly she just shrugged and tried to look nonchalant.

They arrived at the food market. There was a whole open area, an agora with booths full of small, independent farming businesses selling their produce. There were non-GMO, organic, free-range, grain-fed, cruelty-free chickens, calves, soaps, faunus slaves (maybe not that one), pigs and crickets, and hand-made recycled biodegradable bowls, spoons, knives, bracelets, home computers and dream-catchers. 

Blake took a step and was immediately pulled back by Weiss.

“No Blake, not there!” Weiss pulled on Blake’s shoulders. “We shop at the soulless conglomerate!"

Weiss pointed at a concrete monolith, inset with neon block letters and the dusty hum of refrigeration. "They sell _everything_ in there.”

Weiss led Blake into the supermarket. It was fancy. Soft classical music could be heard once they stepped past the sliding glass doors. The air-conditioning blew the scent of refrigeration outtake and fresh bread and globalization into their faces as they grabbed a cart. The tiles and walls were painted with food patterns appropriate to each aisle.

Weiss picked Blake up and deposited her in the front right corner of a shopping cart. It took a little while and Blake flopped her limbs to make it harder for Weiss. Weiss had to push up on her back and manipulate her arms and legs individually to set Blake into the cart.

The cook nervously chuckled at a nearby interracial couple who were staring at them.

Weiss then ran to the back of the cart and pushed it with both hands, grunting occasionally.

Blake righted herself in the cart. They moved past the vegetable aisle; some water spraying machines turned on to mist over the vegetables. Blake narrowed her eyes at the machines, but they didn’t notice.

At the far end of the market was the butcher shop. There was the scent of delicious fresh meat. Tantalizing, mouth-wateringly delicious meats. Blake leaned out over the edge of the cart and caught herself drooling. Blake wiped her mouth.

Then they passed the fish portion.

Blake’s arm darted out to grab a plastic-wrapped cut of swordfish from a refrigerated shelf.

Then she grabbed a trout. And then a rainbow fish. And then a perch and a freshwater salmon and some dolphin, and a mackerel and a cod and some catfish. 

And waaaaay too many different types of tuna. Not literally, though; Blake could handle them all, she just meant there were more varieties of tuna than she'd thought had existed.  She pulled trays and trays of fishies into the cart as Weiss pushed it along the aisle.

Blake closed her eyes and let her mouth curl into a smile as she scooped an armful of fishies and rubbed them across her torso. She sighed in contentment.

The cook gave another nervous chuckle. Blake cracked an eye and saw another interracial couple staring at them.

“Wow Blake, you want all those?” Weiss said. She smiled.

Blake scrunched her mouth and looked to the side.

Weiss also got a jug of goat milk, a jug of soy milk, a jug of rice milk, a jug of almond milk, and an explanation of why ostriches don’t produce milk.

They went to the checkout and Blake, from her perch in the shopping cart, handed the grocer each fishy, one by one, gently brushing her hand along each cut of meat as she passed them along. Blake also, less enthusiastically, handed the milk jugs and spices. 

“And one faunus girl will be 18.99 lien," said the cashier.

Blake nodded. “ _ **bargain.**_ ”

“And we do sell all the garnish you’ll need to cook her."

“We got those,” said the gaunt maid. The maid hauled up a handbasket of cooking oils and flavor additives.

“Garlic butter roasts to bring out the hearty flavor. A side of fava beans, and some nice Chianti." 

“Wait,” said the cashier, gesturing to the wine and to Weiss, “Are you buying that for a minor?”

“uhhh,” said the gaunt maid, “No~.”

“Ok, cool. Underage drinking is a terrible practice,“ the cashier tapped an electronic display of the total price, “Everything looks to be in order, then. Enjoy your meal!”

“Nooo~” Weiss ran up to the shopping cart and tried to hug Blake's head over the side of the cart. “I’m not going to eat Blake!”

“Really?” said the tall maid, “I thought the desire to, aha, _eat_ Blake was the entire reason you got her.”

“Nooooo~” Weiss shook Blake's head. 

"The cook tells me that Blake attempted to eat you when she was hungry," said the gaunt maid, "So the recourse with the highest chance of long-term survival is to eat her first. With a side of fava beans." 

"Nooooooooooo~" Weiss shook Blake's head harder. 

“But doesn’t she just look,” the tall maid grinned evilly and gestured towards Blake, “ _scrumptious?”_

Weiss took a step back. Blake watched Weiss’s mouth drop just a bit as the human girl ran her eyes along all of Blake, from her ears to her stomach to her thighs to her feet and back up again. Blake tried not to blush. 

Weiss closed her mouth and eyes and balled her fists in front of her and shook her head. “Blake’s not for eating.” Weiss stated.

“ _ **Actually, I’m**_ **all** **for** _ **eating.”**_ Blake smirked, slightly.

“Awww,” Weiss rubbed Blake's head. She ran over to the cashier and pulled out a plastic money rectangle. “Blake’s hungies, so lets wrap this up."

 

 

 

 

 

They returned home. It was the first time in a while Blake could describe herself as ‘unable to wait’. Luckily, Weiss was trying to play some hand patting game with her to distract her. 

As soon as the limo docked into the garage, Blake jumped out of the automobile and grabbed the cooler out of the trunk. Blake started hauling it in herself, before members of the staff took it from her.

Blake went to the dining room and gave the appearance of sitting patiently at the table. She could peak into the kitchen, but she could also smell and hear the fishies being prepared. Those senses were more refined.

While the fishies cooked, Weiss poured a glass of four different types of milk out for Blake to try. Blake stuck her tongue out at them and crossed her arms. 

"No, Blake!" Weiss said. "Blake, milk is a part of a complete dinner! And milk's good for lots of reasons! Don't you want strong bones, Blake?"

Blake scrunched her mouth and then sighed. She sampled each type of milk. Blake decided she liked almond milk the best.

 

 

And then thirty minutes after they returned, the first fishy was ready. Blake’s mouth had salivated enough that she had to swallow. 

The cook lay a plate in front of Blake, the rainbow trout, cooked with what smelled like dill and thyme and lemon. Blake immediately grabbed the cut of fish in both her hands and stuffed it into her mouth. She closed her eyes and let the flavors sink into her tongue and around her mouth. Then she gnawed at it furiously.

Almost before she was finished with the first fishy, the cook put another plate of fishy- the cod, this time, with ginger and nutmeg. Blake washed her mouth out with water. 

Blake set down the rainbow trout on a plate that she scotched over to Weiss. Weiss picked at the remains as Blake grabbed the second fishy with both her hands and stuffed it into her mouth. 

Two fishies later, Blake found that she couldn't eat anymore. It was a scary thing to discover about herself. 

"Are you full, Blake? You shouldn't eat if you're full," Weiss said. 

Blake sighed. 

But when Weiss pulled Blake's most recent plate towards herself and started eating the leftovers, Blake's hands reflexively followed the food. 

"Oh? Did you find your appetite?" Weiss said. She cut another a small square of fishy and stabbed it with the fork. "Open wide, Blakey," 

Blake blinked. She shrugged, and opened her mouth. Weiss put the food into Blake's open mouth, onto Blake's tongue. Blake closed her mouth and chewed her food. 

Eventually, Blake was absolutely, completely full. She slid out of her chair and sprawled on the floor and closed her eyes and purred in contentment. 

“Yay!” Weiss said. She started scritching Blake's stomach. “I'm so glad you’re enjoying yourself, Blakey.”

Blake nodded. Perhaps she was.

 

 

 

 

OMAKE: 

 

"Wait," said the cook, looking over the receipt, "Did we actually pay for Blake at the supermarket?"

"See, _this,"_ said the tall maid, "Is precisely why Weiss needs to put 'property of Weiss Schnee' on Blake's collar." 


	10. A Pet Kitty, pt 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One word for you; 
> 
>  
> 
> _Ninjas._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this, plot advancement?

Blake spent the rest of the day laying about. Weiss scratched her head and stomach and played with her ears and nose and Blake was full, so she didn’t have the energy to fight Weiss off even if she wanted to.

 

 

Blake must have drited off to sleep, because she awoke, later in the day; the lights were low, and the bustle of the staff had died down a bit.

Weiss wasn't there. Maybe she was fixing her scar.

Blake caught the whiff of meat and garlic and fava beans and followed the smell, lazily.

It led into the maid’s quarters, and into an old side alcove.

Blake followed her worst judgement into a dark workshop that smelled of linen and sweat.

There was a plate of food, laid out on a desk. Blake might describe it as some of the bloodiest meat she’d ever seen, but that’d be a lie, since Blake had eaten raw meat before. Oh, and there were also carbohydrates and vegetables on the plate.

But, next to the desk, was a sackcloth doll, a perfect facsimile of Blake, except for button eyes; it had flowing black hair and droopy ears and pale whiskers. It even had her exasperated frown. 

“Ah, I see you’ve followed me,” said the guant maid, from behind Blake. Blake flinched.

The maid sat down at the desk and cut a square of bleeding meat off the steak.

"It's not quite as fluffy as you, I'm afraid." 

“And it was a bit of a rush job, you see; I was able to use one of the spares of Weiss’s model. You’re roughly the same size.”

 Blake furtively glanced between the maid and the doll and the meat.

"Oh this?" The maid gestured to the meat, "Don't worry. It's not Faunus meat." 

Blake eyed the door. Nothing reached out and grabbed her when she made a break for it (Blake was genuinely worried), as fast as she could with a full stomach.  

Blake located and approached one of the taller Schnees, to relay her discovery.

“Oh don’t worry about that." Weiss's father swatted the air idly, "There’s life-sized doll replicas of all of us. It’s really handy if we need to fake our own deaths.”

Blake blinked.

Blake shrugged.

And then the younger Schnee located and approached Blake. 

"Blakey I found you!" Weiss hugged Blake's back. She rubbed her cheek against the back of Blake's head. "C'mon, Blake, let's go get ready for bed!"

 

 

 

 

Before bedtime, Blake braced for Weiss to brush her teeth. It was just as horrible as always. Blake smacked her dry, polished, minty-fresh mouth afterwards.

And when it came to bath time, Blake took great delight in seeing Weiss struggle to untie her right shoe. Blake even held her foot out, pretending to be helpful. 

And then, Weiss pulled on the loop of her left shoe, tightening the knot, and then did everything except untie the shoe.

Blake mrawed at Weiss and pulled her foot back. She untied her shoe. 

 

The rest of bathtime went as usual. Blake still hated the soap and the water but it was easier to bear on a full stomach.

 

 

 

And they lay down to bed.

Weiss pulled Blake up to her chest and wrapped her arms around Blake’s neck and back. Weiss closed her eyes and smiled and kicked her legs, slightly, as best she could with Blake flopped over her.

“Oh Blakey,” Weiss said.

Weiss put her hands under Blake’s armpits and held her at arm’s length, above her. Blake invested the energy to keep her neck straight so that she made eye contact with Weiss. Her limbs, however, she let flop wherever.

“Look at how Blakey you are, Blakey!” Weiss exclaimed.

Blake looked down at her stomach.

Weiss pulled Blake back onto her. Blake’s head nestled in the crook of Weiss’s neck. 

“You’re so Blakey, Blakey,” Weiss mumbled blissfully. Her assessment was accurate.

Weiss drifted off to sleep, and Blake did too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blake woke up in the middle of the night. The door opened. Blake didn't quite know which one of those happened first. 

The guant maid was there, holding a finger to thin lips. In one of the maid’s hands was a dim lantern, and in the other was the Blake doll from the workshop.

The maid approached the pair of sleeping girls and pried off Weiss’ arms from Blake. At the maid’s behest, Blake swiatched places with the doll and followed the maid out of the room, through a semi-familiar hallway tinged with long shadows.

They entered a room. The two taller Schnee’s were there, as well as some members of the security force.

“Hello,” nodded the male taller schnee.

Blake blinked.

“So we brought you here,” continued the Schnee, “Because we like to see opportunities where other people might see obstacles."

The other taller Schnee tapped her husband's shoulder. “This is going over its head, pumpkin. Cut to the point.”

The taller Schnee coughed. “Right. So since you’re,” he gestured to Blake, “Already safeguarding our daugher’s emotional health-"

“Pumpkin, that’s not a real thing. It’s just a lie the hippies made up to excuse their laziness."

“But Weiss does certainly seem a lot happier. Nothing _we_ did could cheer her up since she cut her face.”

“She’s been eating better. Less nutritional unbalances." 

The male Schnee coughed. “Right. What I meant to say was,” he gestured to Blake, “Since you’re already safeguarding our daughter’s nutritional health-"

The other taller Schnee nodded reluctantly.

“We wanted to know if you would be willing to safeguard Weiss’s physical well-being as well.“

Blake blinked.

“I don’t think it can talk, dear,” said the other taller Schnee. 

Blake flattened her face and cleared her throat. **“** _ **what would that entail?**_ **”**

Blake tried to hide her joy in seeing the other taller Schnee’s shocked expression.

“You’re already around her all the time, so it shouldn't be too hard to just keep an eye on Weiss, making sure she doesn’t get into undue trouble." The taller schnee continued his spheal.

“We’ll teach you to recognize danger, and teach you to handle the danger you can deal with, and to protect Weiss until help arrives to deal with the danger you can’t deal with."

Blake nodded.

“We can train you in self defense and martial arts and weaponry. Weiss is learning the rapier, but her weapons instructor is familiar with other forms of fighting as well. When our sweetie resumes training, you can start. When she begins spellcasting, if you have the knack, we can enroll you as well."

“And we’ll teach you how to blend into the darkness if need be, to keep her safe, from the shadows."

“ _ **like a ninja**_?”

“There will certainly be similaries to ninjas, yes.” The taller Schnee smiled.

“And speaking of the bushido code,” The taller Schnee pontificated, “- and we don’t want to imply that it’s at all likely, but we want to be upfront about the possibilities-,” The Schnee cleared his throat, “So while we don’t anticipate any life-threating dangers to our daugher, if they come up, we might ask you to give yours."

Blake shrugged.

The taller Schnee turned to his wife. “See? That’s some loyalty, there.”

“More likely that it realizes that if our daughter dies, we have no reason to keep feeding it." The other taller Schnee crossed her arms.

Blake blinked.

“So that’s our offer. No pressure though; you can continue being our daughters, ah...”

“Being Weiss’s ‘Blakey’,” smirked the gaunt maid.

“Yes, continue whatever that is, if you’d like. But consider this our formal offer to train you to be a secret ninja bodyguard…”

Blake blinked.

Then Blake smirked. “ _ **cool. i'm in.**_ ”

 

 


	11. A Pet Kitty, pt 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thing about pillow castles is, they're not very structurally sound. Thier fourth walls in particular seem to break easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little harder to write for some reason. Next four should go up rather quickly.

Blake snuck back into the bedroom without waking Weiss. The gaunt maid brought a lantern, though Blake could see in the dark. 

Weiss looked troubled as she slept. 

"Blakey...~" Weiss mumbled as she squeezed the Blake doll, "You're less fluffy now......It's okay, I'll help you find your fluff....~" 

The maid undid Weiss's grip and pulled the doll away. Blake wriggled into Weiss's arms. 

Weiss's slight frown turned into a slight smile. It infected Blake's mouth. 

Blake rubbed her head under Weiss's chin and drifted off to sleep.

 

 

 

 

Blake awoke again. Since she was facing Weiss, all she could stare at was Weiss's smooth, perfect neck. Idly, Blake recalled how Weiss's neck had tasted, when Weiss put it in Blake's mouth last Wednesday. 

Weiss's eye fluttered open and she gave Blake a squeeze.

"Blakey!" Weiss said. She rubbed her nose on Blake's forehead.

 Weiss sat up, pulling Blake up with her. She rocked the pair of them from side to side. "Blakey is a Blakey, she's the Blakyest Blakey~" 

Weiss leaned back and put her hands on Blake's shoulders. "The bestest Blake is the Blakest Blake, and that's the Blake for me!"  

Weiss hugged Blake. 

Blake blinked.

"C'mon! Let's get you an omelette."

Blake nodded. She let Weiss carry her to breakfast.

 

 

When the cook asked Blake what she wanted on her omelette, Blake pointed at all the meat, though the cook convinced Blake to get some vegetables. She split it with Weiss at the table, but Blake chewed off the meatier sections.

 

 

 

 

After breakfast, Weiss pulled Blake by the hand into a large, empty room, smelling of disinfectant and cotton. There were groups of maids examining blueprints. 

"Since you broke us out of snuggle prison before we got to snuggle, we're going to have to do it over again."

Blake frowned. 

 Weiss patted Blake's head. "It's okay, though. I'll be the one in the prison and you can be the one to save me, like you did before!" 

Blake then noticed the pile of pillows.

"So I will be the," Weiss touched her medical eyepatch, "the monster princess, cursed with a curse of uglyness." Weiss waved her arms theatrically and turned to Blake, eye expectant. "It's a curse, but perhaps it's a blessing in disguise!?"

Blake provided no answer.

Weiss refreshed her smile. "And you can be the dashing prince who has to save me." Weiss said, "We'll have an antagonistic relationship at first, but eventually we will discover we have a lot in common, and shared experiences will bind us together." 

Blake blinked again. 

The stocky maid approached with a pile of lace and satin. Weiss picked up the pile and went to the bathroom. 

Meanwhile, a crowd of maids appeared around Blake. Blake brought her arms up, but her ninja defense skills weren't too developed yet, so she was unsuccessful in preventing herself from getting dressed in poofy pants and some sort of vest and a hat with a feather on it. 

Weiss returned dressed in a flowing, foot length white dress with a tan bodice and a lot of bows. Her hair was down in flowing braids. Weiss smiled when she saw Blake.

"Blakey! You're so cute!" Weiss ran up and hugged Blake. Weiss grabbed Blake's forearms. "And thus began the many, extraordinary adventures of," Weiss waved Blake's arms in the air, "The Paw Prince!" 

Blake's mouth flattened. " ** _i have hands._** " 

"It's a metaphor!" Weiss said. She giggled.  

The stocky maid caught up to Weiss and continued putting makeup on Weiss's face. "For how no matter what Blake does, nobody will see beyond her race?"

Weiss winked. Then she hugged Blake's head and jumped, slightly. "No, for how cute and fluffy she is!"

Weiss released the hug but left her hands on Blake's shoulders. "Okay, Blake, I'm going to the tower now, so don't take too long! I'll miss you." 

Weiss reached down to Blake's hands and gave them a squeeze. Then she departed.

Blake was escorted to the base of the castle, in front of a pillow portcullis.  

"'ear ye, 'ear ye!" called out the young maid from the pillow parapets, "Our right magic princess, whom we done love an' fear, 'as been transmogrified sometin' fierce, she 'as! Frightful of 'er own visage, dear Weiss 'as locked 'erself inna tower, Fer to remain fer tha forseeable fewtcha."

Blake blinked. 

The stocky maid appeared besides her. 

"You have to say, 'Oh woe, a princess in need? 'tis a travesty I cannot stand to see! I shall investigate immediately!'." 

Blake stared at the maid. 

Blake then looked over the tower. She could probably just climb the outside. It was what a real ninja would do. 

So Blake did so. Weiss was waiting for her at the window. Blake squeezed through the bars into a nice looking room, with a pillow dresser and a pillow desk and a pillow bed with pillow pillows and pillow blankets.

"Blake!" Weiss said. She put her fists on her hips. "You can't just skip to the end! You have to have the build up and the side-quests and all the fun little parts that don't matter in the grand scheme of things but are still fun! It's about the journey, Blake!" 

Blake blinked. **_"don't you want a rescue?"_**

"Not if it's not done  _right."_ Weiss pouted. Then she walked forward and turned Blake around and she pushed Blake by the shoulders back to the window.

Blake flopped onto the ground. 

"Blake!" Weiss reached around Blake's stomach to pull her upright. 

 "Ugh, fine _you_ can be the princess. They can get away with doing a lot less."

Weiss fiddled with the back of her bodice. Her dress loosened, and then, In one motion, she pulled her elegant satin princess dress off over her head. 

Weiss's body was blindingly pale. Blake had to shield her eyes.

Then Weiss pulled Blake's hat off her head and put it on herself. She pulled Blake's vest over her head, and then in one motion put the princess dress onto Blake. Blake imagined she heard a 'whump' sound.

Weiss then tied up Blake's bodice. Weiss put the hat onto Blake as she wormed into the vest, and then she retrieved the hat and undid her hair and tucked her hair away under the hat. Then she flipped Blake onto her back so she cold pull off the poofy pants. Weiss jumped into the pants, both legs at a time.

"Can we get makeup up here?" Weiss called out the window.

 There was the squish-squish of someone running up the pillow staircase. The stocky maid appeared, carrying a black box.  

The maid pulled some beauty tools out and fixed Weiss's hair and removed some of the colors on Weiss's face. 

"So you're the prince now?" asked the stocky maid. 

"Ummmm," Weiss touched her eyepatch. "Maybe I can be the pirate Prince." Weiss made a silly face. "Argh avast and all that jazz!" 

Weiss then grabbed Blake, holding the Faunus out to the maid. "But Blake's going to be the kitty princess. She's already so beautiful, but do your best!" 

Blake forgot to blink.

The stocky maid then doodled Blake's face with some brushes and powders. After a while, the maid leaned back and looked to Blake. 

"Only one more ingredient," the maid turned Blake to Weiss.  "What do you think, m'lad- my captain?" 

Weiss's face lit up and she looked like she floated. She clutched her face. "Blakey! You're even more of a cutie!"

Blake stifled a blush. 

The stocky maid pulled out a hand mirror. "There it is."

Blake looked in the mirror-

And she froze in disbelief. Her cheeks were tinted in the perfect blush- that was just the make-up, Blake concluded- and her eyes weren't sullen anymore, they looked big and cute and curious- and her mouth was opened slightly in an adorable little 'o'. 

Black grabbed opposite sides of the mirror and pulled it closer, moving it and tilting it to examine her new face. 

"Wait," Weiss said, "do cats pass the mirror self-recognition test?"

Blake glared at Weiss.

"Aww, and there it goes." The stocky maid pulled back the mirror.

Weiss gave Blake one last hug before she bid Blake farewell and left. 

Blake then reach for the mirror again. 

The stocky maid made an uncertain expression and withheld the mirror. "It's not complete without the feeling of being desired, so perhaps you can recall Weiss's second to last words back then?" 

Blake scrunched her mouth to the side. 

"Good enough." The maid shrugged and handed Blake the mirror. Blake gazed at her new visage.

"And if I am to be honest, my new princess-" The stocky maid smiled, "Weiss always had an unshakable disquiet during her previous princess games. Maybe the ingredients to make her a princess never came together. Or maybe she was never meant to be a princess in this world. But she seems a lot happier as a pirate, so you've done a lot of good, so far." 

Blake blinked. 

"And I suppose you're going to be one of the more passive princesses? Only showing up at the end screen to congradulate the hero?" 

Blake blinked, a little more wryly this time. She rolled around on the floor. The maid chuckled. "I guess that works."

 

 

From outside the pillow castle, Blake heard Grand Pirate Weiss announce her arrival. Blake was escorted to the pillow foyer, where a few of the life-sized dolls were dressed as butlers, serving pillow appetizers. Blake plucked a bowl of pillow caviar and chewed on it. It didn't taste as good as real caviar. 

Grand Pirate Weiss entered the foyer. "Arrrg!" Weiss hefted a pillow prosthetic, "I hear there is a princess in this castle! I express my desire to be friends, and perhaps snuggle!" 

Blake shrugged. She walked forward to the pirate. 

Weiss broke character. "No, Blake! You can't like me right off the bat! We have to start as adversaries and grow to like each other! That's the whole appeal, you know! We need conflict!" 

Blake's mouth flattened. She flopped backwards and continued chewing on the pillow caviar. 

"Ugh," Weiss then refreshed her acting, "Very well. I shall return at a more fortuitous time." 

Grand Pirate Weiss bowed and left. Blake returned to her tower. 

 

 

 

 

They went through three cycles of acting out stupid scenes; Grand Pirate Weiss would attack the town and Princess Blake would have to protect the pillow townspeople, or Grand Pirate Weiss would show up to protect the town from giant pillow kraken-grimm but then demand an obnoxious reward from Princess Blake, or Grand Pirate Weiss would show up to sell pillow fish at exorbitantly high prices until Blake could negotiate them down to reasonable levels.

And then, the maids closed the curtains and propped up a pillow moon and Grand Pirate Weiss led Princess Blake in a pillowlight waltz on the pillow balcony. It turned out that Princess Blake, like regular Blake, didn't know how to dance either. So much for the power of acting.

And then, once the maids had finished their musical accompaniment and Weiss was finished twirling Blake around, Grand Pirate Weiss held out her hand. "So how about it, Princess?" Weiss inhaled. "Do you think we can be friends, and perhaps snuggle, now?" 

Blake blinked.

Then she shook her head. 

"But- Princess!" Grand pirate Weiss pouted, "After everything we've been through? Why not?"

Blake looked Weiss straight in the eye.

" _ **ninjas**_ **hate** _ **pirates.**_ " 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not a badly written fairy-tale, it's a _satire_ of a badly written fairy-tale. Yep.


	12. A Pet Kitty, pt 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blake and Weiss have a fight.

“Wait, Blake,” Weiss tilted her head to the side. “You’re a ninja?"

Blake froze. That's right, she was supposed to be a _secret_ ninja bodyguard-

Well, the 'bodyguard' part was supposed to be secret. The ninja part, though, she probably couldn’t hide. And she didn’t really want to hide the ninja part. Which, Blake later realized, may have been contrary to the ninja code. 

“ _ **yes.**_ ” Blake waved her arms in the air. " _ **an agent of darkness and death.**_ " 

“Oh Blakey, that’s so cool!”

Blake smiled at the compliment before she caught herself.

Weiss waved away the extras and lead Blake off the pillow set. The pillow skybox was dissassembled, the curtains were pulled back (Blake looked back at a freshly revealed clock and saw that the whole ordeal had only taken a little more than an hour.), and Blake blinked in the natural sunlight through the wide, immaculate windows. The stocky maid appeared besides them to remove their make-up, and then a group of maids swarmed them both, replacing their costumes with their pajamas.  

Weiss took Blake by the hand and led her into the halls. 

"I guess we don't know each other as well as I thought," Weiss said. She pouted and hugged Blake. "That's okay. We'll have plenty of time to get to know each other. Like, did you know that my favorite color is black? I'm not allowed to wear it very much, though." 

Weiss released Blake and continued telling the Faunus random facts about herself as she led Blake through a portion of the mansion Blake had never seen before. Though, to be fair, there was a lot of the mansion Blake had never seen before. Maybe they could explore it more, at some point.

 

 

Blake looked around the sparring hall. It was large and circular- with a half-circle of bleachers around a sparring arena- and it was well-lit and smelled of sweat and rubber and competition. It had a soft matted floor, with a texture that Blake enjoyed walking on barefoot. There were various machines all around the edges. Blake looked at them, and they stared, unflinching, back at her, offering no suggestion of what their purpose was. There were some target dummies, made mostly of plastic porcelain but soft in the right spots, with rudimentary faces and outstretched limbs.

Weiss fiddled with a control panel and several training dummies were placed around the mat. 

"Oh, I forgot to ask if you actually want to demonstrate your ninjaness, Blakey," Weiss brought her hands to her mouth. She ran back to the control panel. "It's okay if you want to keep your air of mystery."

Blake weighed her options.

Blake stalked up to a training dummy and then ninja punched it.

"Woah!" Weiss applauded from the bleachers. 

Blake then approached another training dummy. It didn't seem to react to her, but Blake feinted to the right and then jumped straight at it with a ninja kick. 

"Wow! So cool!" Weiss said.

Blake pondered the next ninja move she should demonstrate to Weiss. 

Then, Blake realized she'd probably look even cooler if she was in her tracksuit, so she ran back to get changed into it. Pulling off her pajamas turned out to be harder than Weiss made it look, but maybe it was just easier to remove other people's clothes. Blake fell on the floor when she got tangled in her own pants, and she was glad that Weiss wasn't there to see that, and she vowed to get faster at changing clothes. Blake eschewed the shoes, though, because she liked how the training mat felt.

Blake decided to take a look at herself in front of the mirror, another time. She looked a little healthier, but that wasn't what she was worried about, now. She made a ninja pose, and decided she looked suitably ninja-y, considering she'd only been one for about twelve hours.    

Blake returned, and Weiss remarked favorably on her change of attire. Blake pulled three training dummies in a circle, and then snuck into the middle of them and ninja jumped and ninja spun and ninja whirlwind attacked, knocking all three down at the same time. Or, at least, that was the intention; one of the three was particularly upstanding, so Blake had to push it down after she landed. 

"Yay! Go Blake!" 

Weiss then made Blake aware of the stockpile of sparring weapons. Blake perused the ninjas swords and ninja throwing objects and ninja farming implements.

Blake procured a nunchaku. She knew that the rookie mistake was to flail it around haphazardly until you knocked yourself in the head with it, but Blake knew they were used for like disarming people or something. Blake tried to use it to rip off a training dummy's arm, but it didn't work. Blake re-evaluated her opinion of nunchaku. She opted to whack the training dummy a few times, until it fell over. 

"Heehee, that dummy didn't know what hit it!" Weiss exclaimed. 

Blake then went through some more ancient and noble ninja moves that she definitely didn't just make up on the spot, and Weiss was enthralled with each one of them. 

At some point, some of the maids showed up. Blake gave a brief intermission on her ninja moves to negotiate temporary use of the Blake doll from the gaunt maid. Blake hid the life-size cloth doll behind her as she set one of the training dummies to spin, and before its arm could hit Blake, Blake ducked and spun and, magically, in the place Blake used to be was only a life-sized plush toy, because Blake had used the ninja substitution technique to replace herself with the doll. Blake rolled on the floor out of the way as the Blake doll slumped over the training dummy's arm. 

Eventually, Blake stood in the middle of the training mats, bent over slightly, panting.

Then there was applause, and not just from Weiss.

Blake stood up straight and then bowed. The applause grew louder. 

And somehow, in the brief moment when Blake's head was down, Weiss had ran over, fast enough to almost knock Blake off her feet when Weiss tackle-hugged her. "Oh Blakey, you're the cutest, snuggliest ninja kitty ever!" 

Weiss rubbed her cheek on the side of Blake's head. Blake blinked.

"M'lady," said the stocky maid, "You yourself are proficient in swordplay, are you not?" 

"She’s right brilliant at it, she is.”

There were murmurs of agreement from the staff.

"I-" Weiss did that subconscious touch of her medical eye-patch again, "I guess I'm okay at it." 

Blake blinked. She wondered how right brilliant at swordplay you had to be to cut your own face during training. Especially the side of your face that's the same as your dominant hand.

But all the same, Blake pushed a training dummy in front of Weiss. Weiss looked it over, and then giggled, and then bopped it with her hand.

The stocky maid pulled a training rapier out of the weapons rack and presented it to Weiss.

Weiss looked, nervously, between the sword and the audience and finally to Blake.

Blake blinked.

“Okay, Blake, I guess I can sword-fight a little, as long as you've got my back?"

Blake blinked. 

Weiss took the sword. Weiss approached the training dummy. She looked it over, and then giggled, and then bopped it on the head with her sword.

And together, Blake and Weiss knocked over wave after wave of training dummies. Weiss was laughing by the time they finished.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then the door to the arena opened, and then everyone went silent.

“Weiss, sweetie,” said the other taller Schnee. She smiled. “I see you’re sparring again. That’s wonderful.”

“A-actually,” Weiss said. She stood up straight and held her arms straight by her side. “I was just playing with Blake.”

The other taller Schnee’s expression flattened and she looked to Blake. Blake looked back.

“Well, that’s still wonderful,” said the other taller Schnee. She refreshed her smile and pontificated. “And I don’t know how much your little pet tells you,” The other taller Schnee pursed her lips, “But we're going to start training it in combat, starting tomorrow.”

"You are?" Weiss looked to Blake. "That's so great!"

"The weapons instructor will start training it during your usual training time, so if you'd like to end your own training hiatus tomorrow, we can arrange that. You can train together. I understand if you want to rest longer, however.”

“I – maybe I can just watch, tomorrow?” Weiss said.

The other taller Schnee smiled. “Of course.” She turned to Blake. “So why don’t you and – Blake, yes?- spar with each other? Show it what you can do?”

"I- I don't know....”

“I’m sure you’re careful enough not to hurt your little pet. Everyone makes mistakes."

Weiss's arm and half her face twitched, like she was trying not to move them. 

“I-,” Weiss turned to Blake. “If you want me to, I can show you how to sword, if you want, Blake. Only if you want, though."

Blake blinked.

The other taller Schnee cleared her throat. “It would be a good opportunity to teach Blake here via demonstration."

Weiss brightened at that. “Okay, yeah!” Weiss turned to Blake. “Does that sound good, Blakey?”

Blake blinked. Besides her, the stocky maid was presenting another plastic sword. Blake picked it up.

It was blunt, it smelled of petrochemicals and playfullness, but it had the weight of a sword.

Weiss smiled and fell into a sword-fighting stance; her left side facing Blake, her left foot forward, her center of gravity lowered, her right hand in the air. It was probably the formal stance for swordfighting.

Blake shrugged. She brought her sword up, crouched over, both hands in front of her. She figured she’d go easy on Weiss so not to embarrass her, especially since her mother was watching.

And then they sparred-

And there was a blur, and a clang, and the sword flew out of Blake's hand. Blake's arm felt sore.

"You did very well for your first time, Blake!" Weiss said. 

Blake blinked. 

Blake ran over to retrieve the sword.

Blake approached Weiss again. This time, Blake shifted her stance; lower, more flightly, more responsive. She ignored the impulse to slash at Weiss's sword this time and instead went for a torso hit.

And there was a blur, and a clang, and the sword flew out of Blake's hand. Blake's arm felt sore again.

"You're getting better, Blake!" Weiss said.

Blake's mouth snarled. She retrieved her sword a second time, and then lunged. She went all out, using every trick she knew-

And there was a blur, and a clang, and the sword flew out of Blake's hand. Blake's arm felt  _really_ sore.

Blake stared at where the sword landed, and at her hand, and then at Weiss.

“ _ **you’re,**_ ” Blake parsed, _**“actually competent at something.”**_

Weiss clutched her cheeks, still holding her rapier. “Awww, thanks, Blake!”

Blake then recalled her demonstration of fake martial arts moves. Weiss probably knew enough about combat to know they were fake. And she congradulated Blake anyway. Blake blushed and had the urge to hide her face.

“She’s also good at singing,” said the stocky maid.

“’n songwritin’, ‘n dance choreomogramaphy.” said the young maid.

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” said the tall maid.

Weiss blushed a little harder. “Actually, I have a lot of help for those, but thanks!"

Weiss and the maids talked more about musical theater. In the corner of her eye, Blake caught the other taller Schnee frowning, but when Blake turned to look, the Schnee’s face was neutral.

Then Weiss hugged Blake. The crowd dispersed to do what they were supposed to be doing, and Weiss pulled Blake along to do whatever they were supposed to be doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops! forgot to put any puns in this one. 
> 
> Also, this chapter exists to fill in a plot hole. I moved the original fluff chapter to use as filler at some point. The last three chapters of this arc should be up sometime this week, and then we can start with the time-skips, and more fluff.


	13. A Pet Kitty, pt 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weiss gets some character development.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't try this at home. I mean, I hope that's obvious, and made clear in the text, and if you managed to kidnap someone into your family you've got some other issues, but I still feel the need to put this disclaimer.

Weiss rubbed her nose in the back of Blake's hair and inhaled as she nuzzled the back of Blake's head. 

Weiss pulled back and turned Blake towards her. "What do you want to do now, Blake?

Blake looked at her stomach.

Weiss giggled and rubbed Blake's nose. "Dinner's not for a while, silly."

Blake pouted. 

Weiss's mouth wobbled. "Um, I guess I can see if I can get you some food." 

 

 

It turned out that Weiss wanted to personally cook Blake the food she was going to get her. It brought them into the kitchen, a workshop of porcelain and aluminum, smelling of soap and the  fading ghosts of washed away food. The cook was cleaning knives, and the gaunt maids were mopping the floors. 

"I want to cook some food for Blake!" Weiss said. She held out Blake, perhaps just in case anybody forgot who Blake was. 

The cook smiled an excited smile. "That's great, Weiss! No Schnee has ever learned to cook before." Blake thought it was joke, but then she realized there was a good chance it was literally true. 

"Sweet! Blake wants a basil-roasted swordfish cioppino with zesty scallops and a side of fun!" 

"Ah, that reminds me," the cook fidgeted nervously, "Your parents gave us strict instructions as to your kitchen safety. You are not to use a knife until you're older."

"But I can use a sword, and swords are more dangerous." Weiss pouted. "I even started it up again, despite," she then touched her medical eyepatch, "You know."

The gaunt maid turned to the cook. "Perhaps if she carved all the meat with her rapier? It would only violate the spirit of prohibition."

"But the missus's cuttin' tha  _swordfish_. Innae dat allowed, seein' they's be ina same 'en'ral family o' piercin' implements?"

"Ummm," the cook said, "I don't think it works like that."

Weiss hugged Blake and pouted. "Blakey's getting hungrier. Pretty soon I need some food I can cook her."  

"Did you say," the gaunt maid flashed a wicked grin, "you needed something to _cook_ her-

"Not what I meant." Weiss waved the air and pouted. "I mean what kind of food am I allowed to make?" 

 

 

 

 

"Makin' Pancakes, makin' Blakey pancakes!" Weiss sang. She had since donned a chef outfit, complete with muffin-shaped hat, and she was currently mixing a large aluminum bowl of pancake batter. Bits of viscous white flour-based goo splattered everywhere. "Blake is hungies so I'm makin' Blakey pancakes~" 

Weiss poured the mixture into a skillet, which immediately started smoking and making hissing noises. Blake resisted the urge to hiss back; she couldn't ever win a hissing contest with the cooking machines. 

"Blakey pancaaaaakkkes!" Weiss flipped a finished 

Blake picked up her Blakey Pancake (tm) with both hands and bit into it. 

It tasted like fish. Blake's eyes widened in surprise, and she stuffed the whole meal disk into her mouth and chewed.

"Do you like it, Blakey?" Weiss said. "I mixed in some fish oil so it would taste like fish!"

Blake nodded between gulps and beckoned for more Blakey pancakes. 

Weiss only made three, and Blake allowed the human girl to take a wedge of pancake from one of them. 

Blake finished, and she was still a little hungry.

And then Blake noticed that Weiss had a bit of the batter on the lower half of her left cheek. Blake moved to lick it off Weiss's face.

"Ah!" Weiss pulled back, but Blake jumped on top of her. "Blake nooo!" Weiss yelled in terror, or perhaps delight. 

 

 

 

Eventually Weiss brought them back to her room. It was the time in which she usually fixed her face. But instead she got a head start on snuggling Blake, pulling them both to the bed.  

"Mmmmm," Weiss said. She rubbed her cheek and her nose and most of her head really on the back of Blake's head, nuzzling like she hadn't nuzzled before.

"Oh Blakey," Weiss said, "Blakey Blakey Blake."

"I think the maid was right," Weiss mumbled blissfully, "You just look so scrumptious."

Weiss nuzzled Blake’s head some more.

"I could just eat you right up, Blakey."

Blake, for some reason, assumed Weiss was using an idiom, up until she felt something damp close around her left ear.

Blake mrawed and flinched and tried to push Weiss off her.

Weiss's arms clamped around Blake’s waist. “No Blake-”

Blake pushed down on Weiss's face and managed to escape. She ran to the door.

“No, Blake, come back,” Weiss reached out. “You’re _my_ kitty and you live in _my_ house and I want to eat your ears!”

Luckily, Weiss's door didn't have the ability to lock, so Blake escaped the room easily. She bolted down the halls, towards the half of the mansion she was familiar with.

"Noooo Blake come back!" Weiss whined from behind her. 

Blake ducked to her right. It was the kitchen. 

Black climbed on bags of grains and cans and spices.

"Blake," Weiss whined from below, "Blakey, come down-"

Blake ducked deeper amoung the food. Blake heard some people follow Weiss into the pantry. From the sound and the smell, it was the stocky maid and the tall maid.

Weiss explained what happened. The tall maid started laughing and didn't stop laughing. Ever.

"My lady," chided the stocky maid, "You shouldn't intimately touch Blake's sensitive parts without her specific permission." 

"But Blake didn't object-"

"That doesn't matter. Unless she explicitly agreed to the act, it's not okay to do it."

"But we snuggle all the time-"

"That doesn't imply Blake is comfortable with all forms of intimacy, at all times."

"O-okay. I understand."

"Also, it was wrong of you to hold over Blake's head that you've given her a place to live. You shouldn't do nice things for people because you expect something in return."

"Especially if you're expecting to, aha," the tall maid chortled, _"eat,_  someone's parts, aha." The tall maid resumed snickering uncontrollably.

Weiss got more of a lecture.

"Blake," Weiss eventually called up to the food and to Blake, "I'm really sorry I tried to eat your ears. And you'll always get to live here, no matter what. Please come down; I promise I won't try to eat any of your parts."

Blake crawled out enough to peek her head down. Weiss had the saddest face. The stocky maid was smiling encouragingly, and the tall maid was amiss with uncontained snickers.

Blake ninja parkoured down. She only messed up a little, like four or five or seven times.

When Blake hit the ground, Weiss ran up to Blake and hugged her, around the neck. "Blaaaakke~" Weiss said. A tear fell on Blake's skin.

Blake blinked. 

Blake cleared her throat.

" _ **if you really want to,** _ " Blake said. Her ears tilted forward, and she bowed a little. " ** _i guess you can have a little nibble_**."

Weiss's face wobbled into something resembling a smile. She ran her hands through Blake's hair and leaned forward. Blake's ears twitched upon contact with Weiss's breath, and Blake tensed when Weiss wrapped her lips around Blake's ear.

"Pfff pfff," Weiss pulled back and rubbed her mouth. "Gross, I got some hair in my teeth. You're _too fluffy,_ Blake."

Blake's expression flattened.

 


	14. A Pet Kitty, pt 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: So, fun fact, this chapter was written on my phone while waiting in lines at a con. Thus, originally, there were many, many typos and omissions that led to plot holes. They should be fixed now. Notable omissions included:  
> \- Blake was supposed to be spying on Weiss's private talk with her parents; that's how Blake knew what was going on.  
> \- Weiss was to protest that she only messed up once, and her mother tells her that sometimes you don't get a second chance.  
> \- Mum Schnee was supposed to tell Blake that Weiss broke the law, and that was why she was concerned about Blake.

After what would be known as 'The Ears Incident,' Blake noticed a few things. Over the next few days, some of the younger and/or more vulnerable looking maids would be teased by some of the older and/or more aggressive maids; 'Watch out,' the older maids would say, 'Young mistress Weiss has a fondness of ears; if you give her the chance, she'll gobble yours right up', and then the younger maids would clutch their headdresses and yell, 'nooooooo~'. Blake could already tell some of the maids were Faunus by their smell, but these teasing confirmed many of her assumptions about which maids were (secretly?) Faunus. 

Over the next few months, Mr. and Mrs. Schnee would bring up the incident when they wanted to manipulate and/or embarrass their daughter. 

And in the potential futures where Weiss ran for public office, when the incident was uncovered by her political opponent,  Weiss had to hold many, many press conferences where she explained that she'd never eat a Faunus's ears for real, that she didn't have a Faunus Ear Fetish (not that there was anything wrong with that), that said fetish was in no way motivated by subconscious bias about the role of Faunus in society, that she was fully aware of and a complete advocate of consent and boundaries and that she would never, ever put a Faunus's ear in her mouth without the Faunus's explicit consent, and also that she wasn't gay, and, on an unrelated note, people should just pay no attention to the Faunus ninja who always seemed to be around her. 

But within an hour after The Ears Incident, the adult Schnees summoned Weiss into an office, with a point that Blake was _not_ to accompany her. The tone was not friendly. Blake spied on them.

"If I had known  _that_ was what you wanted your own Faunus for, I would have had the maids make you a doll," said the other taller Schnee. "Sentient beings have rights and, more importantly, civil liberties unions." She rubed her brow. "Why didn't you just ask for a doll?" 

Weiss's voice was meek and desperate and pleading. "It's not-"

"We are not  _that_ kind of rich people, Weiss _sweetie._ Do you understand?" said the other taller Schnee, as harshly as Blake had ever heard her. "We do not bring people or Faunus into our house to- to  _molest_ them. We do not." 

"But I-"

"The damage has already been done, but it will not happen again. Do I make that clear?"

"I- yes, mother-" 

The other taller Schnee relaxed, slightly. She swirled her wineglass. "Your little pet probably hates you forever now," continued Weiss's mother. " _Forever._ " 

And here Weiss's voice was soft and low and broken. "Wha- but- it was only one little mistake-"

"Let that be a lesson to you, then," said the other taller Schnee, and she sounded a little more forlorn this time. "Sometimes you don't get a second chance."

"You will report yourself to the isolation room and reflect upon what you've done. You will not have supper tonight."

"I- okay," Weiss said. 

Weiss walked out of the room. Her shoulders were slumped. She was crying. 

Blake snuck out of her hiding spot and approached-

And one of the maids- the gaunt one- put a hand on Blake's shoulder. The maid shook a solemn head and led Blake into the room Weiss had just left. 

 

It was a study, there were some decorative plants and the walls were lined with bookshelves and end tables, and there was a large desk, with the taller Schnees sitting behind it. Blake was escorted to a curving laqured chair that smelled like must and admonishment. Blake took a seat.

The elder Schnees looked at her from across the desk. Several other members of the staff stood stock still on either side of them.

The other taller Schnee- the female one- looked Blake in the eyes. She was very serious. "If at this juncture you wish to leave, we can expedite your entrance into the foster care system and grant you a rather generous stipend for the rest of your life."  

Blake blinked. 

The other taller Schnee pulled out a stack of papers and started thumbing through it. "You would just need to sign- here- " The Schnee pointed to a line at the bottom of the fourth page, "As well as -here- and initial -here--"

 _ **"actually,"**_ Blake stated, " _ **i'd like to stay."**_  

The taller Schnee, the male one, smiled. He leaned back in his chair. 

The other taller Schnee blinked. "Perhaps the situation is not clear to you. Weiss has done something wrong, to you. She has infringed upon your..." The Schnee pontificated.

Blake pursed her lips. " _ **personhood?"**_  

"Sure." The human sighed. "Whatever you want to call it. But regardless of the moral infringement- which there is one, don't think I don't understand that- what she did was illegal. Yes. For that you have.... my...."

The woman coughed once and stared at the wall. "Apologies. My sincerest apologies." The Schnee put a hand to her sternum. "Weiss is still young, you understand. She will make mistakes. It's my- our-" She looked to her husband, "Our job to ensure that her mistakes aren't severe enough to ruin her life."

"This one may be," The other taller Schnee tapped the papers, "Which is why we are taking as many precautions as possible to ensure it won't happen again. But it doesn't change the fact that it happened."

Blake ignored the papers. She stared at the human.

"You would stay with our daughter? Sleep in the same room? After what she's done?" 

Blake blinked.  _**"perhaps forgiveness is more common among Faunus."** _

"Ahahaha." The Schnee laughed. "Send me a meow when that's a fungible commodity." 

Blake blinked. 

The taller Schnee turned to his wife. "Blake can still be Weiss's bodyguard and, ah, nutritional safeguard. If Weiss learns to comport herself, I see no reason Blake can't stay."

"Very well," The other taller Schnee pushed the stack of papers aside. "We'll draft up a nondisclosure agreement. Just a precaution, you underst- you don't need to understand, but you will need to agree never to speak of this again, in writing." 

Blake glanced between the other members of the staff in the room. 

"They are already sworn to secrecy. Such a thing occurs relatively often. It doesn't negatively affect them." 

The gaunt maid coughed. 

Blake nodded in aquiescence. 

The taller Schnees smiled. "Good," said mum Schnee, "And if there's anything we or our staff can do for you right now, to help you forget this whole ordeal, we can accommodate."

Blake pondered. 

 

 

 

The first thing Blake wanted was obvious. Blake approached the cook and asked for more cooked fishies, as well as some bacon and some eggs and some steaks. The cook brought out the fishies they had bought yesterday and pulled out a freshly slaughtered pig, which some of the maids carved strips off of, and pulled some steaks out of the freezer.

Blake gorged herself. She tried to convince herself that it was a more enjoyable meal without the prescence of someone who kept trying to steal her meat or feed her vegetables or get into food fights with her. She could not.

 

 

Blake then borrowed a pair of infrared goggles from one of the more extreme security guards, as well as a map of the mansion from one of the more practical security guards. She spent the afternoon mapping out the warmest places in the building. The southeast tower had thin walls and was directly hit by sunlight for most of the day, so it got pretty warm. Blake took a short nap in its topmost room. The only problem was that the windows also let in the sunlight, which, while warm, was sometimes too bright. Then there was the boiler room, which got pretty warm, as that was where they boiled the water for the mansion, but it also had some sort of ventilation ducts that brought in cooler air from somewhere.   

The real jackpot, however, was in the closet on the far wall behind the kitchen- a relatively central room, and one that Blake seemed to usually be in close proximity to. It was where the heat outtake to all the freezers ended up. Blake took a short, contented nap in that room, sprawled under the warmth.

 

And then it was late. One of the maids woke Blake and escorted her to a hallway Blake had never seen before.

Weiss was there, wiping her face on her sleeve. She looked forlorn, and her medical eyepatch was damp. She slumped as she walked along the corridor, ahead of where Blake was brought. Blake coughed to get her attention.

"Blakey!" Weiss turned and ran up to Blake and, pointedly, did not hug Blake. She kneeled at Blake's feet.

Blake blinked.

"Blakey I'm sorry-"

Blake put a finger to Weiss's lips. Weiss looked at her with curiosity. 

Blake pulled out a bunched up portion of her dress, where grease had already begun to travel up the threads. She extracted a strip of bacon. 

Weiss winked.

Blake put her thumb on Weiss's chin and opened the human girl's mouth. She placed the bacon on Weiss's tongue.

Weiss closed her mouth around the piece of bacon. She closed her eyes as she chewed. After Weiss swallowed, she hugged Blake's legs. Her eye was freshly moist.

"Blakey I'm so, so, sorry, please don't hate me forever-"

Blake blinked. 

"Please stay, Blake. Please please please. Anything you want, Blake, I'll do anything to make this right."

Blake blinked again.

_**"anything?"** _


	15. A pet Kitty, Finale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If, at the beginning, you saw the 'master/pet' tag and thought it meant 'pet play', and continued reading this anyway when it turned out to be only literally correct, this chapter is for you. 
> 
> If you're here for fluff and/or social satire, apologies for this chapter, and the next one will be up in the next day or so. In the mean time, feel free to interpret this chapter as a commentary on the cycle of oppression; to paraphrase Paulo Freire, most discontents in an oppressive system only see a goal in which they work themselves up to the oppressor caste and have their own underlings, thus perpetuating an opressive sectarian order. Only when the oppressors and oppressed awaken in a critical consciousness and recognize they both are chained to the system, can they work towards justice. 
> 
> I mean, that's not what this chapter is about, but feel free to tell yourself that's why you're reading this.

Blake escorted Weiss to their room. She closed the curtains, not so much that the room was dark, but enough to give a semblance of privacy and intimacy. 

Blake led Weiss to the bed and bid her to wait for a moment. Blake ran out the door. 

Blake found the Schnee family Optics Engineer talking to the family Vet. Afterwards, she snuck into the gaunt maid's dollshop, and after that, Blake ducked outside, real quick. 

 

 

Blake returned to the bedroom with her procured items. She shut the door and pulled a chair out, to catch under the door handle. 

"ummmm," Weiss asked. 

Blake dug through Weiss's drawers and pulled out the cat ear headband they had bought yesterday. Weiss looked surprised, with wide eye and open mouth, as Blake slid the headband over Weiss's head. Blake straightened up the ears and straightened parts of Weiss's hair. 

Blake then undid her collar, with only a little struggle, and put it around Weiss's neck. 

Blake put her hands on Weiss's shoulders and pushed down, until Weiss was kneeling.

 _ **"today,"**_ Blake said, **"you're _kitty."_**  

"umm," Weiss said, "okay..." 

Blake then pulled out a stick.

Weiss looked at the stick, and then at Blake.

Blake poked Weiss with the stick. 

"Ahh!" Weiss tried to shield herself, but Blake just went around the parts of Weiss's body that she covered with her arms. Blake poked Weiss in the stomach several times. When Weiss curled into a ball, Blake bopped Weiss on the head with the stick.

"Ow, ow!" Weiss clutched her head. "Blakey whyyyyy?" 

Blake's mouth curled into a smirk. " ** _i'm 'master'._** _"_  

"Master, why are you hitting me with a stick?" Weiss covered her head more. "Please stop! I promise I'll stop or start whatever it is you want!" 

Blake poked Weiss twice more, halfheartedly, before she tossed the stick to the side. 

Weiss looked up, looking grateful. 

Blake pulled out the Wand that Moves the Red Dot. Blake summoned the Red Dot onto the floor. At Blake's bidding, Weiss jumped after it, but Blake willed the Dot to move away. Weiss chased the Dot around the room, from wall to wall, scrabbling and jumping and pouncing at the Dot, but the Dot was too fast and two flighty. 

However, Weiss cornered the Dot on the side of the far wall, at a level just above the honorary kitty's head. Weiss jumped and stretched, and Blake moved the Dot upwards, out of Weiss's reach. Weiss tried to scrabble up the wall.

Weiss turned to Blake. "Master, I'm not tall enough~" she whined.

Blake then willed the Dot to the floor. Weiss scrabbled after it. The Dot made its way towards Blake's feet. Weiss pounced one last time, to the floor before Blake. Weiss brought her hands around where the Dot used to be, but Blake then dismissed the Dot. Weiss looked sad.

Blake knelt down and rubbed Weiss's head. Weiss closed her eyes and leaned into the head rub. 

" ** _purr, kitty."_**

"Ummm," Weiss said. She cleared her throat and tried to make some growling noises. 

Blake frowned. 

"Umm!" Weiss then tried again, with more success. "Mrrrwwwrrrr?"

Blake let herself down from where she sat on the bed and started rubbing Weiss's hair and head and ears with both her hands. Blake rubbed her cheek on Weiss's forehead, rubbing down her face and rubbing her nose and her uncovered eyelid.

Then, Blake pulled away. Weiss followed with her head at first, for a moment.

Then, Blake pulled out a ball of yarn. Weiss regarded the ball.

Blake threw the yarn at Weiss's head. It bounced off. Weiss clutched her her head again. The ball rolled onto the floor, aways away. 

 " ** _play, kitty._ " **Blake made a 'go on' gesture with her hands. Weiss crawled over to the ball of yarn and picked it up with her hands. 

Weiss looked to Blake. 

Blake blinked. 

Weiss looked down to the yarn and swatted at the yarn. Blake smiled. 

Weiss threw the yarn, and then chased it. Blake smiled some more.

After Weiss retrieved the yarn, she looked to Blake, and then the yarn, and then she closed her eyes and opened her mouth and bit into the toy. "Grrrrrrrr," Weiss enunciated. 

Blake clapped thrice. 

Blake walked over to the ground where Weiss was rolling around eating a ball of yarn. Blake patted Weiss's head and pulled the ball of yarn out of her mouth. There was a thin trail of saliva. 

" ** _bathtime, kitty."_**

Weiss smiled. "Okay, master!"  

 

 

Blake pushed Weiss into the fancy porcelain bathroom and turned on the golden lights. She locked the door. It made a satisfying click. 

Blake managed to turn on the faucet to the tub without getting any water on her. She then went to undress Weiss. 

It turned out, pulling someone's dress over their head in one motion was a lot harder then Weiss had made it look. Weiss got stuck a little bit, and Blake had to take a while to pull Weiss out of the tangle of clothes. Eventually, Weiss was naked except for her medical eyepatch, the collar and the ear headband. In the artificial bathroom light, her pale, flawless humanflesh was less blinding to look at.

Blake then put on a pair of elbow length rubber gloves and mentally steeled herself.  

Weiss looked at Blake quizzically as Blake pushed her by the shoulders to the front of the tub. Blake looked to Weiss, expectantly.

Weiss looked at the tub and then at Blake. "Oh!" Weiss said. "Oh, yeah, I get it." Weiss then grabbed onto the nearby towel rung. 

"Nooooooooo~" Weiss begged, "Not the water! Kitty _hates_ the water! _Hateses_ iiiiitttt~" 

Blake smiled; Weiss understood.

Blake pried Weiss's fingers off the wall fixtures. She picked Weiss up with only a little straining of her muscles and then bodily dipped her into the water.

Weiss closed her eye and swatted at the surface of the water, splashing little splashes that Blake deftly avoided. "Not the water! It's so dumb and gross!" 

 Weiss eventually calmed down enough for Blake to start trying to wash her.  Blake picked up a bar of soap. Even through the rubber gloves, it was gross. 

Blake kneeled at the side of the tub and rubbed the soap on Weiss's head. She then rubbed a streak of soap onto Weiss's right cheek. 

"Ummmm..." Weiss said. 

Blake took care not to get the ear headband or Weiss's eyepatch wet. She kneaded the soap into patches of Weiss's hair and face for a few minutes. Then Blake decided that was probably good enough, so she picked Weiss up by the armpits and pulled her out of the tub, to stand in the middle of the bathroom. 

Blake turned to the towel rack and picked up a towel and looked at it. She then lay it on top of Weiss's head. 

"uhhh," Weiss said. 

Blake picked up another towel. She rubbed it on Weiss's arm. That seemed to soak up some of the wet spots. Eventually, Weiss seemed dry enough, so Blake unlocked the door and led Weiss back into the main bedroom.  

And, as bonus, Blake conveniently forgot to give herself a bath. Forgetting to brush the teeth of either of them, however, was an honest mistake. 

 

 

Dressing Weiss in her pajamas progressed with less clothing tangles. Blake managed to put Weiss's pants on backwards the first time, but that was easily fixed. 

 

And after Blake changed into her pajamas, without help, she jumped onto the bed. She Blake beckoned Weiss to join her. She hugged Weiss's head, and then readjusted her arms into a better position to hug Weiss's head. The fourth time, it was comfortable, so Blake held it and purred, slightly. Weiss let out a small, happy gasp. 

" _ **you've been good**_ ," Blake said. She ran her hand down the back of Weiss's hair, **_"Weiss."_**  

Weiss pulled back enough to look Blake in the eyes. Her face lit up, "Yay Blakey, you learned my name!" 

Blake blinked.

"I mean," Weiss's face turned serious, "Thank you master." 

Blake smiled. She hugged Weiss to her chest. She flopped onto her back, pulling Weiss with her onto the bed.

Weiss nestled into Blake's arms. Blake gave Weiss a short squeeze. They fell asleep. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of arc one. Season one? The first story line. (If I come up with a good title for it, I'll name it retroactively). In the next one, Weiss takes Blake to the zoo.


	16. The Zoo, part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weiss drags Blake to the Zoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the new arc! Now I have three or four chapters to think of clever metaphors for animals as social conditions. Or maybe I'll just stick with animal puns. 
> 
> There's been, like, a two week time skip. This arc will be mostly fluff to counterbalance the last three chapters of vaguely sexual stuff.

Blake didn't react as Weiss hugged her shoulders, rocking the Faunus back and forth as she sang. They were in the back of a limousine, the windows tinted and the artificial lights rather dim. Blake enjoyed the ambiance. 

"Let's go Blakey, Blakey, Blakey till we see the sun!" Weiss belted out, almost too loud for the enclosed space, "I know we only met but it's been so much fun!" 

The other two taller Schnees smiled gently and, occasionally, awkwardly, as they watched their daughter rock Blake back and forth. They were sipping some sort of alcohol as they played a half-hearted chess match. 

Blake avoided eye contact with them after a the first few minutes. Instead, she tried to enjoy Weiss's singing. She failed. 

 

Eventually, they arrived at their destination. Weiss opened the door and pulled Blake out by the wrist. 

Blake blinked in the sunlight. She appreciated the general idea of a sun-like entity and the necessary role it performed on Remnant's various ecological cycles, and she liked how warm its rays were, but she didn't actually like the sun. 

Once Blake's eyes adjusted, she could see the signs on the edifice of their destination.

It was the zoo. Weiss had promised a surprise, and this was what it was. 

Weiss hugged Blake. "We get to see the animals! Just like you, Blakey!" 

Blake's expression flattened. " ** _there'll be caged Faunus?"_**  

"No, i meant, like, wild animals, Blake! Aren't you wild, deep down? I know I am!" 

Blake blinked. 

The other taller Schnee stepped up and shielded her eyes as she looked over the lines. "However, we can go to the circus next week if you'd prefer," she said. 

Blake glared. Weiss tugged on her arm to snap her out of it.

 

The Schnees and Blake walked up to the front of the line, cutting groups of tourists and families and a group of children from some religious institution. Mum Schnee paid some lien to the ticket master. Someone opened the 'employee only' door and escorted the four of them into the zoo proper. 

Blake crinkled her nose. Yes, this certainly was a place where lots of animals were kept in small enclosures. And they were still in the front of the zoo, where the visitor center and gift shop and the nicest restrooms and the dining areas all resided. The smell would get stronger near the center. 

Mum Schnee departed towards the bathroom. Pa Schnee took a seat on a nearby bench. 

Weiss put down her and Blake's travel pack and rummaged through it. She pulled out a bottle. Blake looked closer at the label and saw that it was sunscreen. Weiss dabbed some on her nose and her chin and the parts of her forehead and cheek that weren't covered by her eyepatch. 

And then Weiss tried to put some on Blake. 

Blake intercepted Weiss's hands and glared and hissed. 

"No Blake!" Weiss whined, "We'll be out in the sun for a long time, and you don't want your skin to burn, do you? That's how you get skin cancer, or worse, wrinkles! You don't want wrinkly cancer, do you, Blake?" 

Blake considered things. 

Blake let go of Weiss and closed her eyes and tried to stand still as Weiss rubbed cold, sticky goo on her face and neck. 

As a further precaution, Weiss pulled out two matching wide-brimmed sunhats. She put one on her head and, very excitedly, plopped one down on Blake's head. It smushed Blake's ears down, so Blake chewed some holes into it. Weiss thought the ears poking out of the hat looked cute; Blake knew that, because Weiss bit her hands and said, 'Blakey, you're so cute!', and then hugged Blake around the shoulders, really hard. Blake could smell the sunscreen on her. 

 

The other taller Schnee returned, clutching her own sunhat (not quite matching Blake and Weiss's, though), and gathered the group of them. 

"So we should visit the gift shop first, so we don't forget anything you've wanted on the way here, and then again on the way out, in case we find a new favorite animal. There's a thirty minute bus tour around the facilities, which departs every fifteen minutes, so we don't especially need to time our activities before then. Then we can go around the west end, at all the large mammals. By then our sunscreen should wear off, so we'll return here for lunch. Afterwards we can see the mostly indoors reptile house and insect enclosure. We can adjust the itinerary if necessary." 

The taller Schnee nodded, and Weiss agreed verbally. She asked if Blake was excited, and Blake blinked. 

 

 

Blake perused the books at the gift shop. A good book could last a long time. And some of them had really good pictures of animals that looked really tasty. 

"Blake, Blake!" Weiss suddenly called from the side. She ran up to Blake, with her hands behind her back. "I got you a present, Blake!"

Weiss held her hands out before her. She was holding a giant, spotted, stuffed animal snake.  

"It's a snakey!" 

Weiss then wrapped the snake around Blake's neck, like a scarf. Three layers up, it concealed Blake's chin, and the snake's head rested down over Blake's left shoulder.  

" _ **is this,**_ " Blake said, from behind the snake around her head, " _ **just because it rhymes with 'Blakey'?"**_

"Noooo~," Weiss unwrapped the snake one loop, by the head, so she could move the snake's head around without pulling on Blake's neck. "It's also because snakes and kitties both hiss! See, Hiss~!" Weiss wobbled the snake in front of Blake's face.

Blake stared. 

"Hiiiiiiisssssssss~~" Weiss wobbled the snake, up and down, close enough that a felt bifurcated tongue tickled the tip of Blake's nose, up and down. 

Blake blinked. 

Weiss brought the snake even closer, so much that Blake had to lean back slightly. "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss~~~~~~~~" 

The snake licked every bit of Blake's face. Blake tried not to smile. 

Wesss then stepped back, her ecstatic grin faded into a neutral expression. "It's okay if you don't like it, Blakey. I can get you something else." 

Blake cleared her throat and petted the snake. " _ **no, don't. it's nice.**_ " 

Weiss's grin returned. "Yay!" She hugged Blake, and the snake. 

"Now c'mon," Weiss grabbed Blake by the hand and led her further into the animal smells. "the tour bus is starting to accept passengers!" 

 

 


	17. The Zoo, part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains Puns. 
> 
> Just warning you ahead of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: Also, don't try any of this at home. Zoos are dangerous, and Puns can lose you friends.

They climbed on the back of the bus. The two taller Schnee's took a seat and pulled out a pamphlet and whispered fun animal facts behind it. There was a railing, and Weiss leaned over. Blake watched Weiss point at things.

And, when the bus roared awake and started rolling on a path around the zoo, Blake was, momentarily, disorientated, for just a moment, She took a step back and clutched the snake around her neck in one hand and held out her other arm out for balance. Weiss saw Blake stumble and grabbed her hand and held it throughout the ride. 

They saw an overview of the whole zoo- a little further away from the exhibits, but tall enough to get an idea of which ones they thought they'd like to see up closer, and the whole tour took less than half an hour, so Weiss had an itinerary for the next few hours by the time the bus slowed to a stop. 

 

 

 

 

As soon as the bus tour ended, Weiss pulled Blake by the hand into the zoo. Weiss seemed to have a very clear idea of what she wanted to show Blake first. 

Weiss pulled Blake to the railing on the edge of one of the exhibits, a pit of dirt meant to resemble a Savannah landscape. There were thin trees with wide branches and tufts of yellow grass and several outcroppings of brown boulders. The whole place smelled like tourism and captivity and megafauna poop, but this place in particular smelled a little drier and more sun-baked. 

 

Weiss turned to Blake. "Okay, so you didn't like being called a a wild animal-" 

Blake blinked. 

"But that's because you're not just any animal, you're a kitty!" 

Blake blinked again. 

"So you'd like to see kitties, just like you! So look at it, Blake, kitties! Right here, just like you!" 

Weiss put an arm around Blake's shoulder and pulled her head close, so that Blake could see what Weiss was pointing at.

Specifically, Weiss was pointing at several lions, some yawning lazily, other's sleeping lazily, rolled on their side, in the middle of the pit.  

"Look at the kitties, Blake! They're just  _lion_ around!" 

Blake blinked. 

Weiss turned to Blake and jumped on the tips of her toes, slightly. "Do you see, Blake? They're just  _lion_ around! _Li_ _on_ around, Blake!" 

Blake blinked more. One of the lions- a male one, judging by the mane- peaked his head up at the visitors. Blake and Weiss weren't the only ones looking in on them, but Weiss was by far the most enthusiastic of the tourists.

"Do you see, Blake? Or maybe I have to  _underlion_ them?" 

Blake's mouth flattened. The taller Schnees were catching up to them. 

"Maybe they're hard to see, though, because they're not where they should be; they're all out of a _lion_ ment." 

Blake blinked again. 

Weiss tugged on Blake's hand. "Maybe I need to pour acid on them, so they're not quite so alka _lion?"_

Blake blinked several times. 

"Ooh ooh, I know!" Weiss dug through her day pack, "We can look at them through my binoculars! Up close, maybe we can see their crysta _lion_ lattice structure?" 

Blake blinked once more.

Weiss frowned slightly. "I don't actually have binoculars. I just needed to say I did to set up the joke." 

Blake autonomically and simultaneously shut her eyelids and reopened them. 

Weiss put an arm around Blake and shook her side to side in time to the rhythm. The plush snake flopped against Blake's side and stomach. "~There's a lion that we'll cross and there's no return, there's a time and a place, no bridges left to burn~ Anymore!" Weiss sang. 

" ** _are you done?"_**

Weiss smiled cheerfully, horribly. "You could say I'm not inc _lion_ ed to be!" 

Blake blinked twice, then took a breath, and then she blinked three more times.

Blake brought her hand up, limp and open. Weiss regarded it.

Blake put her hand on Weiss's face.

Weiss giggled and took Blake's hand in her's. Then her face went more serious. "But do you like them? I can ask the zookeepers if they can make the lions do things? I just thought it might be fun to see what lions are like in person." Weiss sunk into her shoulders and poked her fingers together at that last part. 

Blake cleared her throat. She turned to the pit, and gestured towards the feline megafauna. Blake exhaled wistfully.  " _ **are they really lions? a captive life renders them merely oddities, not true lions."**_

Weiss raised an eyebrow. "Oh? So you're saying that the descriptions of them aren't really true, they're just  _lion_  about them?" 

From behind them, Blake heard the taller Schnees fail to suppress matching groans. 

Blake put her hand on Weiss's face again.

Then Blake twisted to hold Weiss's upper body out over the pit. More lions peaked up. Some of the little lions turned their little lion heads to the girl dangling out over the pit. 

"Blake noooooo!" Weiss squealed in terror, or perhaps delight. 

Blake pulled Weiss back. Weiss started giggling. Nobody around them remarked on the occurrence. And Blake wasn't  _really_  going to do it. 

Blake leaned on the railing and watched the lions mewl about for a while. The lions here (All the animals, but Blake was thinking specifically about the kitties, just like her) didn't run, they didn't hunt, they didn't fight or migrate or explore or discover. But they had food, and a doctor to look them over and a cave to hide in and all they had to do was look like lions for visitors. Most importantly, they seemed content, as far as Blake could tell after watching them. And Blake did watch them, next to Weiss, until the human girl tugged on her arm to lead her away, at Weiss's mother's bidding, for lunch. Blake did not object. 

Right before they left, Blake found out it was lunch time for the lions as well, and her nose twitched and her stomach growled when the scent of raw steaks mingled in the air with the typical zoo smells.

 

 


	18. The Zoo, part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Weiss's mouth is a cesspool of lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snakes, in a lot of cultures, have a rich history of symbolism, being associated with things such as treachery, sin, renewal, and skin care. All of that is ignored here in favor of more animal wordplay, so if you enjoyed the previous chapter, good news. 
> 
> Also, about 20%-30% of what Weiss says in this chapter is actually true, which just makes it harder to determine which of her explanations to trust. Ahahahaha.
> 
> Don't know what I'm trying to do here plot-wise, so maybe just enjoy the puns?
> 
> EDIT: revamped the first snake bit.

Lunch was commercial food.They sat down at a table made of fake bamboo and a waiter dressed as some sort of safari guide handed them menus backed by woven wicker. 

Weiss pulled the menu out of Blake's hands and laid it flat on the table. "Here, Blake, I'll read to you what the menu options are and you just pick one and you can have it!" 

Blake blinked. 

Weiss started enunciating the words on the menu, slowly but steadily, in an elaborate monotone. She pronounced most of the words correctly. Blake let her get through the whole menu.

It took a while. The taller Schnees congratulated Weiss on her reading ability and her diction and hid their exasperation.

"Okay, do any of those sound good to you, Blake?"

Blake pointed at the fishy burger. It was one of the first items on the menu. The taller Schnee's made annoyed expressions. Blake smirked, but only a bit. 

And after the food arrived and Blake sunk her teeth into a dry, flavorless patty whose juices soaked into the breads and made it soggy, Blake realized how skilled the Schnee cook was and wondered if she was getting used to luxury. 

 

 

 

After lunch, the four of them walked over to the indoor exhibits. 

On the way, the taller Schnees mentioned Weiss's name. Blake's ears perked up and she strained to listen. 

"-it's good to encourage her creativity, yes, but if she doesn't suffer any negative consequences for them, she'll keep making them." 

"If she doesn't grow out of them, we can implement some austerity measures. It'd be for her own good-" 

Blake turned her head. The adult Schnees paused. 

Pa Schnee made an excuse to talk to Weiss alone. Blake overheard something about lions and their sleep cycles. Mum Schnee pulled Blake aside and gave Blake some long speech about punishing Weiss every time she made a pun, for the rest of her life. Or something like that. 

Blake blinked. 

" ** _you don't value your daughter's creativity or joy?"_**  

"Ahahaha. Send me a meow when those become commercializable assets." 

Blake's eyebrows flattened.

The woman sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Can you just," she said, "Subtly discourage her? We can revisit this later." 

Blake blinked. She shrugged.

The Schnee patted Blake's shoulder. "Good enough." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They arrived at the entrance to the Reptile House. A nun from a tour group from the Maximum Security Religious Orphanage ushered in a line of sullen, grungy children.  A dirty, emaciated child with a streak of colored hair stopped at the front of the building, staring at the revolving door.  "Snakes," deadpanned the child, in a forlorn monotone that almost made Blake nod in approval. "Why did it have to be snakes." 

A different, dirtier child, with unkempt hair, who walked with skips and jumps, lay a hand on the shoulder of the first child. They shared a nod and fell back in line with the rest of the procession. 

Inside the building, the hallways were left mostly dark and there were no outside windows. There was purple carpeting, but the kind that was essentially a solid surface. 

 

 Weiss pulled Blake by the hand to a glass pane. On the other side was an artificially lit enclosure with sticks and rocks and plants. And also a snake or two. 

“Snakes, Blake!” Weiss said, "Lookit! Look at the snakes, Blake! Do you see them? Look at how snakey they are! Do you see, Blake? Do you see the snakes?” Weiss hugged Blake’s head and jumped, up and down. She pointed at the snakes. "Look at the snakes! Do you see, Blake? They're so snakey, Blakey!" 

Blake blinked. She pulled on the plush snake around her neck, moving its head so it could see the snakes too. The three of them regarded the snakes. 

Weiss pulled Blake by the hand to another glass plane. Blake glanced at the illuminated plaque. _Crotalus Cerastes._

“Look at _these_ snakes, Blake!" Weiss pointed at some snakes. "These snakes have a _rattle_  on their tail, made of interlocking plates from the same stuff their scales are made of. They _rattle_  them when predators are near, which _rattle_  the plates against each other. The rattly noise intimidates other animals, you see? They try to be scarier than the predator, so they can postpone their inevitable deaths another day. Look, watch it's tail, Blake, watch it, it's going to rattle!"

Weiss then pressed her face and palms against the glass. Weiss was pretty scary. 

The snake curled up, and its tail started vibrating, emitting a rattling noise.

"Did you see?" Weiss adjusted her medical eyepatch and turned to Blake. "That's why they're called,” Weiss pointed, “Shakey Snakeys!" 

The taller Schnees did not correct her. Neither did the zookeepers or any of the tourists or orphans or the nun. 

Weiss pulled Blake by the hand to another exhibit. The plaque said  _Thamnophis Sauritus._

“And these snakes, Blake! See, their skin is falling off? That's because they don't wear sunscreen, Blake, so make sure you always put on moisturizing sunscreen with an SPF of at least 30 whenever you go outside, even if its cloudy." Weiss tapped Blake's sunhat. "And also wear your hat, too! Or you'll end up sad like these snakes."

"These snakes are called, “ Weiss pointed at the snakes, “Flakey Snakeys!

Blake scrunched her mouth. 

Weiss pulled Blake to another exhibit. 

“And these snakes are actually just large worms wearing green paint. They survive by stealing the identities of more successful animals and mooching off of them, so make sure you keep your credit card wrapped in aluminum foil all the time, Blake, so you don't end up like their victims!” Weiss tugged on Blake's hand. “These snakes are called Fakey Snakeys!”

Blake lifted the plush snake's head so they could look at each other. The plush snake shook it's head from side to side. Its tongue flopped. 

Weiss pulled Blake to another exhibit.  

"And these snakes lose their tails! Their tails just break off! See Blake? You see? They're called Breakey Snakeys!" 

Blake scrunched her mouth. Those ones were actually just really thin salamanders; snakes didn't have caudal autonomy.  

And Weiss pulled Blake to another exhibit.   

“These snakes, Blake! Lookit!" Weiss held her hands out on the panes of glass. "They have renounced the light and abandoned reason, to make dark pacts with antediluvian deities, whispering indolent obscenities upon the uncaring charnal wind. Their souls are filled with cyclopean madness.”

Weiss put an arm around Blake's shoulder and pulled Blake's face next to hers. Weiss pointed at a snake lying in the light. It might have been sleeping. 

“See how they wriggle and writhe with the blasphemous undulations of shadows of glimpses of the untold, tenebrous depths? They are a cautionary reminder of how far into the abyss our humanity can succumb if we become as they are, so twisted and noisome and vile. They give and give and give more of their light for empty promises from ineffable monsters, only to receive naught but madness and darkness and dissapointment."

One of the snakes licked its eyeballs.

Weiss pontificated theatrically. “They know no freedom, no tremulous laughter parts their innocent lips nor warms their skins. There are stains upon their minds and stigmata on their womb-bound unborn-"

_**"-these snakes aren't viviparous-"** _

"Who scream unhearable, yoke-mouthed screams as their souls hollow out in torturous abandon in preview of the dark lives they've sold to the stygian darkness." 

A snake lifted its head and then lowered it. 

Weiss's shoulders relaxed, ever so slightly, and her hands had an almost imperceptible tremble in them as she waved a panorama across the enclosure, "They cry out, but their yearning falls on deaf ears. Once they form their dark pact they are trapped, Blake. Trapped in a life of sacrifice to unknowable entities who care not for their true needs, twisted to an eldritch agenda beyond their capability to comprehend, molded by abominations into identical abominations that shun their own reflections and hate what they've been tortured into, too far gone on a path for them to even remember a vestige of hope for lives they could have lived."  

Blake blinked. In the enclosure, a snake licked its eyes.

Weiss looked Blake in the eyes, her own wide and sincere. She put a palm against Blake's chest, over her heart. "So hold fast to the light, Blake. Never let it fade within you. Promise, Blake, that you will never succumb to darkness." 

Blake blinked. She shut her mouth, as she realized it had fell open at some point. 

Weiss's face was serious. 

" ** _um.... okay. yes._** " 

Weiss smiled again. She turned to the snakes. “They're called,” Weiss said, “Forsakey Snakeys!

 

 

 

 

And then Weiss ran out of adjectives that rhymed with 'snakey', and introduced Blake to the Squeezy Snakeys ( _Eunectes murinus_ ), the flappy snakeys ( _Naja haje_ ) the snakeys that could fly from tree to tree ( _Chrysopelia Ornata_ ), the snakes that secretly controlled the government at the highest eschalons of power ( _Serpentes Sapiens_ ) and the snakes we'd all end up wedded to after the slippery slope kicks in if we legalize gay marriage ( _Medusae Astoriae_ ).

And then the other taller Schnee appeared. "Now now, Weiss sweetie," she said. She put her hands on her daughter's shoulders. "I'm sure we all appreciate the wordplay. Maybe Blake wants to say something in response?"

"Oh?" Weiss turned to Blake and smiled. "Are you enjoying the herpetology, Blake?" 

Blake looked between Weiss and her mother.

 _ **"more like,"**_   Blake said, **"** **derp-** _ **atology."**_  

Weiss winked. 

Weiss's mother did not look amused. She stared at Blake for a bit. 

"Yes. Well, Weiss sweetie, maybe you should wrap up your little lesson now, lest you overfill your little pet's head with more knowledge than it can handle." 

Blake glared. 

Weiss made noncommittal noises, but she was a little less enthusiastic about most of the other snakes. 

 

 

 

 

"Ooh ooh!" Weiss said, when they passed by another enclosure. She pulled Blake to her side, by the shoulder, and pointed at some more snakes. "Look at  _these_ snakes Blake? Do they look familiar?" 

Blake looked down at the spotted snake in the enclosure, and then at the giant spotted plush snake around her neck. 

Weiss pulled out a black marker and crossed out the scientific name on the snake's plaque. She then wrote ' _Blaeky Snex_ ' on it. 

"They're now Blakey Snakeys! Do you like them? I named them after you, you know!" 

Blake blinked. 

Weiss turned to one of the orphans from the max sec religious group. "Hey you! You see those snakes? They're named after my kitty!" 

Blake blinked. The orphan blinked. This was the one from before, with the colored hair streak. 

"Whats so great about them?"

"They're green!" Weiss explained. 

Blake blinked again. That was correct. 

"Is that it?" said the orphan. 

"Yeah!" Weiss said. 

The orphan's friend appeared. From up close, Blake could see that the dirt covered up the original color of her hair. "Is that meaningful in any way?"

Weiss took a step back, a little closer to Blake. "It can be," Weiss said. "If you want it to mean something, then it can." 

One of the snakes rolled around, horizontally, "They look peaceful," said one of the orphans. 

(When Weiss wasn't looking, Blake picked the marker out of her pocket and corrected the spelling of her name. She then replaced the marker.) 

Weiss refreshed her smile. "Sure! They can represent peacefulness and solace, since they get to lie around in artificial sunlight every day." That was something Blake could believe in. 

"Really?" The orphan seemed to speak with a little more hope.

Blake turned to Weiss. "S-sure." She refreshed her smile. "If you believe in the greenness of the snake, you can find solace." 

The orphans turned to each other and smirked.

"All hail the Blakey Snakeys!" Weiss said. She waved her hands in the air. 

"All hail the Green Snakes!" said the orphans. 

"no~" Weiss said, "They're called 'Blakey Snakeys'-

"Green Snakes! Green Snakes!" chanted the two orphans. 

Some more orphans approached, and heard about the snakes, and they too started chanting.

And then the whole group started chanting. Weiss jumped behind Blake and ducked her head into her shoulders. 

The nun stepped towards Weiss, angry and menacing. "What have you done," seethed the nun, "You've given them hope!" 

Weiss wiinked.

Then Weiss's parent's appeared. Mum Schnee kneeled besides Blake, real quick. "Take Weiss and run." 

Blake's two week old ninja bodyguard instincts kicked in. She grabbed Weiss's hand and led her through the crowd, weaving expertly through the crowd. Behind them, the adult Schnees dealt with the orphans and the nun.

Weiss didn't say anything.

Blake and Weiss ended up in the entomological exhibits. Blake checked Weiss over, and brushed off her shirt and hair, for good measure. 

Only two orphans managed to ambush them. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	19. The Zoo part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weiss concludes her visit to the Zoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just know I'm going to come up with some clever satire or something in the next few weeks that I should have put here. 
> 
> So, I guess, perhaps there will be minor re-writes to this chapter, sometime, potentially.
> 
> EDIT: Added the Omake

Two orphans approached them; the same two from before, the one with the hair streak and his hyperactive friend, who had first converted to the solace of the green snake. (Blake idly mused that the nun was likely to be upset at that.) 

They looked upset, and desperate. They eyed Blake and Weiss hungrily, but, likely, hungry for vengeance or something. And also hungry for food; they were orphans, after all. 

Blake stepped in front of Weiss and held her arms out. She barred her teeth and lowered her center of gravity. 

"So what, you playing pirate?" Said one of the orphans.

"N-no," Weiss touched her medical eyepatch, "I- I need it-" 

"Must be nice being rich, huh?" said the other one of the orphans.

"Only having problems that can be solved with a change in attitude."

"'Believe in the green snake and you will find solace'"

"What a load of bull."

"You've never felt the burrowing hunger."

"You've never felt the gathering loneliness."

"How dare you tempt us with your hope."

"But," Weiss managed to say, "You're orphans; aren't you used to disappointment?" 

They moved to flank Blake and Weiss.

The thing about orphans was, they had the proportional strength, endurance and agility as people without parents. But the joke was on them because Blake had those same abilities. 

Blake moved her arms in a ninja way and then lunged first-

And immediately ended up on the ground, with a sharp pain in her stomach and the air knocked out of her lungs.  

"Blake noooo~" 

There was the sound of two seconds of hand-to-hand combat, and afterwards, the sound of two more thuds upon the ground and of several groans from the two orphans.

Oh, that was right; Weiss was actually competent at combat. (But then why did Blake win all of their skirmishes?)

Weiss turned Blake onto her back and picked her up by the armpits. 

Weiss's face was pure worry. "Are you okay, Blakey?" 

Blake blinked at Weiss. Then she nodded. 

Weiss then turned Blake around so she could hug her from behind, so she could squeeze Blake's torso and nuzzle the back of her head. Weiss's embrace was comforting, somewhat. 

"it's not all great, you know," Weiss said, eventually, to the orphans. "Even if you're rich, you can have doubts and worries and real problems." 

The orphans brushed themselves off and blinked. 

"Like, your parents want you to go to a school where you don't have any friends, and you know if you join the school play they'll nominally let you but they'll undermine you at every opportunity and they'll make excuses to miss seeing you when you perform on opening night-"

Blake blinked. 

"And you can tell they don't respect you, and nobody seems to respect you, and you have to be sneaky to get enough food-" 

Blake blinked again- 

"And even when they do give you food, they make you eat _peas_." Weiss stuck out her tongue.

Blake also stuck out her tongue. 

The orphans blinked in unison. "But you seem happy," said one of them. 

"The secret to that," Weiss said, "Is to externalize your source of happiness." 

Weiss hugged Blake and squeezed. Blake allowed it. 

"You find someone else to pour all your wants and needs into, so that they're the only thing you ever want. That way, as long as you have them, it doesn't matter if everyone else plays pranks or bullies you or if all the authority figures don't believe your feelings. You can be happy." 

Weiss nuzzled Blake's head. 

"And then, even if you're not sure she likes you back sometimes, you can feel good about your feelings for your beloved."

Blake and the orphans blinked. 

Blake turned her head to sort of make eye contact with Weiss. **" _that's either really profound, or a good way to mess yourself up for life."_**

The taller orphan hugged her friend the same way Weiss hugged Blake. As In, too tightly and in a way that was probably bad for your back. The shorter orphan squeaked, though since he was the cleaner of the two it might have been because he didn't want to get dirty. 

"Huh," the taller orphan said, "and this works?"

"I suppose I'm not opposed to this," said the shorter orphan. 

Weiss pointed to the shorter orphan, the one being hugged. "You have to only speak when it's funny or profound though, and then only softly and concisely."

"Do they also need to be in a pet-play BDSM relationship?" said the tall maid. 

The stocky maid was there too. The two of them were dressed in casual attire, rather than maid's uniforms. 

Weiss clutched Blake to her chest. "W-what are you doing here?"

"There's no school today."

"But-" Weiss said," it's Tuesday." 

"It's summer vacation."

"But I have school still. I mean, I only have it on Friday, but it still meets today-"

"Okay, fine, I'm ditching." said the tall maid.  

"I, actually, am only taking classes on weekday nights, at the community college," said the stocky maid. 

"S-so why are you here?" Weiss asked.

"We wanted to see the zoo."

"Together?" 

"We're friends." The tall maid smirked. 

"I wouldn't go that far." The stocky maid frowned.

"Fine," said the tall maid, "We're frenemies. With nothing to do today. "

"Or perhaps," said the stocky maid, "Your parents secretly paid us to follow you around and make sure you don't get hurt." 

"Not that you'd actually need our help," said the tall maid, "Good job punching out those orphans, by the way- huh, where'd they go?" 

Weiss looked embarrassed, at the compliment, as far as Blake could tell from her spot in the embrace. 

"And you were very valiant, Blake," said the stocky maid, with a warm smile, "Regardless of the results."

Blake tried not to blush.

And the sounds of the adjacent riot died down. Blake supposed the orphans snuck back into their group before they were missed. 

 

 

Weiss carried Blake through the bug exhibits. The maids, it seemed, actually didn't have anything better to do during their free time than to follow them around the 'creepy crawlies' exhibits.

"Hey look, Blake!" Weiss pointed to a pile of dirt. "Ants! They're behind the glass, so they can't get us, so don't worry, Blakey, just look! Look, Blake, look at the ants!"

Blake looked at the ants.

"These are Slavemaker ants. They were really good at taking over other anthills and making the other ants feed them. They had to, because slave maker ants are in cable of feeding themselves." Weiss said. She moved Blake's head so Blake could see. "Most species of slavemakers were originally part of their slave species but just evolved slightly diver-gently, because otherwise they wouldn't know which species to enslave." 

Blake tried to think of something clever to say, but it turned out she didn't need to.

"In such a way," the stocky maid said, quietly, conspiratorially, "they are similar to the aristocracy."

The maids high-fived. 

 

 

 

 

Weiss carried Blake through to the frog exhibits. 

The tall maid pointed to one exhibit, with one frog on top of another, with its arms wrapped around the other frog's stomach. "See those frogs? What they're doing is called amplexus; One frog latches on to the other, and if thst frog manages to stay onto the other frog for long enough, the other frog agrees to mate."

Blake didn't feel Weiss move for a moment. "That's weird." Weiss said, from behind her. Blake agreed. 

"Isn't it?" Said the tall maid, through a rictus grin. The stocky maid tried not to laugh. 

Blake blinked. Weiss winked.

"Oooh, ooh!" Weiss said. She pointed to the adjacent exhibit, "These frogs can change the color of their skin!" 

 

 

 

 

And finally, they went into the aviary. It was a massive cage of steel and canvas, trapping the birds and the humidity inside. 

Specifically, Weiss pointed out the vultures, because they weren't sleeping. They eyed Blake and Weiss. 

Afterwards, they saw the vulture exhibit. Blake thought about making a joke about comparing them to capitalists, like maybe how 'venture capitalist' and 'vulture capitalist' were only two letters off, but she couldn't think of a way to phrase it that sounded funny or profound but also concise. It was probably just as well; maybe Weiss wouldn't appreciate the pun. The maids (Well, the tall maid, at least) joked that maybe the Schnee's were secretly vulture Faunus. Blake didn't know whether or not to be offended. 

 But then the orphanage group entered the aviary, and the vultures took a greater interested in them.

 

 

And then the Schnees appeared. Mum Schnee adjusted her makeup (Blake could see a mostly-concealed bruise on her cheek). Pa Schnee walked with a slight limp.

And, Blake would later realize, this was the point where the maids had silently adjourned to elsewhere. 

"Are you okay?" Weiss asked, softly, worriedly, to her parents. 

"Of course." Mum Schnee waved the air. "It's not like this was the first orphan riot we've had to put down. (The nun was a little harder, though)"

"All we had to do was remind them that snakes didn't have any arms, and that was weird." 

"Well, it wasn't  _all_ we had to do, but it was a major component of it." 

"Settling out of court, honestly, was a lot more grueling."

Blake blinked.

"However," said the other taller Schnee, "Your father and I have had our fill of, aha, 'fun', for the day. If you have any more animals you'd like to see, we'll go see them, but otherwise, we vote to head home."

"I'm okay with that," Weiss said. She turned to the Faunus in her arms. "We had lots of fun too, right Blake?" 

Blake blinked. She looked to the three Schnee's and to the visible animals. 

" _ **I suppose this was 'fun'**_." It wasn't false. 

Weiss was excited.

 

 

 

 

The four of them went to leave the zoo.  Blake's nose unclogged, as she wasn't constantly smelling dirty animals and/or orphans. 

(They also encountered the orphan entourage. The taller Schnees nodded awkwardly to the nun. Blake tossed the pair of orohans from earlier some Lien. They pocketed the money and nodded in solemn thanks. Then Weiss noticed, and gave the orphans much more Lien. Turns out, Weiss had a much, much bigger allowance than Blake did.) 

Weiss pulled Blake into the giftshop, so they could do their end of visit shopping. The taller Schnee's adorned to the restroom. 

"The lions were so inspiring, Blake!" Weiss exclaimed from somewhere in the gift shop. "I'm already thinking up more puns on them." 

Blake's mouth flattened. She felt fear. 

Weiss got a small stuffed lion from the gift shop. She ran up to Blake and waved it around. "Look, Blake, it's a kitty! Do you see?" 

Blake looked at the lion. From this close, Blake saw that it was wearing a formal coat and had a ridiculous hat and monocle.

"Do you see, Blake?" Weiss said, "It's a  _dandy-_ lion!" 

Blake blinked.

The taller Schnee's appeared, now. "That's very clever, Weiss, darling," said pa Schnee, "But surely you're running out of words that rhyme with 'lion'." 

The four of them made their way out of the zoo to the parking lot. 

"Well," Weiss said, eventually, "I guess, but if you start using a _nya_ lagous words and concepts, rather than just the _mane_ ones, you open yourself up to all sorts of  _paw_ sibilities!" 

Blake lifted the plush snake off of her shoulders. Weiss regarded the snake, as Blake put the toy around Weiss's neck, like a scarf. It covered up to Weiss's nose. 

Blake then pulled on the snake's head and tail, constricting Weiss's face and, possibly, hopefully, her airflow. 

"Blrmph, nrrrrrrrrrrrr~" Weiss emitted. 

Blake smirked. She patted the snake's head. One of the taller Schnee's patted Blake's shoulder. 

 

 

 

 

(possibly canonical) Omake:

 

The next time Weiss saw the tall maid, they had words.

"For your information, Blake and I do  _not_ have a pet-play BDSM relationship," Weiss said. She crossed her arms and closed her eyes and straightened her back. 

The tall maid smirked. "Oh? Then why do I keep cleaning up sticks, collars, cat-ear headbands, laser pointers and balls of yarn off your floor?" 

Weiss blushed. "Th-there's perfectly normal reasons for those...."

"Also, you know your door doesn't lock, right?"

Weiss blushed harder. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT 2: I'm thinking it's more in character for Weiss to either not understand or willfully ignore the tall maid's comment, so I'm declaring the OMAKE non-canon. 
> 
> Well, that's the end of this satire arc. This last chapter attempted to add some black comedy and character development as well. 
> 
> In the next arc, Weiss tells Blake she loves her for the first time.


	20. Petty Rivalries, part 1: 'I Love You'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weiss finally tells a special someone in her life that she loves her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what I'm doing. 
> 
> So since this is nominally a canon-compliant fic, some people are noting that Crack!Weiss is notably different from her portrayal in the show, because she sings musical numbers rather than operatic solos, is silly all the time instead of only after she opens up a little, and has more overt unmet emotional needs rather than implied unmet emotional needs. And I hear you; I have been cognizant of the differences and OOC moments, and hopefully this chapter (which was one of the first conceived, so I always meant to add this in at some point, don't worry) addresses how Weiss might change between this and the series, somewhat.
> 
> And speaking of canon compliance, I recall that, in Remnant, red is the color associated with death and mourning? Not sure where that source comes from, but that's what I go with in all my RWBY fics.

Blake blinked awake. Weiss was hugging her, like always. She examined the room. It hadn't changed much; a new plush snake, some of Blake's stuff. Her slowly accumulating collection of clothes was currently being stored in Weiss's drawer, but there was talk of getting her her own dresser. Blake was fine with her tracksuit, but Weiss liked playing dress-up, so there was an accumulation of clothes that was put on Blake's body at some times but which Blake didn't really think of as her own. 

Weiss awoke. She yawned and stretched and fixed her medical eyepatch and hugged Blake tight and rubbed her nose in Blake's hair.

"Hey Blakey, " Weiss said, softly and blissfully, "You know what today is?" 

Blake blinked.

Weiss shifted into a sitting position. Blake's head slid onto her lap, and she was looking up into Weiss's face. "It's the one month anniversary since you've come to live with me! And since we met. And I guess since your first bath?"

Blake blinked. She wasn't going to confirm that for Weiss.

"So," Weiss smiled softly to the bedsheets and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "My dad says that it's bad luck to tell someone you love them before you've known them for one month, because if it turns out it was just, like, infatuation with the mental construct of that person based on incomplete information created by your perceiving self, you'll have so much egg on your face you won't even be able to deal. And that's not fun, Blake! That's not fun at all." 

Blake blinked. 

"So, what I'm saying is," Weiss said, with only the barest hint of a stutter. It took her a couple tries to make eye contact with Blake, but she did, and she said, "I love you, Blakey." 

Blake blinked. 

Blake blinked again. 

Weiss pulled Blake upright. She put her hands around Blake's shoulders and rubbed her cheek on Blake's neck. 

"There is a Blakey within my heart; Blakey~, Bla~key~" Weiss sang, rocking back and forth, slightly. "Blake-ing all day with her Blakey parts, my beautiful Blakey Bell(adonna)!" 

 Blake blinked. 

"Whether she loves me or loves me not, sometimes it's hard to tell~," 

Blake blinked again. 

"Sharing a piece of what quickens the rot, with beautiful Blakey Bell(adonna)!" 

During the refrain, Weiss adjusted her hug around Blake's head and increased the intensity of her rocking as she sang, until by the end the were in danger of flopping onto the bed, on their sides. 

"Bla~key, Bla~key, don't you know you're my boo," Weiss rocked Blake back and forth, blissfully. "I'm anxious and sha~key when I'm apart from you," Weiss said.

Blake could see how that could be true. 

"It won't be a stylish marriage~. I can't afford a carriage." 

Blake could not see how that could be true. 

"But you'll be sweet, upon the seat of a bicycle built for two~!" 

Blake, actually, didn't think she'd ever ridden a bicycle before. 

And, by now, Weiss had pulled Blake so that they were lying on the bed again. Weiss looked at the ceiling for a moment, and then looked towards Blake. 

"So," Weiss said. She blushed harder. "I love you, Blakey." Weiss then smooched Blake's nose. "Mwah!" 

Blake's ears lowered and her mouth flattened just a bit, but not in annoyance; embarrassment, maybe, but ninjas didn't get embarrassed, so it must have been some other emotion that Blake was feeling. Whatever.

Weiss refreshed her original smile. "So, um. Do you have anything to say, Blake?"

Blake opened her mouth. No words came out. 

Blake closed her mouth. She looked at the wall. Her face felt hot for some reason. Some stupid, silly reason that liked to sing too much. 

Weiss hugged Blake from behind. "It's okay, Blakey. I know words aren't your strong suit. I'll just have to love you for the both of us. Mwah!" Weiss smooched the back of Blake's head. "Mwah Mwah mwah!"

Blake's face felt a little hotter. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Weiss carried Blake to breakfast. Weiss had a giant smile, and Blake found herself more embarrassed than she usually did, as she eyed the maids and the staff they encountered on the way. 

At breakfast, Blake received a huge plate of pancakes. She started splitting the bounty. Nobody seemed to remark on the eating arrangements anymore, but the adult Schnees hadn't rescinded Weiss's nominal calorie limit either. 

Weiss smiled even harder when Blake flopped some pancakes onto Weiss's plate, which Weiss held out expectantly.

"Thanks, Blake, mwah!" Weiss smooched Blake's head. She rubbed her cheek on Blake's forehead, even though it meant that Weiss had to climb out of her chair. "I love you." 

"Oh, has it been a month already?" the taller Schnee- Weiss's father- said, "It seems, simultaneously, both shorter and longer than that."

"I didn't think that statue of limitations applied to things like pets or food or stuffed animals," the other taller Schnee said. "You could have been declaring your love for your little pet from the start." 

"No, I love Blake like a person," Weiss insisted. 

"You are completely free to think that," Weiss's mother deadpanned to her pancakes.  

"But I do!" Weiss pouted. She hugged Blake. "I love Blake! In fact, I love Blake even more than  _you_ , Mom!" 

 

 

 

Blake froze. The adult Schnees froze. (Blake froze with her mouth open, with a piece of pancake on the end of her fork a few centimeters from her tongue. It was not the most dignified position to freeze in.) 

All the staff edged out of the room. 

"I'm sure she meant that 'you' as a second subject, rather than a direct object-" said Mr. Schnee. 

"I can understand our daughter's intent just fine, pumpkin," the other taller Schnee said. She kept her voice steady and spoke with her eyes closed. "We have learned from our past mistakes," she said to her husband. Then she turned to her daughter. "So you can believe whatever you want to, Weiss, sweetie."

"I don't need to believe, because I _know_ I love Blake more than you!" 

Weiss tightened her hug. Blake looked between the Schnees.

"You are free to do so," the other taller Schnee deadpanned. She cut one of her pancakes.

"And Blake loves me more than you do, too!" Weiss said. She hugged Blake harder. Blake tried to worm out of the hug to eat better.

Weiss's mother closed her eyes and failed to hide her exasperation.  

“Weiss, sweetie, Blake only loves you because you feed her,” The other taller Schnee said. She rubbed her brow. “She'd love anyone who bought her fish and bacon every day." 

Weiss looked scandalized. She jumped out of her chair to hug Blake more completely, jostling the faunus as she did. “That’s not true! Blake loves me for me, forever!"

Blake reflexively tried to shrug Weiss off of her and reach for the food, like she did every time in the last month, but she caught herself in time. She rested her head against Weiss’s and gave the human girl a soft smile.

“Besides, Weiss, sweetie, Faunus aren’t capable of real love they way we think of it. You’re just projecting your emotions onto her. It's called 'anthropomorphism'."

Blake blinked. Weiss frowned harder. 

"And nobody loves anyone for who they are." Weiss's mother continued. "All relationships are transactional; unconditional love is a lie created by evolution and perpetuated by the corporate aristocracy to sell chocolates and dead flowers."

And Weiss's father blinked. 

"Except for your father and I," said Weiss's mother, quickly. "And both of us towards you. And you in return." 

Weiss's mother blinked, at her husband and her daughter. Then she sighed.

"Fine," she said, "I rescind my previous statement; unconditional love is real, and lots of people feel it, and it's definitely not a lie to foster long-term pair bonds to more efficiently use resources in populations and to commodify the abstract feeling of togetherness in materialistic form."

Weiss closed her eye and pulled Blake's head to her chest. "Well it's a good thing I have Blake and dad because otherwise I wouldn't even have _conditional_ love."

Blake made some 'stop now' gestures to Weiss. They failed to get through. 

Weiss's mother rubbed her brow harder.  "Weiss sweetie, the luxury to believe your parents hate you is one most children are too poor to have. I mean, the poorest children's parents actually do hate them. But yours do not, Weiss, and I for one do not need you to confirm my feelings towards you, but the fact that you think such things reflects poorly on your reasoning skills." 

Weiss said nothing. 

"We provide you a home, and we feed and cloth you. We've arranged for you to be tutored because you're afraid of institutionalized education. And we've even legally accommodated your kidnapping of a Faunus child so you can sap her body heat and chew on her ears when you feel the need to tempt a scandal. "

Weiss blushed slightly at that last bit, and she harrumphed and turned her head towards Blake even more. Blake blinked.

"Well," Weiss said, "Blake's still better than you." 

"Weiss sweetie, you may believe what you wish, but there is no set of logic that will support that conclusion, given the facts. "

"Well, maybe _you're_ wrong, mom, and Blake is cuter and smarter and snugglier and stronger than you." 

"Weiss sweetie," and the adult Schnee started appearing annoyed, at this point, "Those first three qualifiers are utterly irrelevant, and I could kick your little pet's overfed butt any day of the week, Weiss, sweetie."

"Nuh-uh! I bet the power of love makes Blake ten times stronger than you!" 

 _"Weiss, sweetie,_  that is a falsifiable claim." 

The argument continued.

"Yeah, well, Blake could kick your butt in a duel, mom! Because of love," Weiss stuck her tongue out. She squeezed Blake.

Blake narrowed her eyes at the adult. She nodded. 

"You know what? Fine. I accept your challenge, and after I win, you will have proof of your folly." 

 

 

 

The smart thing to do would have been to convince Weiss to drop it and comfort Weiss in private and stifle the negative feelings inside herself. Instead, Blake found herself agreeing to the duel. Maybe the comment about how Faunus don't feel love had something to do with Blake's eagerness to fight. Weiss expressed her confidence in Blake's abilities as she led the Faunus down to the sparring chamber and strapped the sparring armor onto Blake. (Blake was still in her pajamas.)

Seemingly, the entire staff appeared to watch the duel. It may have possibly made Blake nervous, having an audience, but since it was a weekday, it wasn't as mortifying as it could have been, as the weekday staff was sparser.

Blake and Mum Schnee walked to the center of the arena and bowed to each other. Weiss expressed her confidence in Blake.

Blake readied her weapons. The other taller Schnee pulled out her own rapier and entered a combat stance.

A machine signaled the start of the fight. 

Blake ducked left, and tumbled right, and then jumped into a decisive knock-out blow that would end the fight as soon as it began.

Or, at least, that was the plan. Possibly, the feint wasn't very convincing, and the tumble was clumsy, and wasting a couple of seconds to yell 'ryūjin no ken o kurae!' was probably a tactical blunder. 

And the next thing Blake knew, there was a flash and a 'whump' and Blake was knocked back. She lost her grip on her weapons. They landed with a clatter, a short ways away.

Blake hit the ground and rolled, bouncing twice.

And it didn’t hurt too much, not physically. But the shame kept her down. Blake exhaled.

Blake made to prop herself up, eventually. She eyed the battlefield and her opponent, who looked triumphant.

“There, Weiss sweetie. I should hope that should leave no doubt as to the superior-”

“Blaaaaaaaaaaakkkke!” Weiss called out. She ran to Blake’s side, picking up Blake’s head and upper torso and cradling the Faunus in her arms.

“Blake, are you alive?" Weiss said. Her voice was cracked with worry.

Blake blinked. She looked Weiss in the eye. 

Blake then looked at the other taller Schnee, who's expression was a combination of annoyance and the realization that, perhaps, things didn't quite go in her favor. Blake then had an idea. 

Blake flopped her limbs out and stuck her tongue out of the corner of her mouth and closed her eyes.

“ _ **bllleeeeeeeeeaaaaagghhh.**_ ”

“Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!” Weiss hugged the Faunus closer. Blake felt herself be lifted up in a bridle carry, with her head carefully tucked into the crook of Weiss's neck. “Don’t worry, Blake, I won’t let you die.”

Blake felt a little guilty. This was a move from the canines; hopefully the other cat Faunus wouldn't discover her treachery. Also, tricking Weiss felt bad.

“She’s not going to die, Weiss sweetie.” The other taller Schnee sounded more nearby and more conciliatory. Blake heard the sound of running and of doors being opened. “It's been _years_ since I've accidentally killed someone in a duel." 

"Well, then I hope you _weren't_ trying to kill her!" Weiss spat. She sounded angry. Blake smirked. 

"Weiss, sweetie, you have to know that I'd never do that to you-" 

"Blakey," Weiss said, talking over her mother, "Blakey you'll be okay, I promise." Blake then felt something wet on her forehead; Weiss had smooched her, but without the sound effect. 

Blake felt herself be tucked into a comfy bed. Medical machines were hooked onto her. They were cold and they smelled of disinfectant. And they beeped, like, all the time.

"Poor Blakey," Weiss said. She straightened out Blake's blankets and pillows. "Don't worry, you'll be all better soon, I promise."

"I'm sure she will be," Weiss's mother said. 

Weiss clutched Blake's hand. "When you wake up, just let me know if you need anything, Blakey. Anything at all." 

"Weiss, sweetie, I am aware you are ignoring me." 

Weiss didn't say anything. Blake cracked an eye open, and saw Weiss look longingly at her.

Blake pretended to wake up then, blinking her eyes rapidly and turning to Weiss.

"Blaaake!" Weiss said. She hugged Blake again. "Blake, you're conscious!" 

"Weiss sweetie, Blake was always conscious-" 

"Can't you see I'm busy, mom?" Weiss shot. She didn't turn her head when she spoke.

Weiss's mother looked taken aback. She moved to the back of the room. 

"I love you, Weiss," said her mother, "And one day you will see that I am doing my best for you."

Weiss continued ignoring her mother, in favor of Blake. 

Blake smirked in victory.

 

 

 

 

 -------------------- A POSSIBLE FUTURE ------------------------

 

 

They speak upon the highest hill, as if prayers can make them whole. Children clutch their red umbrellas, up above the sky is crying. There stands, stoutly, an opaque casket, crowned with gold and fresh-cut flowers, slowly dying. There stands, tall and proud, a portrait, black and white, a captured smile and innocent face and open eyes and, perhaps, a brilliant soul.   

A man speaks soft and slow and low, he longs for days that are no more, he shares three private moments, from what past that now just belongs to him, so that he bears not alone the burden of remembrance. 

A daughter, returned from war, speaks in trembling tinged with rage that shifts to pride and back again; of wistful anecdotes, of lessons she was taught that she etched in her heart and promises to keep. 

An unexpected adoptee speaks in a cracked monotone, of wishes of a different world, of apologies and meagre regrets, but also of tomorrows to create. 

The crowd bows heads in punctured silence. 

 

 

And back inside, away from the gathering of red, one young girl stands hunched over a sink, so that her tears won't make a mess. She is wreathed in brilliant funerary red, for why not look her best, at least once, for her mother?

Weiss sobs.

Blake stands at the door, also decked in mourning red. She clears her throat. "Weiss-" Blake says. 

"Why are you here, Blake?" says Weiss. 

Blake blinks. "You're supposed to give a speech-"

"No, why are you  _here_ , at the _funeral?"_   Weiss's eyes are puffy when she glares at Blake. Her voice was tinged with anger, instinctive and impotent. 

Blake doesn't know how to respond. "What?" is what she goes with. 

"You and mom  _hated_ each other. You don't think I knew?" 

"That's-" Blake says, "not true-" 

"And she was killed by _Faunus._  By _your people_." 

Blake blinks. She knows that Weiss blames Blake, but she manages to keep the hurt out of her voice. "Weiss," Blake says, "you have to know that  _I_ had nothing to do with that?" 

Weiss exhales some unsteady, pent-up breaths, and turns back to the sink. Her hair comes undone, slightly. 

"No, I know," Weiss says, not facing Blake. "I'm sorry. I just-" 

Weiss shudders some more. She sobs.

Blake steps forwards, and then stops. She clears her throat. "You know she would be very proud of you-"

"Oh, don't give me that," Weiss spits, she seethes, to her reflection, with as much strength as she can spare, "I was the biggest disappointment in her life. I never even tried to live up to who she wanted me to be. I never listened to her. I never- I couldn't even-

Blake tries to think of a counterpoint, but words aren't her strong suit. 

"And I can't even remember the last time I told her I loved her?" Weiss says, her voice heavy with the enormity of her regret, "I spent so much time trying to ignore her, and instead doing all that stupid bullshit for _you_ " 

Blake does not refute the claim. She turns away. She knows that Weiss blames Blake.

Weiss sniffed. "Mom deserved so much better than me, and now it's too late." 

Weiss sobs. Her hands come to her eyes, but she doesn't want to smear her makeup. She's already messed up so much for her mother, so she can at least look nice when she says her final farewell. 

Blake can't find the right thing to say. So she says nothing.

"Dad and Winter and- and even you, you could go out there and give her the admiration she deserved but I-" 

Weiss sobs. 

"My eulogy's a joke." Weiss says, "I guess it's fitting, for her joke of a daughter." 

Blake is pained. "Weiss-" 

"And I can't- I can't even get the nerve to go out there and give it. How am I going to live up to her if I can't- I can't even- I'm such a-" 

Weiss sobs again. 

Blake's nose twitches too, her facade crumbling.  "Weiss, is there anything-"

Weiss sniffs. "No. Just go, Blake." 

Blake blinks. 

"Just," Weiss says, more weakly, "Just go." 

Words were never Blake's strong suit. So she doesn't argue.

Blake leaves.

Weiss sobs. She doesn't give her eulogy. Everyone forgives her, except Weiss herself. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But right before her mother's remains are consigned to Dust, Weiss manages to say those four words she can't remember saying. 

Weiss breaks from the crowd, desperate and clumsy, and she collapses over the casket, annointing the black wood with tears. The ceremony is paused. Weiss wipes her eyes and speaks, clearly, steadily, finally;

"I love you, mom." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 ------------------- PRESENT DAY ------------------------

 

 

 

Weiss sat at Blake's side, looking worried. Weiss's mother stood, with perfect posture, in the corner of the room. She looked worried as well, but almost certainly not for the same reason that Weiss was. She watched her daughter tend to Blake for a while. Blake wondered if Weiss would be called to tutoring or something, or if maybe it only felt like this ordeal was taking hours. 

But whether it took a few minutes or a few hours, not once did Weiss look back to her mother. 

"Is your pillow comfy enough, Blake?"

Blake nodded.

"Are you thirsty? I can get you another a glass of water."

Blake shook her head. 

"Are your blankies the wrong color?"

Blake was tempted to nod, just to see what Weiss would do. 

And, eventually, Weiss made to leave, reluctantly.  

The other taller Schnee whispered something to her daughter, quietly enough that even Blake couldn't hear.

Weiss then ran out of the room.

And as the thumping of Weiss's footsteps faded, the adult Schnee turned to Blake. She moved faster than Blake expected and brought her face right to hers. 

"You know you're just an excuse, right?" spat the Schnee. Her face was coldly neutral, and her voice was low and tempered. She smelled like wilted lilacs and zinc. 

Blake blinked. 

"Weiss can't speak her mind, so she projects her thoughts onto _you._ She doesn't care about your feelings. You're just a doll to her. You're just an empty sound box that Weiss fills with the desires she can't express."

Blake blinked again. 

"You're just an excuse, Blake. Just. An. Excuse." 

Blake blinked. 

" _ **an excuse made necessary as a direct result of your methods of upbringing.**_ "

The other taller Schnee blinked. 

Then, she stood up and laughed. "Ahaha. Perhaps. Which is why you are permitted to live," said the woman, "in our house."

Blake failed to resist a smirk. " _ **and I**_ **a** **m** _ **fluffier.**_ " 

"Fine, fine," The Schnee waved the air, "If that is something that matters to you, then you may have superiority in your meaningless quality." 

Blake accepted her superior fluffiness. 

"And Weiss appears to enjoy pretending to be a nurse. Do play along for as long as she wants like a good little toy, won't you?" 

Blake resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at the woman. 

At this point, Weiss ran back in. 

"Blake!" Weiss said, "Mom says the best thing for internal bleeding is baby food, because babies are born full of sin, which cuts up their insides, and so their food is designed to cauterize them as they develop in the mortal world." 

Blake nodded. " _ **makes sense.**_ "

Then Blake realized what Weiss was getting at. 

Weiss sat next to Blake and pulled up a bottle of gross liquid that smelled like pea mash and gluttony and mewling, antediluvian emptyness and scooped some of the vile gelatinous abomination onto a spoon. 

"So open wide, Blake."

Blake eyed the putrid, malodorous psuedo-food with terror. She turned her head away, but Weiss grabbed her chin.

"No, kitty!" Weiss said, "I promised you'd get better, and this is how you get better! So  _open wide,_ Blake!" 

Weiss managed to force the spoon into Blake's mouth. Blake choked.  

Eventually, Blake stopped struggling and took her medicine. 

Right out side the room, Blake saw the other taller Schnee smile in triumph.

Oh well. Next time, Blake would be victorious. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OMAKE:

 

"But you'll be sweet, upon the seat of a bicycle built for two~!" 

Blake, actually, didn't think she'd ever ridden a bicycle before. 

And, by now, Weiss had pulled Blake so that they were lying on the bed again. Weiss looked at the ceiling for a moment, and then looked towards Blake. 

"So," Weiss said. She blushed harder. "I love you, Blakey." Weiss then smooched Blake's nose. "Mwah!" 

Blake's ears lowered and her mouth flattened just a bit, but not in annoyance; embarrassment, maybe, but ninjas didn't get embarrassed, so it must have been some other emotion that Blake was feeling.

Weiss refreshed her original smile. "So, um. Do you have anything to say, Blake?"

Blake opened her mouth. " _open the pod bay doors, Weiss._ " 

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm sorry, Blake. I'm afraid I can't do that." 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally I don't ask for comments, I just take them as they come, but I would be interested to know if this chapter landed. 
> 
> Next four chapters will be fluff, promise.


	21. Petty Rivalries, part 1.5: Uncertainty Blakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now to joke about death. This will go over well.

Blake pretended to be injured or sick or whatever for the rest of the day (After two cans Weiss thought Blake had enough baby food, and Blake got to enjoy real food). Blake then continued to pretend to be injured or sick or whatever all day Friday, when Weiss was at school. Part of it was because Weiss would come in between her lessons to hang out with and/or play with Blake, so Blake got to see enough of Weiss, and part of it was because Blake’s body heat had been warming the blankets for a long time and it was too warm to leave. Weiss got permission from the relevant parties to bring trays of food each mealtime (They had early breakfast on Friday so Weiss could feed Blake before she left for school). Weiss did _not_ get permission from the relevant parties (i.e. Blake herself) to feed Blake each mealtime, but Blake eventually relented, and decided that it wasn't weird to open her mouth on command as Weiss fed her soup and stew and mashed potatoes and other soft foods. 

And then, on Friday afternoon, The stocky maid appeared in the guest bedroom/makeshift infirmary. Blake recoiled.

The maid approached Blake and grabbed Blake's hand, “Oh, I almost gave up hope,” the stocky maid wiped away a tear, “ Weiss never took to being a princess; she always  _said_ that was what she wanted, but maybe she misunderstood what it meant, or she never fully grew into it. She hasn't played the princess part since you've taken it over, and I think she's been happier this last month, trying to figure out what role she wants to play, whether it be pirate or detective or warlord or criminal mastermind." 

"But from what the full time staff tells me of these last two days- Weiss truly has a caring heart; the heart of a prince!”

The stocky maid’s eyes were wide with… pride? Or wonder? Or maybe just mischievousness.

" _ **Weiss is**_ ," Blake said, incredulously, " _ **a prince.**_ " 

The stocky maid waved the air. "The concepts of ‘Prince’ and ‘Princess’ have become de-gendered over the years. Perhaps you've read ‘The Girl who would be Prince’, or 'The Revolution of the Rose Prince', or 'the Flame Witch's Princess', or..." 

That wasn't actually what Blake was getting at, but right now the maid continued to name obscure and oddly-named stories until Blake made her boredom more apparent. 

"But the point is," said the stocky maid, "that Weiss is truly devoted to you." 

_**"that was in doubt?"** _

The stocky maid chuckled. "I suppose not, but this- this is a classic set-up; the prince nurses the sick princess back to health."

Blake tried to think if that made sense or not. 

"And there's a way that it ends, too, and it's super romantic," further explained the stocky maid. 

 

 

 

“Young Mistress, come quick!” yelled the stocky maid, into the hall. 

The tall maid appeared, smiling wickedly. “Did you just say-" 

The stocky maid kneed the tall maid in the gut, with a jump.

 Weiss appeared, shortly after. “W-whats going on?”

“It’s Blake," explained the stocky maid, with acted worry, "she’s- she’s not breathing-

Weiss’s face devolved into tears and distress. She bit her fists. “Blaaaaakke!”

 Weiss ran to Blake's side. Blake had closed her eyes and tilted her head to the side and stuck her tongue out of the corner of her slightly open mouth. 

“No, Blake,” Weiss explained, “You have to breath or else you’ll die!”

Blake creaked her eye open to look at Weiss; her face was full of worry, and while it made Blake feel a little guilty, it was gratifying to see how much Weiss cared. 

At the stocky maid's behest, Blake followed the plan; she pursed her lips and prepared to be 'resuscitated'.

The stocky maid turned to Weiss. "So your parents enrolled you in that CPR class a while back-"

Then Weiss brought her hand up, high above her head. 

And before Blake could react, Weiss brought her hand down right into Blake's stomach. Blake's abdomen exploded in pain.

Blake bolted upright and clutched her stomach and coughed.

The stocky maid looked completely shocked. "That, umm, that wasn't CPR-" 

“Oh Blake!” Weiss hugged Blake around the shoulders. A tear fell onto Blake’s neck. “You learned to breath again! I’m so glad!”

Blake coughed some more. Weiss rubbed her cheek against Blake's forehead and then smooched Blake’s forehead. “Mwah!”

"<cough> Try relaxing and tightening your ab muscles," coughed the tall maid, towards Blake.

Blake tried. Maybe it helped. 

"Oh Blakey," Weiss continued, "I'm so glad you're okay. I missed you at school, you know? I need to restock on my Blake-adjacency meter."

Weiss 'mmmmm'ed into Blake's hair and mumbled nonsense. "You're so Blakey, Blakey." 

Weiss's statement was accurate. Blake's coughs grew less intense. Her stomach throbbed less. 

“Aren’t you such a Blakey, Blakey?"

Blake blinked.

"Yes you are,” Weiss said, “You’re just a Blakey, aren’t you, Blakey?”

" **no**." Blake's face was serious. 

Weiss pulled back. Her hands were still on Blake’s shoulders. Her expression was leaning on the quizzical side of neutral and she looked Blake in the eyes, expectantly. 

“ _ **I’m**_ **the** _ **blakey**_." 

Weiss winked. 

Then she brought her hand to her mouth and emitted a high-pitched squeaking noise. The tall maid and the stocky maid covered their ears. 

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! You’re so right, Blakey!"

Weiss hugged Blake again.

“You’re so cute, Blakey-"

 _ **“but,”**_ Blake said, “ _ **i'm cool, too?"**_ Blake immediately wished she said it as a statement, because it sounded like she was unsure of herself. And it wasn't like she needed Weiss's validation or anything. 

Weiss smiled. “Of course. You’re so cool and that's what makes you so cute, Blakey!" 

_" **but more cool than cute**."_

Weiss giggled. "Of course, snuggly-Blakey-poo." 

Blake wondered how much she should trust Weiss's words. 

"But the point I was getting at," Weiss said, "Is that you’re too cute to die, Blakey." Weiss continued rubbing her cheek on Blake's forehead. 

The tall maid stopped coughing and stretched. "I think it's more like she’s too cute to live. That's the saying, right?"  

"But she's too cool to die," explained the stocky maid. 

"Do they cancel out?" asked the tall maid. 

"Yes, she’s in the superposition of cute and cool so that she is unable to die while still being unable to truly live."

Weiss hugged Blake's head again and rocked side to side. "Poor Blakey, you're like some quantum uncertainty kitty. But don't worry, I can help you figure out just what you are." 

Blake wondered if she'd ever know the answer to that too. 

 

 

 

 

 

Omake

 

"So I guess," parsed the stocky maid, "A prince's heart doesn't quite make up for an empty head." 

Blake agreed. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I can't believe it took me this long to include a 'Schrodinger's cat' reference. I'll make up for it with this late Omake for chapter 7: 
> 
> (This is just wrong enough to support the joke. I'm not actually smart enough to make physics jokes.) 
> 
> Blake preferred to kill time by lying on the ground. It was her favorite activity.
> 
> "Blakey!" exclaimed Weiss. She ran to Blake and hugged her.
> 
> "What's Blake doing?" asked Weiss's parents.
> 
> "Well you see," Weiss explained, "All matter is actually composed of vectorized probability. The four fundamental forces interact with each other to give the appearance of existence, and since all our senses rely on the interpretations of the probability wobbles, we say that we can 'perceive' matter as actually existing in a singular state, even though there's many different configurations of matter that we could determine with powerful enough instruments."
> 
> Weiss propped Blake upright. Blake fell down sideways once Weiss let go of her. "So at the atomic level, whether or not something is in a given atomic state is actually not determined until someone makes a measurement. For example, many things can act as either a particle or a wave, but until we look close enough, we can't determine if it's one or the other."
> 
> "So say we put a radioactive materiel under a radio spectrometer and hook that up to a valve on a jar of poison. And we put a kitty in a box with the jar. Since we don't actually know whether or not the radioactive material decayed or not until we measure it, we don't know if the valve on the poison is ever released, and thus we don't know if the kitty is alive or dead until we check."
> 
> "But the thing is, until we check, the radioactive material behaves as if it both did and did not decay, so the kitty is both alive and dead at the same time, and that's what Blake's doing!"
> 
> Weiss hugged Blake harder. "The moral of the story is, that all kitties are in a superposition of life and death until somebody looks at them under a microscope! And that's why Blake's so floppy."
> 
> Blake blinked. _**"in the social sciences, it's called 'being depressed'."**_


	22. The Tooth Fairy, part 1: The Law of One Price

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blake loses a tooth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i'm sure there's people who haven't seen Nisemonogatari and were reading chapter three all like "lolwut? Why is this here?" The answer is this chapter. I mean, the Nise reference was a big part of it, but there was another reason for that scene, and 19 chapters later, here's the payoff.
> 
>  
> 
> Any similarities between any of the proper nouns or concepts in this fic and any real life proper nouns or concepts are _completely_ intentional, and meant to offend.
> 
> EDIT: On first post, I totally didn't finish the 'economy of teeth' bit, so that's fixed now. My bad.

Weiss had her fingers in Blake's mouth very often. Blake didn't mind, though she'd never admit that having clean, polished teeth nowadays felt better than the alternative. 

So Blake didn't mind when, once one of her baby teeth started getting loose, Weiss developed a fondness for, occasionally, sticking her thumb on Blake's chin and opening her mouth and sticking her opposite hand in Blake's mouth and wiggling Blake's loose tooth. Weiss already played with several of Blake's body parts. 

"You're so toothy, Blakey!" Weiss said. She hugged Blake and rubbed her cheek on Blake's hair. "I love you, toothy Blakey. Mwah!"

In the past, Blake's loose teeth would come out when she ate bread or meat or other gummy stuff. But earlier today, Weiss took Blake to the vet, who specialized in teeth and who told Weiss that Blake's tooth was loose enough to pull, if Blake were so inclined. 

Blake didn't have the chance to answer before Weiss stuck her thumb on Blake's chin and opened her mouth and stuck her opposite hand in Blake's mouth and grabbed Blake's loose tooth and pulled. 

“Blake! You lost a toothy!” Weiss said. 

Blake clutched her mouth for a moment before she remembered she was this stoic badass ninja, and then she closed her mouth and lay still. She ran her tongue along the new hole in her smile. 

"Too be fair," said the vet, hefting some horrible steel contraption, "It was either Weiss just yanking it out, or using the Shark Tooth Extractor. I think this way worked out better." 

Weiss waved the bloody wedge of bone in the air. And then, because there weren't enough people to show it to, she picked Blake up with her other arm in a way that made Blake's feet drag on the floor, and ran around the mansion, waving both Blake and Blake's tooth at whoever would listen. Then she returned Blake to the vet, for the followup medical aid. 

“Now Blake,” Weiss giggled, “You’re slightly _less_ toothy! But I still love you. Mwah!" 

The vet looked over the freed tooth and complimented Blake on her impeccable dental hygiene.

"Thanks!" Weiss answered for her. Then she turned to Blake. “Now, we have to inform my mom and/or dad so the tooth fairy can make an appointment tonight." Weiss explained. 

 

 

Weiss's mother was at the big desk in the big, windowless office that smelled of dust and white-collar crime, with the accountant, doing rich people paperwork or something. When Weiss pulled Blake in and her daughter started some spheal about teeth, Weiss's mother smiled earnestly and nodded and, at some point, grimly congratulated Blake on her achievement of a natural, automatic process that was a normal part of aging. 

"And Blake and I were going to save up our teeth money for a trip to Corporate Mouse Land." Weiss eventually said. It was news to Blake. 

“Weiss, sweetie,” said Mum Schnee,”You know that Corporate Mouse Land is just a lie that parents tell their children to get them to behave. And we respect you too much to let you get caught up in materialistic hedonism." 

Later, Blake would joke with some of the maids that she thought getting caught up in materialistic hedonism was the whole point of being rich.

“But-” Weiss said. She bit her lip. “Some of the kids at school said they went there-”

“They probably went to a regular amusement park that leased some corrugated Corporate Mouse stands and set them up at random amusement park. Or maybe they hired a corpuscent Corporate Mouse corporator to clown around as Corporate Mouse for an afternoon."

“But-

“Why do you want to go to Corporate Mouse Land anyway?”

_**“i am also perplexed.“** _

Weiss turned to Blake and appeared aghast.

"What? You've haven't heard of- The Corporate Mouse is the bestest, most corposant mouse ever!” Weiss said. “He buys out your childhood memories and then pays screenwriters and computer graphics engineers to bring your dreams to life, bigger and better and more marketable than ever! Like, Corporate Mouse owns brands like Super Serious Space Opera Laser Swordfighers, Inanimate Objects with Arbitrary Feelings, Heteronormative Hereditary Monarchs Just Looking For Love, and Violent Authoritarian Pajama Vigilantes!"

Blake didn't see the appeal of any of those. Blake also thought she caught Weiss's mother sniffle her nose. 

"Weiss, sweetie, I'm sure those are very interesting to certain types of people, but Blake is a Faunus, and none of those intellectual property franchises are interested in being interesting to people like her."

Blake hated to agree with Mum Schnee, but when she was right, she was right. Blake nodded. 

"But the Corporate Mouse himself is also super cool! He has a TV show and stuff!" 

“Weiss, sweetie, the Corporate Mouse isn’t real.”

“I mean," Weiss said, "I know there’s no actual corporal Corporate Mouse, but there's lots of Corporate Mouse corporate corpuscles who run committees that decide what the Corporate Mouse should be doing-"

"Weiss, sweetie, that's called a corporation. There are a lot of those, you know." 

"But- but they make Corporate Mouse _real_ ," Weiss pouted. Her eye's widened and watered and her mouth wobbled. 

Weiss's mother lasted even less longer than Blake did against Weiss's pouty face. She sighed.

"I mean, Weiss, sweetie," said Weiss's mother. While she talked, she walked around her desk to face her daughter. "What I meant was, just because the Corporate Mouse isn't real in the real way, doesn't mean Corporate Mouse isn't real in a different way. The Corporate Mouse is a metaphor, but is also an identifiable set of cognitive stimuli that produce a predictable set of reactions. There's Corporate Mouse corpuscles all around Remnant; every time an executive overrides an aspect of an artist's vision in order to make it more marketable; that's Corporate Mouse. Every time a team of laywers files an intellectual property lawsuit to extend their client's royalty duration; that's Corporate Mouse. Every time a third-rate Vale company uses up valuable petrochemicals to mold into brittle tchotchke facsimiles of big-eyed fictional characters,  _that's_ Corporate Mouse." 

Weisses mother kneeled before Weiss. "So you see, Weiss sweetie," she held out her arms," As long as you believe in Corporate Mouse, he can be corporeal to _you."_  

Weiss's mother hugged her. Weiss didn't return the hug. "So it would be silly for the Corporate Mouse Corp to maintain a chain of lucrative amusement parks and tour lines around Remnant," Weiss's mother pulled out of the hug, "because Corporate Mouse is an idea, and ideas live in your heart." Weiss's mother put her hand on her daughters chest.

“Ummm,” Weiss looked down, “Okay. It's just, 'Corporate Mouse Land' just sounded like fun….”

“Weiss, sweetie, you know that we can pay any corporation to do any number of degrading things to entertain you." Weiss's mother smiled at the wall and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "And you know, your father and I have our _own_ corporation, if you think-"

“Yeah, but,” Weiss said, “I wouldn’t want to be a burden. If there was an amusement park that already existed that was peddling the Corporate Mouse visage for money, then we could just go along with it. I thought we could enjoy the tradition." 

The other taller Schnee refreshed her warm smile, though Blake thought it looked a little forced. “Well, perhaps you can use your time more productively then.”

 Weiss's mother coughed. "So you should prepare Blake a bed, or at least give her a pillow for her basket, so that the tooth fairy knows where to look."  

 Weiss then brightened up. "Okay, Yeah! I'll get one of the maids!" 

Weiss then bounded out the door, down the hallway.

Blake stuck around. She held up a finger-

“Thank you for trying to dissuade her,” said the other taller Schnee. She walked back behind her desk and started doing rich people things. 

Blake blinked.

Then Blake held up a finger except more so-

“I realize you have never been briefed,” said the other taller Schnee, “But we are maintaining the fiction the the Corporate Mouse does not maintain any amusement parks in this reality."

Blake’s eyebrows flattened.

"We will, however, let our sweetie worship what she likes." Then the adult's nose sniffled again, and her voice cracked, just a little when she next spoke. "I just hope, one day, our Weiss-y develops better taste in corporations. And vertebrate quadrepeds, aha." The last laugh sounded forced.  

But Blake agreed with that at least. Blake would munch into mincemeat any mousey that thought they was better than her, regardless of how many lawyers they employed.

Mum Schnee expressed gratitude at Blake's agreement, in the form of a bag of fish-flavored snack food. Blake munched them eagerly.

But Blake remembered something.

Blake procured a Scroll with net access. She used a popular search engine as a verb to find the location of the nearest Corporate Mouse Land.

“Well, yes, there certainly are physical locations in this reality where the Corporate Mouse leases out his Corporial corposants, but we would prefer not to encourage our sweetie's worship of any golden calves."

Blake blinked. She nodded. Then she left, nodding to the accountant on the way out. 

 

 

 

 

It was decided that Blake would sleep in Weiss's bed, tonight. Blake wondered if it mattered that this was the normal sleeping arrangement. During her oral hygiene time, Weiss poked at the gum in Blake's mouth where her tooth used to be. 

 

 

 

 

Blake awoke. Weiss lay on top of her, hugging her around the waist, and was drooling onto her stomach.

Then Weiss yawned awake and nuzzled Blake's stomach. Maybe her nose got a little wet. 

“Blakey!" Weiss said, "You're conscious! Yay! Mwah!" Weiss smooched Blake's nose. 

Blake blinked.

Weiss moved Blake off her pillow "And look!" Weiss pointed to a small manila envelope, "Looks like the tooth fairy took your tooth!"

Weiss picked up the envelop. She shook it and frowned.  

“Wait..."

 Weiss opened the envelope and counted the money.

Then she blinked.

“Mooooooom!"

 

 

 

Weiss dragged Blake, both of them still in their pajamas, into the big, windowless office that smelled of dust and white-collar crime.

“Mom!” Weiss said, “How come _I_ get 100 lien per tooth but Blake only got 25?”

“Well,” said the other taller Schnee, “I am not an expert in the economy of teeth-"

"Well," Weiss said to the accountant, "How about you?" 

The accountant visibly sweated and shirked down into a corner. "I- that's really  _really_ not my specialty. I don't think there's even any tax loopholes in tooth collecting. It's not quite dentistry, so the sadism laws don't apply-. "

“This is totally unfair! The tooth fairy is the only market for teeth so there shouldn’t be any arbitrage potential to violate the law of one price!" 

“Aww, look at how smart you’ve gotten, Weiss sweetie-” The other taller Schene rubbed her daughters head. 

Weiss swatted away her mother’s hands. “Mooom! This is serious!" Weiss pouted. "I take such good care of Blake's teeth, they should be worth as much as  _mine_ , because they're maintained under identical circumstances!" 

Weiss's mother blinked.

"And that's very responsible of you. But perhaps maintenance won't make up for deficiencies in the original product." 

"Additionally," added the accountant, "If the tooth fairy has a monopsony- that is, if she's the only one buying teeth- then we can't really argue with how much she's willing to pay for them." 

"But it's not  _fair,_ " Weiss said.

"Life isn't fair, sweetie." Weiss's mother said, "I thank Dust every day that we're rich, so that it's unfair in our favor."  

Weiss pouted. "Fine, okay. But it's not economically consistent!" 

 The accountant nodded. "Yes, that is rather unforgivable." 

Weiss's mother glared at her accountant, before turning back to argue with her daughter. 

They continued to use rich people alternate reality words and concepts. Blake tuned out.

 

 

Blake tuned back in when Weiss addressed her.

“So don't worry, Blakey," Weiss said, in all earnestly, "We’re going to just go ask the tooth fairy why she's a big dumb jerk, and then we'll lobby for an increase in your pay per tooth and for the payment of back wages." The accountant gave Weiss a book about market economies, in case it helped. Apparently, the accountant's pallid, wiry coat was spacious enough to accommodate several economics books, at all times. 

Weiss ran out.

Blake stuck around. She turned to Weiss's mother and held up a finger.

“ _ **so to be clear,**_ ” Blake said, “ _ **we tell Weiss that corporate mouse land doesn’t exist, but the tooth fairy is real.**_ ”

“The tooth fairy _is_ real, Blake,” said the Schnee, without looking up. 

Blake blinked.

Blake nodded. “ _ **understood.**_ ”

Because ideas live in your heart and that makes them real or some bullshit. 

 

 

For the rest of the week, Weiss ran around asking the maids if any of them had loose teeth, and if so, if they would consider removing them early (for appropriate compensation), and if they would help them catch that stingy tooth fairy jerk. (The stocky maid made a joke about class-ism, but the gaunt maid pointed out that, technically, Blake was the same status as the Schnees, and that they, as maids, were the lower class. This revelation didn't go over very well.) 

And it turned out the young maid had a loose tooth, and was willing to let the vet yank it out in the shark tooth extractor. And, apparently, the young maid had always wanted to meet the tooth fairy, hence the eagerness to volunteer.

So on that Friday night, they had the young maid spend the night in one of the mansion's guest rooms. After Weiss bathed herself and Blake and brushed both of their teeth, Weiss set up a camouflaged tent in the guest room and pulled Blake in to prepare the stakeout. 

 

 

 

 

"So Blake" Weiss whispered, while they were in their hiding place, "This is almost like camping! Are you having fun, Blakey?" 

Blake blinked. Camping was overrated. 

Weiss hugged Blake. "So, do you want to do some camping things, Blake?"

Blake did not. Also, their sleeping bags were less comfy than the massive, goose down mattress that Weiss slept on. Blake worried she was being too used to luxury. She didn't say anything, because Weiss didn't seem to mind. 

"How about a spooooooky story, Blakey?"

Blake stuck out her tongue.

Weiss smooched Blake's nose again. "Mwah! Oh Blakey, you're so funny."

Weiss then cleared her throat. "Once upon a time," Weiss said, "There was a princess in a kingdom that was at constant war with the Grimm." 

Blake blinked. So this was like most kingdoms in Menagerie, she didn't say. 

Weiss's voice steadily fell into a low, ominous monotone. "The princess waged a constant war against the unknowable creatures of darkness. She lost her parents, her siblings, and her lover to the dwellers in shadow, until all that remained was her empty home and hardened heart." 

Blake blinked. 

"So one day, in an empty castle, with nothing left but darkness in her soul, she vowed to get her revenge."

"She wandered past the bridge that led into the forest of the Grimm, prepared to die fighting, but she hoped she could find the source of the blasphemous monsters whose tortured grasps had shattered so many lives." 

"She fought small bands of Grimm, but nothing she couldn't handle. She walked deeper and deeper into the forest." 

"And then, she saw a bridge. It was similar to the one that led out of her own kingdom, and on it's other side was a village that looked like the one her own castle overlooked, and in the distance, was a castle that looked like her own home." 

"She had just gotten turned around. The princess sighed in relief as she made her way back to her own castle. Perhaps Dust didn't intend for her to die, today, and had thus led her back to her kingdom." 

"And as the princess walked along the cobblestones of her village, she saw no lights in the house windows, and heard no bustle of any villagers. But it was foggy, so perhaps they were all waiting out a storm." 

"And the princess returned to her castle, and it was empty, but that was normal, since she had lost everyone she ever loved to the Grimm. Her footsteps echoed through the empty castle."

"And she took a seat in her broken throne and sighed, but as she did she heard the growling of Grimm."

"They emerged from the shadows, all around her! They growled their eldritch chants! The princess drew her weapon and held her arms aloft, ready to strike!"

"But the unholy creatures of Grimm didn't attack. And then the princess glimpsed her hands; they were black with decay and swirled with disquiet." 

"She ran to the nearest mirror, and the Grimm made way before her. The princess touched the red-lined mask that was now her face."

"And the grumblings of the Grimm now made sense to her; they were saying, 'Welcome home, my princess'." 

"Because with nothing but darkness and the thought of revenge in her heart, the Princess had become what she once hunted, and her home was now a sin-wracked mirror of what she once beloved in."

Blake realized she was shivering. She really wished Weiss would hug her.

And her wish came true. Weiss hugged her, and her voice was the normally cheery tone that, Blake suddenly realized, was very comforting. "So what do you think, Blakey? Spoooooooky, right?" 

Blake pushed Weiss's face. But not hard enough to dislodge her embrace.

"Blake nooooo!" Weiss squealed in terror, or perhaps delight. 

They went to sleep shortly afterwards.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blake awoke. The windowstill creaked open, wafting in the smell of Dust and cold night air. A middle-aged woman in a ridiculous white dress, besotted with fangs and mandibles, stepped into the room. Blake didn't know which of those occurred first.

Weiss was still asleep. 

Blake didn't know if she was too surprised to move, but she watched the tooth fairy pluck the tooth from under the young maid's pillow and replace it with a small envelope. 

Then Blake remembered what she was supposed to be doing, and she shook Weiss awake.

Weiss immediately sprang into action. She jumped out of their tent. "Stop right there tooth fairy-"

The woman turn and waved a sparkly wand. Magic missiles erupted out and arced towards Blake and Weiss. 

Weiss held out her hands and an octogon of runes materialized. Two of the missiles burst against it. The rest dissipated against the tent. Blake didn't know enough about magic to know if she almost died or not.

Then the fairy jumped backwards, out the open window. Purple mist swirled into a spiral vortex, and the woman vanished into it. 

The young maid dashed to the window and held thin arms aloft at the corners of the magical nexus.

"Go! I'll keep tha port'l open for ya." yelled the maid.

Weiss pulled on Blake's arm. "C'mon, Blake! We don't have a lot of time- the maid can't hold it open forever!" 

"Hrrngh," grunted the maid, "Ya 'ave ninety minutes, I'm thinking." 

Blake blinked. 

"Um." Blake managed to say, clearly and articulately, "What."


	23. The Tooth Fairy, part 2: The Truth of the Tooth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ummm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm going to say that at least 80% of the information in this chapter is scientifically accurate, at least according to prevailing theories.
> 
> EDIT: Also, because you kind of need to know this bit of germanic folklore to get a plot important joke, the 'Krampus' is sort of an evil Santa Clause.

"Well, git on wid it, then!" yelled the young maid. 

Blake blinked. She slapped herself in the face. 

"No Blake!" Weiss grabbed Blake's hand. "Don't do that! That hurts you!" Weiss rubbed Blake's cheek.

Weiss climbed up onto the window still. She smiled and held out her hand to Blake.

Blake blinked. She took the hand-

And Weiss pulled Blake out the window into the swirling vortex. The world sort of squished in places and stretched in others. 

"And tell tha toof fairy 'hey' fer me!" called the young maid, "I always wanted ta meet 'er!" 

The world turned purple and then it turned black. 

 

 

 

Aaaaaaannnnd- 

Blake hit the ground. She opened her eyes.

The first thing that hit Blake was the smell. It smelled like some sort of sugar overdose cherry cream soda squeaky-disco love ballad. Blake reflexively gagged.

And there was too much white in the scenery. Like, the world was some sort of crayon drawing on a doting grandparent's refrigerator. 

Fields of rotoscoped flowers with a saturated color pallet without borders lined a gold cobblestone pathway, that lead to some stupid bullshit rainbow on the horizon, and stupidly happy fairies flew buzzed around them.

Weiss grabbed both of Blakes hand and skipped backwards, pulling Blake into the garish color world.

"Blakey, isn't this great?" Weiss said.

"Whyyyy?" Blake yelled at the world. She was surprised at how her voice sounded.

"why-  _why-_ **"** Blake cleared her throat. 

" _ **WHY DOES THIS PLACE EXIST.**_ "

Blake was hyperventilating. 

 Weiss booped Blake's nose. Blake frowned. "Oh, silly Blakey," Weiss giggled, "You just need to look on the bright side! It's easy, because this place is so well lit!"

" ** _I_ _REFUSE_."**  

Weiss skipped in front of Blake and stood up on her toes and waved her arms and closed her eye. Fairies flew around her and somewhere, some sort of contralto voice harmonized with her. 

"Oh, Blake~ Don't be so blue~" Weiss sang, in C major seventh, resolving to D minor. She spun around so that her nightgown poofed out. "All about, there's so much happiness for you~" 

During the next phrase, a giant mershmellow appeared besides Weiss. They danced together.

"Oh Blake~," Weiss sang, a step higher than the first line, "Look around~!  You'll see that joy and life and wonders just abound~"

Blake tripped Weiss.

"Ooof!" said Weiss.

Blake then made the fairies disperse. She pounced on the walking mershmellow and took a bite out of it. It turned out to be a puppet, which the puppeteer dropped before running away. Blake spit out the foam and hissed at the entire world.

Blake threw a rock at the rainbow on the horizon. It cracked at the impact site, and the cracks traveled all the way up the length of the rainbow. Then it shattered, falling in pieces below the hills.

Weiss got back up before Blake could set fire to the place. Blake ran over and helped her up.

"Oow~" Weiss rubbed her elbow. Blake felt guilty, just a bit. Blake then shooed away more fairies.

The world seemed to take the hint, and it adopted an art style more to Blake's liking. The sky clouded over, shadows became high-contrast, and there were more reds and blacks in the lighting. But it was still, clearly, a stupid sugar giggle pit.

The puppeteers waved corrugated cutouts of shadows, around the two of them. They made 'Aboogie-woogie-wooo" noises as they did. Blake allowed it.

Blake tried to block out most of the journey, but eventually they followed the cobblestone path to find themselves before-

An office building. Huh. That was refreshingly normal. 

Blake gave one last hiss at the fruity rumpus rainbow sparkle world before she followed Weiss inside. 

It was mostly empty. There were tiles on the floor and humming fluorescent lights on the ceiling. There was a receptionist's desk, in the middle of the room.

Weiss walked up to the receptionists desk. Her footsteps echoed. The receptionist looked bored and distracted. 

"Um," Weiss leaned up on her tip toes and tapped the desk, "We're here to see the tooth fairy?" 

"The tooth- oh. Yeah. Second floor, third door on the left."

"Okay, thanks!" Weiss said.

Blake followed Weiss through the building, up the stairs, and through a normal looking office door. 

 

 

 

 

 

The tooth fairy was sitting a large mahogany desk, counting teeth and filling out paperwork. There was a dresser and a changing booth and a cot and a refrigerator in here as well and a personal computer in the room. 

The woman flickered green eyes towards them, briefly, as they entered. From up close, she smelled like chalk and peppermint and old parchment. 

"Oh, I guess you've caught me," she said, a little anticlimatically. 

"Yes!" Weiss cheered. "Does this mean we get a wish?" 

"Oh, no; fairies don't grant wishes; we trick people." 

"Oh no! Did you trick us?" 

"Oh yes, in many ways," The tooth fairy smiled.

"Oh nooo!" Weiss said. She clutched her cheeks like she was in a Munch painting. "What tricks have you played on us?" 

"Well, for one, I'm  _not_ actually a fairy," said the woman. 

"Oh my gosh, you tricked us!" 

Blake's mouth flattened.

"I did." said the woman, "But for your efforts, I'll answer one question from each of you, as in depth as I can." 

Blake's ears and her expression flattened. "So <cough> _so you're not_ a _fairy, but you're_  the _tooth fairy._ " she stated. It wasn't a question, so it got around the loophole.  

"There's more than one tooth fairy," waved one of the tooth fairies, "And fairies aren't real. I'm just a woman in a costume." 

" _There are fairies in your front yard._ " 

"In our theme park? Those are glamered dragonflies."

Blake nodded. It explained why they were so tasty. 

The tooth fairy stared at Blake, with a serious face. "And we'll be billing you for the damages, by the way, Blake." 

Blake tried to look nonchalant. 

The tooth fairy checked her watch. "And I'm only in costume for about ten more minutes, so if you had tooth business to discuss, you'd better hurry up."  

"Oh!" Weiss then found her angry eye. "Yeah, you big dumb jerk! We did have business!" Weiss slammed her fist down on the desk. "Here's _my_  question: why did you give  _me_ more money for my teeth than Blake?" 

The tooth fairy leaned in her seat. "Why do you think we collect teeth, Weiss?" 

"Do you-" Blake coughed. " _ **do you eat them** **?** **"**_

Weiss tapped her chin. "It would explain why the payment per tooth hasn't depreciated in value despite the years of population growth. If they're consumable, then there will always be demand for them."

The tooth fairy laughed. "Oh, no, but that would be funny. No-" she began. 

The tooth fairy pushed a pile of teeth forward onto her desk.

"Teeth contain a portion of the innocence of the person they came from. Well, all body parts do, but teeth are also portable and fall out on their own. It'd be awkward otherwise, ahaha,"

Neither Blake nor Weiss laughed. 

"Ahem," The tooth fairy, "So since innocence is derived from hope, and hope is the opposite of despair, baby teeth serve as decent weapons against the creatures of Grimm. They don't replace training, skill with a weapon or semblance, or magic, but they're good emergency ammunition. They've certainly helped _me_ out of a few close calls." 

Weiss's mouth made an 'oooh' in understanding. 

"But wait; how does this relate to why you're paying less for Blake's teeth?"

"Blake is less innocent than you."

Blake scrunched her mouth to the side. It was an accurate statement. 

"So tooth maintenance doesn't have anything to do with it?"

"We would prefer not to have black, cavity-ridden teeth in our pockets during a fight, so we do take tooth quality into account when we collect. But it doesn't matter to the Grimm how well you brushed, so it's not a large factor."

Weiss nodded and cogitated. "I also had-" 

"Aaaand," The tooth fairy checked her watch, "Time's up. Now there is no tooth fairy, in this geographic region, until tomorrow night." 

The former tooth fairy removed her headpiece, and let a braid of platinum blonde hair swing across her shoulders. She opened her desk drawer and pulled the sparkly part off her wand, placing it in her desk and pulling out the end of a riding crop, which she affixed to her wand. She waved the crop towards the drawer and it opened, magically, and some clothes flew into the changing booth. The woman followed suit.

"So what do you do after you're done being the tooth fairy?" Weiss ventured.

"Today?" said the woman, from inside the booth, "I have to grade some term papers." 

The woman stepped out, dressed in a plain white button down shirt with black bow and business skirt. she flicked her hand at her desk and a pair of purple cats-eye glasses floated towards her. She caught them and placed them on her face in a way that she probably thought was really cool. Blake wasn't jealous. 

"Are you any other quasi-dieties?" 

"Yes, actually." The woman adjusted her glasses and smiled, "There's not a lot of regular gigs for the other ones, but I'm also the Blue Fairy, for when someone wants to be 'made real'," The woman turned towards her dresser and waved her crop. A blue dress peaked out.

"And I'm the Red Queen for when evolution needs a driving factor." The woman did her wand thing and a red dress popped up out of the dresser. 

"And I spent four weeks as a Stork before I swore I'd never take up the gig again-" The woman shivered. The dresser spat out something like a plague doctor outfit. 

"Wait, if you were a Stork, shouldn't you have a better supply of pieces of the innocent?" 

"Oh, you'd think so, but it turns out that you need empathy to have innocence and and self-awareness to have hope, and babies are just screeching hedonistic vessels of gluttony and avarice until they hit three years old or so." The woman shivered, "And even if they weren't, there is  _no way_  I'm ever bringing a bag of placentas and umbilical cords into battle. Eeeerrrughgh." 

"What about the puberty fairy?

"Oh, you didn't know? 'Adulthood' is an infectious disease, spread by an intergalactic entropy vector."

Weiss winked. "No it's not," she said. 

"Okay, you got me. But Puberty Fairies are called, " she said, "'Endocrinologists', for the people who don't grow up right."

“Are you also the Krampus?"

“Ahahaha,” the fairy laughed, “I _already_ get paid to punish bad little girls, and the good ones give _me_ presents.”

Weiss winked. Blake blinked. 

The part time tooth fairy waved the air. "That may have come out creepy. I assure you it's all consensual and legal." 

Blake cleared her throat. “ _Intriguing_ ,” Blake rubbed her chin, “I'll use my question: how would one go about properly punishing bad little girls?”

Weiss’s mouth wobbled. “W-why would you need to know that, Blake?” she lilted. 

“Well,” began the woman, “There are three kingdoms of sadomasochism; physical, emotional, and power-play."

Blake nodded, twice. 

"Physical sadomasochism involves erotically causing pain. Some people, either because they were born that way or because they cultivated a mental association, derive pleasure from pain. It's usually in varying degrees, so some people are into knifeplay, while more people prefer not to break the skin. It's important to know what your sub is comfortable with."

"Most people, though, have a collection of nerves around their," The temporary tooth fairy turned and pointed to her butt, "aha, _badonkadonk,_ so spanking in that area can trigger the pleasure response. regardless of their other kinks."

Blake nodded. Weiss's mouth wobbled. 

"Emotional sadomasochism involves erotically hurting someone's feelings. A lot of people, mostly subconsciously, begin to associate sources of stress with sources of pleasure in a way to reclaim those experiences. Not all stress and not all people, and in some cases this creates an unhealthy negative feedback loop that makes breaking out of toxic mentalities much more difficult, but a lot of people adopt humiliation-play as a healthy outlet. Things like race-play fall into this category as well."

Blake's ears perked up. " _ **race-play?**_ "

Weiss twitched. 

"That's an interesting subculture to unpack because, of course, it's dehumanizing to reduce an individual to racial characteristics, but sometimes consenting individuals will act out racially-charged situations in an erotic context. The reasons for such haven't been extensively explored under a critical lens, however, and in many cases it blurs the line between consensual sadomasochism through a racial lens and just a regular erotic situation in which one actor is being racist, unless it's a role-reversal race-play, which would have it's own assumptions about race to unpack."

" _ **'role-reversal'?**_ "  

"It's, admittedly, not a very useful term, as in any kinds of roleplay you'll find all kinds of people acting in all kinds of ways, which means there's really no assumption of roles to reverse in the first place, but 'role-reversal' can refer to a participant acting in a manner opposite of their usual demeanor, or of an individual who might have some cultural  or societal baggage acting contrary to societal expectationa."

" _ **where does 'pet-play' fall under?**_ " 

Weiss squeaked. "W-where did you learn all these terms, Blakey?" 

"Pet-play involves deriving eroticism from the dehumanizing aspects of owning and treating an individual like an animal. It falls under the third kingdom of BDSM; Power play, or mental sadomasochism, which encompasses a lot of aspects, but to give a quick overview, it's where the BD: bondage and discipline, and the DS: Dominance and Submission come in. Some people say the core principle of this kind of masochism is trust; in which a submissive finds someone they trust enough to have complete control over them. When you physically restrain someone with ropes and stuff, that's called 'bondage', while using institutional power structures to make people do stuff or act a certain way- consensually, of course- fall into the dominance and submission bit."

Weiss managed to keep her poker face. 

"The desire to control someone else is more commonly understood, which ironically means less people have worked to phrase it in psychological terms." 

Blake nodded. 

"And that's the gist of it." The woman clasped her fingers together. "Does that answer your question?" she said to Blake. 

"Interesting," Blake said, "So you're not actually punishing the other person, because they actually want to be punished." 

"I think technically the definitions of those concepts allow them to coincide, but I get your broader point," the tooth collector pontificated, "and yes; ideally, you are correct."

"Also yes; there is a certain extent of cognitive dissonance involved." The freelance fairy smiled, "But some people adopt completely different personalities between jobs, you know? For example," The tooth fairy gestured to her collection of outfits, "There's some absolutely ruthless corporate executives that return home to be doting parents. Or kind, supportive managers who become nightmares to those close to them."

"It's like playing pretend," Weiss said. Then she clamped her hand over her mouth. 

The woman pointed at Weiss. "Sure."

"Oh," said the part-time tooth fairy, "One more thing i just thought of; for some kinks, there's just no way they're going to be 100% safe, so they fall under RACK: Risk Aware Consensual Kinks. If you've got the urge to do torture-play or anything involving fire or asphyxiation, you should try to be as safe as possible and make sure all parties are informed-"

"Oh! I probably should have led with this, but the most important part of BDSM is communication. Making sure both parties are ok with everything you do and you're never crossing boundaries and all."

Blake's face fell. "Oh."

"Yeah, Blakey isn't good at talking," Weiss said. She hugged Blake and laughed, awkwardly, "So I guess that sort of thing's not for you, huh Blake? Ahahahahaha." Weiss visibly sweated.

Blake tried to shoot Weiss a reassuring smile, but maybe it came out too glum. "Okay."

"Now, I've answered a question from each of you," Said the woman, "So you're going to have to leave now."  

"Oh, okay," said Weiss.

"Now, we can't alter your memories without your consent-" 

 "You can't?" 

"Because we're the good guys."

"But,  _can_ you alter memories?" 

The woman waved her hand, slowly, twice, in front of Weiss's face. 

"~You're going to think this was all just a dream~" 

"I am?"

"~You're going to grow up to be a good huntress, and to never give into darkness~"

"Oh, I was planning on that actually-"

"~You want to attend 'Beacon Academy' for your secondary education~" 

"Why not Atlas-"

"And you're going to lose consciousness riiiiight... _now."_

Weiss slumped. 

Blake blinked.

The woman smirked and raised an eyebrow. She glanced down to her left hand-

Which was holding her wand, at her hip. It cracked with Dust.

"You seem far less innocent than is required for that to work," she said, "And too antisocial for it to be fun. So I'm just going to blast you. m'kay?"

Blake managed to dodge the first magic missile, but the tooth fairy shot a fan of them, and one purple orb dissipated into Blake. It felt tingly, and Blake felt drowsy. 

And Blake drifted off to sleep. 

 

 

 

 

 

Blake awoke. She was in the tent, with Weiss awkwardly hugging her. Awkward as in, Blake couldn't imagine being comfortable enough to fall asleep in the position Weiss was in. 

"Oh, Blakey," Weiss mumbled. She then woke up and smooched Blake's head. She bid Blake to silently exit the tent.

Then the Young maid yawned awake. 

"Hey," Weiss said to the maid, "Did the tooth fairy come for you?" 

The young maid dug around the bed and pulled two envelopes. One of them had 'Blake Belladonna' written on the front. 

"Oh yay!" Weiss yelled. "Hey mom! The tooth fairy came and corrected her mistake! I think!" 

And Weiss's mom managed to be in earshot. Blake though that was suspicious.

Blake looked at the envelopes. They were slightly different. One smelled like zinc and wilted lilacs. 

"Oh~" lilted Weiss's mother, "Is that so? I'm sure the tooth fairy realized that Blake's face bones are worth as much as yours, Weiss sweetie." 

Blake opened the one addressed to her, the one with the faint but distinct smell. There was 75 lien and a note;

 

_\-- Dear Blake,_

_\-- Looks like there was a mistake. Sorry about that._

_\-- It is clear a lot of effort went into maintaining your teeth._

_\-- Sincerely,_

_\-- The Tooth Fairy_

 

Blake looked to Weiss's mother. The woman turned away as soon as Blake did, to make an unreadable face at the wall. 

"Mom, mom!" Weiss said, "We got to see the Tooth Fairy! I forget some of the things that happened, but we must have successfully plead our case and got back payment!" Weiss jumped at the feet of her mother. 

Weiss's mother kneeled down and held her daughter's hands. "Oh, that's wonderful, Weiss sweetie! You did such a good job!"

"Yeah, there was a land of, like, fairies and rainbows and- and something about racks?"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Weiss turned to the maid, "And you held the portal open for us, right? 

The maid looked shifty. "I dunno 'bout that. I 'memeber dreaming 'bout," said the young maid, "A battlefield amoungst the poppies, with wooden golems and animal warriors." 

Weiss frowned. "What about you, Blake? You remember, don't you?" 

Blake blinked.

 _ **"i had a nightmare,"**_   Blake said.

"A- a nightmare?" Weiss said,

_**"about a princess turning into a grimm."** _

"Oh, poor Blakey!" Weiss said. She hugged Blake, and seemed to forget about finding proof for her adventure. 

 

 

 

 

 

That was, until the Schnee residence received a bill for 1000 lien in damages to some sort of amusement park owned by an international corporation. 

"Oh my gosh!" Weiss said, waving the bill, "Look, mom, an amusement park? Maybe it's Corporate Mouse Land! Maybe it does exist! And the tooth fairy lives there!" 

Mum Schnee put on her poker face. 

Blake tried to look nonchalant.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now this fic has the same number of lectures about BDSM as it does about quantum physics and dental hygiene. I am honestly wondering who the target demographic for this fic is.
> 
> When the young maid said, "i can keep this open for ninety minutes", that was to set up a joke where it closes after only an hour, and the maid is all, "So I exaggerated. Lots of people do that.", but I didn't find a way to put it in. 
> 
> Next chapter will be just pure fluff, without anything clever (to recharge the brain cells and juxtapose the satire), and after that there'll be a little more drama.
> 
> If I write fast enough, maybe we can get to the Krampusnicht arc in time to coincide with actual Christmas.


	24. Blake, Guess what!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Fluff between the satire and drama arcs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the last few chapters had a few jokes that relied on uncommon knowledge or memory of throwaway lines in earlier chapters of the fic. A few people got a lot of them, so if that describes you, feel free to feel smart. I'm not sure how much pop culture has permeated you readers, but things like basic knowledge of the Disney Corporation, the 'Krampus' being the evil version of Santa Claus, the knowledge that the tooth fairy is actually just your parents were required for the central jokes in the last arc to go off. We'll get more things like that at some point, but first, a break. 
> 
> And, because this fic started out as fluff and fluff has universal appeal, this chapter is the fluffiest. There is no satire, plot advancement, or black comedy. Still some nudity though.

Blake awoke first, as usual. She lay in their bed, on her side, as Weiss drooled onto her back as she hugged the Faunus. Usually Weiss awoke soon after, so Blake didn't ever feel the need to wake Weiss up., but Blake was Immune to Boredom. That wasn't from her ninja training or anything; it was just her. Or maybe it was having known Weiss. 

Weiss awoke, and she gave Blake the customary squeeze and nuzzle. 

"Hey, Blake," Weiss said, drearily but happily, "Guess what!"

Blake frowned. Not this again. 

"Blake, guess what!"

Blake continued frowning, even though she knew Weiss couldn't see her. 

"Blake, Blake," Weiss said. She leaned to look at Blake's front. "Guess what, Blakey!" 

Blake did not guess what. 

 

 

Weiss pushed Blake into the adjoining bathroom. She deposited Blake in the corner and pulled out a toothbrush.

"Blllrmph!" Weiss enunciated. She then rinsed out her mouth. "Guess what, Blake!" 

Blake scrunched her mouth to the side. Then she opened her mouth so that Weiss could brush her teeth.

Weiss asked Blake if she'd been having any teeth problems since the last time she'd asked that question, (which was last night), and also to guess what. 

Blake motioned that she wanted to go to breakfast. 

 

 

 

Weiss carried Blake to breakfast. They passed a few of the weekday staff. "Hey. Hey Blakey." Weiss said to the Faunus in her arms. 

Blake blinked. 

"Blakey, hey, guess what."

Blake blinked again. 

Weiss deposited Blake in a chair at the dining room. Blake and Weiss were served their breakfast. 

"Hey Blakey. Hey." Weiss said, between bites. 

Blake focused on eating her breakfast.

"Hey Blakey, guess what!" 

Weiss stuffed some pancakes into her mouth. "Bhaaaky, Ghhess whhhaa!" she managed to enunciate.

Blake stared at her food and chewed it.

 

 

 

Weiss pushed Blake by the shoulders to the library where they received tutoring. The tutor gave Weiss her worksheets and cards and books. Blake procured the textbook she had been assigned.

"Hey, hey, Blake," Weiss whispered, when the tutor was distracted. 

Blake furrowed her brow at her textbook.

"Blakey, hey. Hey Blakey," Weiss whispered.

Blake pulled her book towards her and ducked her head. 

"Hey Blakey." 

Blake raised her hand. The tutor stopped looking at a glowing rectangle. 

Weiss immediately looked like she was studying intently. 

At some point a piece of paper bounced off Blake's book.

Blake turned to Weiss.

Weiss pontificated. She wanted Blake to open the note.

Blake sighed. She opened the note.

 

_\-- Hey Blakey <3,_

_\-- Guess what!_

_\-- Love,_

_\-- XOXOXO Weiss XOXOXO_

 

Blake crumpled the note and resumed studying. 

 

 

 

 

Afterwards, Weiss carried Blake toward the sparring chamber. The weapons instructor gave a brief lesson speech on some sort of combat philosophy. Blake committed it to memory. 

Weiss then started sparring with a training robot. She did rather well.

Blake meditated. She was interrupted, however. 

"Blake Blake Blake!" Weiss chanted as she did her exercises.

Blake breathed in and held the air in her lungs.  

"Blake Blake guess what! Guess what Blake!" Weiss said. She turned to Blake. The training robot attempted to attack Weiss while the girl's back was turned, but Weiss flicked her wrist behind her, without looking, and an octagon of runes intercepted the robots foam weapon. 

Blake then began doing her form exercises. 

"Guess what, Blake!" 

 Luckily, 'ignoring all distractions' was early on Blake's ninja training regimen, so she was sort of okay at it, now. 

 

 

 

"Blaaaaaaaaakkkke," Weiss said during dinner. She wrapped her arms around Blake's shoulders and shook the two of them side to side.

"Blllaaaaaaakkkkeee gueeesssssss whaaaaaat!" 

Blake tried to focus on the food. 

"Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"

Then Weiss's parent's arrived, and Weiss pretended to be civil, as the taller Schnees talked about their day, but without any interesting or real details or anything.  

Then during dinner, Weiss brought her head down low. "Bllaaaaaaaaaake," She whispered and yelled at the same time, "Guuueesssss whaaaaat!" 

Blake turned to the taller Schnees. They were pretending not to notice. Oh well. Blake didn't really expect too much from them anyway,

Blake stole some food off of Weiss's plate.

"Blake!" Weiss exclaimed, seemingly scandalized. 

Blake turned to Weiss.

Weiss swallowed. Then her smile returned. "Guess what!" 

Blake blinked. She resumed eating dinner. 

 

 

Weiss brought Blake into their room to play. Weiss sat Blake on the bed. Blake fell backwards after Weiss stopped holding her up.

"Blakey, guess what Blakey!" Weiss said. She jumped on the bed and pulled Blake up in front of her. 

Blake blinked.

"Guess what, Blakey!"

Weiss put her thumb on Blake's lower lip. She moved Blake's mouth open and shut. 

 _"What is it, Weiss"_ , said Weiss, for Blake. Blake narrowed her brows. 

"See? It's as easy as that! So now you try, Blake."

Blake blinked.

Weiss cleared her throat

"Blake," Weiss said in a weird voice. She pontificated theatrically. "Gu~~ess what!"

Blake blinked.

"Cut!" Weiss said to the wall. "No, Blake, that's not how you do! You're doing it all wroooong."

Blake blinked again. 

Weiss unsuccessfully taught Blake her lines. 

 

 

 

 

Weiss pushed Blake into the bathroom for oral hygiene time. Weiss put on her finger toothbrushes and slathered them with gross toothpaste.

"Hey, Blake, I have something to say, and I think it'd be fun if you asked me what it was!" 

Blake blinked. Her mouth was open, and Weiss was rubbing Blake's teeth with a toothpaste covered latex finger toothbrush. Blake wondered how Weiss expected her to respond. 

"So, I'm going to say, 'Blake, guess what!', and you're going to say, 'What is it, Weiss?'."

Blake motioned for Weiss to let her rinse out her mouth. 

Weiss jumped off Blake. Blake spat out her mouthful of tooth hygiene slush. 

Weiss looked expectantly at Blake.

Blake hesitated for just a moment, before she leaned back and opened her mouth and gestured for Weiss to resume her oral hygiene regimen. 

 

 

"Blake, guess what?" Weiss asked Blake as she undressed the Faunus. Blake held her arms out so it'd be easier to remove her clothes. 

Blake flopped her limbs and let Weiss dip her into the filled bathtub. Blake wasn't quite to the point where she'd willingly get wet, on her own, but she didn't struggle as Weiss bathed her. 

"Hey Blake," Weiss said. She rubbed soap into Blake's hair and her ears and parts of her face. "Do you think you could guess what, Blake?"

Blake frowned. 

"Blakey, what would you say if I asked you to guess what?" 

Blake did nothing. 

"So, uh," Weiss said. She refreshed her smile. "Guess what!" 

Blake continued doing nothing. 

 

 

 

After her bath, Blake shook herself dry. Weiss was prepared; she shielded herself with a towel but still squealed in terror, or perhaps delight. Then she used the towel to dry Blake off. 

"Gueeeeeesssss what, Blake!" Weiss said. She dressed Blake into a pair of kitten-print pajamas. 

Blake blinked. 

"Blakey, guess what!" Weiss said. 

Blake blinked again.

Weiss hugged Blake and squeezed, "oh Blakey," Weiss said, "I love you so much. So much, Blakey!"

Blake tried not to blush. 

"So, "Weiss released the hug. "Do you think you could guess what? Please? For me?" 

Blake opened her mouth and made indecisive noises.

Blake closed her mouth and looked at the wall. She coughed, but did not guess what. 

 

 

 

Weiss deposited Blake in a comfy chair while the human took a shower. 

Over the noise of the running shower, through the closed door, Blake heard Weiss yell, "Blake, guess what!" 

Blake sunk into the chair. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 And then it was bedtime. Weiss picked Blake up by the armpit and pulled her onto the comfy bed. Blake let Weiss hug her, from behind. The two of them flopped onto the bed. 

"Guess what, Blake...." Weiss mumbled.

Blake breathed. 

"Guuueeess...." Weiss mumbled, as she was falling more and more asleep, "Whaaaat.....

Blake looked back-

"Blaaaaakkke....."

Blake looked back at all the events in her life that led up to this moment. There were some sad moments, and some happy moments, and a lot of the happy moments involved Weiss. Blake also noted that she had been exhasperated more in these past few months than she had remembered being in her whole life, and a lot of those moments also involved Weiss. 

Blake exhaled all the air in her lungs, audibly. 

 _ **"what is it, Weiss?"**_ Blake lilted. 

Weiss winked. 

Weiss sat up. She threw her hands up in the air. She smiled. 

"You're," Weiss said, "A kitty!" 

Blake blinked. 

_**"that's it?"** _

"Yep!

_**"there's nothing else?"** _

"Nope!" 

_**"that's all you wanted to say?'** _

"Yes!" 

Blake blinked. She sighed again.

Blake sat up. 

 _ **"your persistence is admirable,"**_ Blake said. She grabbed a pillow and then jumped onto Weiss. _**"but for that you die.'**_

Blake pushed the pillow towards Weiss's face. 

"Blake noooooooo!" Weiss managed to yell in terror, or perhaps delight, before Blake covered her face with the pillow. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And next up is a drama arc! Aboogie-woogie-woooooooooooo~
> 
>  
> 
> Okay, fine, I'll tease a few details:  
> Arc of the next six chapters is called 'Two weeks of Winter.'


	25. Two weeks of Winter, part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Weiss grapples with other people interacting with Blake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like this chapter's divisible by five, so something big's gotta happen. This time, we destroy Blake and Weiss's monopoly on Characters with First Names.
> 
> (And I am aware that it appears that the canon Schnee household is a bit different. #lifemovestoofastsometimes, and now this fic isn't as canon-complient as intended. Maybe Whitley's not born yet? )

Blake stood under the foyer and hissed at the weather. Right now, it was water _and_ it was cold. The two things she hated the most. 

However, Weiss was rolling around in the snow that had accumulated on the ground. She was still in her nightdress, having eschewed even breakfast to go and roll around in the cold wetness. Blake, however, had brought their blanket down, around her shoulders, and was _still_ way too cold.

"So the news reports report that the weather control matrix will be on the fritz for the next half month or so," said Mum Schnee to her scroll.

Mum Schnee smiled. "It's a pleasant surprise, I must say."

The woman then swished her arm around, and a small torrent of snow flew up off the ground and swirled around her in some sort of frozen fractal pattern. Blake stepped back and huddled in her blanket more.

Weiss ran up to Blake, "Blake c'mon! It's snowing! that's what the stuff falling from the sky is! Snow! C'mon, Blake, let's go play in the snow! You'll love it!"

Weiss grabbed Blake's hand and pulled her towards the horrible snow. Blake leaned back, resisting the pull, but Weiss did not relent. Didn't Weiss know how uncomfortable the snow was? How much cold and terrible the prospect of submerging herself in that environment? Or, at the very least, that Blake didn't feel the same way Weiss did about it? Blake wanted nothing to do with the snow. 

Blake hissed and huddled in her blanket more. 

"Oh no," Weiss said, "Are you cold, Blake?"

Blake glared at Weiss. _**"aren't**_ **y** **ou** _ **cold?**_

Mum Schnee stepped besides them. "Cold never bothers a Schnee, Blake."

Weiss ran off to find some winter clothes and some maids to dress Blake in them. 

Blake looked at Mum Schnees outfit. Specifically, at how light the material seemed to be, and at all the places where it didn't actually cover anything. And how the human appeared to be at ease.

Then Blake looked to pa Schnee, and his formal wear that didn't look warm at all. _ **"what about Schnees by marriage?"  
**_

Pa schnee chuckled, a bit. He also appeared to be at ease. Nobody answered Blake.

And later, Pa Schnee approached Blake and, looking around conspiratorially, handed her a small packet, full of some sort of beads. "I keep these in the west wing supply closet. Help yourself, at any time"

Blake examined the packet. 'Shake to heat' was written on the front. So Blake did, and some sort of chemical reaction or something caused the packet to heat up. Blake rubbed her cheek on it, savoring the warmth.

Blake turned to pa Schnee and nodded, once, very slightly.

Pa Schnee nodded back, once, very slightly. 

Then Weiss returned, with the clothes. 

 "Blake Blake," Weiss started wrapping a scarf around Blake's head, "It turns out that we have a lot of super cute winter clothes for you!" Weiss pulled on Blake's hand, "So c'mon, kitty! Let's play dress up! We wouldn't want you to miss out on the snow, Blake!"

Blake looked at the snow one last time and sighed. She smushed her mouth together and let Weiss pull her into the changing room.

 

 

 

 

 

\-------------------AUTHOR'S NOTE ------------------------

_(Ahahahahaha. jk, lolno._

_But enough commenters wondered if I'd actually just meant 'winter' the season, and being a massive troll hasn't come back to bite me enough that I've been convinced to stop._

_Real chapter below.)  
_

 

 

 

 

 --------------- THE STORY, FOR REALS ---------------------

 

Blake woke up. Weiss was hugging her, like usual, her arms around her stomach in a desperate grip.

Weiss woke up. She made waking noises and nuzzled Blake's back.

"Oh Blakey," Weiss mumbled, "Guess who's a snuggly kitty?"

Blake tried not to smile, despite the flashbacks to terrible guessing experiences.

Blake heared Weiss yawn. "It's you!" Weiss squeezed Blake. _"You're_ a snuggly kitty."

Blake nodded in agreement. She allowed Weiss to snuggle her. 

Weiss rolled onto her back and pulled Blake on top of her, so that Blake faced the ceiling. Weiss inhaled in Blake's hair and rubbed her hands on Blake's tummy. Blake allowed it. 

Weiss then poked Blake's tummy, gently. Blake swatted away the pokes, halfheartedly, at first. Eventually, they became more annoying then not and Blake looked upwards and frowned at Weiss. Weiss giggled and wrapped her arms around Blake.

Weiss then smooched the top of Blake's head. She smooched again,  moving to the left, until she stopped at the base of Blake's ear. 

Blake didn't say anything, which meant hat she was okay with Weiss  nibbling her ear at this juncture. Blake braced herself for the warm dampness around her ear, only flinching a little when it came. Weiss nummed Blake's ear four times before she was satisfied. 

"Oh Blakey," said Weiss, more softly and more blissfully, "Guess who's a good kitty?"

Blake cleared her throat. _**"morality is a lie constructed by the powerful to justify their cruelty and subjugate the masses-"**_

Weiss booped Blake's nose. "No, silly Blakey! It's you!" Weiss hugged Blake. _"You're_ a good kitty."

Blake blinked.

Then Blake smiled. _**"cool."**_

 

 

 

 

At breakfast, Blake and Weiss divided their food, like usual. Unlike usual, Mum Schnee was here, as well. She and Weiss talked for a it before Weiss became nonresponsive, completely overcome with the knowledge that Blake was a kitty. 

"So your sister managed to get herself," mum Schnee coughed, "a two week vacation from military training, which she will be spending here. With her family, in order to recenter herself."

Weiss dropped her eating utensils. Her pupil shrunk and the rest of her shivered.

Then Weiss clutched Blake. "Noooooo! Not Winter! She's _pure evil!"_

Blake nodded. _**"winter is worst season. too cold."**_

"Now now, Weiss sweetie, Winter isn't evil. She's just," mum Schnee pontificated for a moment, "misunderstood. With poor impulse control and empathy problems."

Mum Schnee waved the air. 

"And the point is moot, Weiss sweetie, because nobody's evil. The formal construct of morality is a mutable, flawed, internally contradictory notion created by a small cabal of insulated thinkers based on incomplete observations, with only an incidental relation to reality, that exists to lend legitimacy to power disparities and to promote stability."

Blake blinked.

Weiss winked.

"Nevertheless, we do acknowledge some," mum Schnee pontificated. "Some possibilities, so I feel it would be prudent to decide how you will introduce her to Blake, ahead of time, and prepare yourself for certain sub-optimal eventualities, just in case they arise."

"Can't," Weiss bit her lip and clutched Blake, "can't we just go camping or something else that takes us far away for two weeks?"

"Weiss, sweetie, you hate camping. Last time, you spent the entire week huddled in our tent, crying about snakes."

"But I'm not like that anymore! I think snakes are cool now, and thay its fine that they dont have any arms! That phobia exercise you had me do worked!"

"Aaaaannd," mum Schnee said, "That is just what we're doing here. Yes. You should spend some time around your Sister, so you're no longer afraid of her."

Mum Schnee waved the air. "And you should learn to get along anyway. Your family will be there for you for the rest of your life, so it's efficient to be on good terms with them."

"But I already have Blake, and she'll be there for me forever!"

Blake scrunched her mouth. 

Mum Schnee blinked. She cleared her throat. "And besides," she said, "if you're always too scared to do anything, how are you ever going to take Blake cool places?"

Mum Schnee shot Blake a look. Blake understood her role, and she turned to Weiss and nodded. 

Weiss looked at Blake. Her lips wobbled. "Ok. I'll try to be brave, for you, Blakey."

Mum Schnee smiled. 

 

 

 

Later, someone would explain to Blake that 'Winter' was Weiss's older sister. The conversation made a lot more sense, in retrospect.

 

 

 

 

On the day that Winter arrived, Weiss was dressed in a nice dress. The tutor and weapon instructor had taken the day off, as did a lot of the staff. Thus, the mansion was very sparse. Blake decided she liked it, and vowed to explore the mansion more to find new warm places to nap, but not right now.

Weiss was wearing a dress. Blake was dressed up, but not as much as Weiss was. The younger Schnee had really enjoyed fixing Blake's hair for today, and also dressing the Faunus up in various formal outfits.

"Ok, Blake, so you just stay in this room until I call for you," Weiss said as she fixed Blake's collar, "and then I get to show my sister the cutest, snuggliest kitty in the whole world! She'll be so jealous."

Blake tried not to blush at the compliment.

Weiss then left, blowing a kiss to Blake at the door. Blake flopped on her side from where she was sitting on the couch Weiss had deposited her onto. 

Blake heard the grand entrance open. Blake's curiosity got the better of her and she got and peaked in through a crack in the door. 

In the foyer, a teenage female human was escorted in. She smelled like niter and napalm and she had an unamused expression and her hair in a high ponytail. She wore Atlas military clothes- white and cyan in winter camouflage  except for tall black boots. She carried a large military duffle bag over her shoulder, which she dropped at the feet of a servant shortly after she stepped in.

Weiss smiled. "H-hey, sis-"

"Hey, Weissicle," said the teenager. She leaned on on one leg and looked around the room. "I guess I should say it's nice to see you."

"M-me too-"

Winter then turned to her sister and smiled. She held her hands out and walked forward. 

 "And mumsie mentioned that you cut your face open."  

 "Umm," Weiss touched her medical eyepatch. 

Sister Schnee then grabbed Weiss's left hand with her own left hand, and with her other tried to pull off Weiss's eyepatch. Blake frowned.

"Guess we'll have go call you 'Scarface' from now on."

Weiss tried to keep her face away from Winter's grasp. "No!" Weiss said, "and I'm not going to have the scar forever."

Winter managed to peel Weiss's eyepatch off her face. Weiss let out a yelp and reached for her discarded medical patch. 

"Scars are forever, Weiss. But it's cool; yours looks super badass. A lot of people are going to love it."

"But- but the ointment says-"

"It's probably lying. Marketing does that. You'll have this mark on your face forever."

"Nooooooooooooo~" 

The weird emotion Blake had been feeling bubbled over, and Blake stepped into the room and she jumped at Winter-

And Blake found herself pinned on the ground. 

"Blake noooo!"

Then, Sister Schnee turned to the Faunus she had flipped over without even looking. Winter stepped back. 

 "Weiss," Winter said, slowly, "who's this?"

Weiss picked her eyepatch up and put it on her face. Then she ran over to Blake and picked her up from behind, by her armpits. She hugged Blake to her chest, resting her chin between Blake's ears. "This is Blake, my pet kitty!" Weiss nuzzled Blake's head and couldn't keep down a sense of pride and happiness. "She's the cutest and the snuggliest!"

 Winter blinked. 

"Weiss," Winter said, slowly, "You can't keep a Faunus as a pet. They're not animals."

"But," Weiss clutched Blake, "She's so cute and fluffy-"

 "They're monsters; humans infected with the Grimm corruption. They're not beholden to the kind of morality that makes them safe to coexist with. You don't know what one of them is capable of."

Winter then moved, faster than Blake would have thought. 

Blake was pinned against the wall, by Winter. Blake blinked.

"Winter, no!" Weiss whined. She reached out to Blake but Winter held Blake out of reach. 

"Weiss, this thing is dangerous." Winter held Blake higher against the wall. "I'm going to have to keep her quarantined."

"Noooooooo!"

Weiss scuffled ineffectually with her sister, for a bit. 

Weiss then ran out of the room, her sleeve on her eye and eyepatch. "Mo~om!" she whined, "Winter took Blake and she won't give her baa~aaaack~"

"Yeah yeah, run to mom, why don't you," Winter mumbled, under her breath. Then she smiled and looked at Blake. 

"Look at you, you fluffy little murderer," Winter said. She ran the back of her fingernails down Blake's cheek. Her breath smelled like holly and mint and steel. "Now, how'd you sneak your impertinent little self into my household..." It wasn't spoken as a question.

Blake blinked. 

Winter sniffed along Blake's neckline and around her forehead.

Blake blinked. 

"I can smell the taint of the Grimm infection on you." The teenager sniffed again, long and deep.

Blake frowned.

"So can you even talk?" Winter said. She smirked. "Go on and spew your vile, dark blasphemies for me, dear grimmkitty."

Blake stuck her tongue out and licked Winter's nose. 

Winter recoiled. "Aaaaaarrrrgh!"

However, with Winter clutching her nose, Blake could free herself. She ran down the hall.

"Blaaaake," Weiss called out. Blake followed the voice.

"Blake!" Weiss said, once she was in view. She jumped at Blake and intercepted the Faunus in mid air, in a hug. "Blake you escaped!"

And Weiss nuzzled Blake's head and hugged her all over.

Sister Schnee showed up. She pointed an accusing finger at Blake. "Do you think she's trained? She licked me! She put her tongue on my nose!"

Then Mum Schnee showed up. "And that's terrible," she said. She pontificated. "Truly the worst. I mean, Blake's cleaned daily, but I suppose you never know. So Winter, why don't you go down to one of the bathrooms to sanitize your nose?"

"Good to see you too, mom," Winter mumbled to the ground, as she left.

Mum Schnee turned to her younger daughter. Her face looked concerned, but she didn't say anything. Weiss didn't notice. Instead, she clutched Blake protectively. 

"Blake~" Weiss whined, "you can't lick Winter's nose! You're only allowed to lick me, Blakey."

Somewhere in a public school, a teenager of above average height started snickering uncontrollably. 

In the Schnee mansion, Blake blinked. 

 Weiss put her hands on Blake's cheeks. "So c'mon, Blakey! Lick my nose. C'mon!" Blake turned her head away, fighting with Weiss's hands.

"Blaaa~ake!" 

 Blake kept her mouth shut. She blushed, slightly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

\-------------------- A POSSIBLE FUTURE ------------------------

 

There is a school. There is a dormitory. It is evening. It is dark.

There is a rhythmic cycle; a short metallic clinking, followed by a scraping noise. _tnk - -shing_! ... _tnk - - shing_!

A figure sits, otherwise in silence.

_tnk._

Weiss throws open the door. Her eyes are red and her breath is heavy.

"How could you?" she screams into the room.

_-shing!_

"-and upstart Passions catch the Government from Reason, and to servitude reduce one until free-"

Ruby hefts the whetstone in her left hand. Crescent is in her lap. She brings the stone sown on the base of Crescent's blade. It goes _tnk_.

Weiss turns on the light. She walks up to the rose-flurried gothic cookie monster, grabs the reaper by the collar and lifts her up to her own face. Ruby's arms are limp; Crescent falls off her lap, though Ruby keeps her grip on her weapon. She blinks at Weiss, her eyes drooping and unfocused as usual.

"You were supposed to be my friend! How could you take her away from me?"

"-no Decree of mine concurring to necessitate her fall, or touch with lightest moment of impulse her free Will, to her own inclining left in even scale-"

"Don't give me that!" Weiss shakes Ruby. "You've had your beady little eyes on her since you've got here!"

Blake arrives, in the doorway, out of breath. "Weiss, stop! It's not her fault."

Weiss looks to Blake. Ruby mumbles something about purgatory.

Blake breaths. "I approached her. Not the other way around."

Weiss releases Ruby. She turns her anger onto Blake. Her face tries to be composed as she points accusingly at her combat partner. "S-so what can she do that I can't?" Weiss says to Blake.

"Wait, wait," says Yang. She appears behind Blake. "So you two _do_ know each other?"

Blake doesn't answer either of them. Yang's smile fades, slowly.

"Well?" Weiss asks.

Blake looks at the wall. "'If you love someone, let them go,'" Blake quotes. "You're the one who said that, remember?"

"But you're supposed to come _back._ Blake," Weiss begins, "Blake, can't you see that we're meant to be together?"

Blake looks at the wall some more. Her face is more pained.

"-for never can true reconcilement grow where wounds of deadly hate have pierced so deep-"

"Ahahaha," Yang says. She collects her sister and returns to the door. "We're just- I can see you have some stuff to talk about, so we'll just," Yang points down the hall with a flick of the wrist on her free hand, "We'll just be somewhere else, yes?"

Yang and Ruby leave. The door closes. Weiss and Blake are alone.

"Just tell me what you want," Weiss says, "And I'll make it happen. I'll do anything, for you, Blake-"

"You always do this-"

"Yes! Because I want you to be happy!" Weiss cries.

"Then let me go-"

"I want you to be as happy as you always made me feel, whenever we were together. You know that, right, Blakey-"

 "-don't call me that!"

 Weiss steps back. She breaths. "What do you want, Blake?"

Blake takes a while to answer. "I don't know-"

"Yes you do! if you didn't know what you wanted, you wouldn't want to leave!"

 Blake bites her lip. She turns to the wall, again. 

"Can't you communicate, _for once_ , Blake?"

"I-" 

Blake breaths.

"I don't now who I am, Weiss," Blake says. It is a confession.

Weiss smiles, "Blake, _I_ know that. Your my-"

 "DON'T SAY I'M YOUR PET! DON'T YOU DARE!"

 Blake seethes. Weiss steps back again.

"What about," Weiss whispers, "'my best friend?'" she takes a step forwards. "Or my anchor? Or my savior? All those things are true."

Blake looks like she wants to protest. She doesn't react when Weiss moves besides her.

"I know who you are, Blake-"

"No you don't! Nobody does!"

"Yes I do!" Weiss's tears gather in her eyes. "You're a kind, gentle person. Your favorite fish is tuna and you like being cool and mysterious but you have a fun side to you as well, and you love being a ninja-"

Blake breaths, angrily and sadly. She does not refute anything.

"And you don't like snow and shoes and inequality and formality and you're not shy about the things you don't like, and that just means you're honest!"

Weiss waits.

Blake fights back tears. "Is that all I am?"

Weiss blinks. "I-isn't it?

Blake turns away. She breaths. "I don't know."

Blake walks to the window, waving away Weiss's attempts at comfort.

"I spent so many years just," Blake places her hand on the window, "Just following along with what you wanted. I don't know what _I_ wanted, out of anything. And I don't know what I want now."

Weiss frowns. "So what are you saying, that you were unhappy?" Weiss's voice cracks. "That's not fair! I asked you _all the time_ if you were happy! I tried so hard for you!"

Weiss sobs again. "And that's what I'm doing _now,_ Blake," Weiss grabs Blake's hand. Blake doesn't look away from the window. "I'm willing to forgive you. I promise, I'll do anything it takes to make this right, Blake! Please."

Blake's expression grows pained. "I-" She says, "I don't want that. I don't want you to do anything." 

"Then what do you want?!"

"I need some space, Weiss," Blake says. "So- just leave me alone-"

"No!" Weiss yells. "I won't accept that!" Weiss moves, so that Blake has to look at her. "I _need_ you, Blake! Everything that's good about my life is because of you. Don't you understand that?"

Blake turns away, but Weiss grabs her hand.

"I don't know what I'd have become if you weren't there for me, Blake." Weiss's eyes well up.

Blake bites her hand. "I'm sorry, Weiss."

There is a moment.

And Weiss breaks down. She releases Blake's hand and she balls her fists and tilts her head and her tears come strong. She sobs and she shakes.

And Blake's eyes water as well, but she stands by as Weiss cries, for a while.

And then Blake sighs. She turns and hugs Weiss, around the neck and shoulders. Weiss's eyes shoot open and she gasps, elation tempering her grief. After a moment, she hugs Blake back, resting her head in the crook of Blake's neck.

"I'm sorry," Blake says, "I'm sorry, Weiss, but I can't. I just can't."

"That's," Weiss says. She leans into the hug. "That's a cruel thing to say, when I'm in your arms."

"Well, I couldn't just leave you like that." Blake says, "But this is the last time. I can't- I can't be this for you, anymore."

"Yes you can."

"Weiss-" Blake is more stern, "Weiss, don't be this way. 'If you love someone, let them go', remember?"

Weiss doesn't respond.

"I just need some space, Weiss."

"You keep saying that."

"Because it's what I feel."

Weiss sniffles. "Were you really that unhappy, living with me?"

"Honestly- not all the time, but-"

Weiss waits.

"Yeah, sometimes. It was fun! Sometimes. But I don't think I can do it anymore. At least right now."

Weiss sniffles again. "So it's - just a little space, that you need?" 

Weiss doesn't see Blake's expression. "Yeah," Blake says.

"But you'll be back, right? You promise?"

There is another moment.

"Yeah," Blake says. Weiss doesn't see Blake's expression.

"Okay," Weiss says. She steps out of the hug. Her eyes are still wet but she's not shaking anymore.

Blake smiles- softly, and genuinely. It is a small but real comfort to see.

"It's just," Weiss wipes her eyes and forces a smile, "I don't know what I'll do without you in my life."

Hey, hey," Blake tilted Weiss's chin up with her finger. "It's not like I'm just going away forever. We're on the same team. We live in the same room."

Weiss chuckles, "Heh, I guess we've been roommates since forever."

Blake chuckles. "Yeah." She breaths. "But, yeah, I- I just need to figure myself out. 

Weiss breaths. "Okay." 

Blake smiles again. "So we're good?"

Weiss refreshes her smile. "Yeah," she lies.

Blake looks relieved. She follows Weiss to the door and steps into the hallway.

And Yang and Ruby are there, in the hall. Everyone freezes, save one.

"-if there be in Hell fear to be worse destroyed, what can be worse than to dwell here, driven out from bliss-"

"So~" Yang lilted, "I take it that's a 'yes' on you two knowing each other? 'Cause I've been getting some serious vibes like this whole time..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 ------------------- PRESENT DAY ------------------------

 

"Blake," Weiss said. She put her hands on Blake's cheeks and turned Blake's face to her. 

"Blake, promise me, that you'll only be mine, forever." Weiss looked Blake the eyes.

Blake blinked. 

Weiss kept looking Blake in the eyes. 

Blake blinked again.

Then Blake nodded, slightly.

Weiss hugged Blake. "Yay! I love you Blakey. Mwah!" Weiss smooched Blake's head.

When Weiss spoke next, it was much softer. "And I always will, Blakey."

Blake looked at the wall.

"Now, lick my nose, Blakey."

Blake's smushed her mouth close.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A POSSIBLE OMAKE:

 

Weiss sits down at the cafeteria table, across from Blake. Its been a few days.

Blake makes eye contact, awkwardly. They both smile.

"S-so," Weiss manages to say, "You and Ruby, huh?"

"What~" Blake says. She laughs. "Oh, no. nonono. Its just- she's a sub, you know? So I thought we could, ah," She pontificates, "You know, play together."

"Oh! Oh." Weiss blushes. "You mean- just- ok."

"Yeah. She's into some wieeerd shizz though."

"Heh heh," Weiss says, unconvincingly.

"But it- it was a learning experience, I guess. I don't regret it," Blake says, "Speaking of which, I think it'd be good for you to socialize a bit more too."

Weiss is unconvinced.

Blake gestures to a crowd of people, at another table.

"C'mon, you'll love it," Blake grabs Weiss hand and pulled her towards the crowd. Weiss leans back, slightly, politely, resisting the pull, but Blake does not relent. "Let's go find you someone to love."

Weiss smushes her mouth together, and lets Blake pull her towards the people. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So everyone in this crack universe, especially in possible future Beacon, has one or two minor character traits (which may have only been mentioned as a joke or as inferred from their image songs) blown way, way out of proportion, up to eclipse their entire charactetization, and probably mixed with the pop culture miasma into some thing I hope is interesting. I anticipate a lot of them will be devisive, once we get there. But there's a reason for them all, I assure you.


	26. Two weeks of Winter, part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of fluffyness, I guess?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A PSA, since this fic is sometimes very political, and at its heart relies around metaphors for racism, so: 
> 
> I'm not going to say that it's always going to be OK. Because it's not; sometimes, you- you specifically- or people you care about will face very real and, sometimes, seemingly insurmountable problems. And maybe it won't end up 'just fine' in the end. But as long as you live, there will also be upsides as well. And there will always be people who support you; your neighbors who are experiencing the same things, your friends who you might have more in common with than you ever would have guessed, or people on the other side of the world who offer their words of comfort, no matter what you're going through. And for what it's worth, if it helps at all, I love you. Even if you don't like the fic, all or part of it, at least we share an interest in Monochrome. I love you, and thanks for reading. I hope it's clear that this fic is meant to satirize marginalizing attitudes towards other races, rather than normalize them- If sometimes the jokes about racism seem like just actual racism, or because the politics gets too alienating, then I apologize, my bad, and if you ever stop enjoying this fic, or need to stop reading for any reason, I understand. 
> 
> And if you're completely confused by the above, because you don't live where I live or your life is going fairly well, then I hope it's still applicable, at some point in your life. And if you just don't read the news, then Dust bless your innocent heart :,).
> 
> Also, the plots for these chapters have been decided upon months ahead of time (I am a slow writer), so it's a bit of bad timing that this one has some potentially bad humor and allusions to mildly sexual content. In my defense, I did warn you about not knowing what I'm doing, the bad humor and the sexual content, but I totally understand if you skip anything or even stop reading entirely.
> 
> EDIT: Corrected the spelling of Jaune's name.

Blake leads Weiss by the hand to a group of people Weiss, on closer look, actually had met before. She introduces Weiss to team JNPR, and Ruby and Yang wave at her. Weiss is only half-paying attention, but she remembers how to smile and shake hands and do socialization. It's like politics.

Luckily, Blake is preoccupied with some of the people and Weiss takes a seat next to Yang. At least she's had a conversation with Yang before.

"Hello, Yang," Weiss says, with perfect poise and timbre. She can show Blake that she's capable of making other friends, and then, afterwards, she can just hang out with Blake because she wants to, not because she has to.

"Sup, Weiss-bucket?" says Yang, "How- how're you, uh, you doing?"

"Quite well, thank you. And yourself?"

"Great. So, uh," Yang leans forward, conspiratorially, "Are you and Blake, like, you know." Yang pontificates. "A thing?"

"Oh! Oh, no," Weiss says, keeping her voice steady, "We're just friends." It hurts to say.

"I mean, were you always 'just friends'?"

"Yes," Weiss says. She doesn't know if it's a lie, but it feels like one.

"Okay," Yang says. Perhaps she takes the hint. She clears her throat and takes a bite of her sandwich. "So Ruby's missing a matching twin-pack of d20's. Do you think you could keep an eye out for them?"

"I don't know what those are. But yes, if you inform me of their appearance."

"They're, like, dice," Yang pontificates some more. She leans her head to the side.  "Are you into tabletop RPG's? Blake says she invited you but you were busy."

Weiss remembers that. She had declined, because she didn't like Ruby. Still doesn't.

"Ruby's a good MC, though she mostly only runs the one plot." Yang smiles wildly, "Well, offer's still on the table. The table-top, aha."

Weiss chuckles, out of politeness-she's heard better puns.

Annoyingly, Blake had seen Weiss chuckle at Yang's pun, and she was now giving encouraging motions between Weiss and Yang.

Weiss turns to her food. She hopes Yang didn't see Blake's motions.

Weiss hadn't considered Yang to ever be _personably_ datable- datable in the abstract, sure; she could imagine Yang dating people. Just, Weiss really hadn't had any particular desire to think of Yang as anything other than a teammate.

But now Weiss was half-considering it. The other half of her was finding reasons not to, as she glanced over her teammate as the later ate her food.

Yang didn't immediately strike Weiss as someone she considered attractive. Sure, the blonde had great hair and striking eyes and was always friendly, but that wasn't all she looked for in a romantic partner, right? And, continuing with the superficial; Yang was buff, where Blake was more athletic, and Yang was, additionally, quite... voluptuous. Like... quite so. And her current attire seemed to be designed to accentuate that fact-

"You can touch them, if you want," Yang says, not looking up from her food.

Weiss immediately blushes and flails. "Wha- I wasn't- I didn't-"

Yang laughs. "Sure you didn't." Her smile is insufferable. "It's okay; I know I'm hot." Yang swishes her hair back. 

Weiss bites her lip.

Yang laughs some more. "Sorry for teasing you. It's just- you usually keep to yourself. And if we're going to be team-members, it'd be nice if we were friends right?"

"I-," Weiss says, "I suppose that would be efficient, yes."

Blake sits down with them, now. "Hey guys. How's  it going, Yang? and Weiss, it's nice to see you opening up a bit." Blake smiles.

Yang nods to Blake and finishes her thought to Weiss. "Also, Blake told us it's really fun to tease you. She was right."

"Wait, what?" Weiss says.

Bake tries to look nonchalant.

 

 

 

 ------------------- PRESENT DAY ------------------------

 

Weiss carried Blake into the guest room, depositing Blake onto the bed. She closed the blinds and turned down the light and cuddled up with Blake.

There was a knock.

Weiss waited a moment to open the door. A pile of pillows and snacks was left in the hallway. Weiss gathered them up and brought them in, before locking the door.

She grabed a granola bar and jumped on the bed, next to Blake.

"Oh Blakey," Weiss said. She hugged Blake. "Lets hide here, together, for the next two weeks. Just the two of us. Doesn't that sound fun, Blakey?"

Blake blinked.

"Or," Weiss said. She tapped her chin. "Maybe we can stay here forever! I can have snacks deliverered, and there's blankies, and there's you! So there's everything I need, Blakey." Weiss nuzzled Blake's neck. Blake blinked.

Weiss leaned up and looked Blake in the eyes. "But do you need anything, Blake? I can see if I can get a maid to deliver it," she said.

Blake blinked.

Weiss nuzzled Blakes neck again. "Oh Blakey."

 

 

 

 

There was another knock on the door.

Weiss froze.

"Weiss, sweetie," said mum Schnee, from the other side of the door, "Are you in there?"

Weiss turned to Blake and shook her head.

"Blake, is Weiss in there with you?"

 Weiss shook her head, desperately. "Don't tell her we're in here."

Blake blinked.

_**"Weiss says not to tell you we're in here."** _

"Blakey whyyyyy?" Weiss whined. 

Blake tried to look nonchalant.

 

 

 

 

 

Mum Schnee entered the room, slowly, sometimes haltingly. She folded her hands in front of her and tried to smile.

"I'm sure you must think me either ignorant or callous, Weiss, sweetie," said Weiss's mother, "But I am aware of your vehemence towards you sister, and her," she pontificated, "less than considerate nature, especially when you are involved."

Weiss hugged Blake harder. "Well, if you already know, then why are you telling me?"

Mum Schnee took a seat on the bed, next to her daughter and her... whatever Blake was to her. "Because I think you  could be a positive influence on Winter. And because I know that you're tougher than you try to appear to be." 

"Winter has returned here because," mum Schnee pontificated, "She needs to recenter herself. Rediscover who she really is. And I think that you could really be a positive influence on her."

Weiss pouted at the wall. Blake blinked.

"And, not to imply that you aren't wonderful the way you are, Weiss sweetie," mum Schnee smiled, warmly, "But I'm sure there are one or two things about Winter that would be good for you to emulate? So do you think you could come and eat dinner with us?"

Mum Schnee got up and kneeled before her daughter. She held her arms out and smiled.

Weiss wouldn't let go of Blake, though. She pouted slightly harder and gripped Blake slightly harder.

And Weiss's mother blinked a few times in consternation.

"You know I love you, Weiss, sweetie." She hugged her daughter, and, by extension, Blake. She was very cold. 

Weiss didn't return the hug. Admittedly, that might be hard to do from her position of clutching Blake's head to her chest, but Weiss did nothing to acknowledge her mother. Blake didn't return the hug either, but she knew it wasn't  meant for her.

Mum Schnee released the hug. "So what do you say, Weiss sweetie? Won't you come to dinner?"

Weiss didn't do anything.

Weiss's mother shot Blake a look. Blake  understood her role, and she turned to Weiss and pouted. She patted her stomach. _**"hungry."**_

Weiss smushed her lips together. She looked at Blake and her eye wobbled. Then she pulled Blake back into the hug and pivoted from side to side, rocking Blake."Oh Blakey. We can go to dinner if you're hungry. Of course we can."

Mum Schnee nodded to Blake. Blake nodded back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 -------------------- A POSSIBLE FUTURE ------------------------

 

 

Its been another day and a half. It's breakfast time and Weiss can't help but remember a past life, with skirmishes over bacon and unequal divisions of omelettes and, sometimes, feeding each other-

And, as if on cue, Blake sits down next to Weiss, snapping the shorter girl out of her reverie.

"He~ey," Blake says, "You know-"

"Blake, can we talk?"

Blake blinks."I... guess so? What- what did you want to talk about?"

Weiss smiles, as warmly as she can. "I just wanted to catch up. How are you?"

Blake shruggs at the wall. "You know I'm fine."

Blake doesn't continue.

Weiss refreshes her smile. "Have- have you 'found yourself', yet?"

Bleak frowns. "It doesn't happen overnight-"

"I know!" Weiss interjects, desperately, "I just wanted to know how - how the search was going. So...?"

Blake breaths. She looks calmer. "Ruby's been introducing me to all these books. I think I like the Gothic Horror genre. There's this one about a man with two souls-"

"Oh." Weiss's smile fades, slightly. "You and Ruby are still....?

Blake shrugs. "We're on the same team, so even if we're not-" Blake pontificates, "you know. We still talk. And other stuff. We're on the same team, after all."

"I noticed there was a bookstore down in town that just opened - would you like to check it out sometime-"

"Weiss," Blake says, sternly, "You've never respected me enough to let me do things on my own. It's taking me a while to catch up. So no; I'd rather not go on a bookstore date with you."

Was that true? "I- okay," Weiss says, dejectedly

There are solemn looks towards walls.

Blake shakes her head and refreshes her smile. "But anyway- I came here to tell you," Blake points at some figure across the cafeteria. "Do you know who that is? I didn't think she'd still be in school!"

"I-" Weiss blushes just a little. Yes, she _does_ know who Pyrrha Nikos is, _obviously-_

"Let's go talk to her!"

"What?" Weiss leans back, "No~"

But Blake grabs Weiss's hand and pulls her out of her chair towards the tall woman with red-hair. Weiss allows it.

Blake gets Pyrrha's attention. "Hey," Blake says. She waves. "How's it going, Pyrrha?"

Pyrrha leans towards Blake, her arm against the wall. "Quite well. And yourself? You look like you need some cheering up of the, aha, _physiological_ variety."

Blake glances towards Weiss, a little nervously.

 Then Blake grabs Weiss by the shoulders and bodily moves her friend in front of Pyrrha. "Have you met Weiss?"

Pyrrha is taller than Weiss remembers. The spartan smirks and runs a hand through her hair and shakes her head, like shes brushing water out of it after she's showered.

"I'm afraid I haven't had the _pleasure."_ She extends her hand with a flourish. Weiss blinks and opens and shuts her mouth, and she takes Pyrrha's hand. The taller girl immediately leans down to smooch the back of Weiss's hand. Weiss squeaks but mostly retains her composure.

Blake is smiling, stupidly. "Weiss has had a poster of you in her room for years, you know."

Weiss blushes, "I - I mean, you're world famous..."

"Weiss Schnee, right?" Pyrrha says, "I remember signing something for you, four years ago."

Really? Weiss doesn't say. But maybe she does remember a random little girl amoung thousands in the arena audiences all those years ago. Weiss blushes. Pyrrha is unfazed.

"Well," Pyrrha smiles and waves the air, "I'm not one to brag, but, yes, I am an international athlete." She looks to the walls and the ceiling before looking back at Weiss. "And now I'm becoming a huntress, for my country."

Blake smiles and leans in. "And, you know, Weiss's favorite Pajama Vigilante was the one with magnet powers."

"Bla~ake~"

"Oh?" Pyrrha leans forward, resting her arm on the table besides Weiss. She's rather close to Weiss, and Weiss wonders how much she can lean away without being rude. "My favorite Corporate Mouse Brand Heteronormative Heriditary Monarch was the one with ice powers."

"W-wasn't that the least heteronormative Heriditary Monarch?"

Pyrrha shrugs.  "Subtext doesn't count. We should have more respect for ourselves, not just settling for winks and allusions."

To Weiss's relief, Blake and Pyrrha have a moderately long inane conversation about that topic. Weiss zones out, just a bit.

She snaps out of her reverie when Pyrrha turns back to her- she's very close. Weiss can smell olive oil and musk. Also, Blake seems to have left.

"Don't be nervous, my princess," Pyrrha says, her voice low and soft.

Weiss remembers about the time in her life when she thought she was literally a princess, and the much longer period of time when Blake was the princess- when she was  _Weiss's_ princess-

Weiss clears her throat and stifles her tears. "It's 'heiress', actually," she states.

Pyrrha laughs, warmly, "Don't be so hard on yourself. I think all girls are princesses, in some way."

"I- funny enough, I used to play-act as a prince, when I was younger. The concepts of 'prince' and 'princess' have become degendered over the years, you know."

Pyrrha looks surprised, but in a controlled way. "That is _my_ line," she laughs,"But back to the point- perhaps-" Pyrrha stands up straight and clasps her hands before her and- her expression changes, her eyes widen and her smile softens and it's all kind of jarring actually - "You would prefer a Princess, my hero?"

Weiss's heart jumps into her throat, for some reason.

Pyrrha reverts back to her original demeanor, leaning slightly towards Weiss, smirking widely, eyes narrowed slightly, "Or are you the sort of Prince who loves other Princes?"

Blake was sort of prince-like, superficially. But, then again, Weiss was acutely aware of how much she didn't know about her oldest friend.

Wess's reverie must have shown on her face.

"Well," Pyrrha says. She waves her hand and brings it to her brow. "Would you like to stop beating around the bush, and get to the point?"

Weiss blushes so hard she can feel the blood run into her face. She flails her arms.

Pyrrha laughs. "Not what I meant. I was talking about," Pyrrha gestures to the distant figure of Blake, at a lunch table on the far side of the cafeteria, talking to Ruby and Yang, "your obvious attraction to your tall, dark, handsome friend over there."

Pyrrha looks into Weiss's eyes, for a moment. "And you've told her how you feel, and she doesn't return your feelings?"

Weiss breaks eye contact. "Is it that obvious?"

Pyrrha smiles. "I wouldn't worry about most people figuring it out." She refreshes her recalcitrant smirk and pontificates theatrically. "I know how heavy a broken heart can weigh upon your mind."

Pyrrha grabs Weiss's hand and brings her head down to meet it halfway. She looks Weiss in the eyes as she smooches her hand. "But if a resplendent princess such as yourself would like to forget the trappings of the mortal coil, I certainly have some," Pyrrha raises her eyebrows, "skill in that matter."

Weiss blushes more and more at the ground, as her composure falls apart.

It- well, logically, if her first time was to be with someone who knew what they were doing- that's the impression she gets, yeah? And Pyrrha was certainly attractive- a more athletic build than Blake, slightly taller as well-

And she'd been enamored of Pyrrha for a lot of her childhood, yes? Ever since she and Blake and her parents went to see the tournament championship, and she'd informally joined the fanclub that was seated next to them-

But-

"I don't know," Weiss says.

Pyrrha's smile doesn't waver. "Of course. If you ever change your mind," the spartan stands up straight and gestures theatrically, ending with her right hand to her chest, "you know where to find me." She pats Weiss's shoulder. "C'mon, we can talk once we've gotten our lunch." 

Weiss opens her mouth. "Umm."

 

 

Weiss follows Pyrrha back to the their teammates. Weiss was wondering how many excuses she could use to get out of having to interact with other people- maybe she could just be aggressively boring? So she can go back to solitude, to wait for when Blake's done doing the social thing?

And then Pyrrha stops. Weiss bumps into her.

Weiss looks around to where Pyrrha's looking- the spartan's jaw's dropped and her cheeks are blushing, slightly.

There's a blond girl- the left side of her neck length hair decorated with silver hair clips, smiling sheepishly and tittering nervously.

Weiss is relieved- that Pyrrha found someone else to hit on, and also because that no part of her feels jealous about that. Her heart still belonged to just one person.

"Oh, wow, Jaune!" Yang says, "You look so cute!"

Wait-

 _tnk_. _-shing!_  "-Dust almightie, thine this universal Frame, thus wondrous fair; thy self how wondrous then!" 

"I like your skirt," Ren says.

"JAUNE!" yelled Nora. She smiled wildly, arching her back back and forth, "How cute, how astute, how dutiful you look!" She puts a shoulder around Juane's shoulders. "SPENDID!"

Pyrrha blinks, as if she's stunned. Then she walks towards Jaune.

"~wai~" Jaune clutches his face, "Thanks, guys!" 

"So are you," Ren asks, "A girl on the inside?" 

"Oh? No- there's nothing wrong with that, and I'd be comfortable saying if I did feel that way- but, I'm a guy; I just like being cute, you know?"

Ren nods. Nora's smile unhinges her face.

And Pyrrha steps into Jaune's personal space. "And we like you being cute too." Pyrrha pontificates theatrically, ending up grabbing Jaune's hand.

 Jaune blushes. "~uwa~" he squeaks, in delight, or perhaps terror.

 Weiss vows to give Jaune congratulations when he's not being accosted, and she takes a seat next to Yang, across from Ruby, and a seat down from where Blake left her food- fishsticks and peas, Weiss notices. Blake's talking with Ren and Nora, and Weiss doesn't get the chance to make eye contact with her.

 And as Pyrrha strikes up a conversation with Jaune, Weiss feels more and more relieved, now that it's less likely she'll have to interact with the amazon again today.

Blake isn't within conversion distance- but Weiss reconsiders trying to talk to her. And besides, Weiss had a life outside Blake, maybe?

Weiss feels adventurous, or rebellious, since now she doesn't _have_ to talk to someone, she just wants to. Twice in one day and it's already breakfast, wow.

"So," Weiss says to Yang, and the following conversation is easier than Weiss feared it would be, "Did Ruby ever find her dice?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 ------------------- PRESENT DAY ------------------------

 

 Weiss carried Blake to the dinner table. There's nothing for them to do but wait, and Weiss struck up an inane, one-sided conversation with Blake about the ecological underpinnings of conventional morality, in to avoid eye contact with Winter.

At some point, Blake and Winter blinked at each other, twice.

 And when dinner was served- with all four Schnees here, Blake noted-  Weiss and Blake did their dinner rigamarole again. Weiss's portions were bigger than usual, this time, but Blake still offered Weiss some of her food. Weiss took it, and she tried to push some of her steamed broccoli onto Blake's plate.

And Blake stole a strip of peanut beef off Weiss's plate, while Weiss was preoccupied.

"Bla~ake!" Weiss whined, quietly. They skirmished for a bit.

At the end, about fifty percent of the food on each of their plates changed hands at least once.

Winter stared at them, her face unamused.

"So nobody thinks this is weird?" She gestured to the younger girls.

"It's not weird, Winter," said mum Schnee, without looking up.

"You'd be surprised at how much people get used to," said pa Schnee.

"And this doesn't bother you?" Winter said, "Letting her eat at the table when she's clearly not table trained?"

"We concern ourselves with that less in private," said pa Schnee. "But Blake is capable of proper etiquette when it matters."

"Unless you were talking about Weiss," said Mum Schnee, "In which case, her place at the table is already imprinted on her memory, so what can we do?"

Blake chuckled. Winter chuckled. Weiss pouted.

Blake and Mum Schnee made eye contact briefly. They shared stoic nods of approval.

Weiss finished pouting. "Well, I've been teaching Blake everything I know," Weiss said, proudly.

"So almost nothing," Winter said.

Blake chuckled. Mum Schnee chuckled.

"No~" Weiss whined, "I taught her how to walk and talk and read and tie her shoes and, sometimes, use silverware when she eats!"

Blake stabbed a piece of food with her fork and stuck it in her mouth, to demonstrate. Pa Schnee applauded, and Blake nodded twice to him with a smile while making gestures like a winning gladiator in an arena. They both stopped, abruptly, when they got looks from the other people at the table.

Winter's face flattened. "I thought you didn't know how to read."

"Uh-huh!" Weiss pouted. Blake chuckled. "I already taught her most of the alphabet."

Blake smirked wryly. She nodded.

"So it was, indeed, everything you know," Winter said.

"Win~ter~!" Weiss whined.

The adult Schnees laughed, briefly. "Now now, Winter," mum Schnee said, "I assure you Weiss has been very diligent in her personal education of her Faunus."

Blake blinked. She knew she was supposed to nod, but she didn't.

"Is 'bathroom training' on that too?" Winter asked.

Weiss opened her mouth.

Weiss then closed her mouth.

Then she turned to Blake. "Blakey, I don't think I've ever seen you use the bathroom."

Blake blinked.

Then she smirked. ** _"just as planned."_**

Mum Schnee laughed out loud, but only for two seconds.

"So," Weiss tilted her head to the side, "Do you actually use the bathroom, Blake?"

_**"i sneak into the bathroom when you aren't looking."** _

"So what if," Weiss put her hands on Blake's shoulders. "I just stare at you. All the time. How will you sneak away then?"

Blake blushed a little bit. Maybe she shouldn't have said anything.

 

 

 

 

And the next time Blake had to use the bathroom, she found it much more difficult to evade Weiss.

But she did, at some point, and she ducked into a bathroom on a less traveled wing-

And Weiss was there.

Blake's composure shattered. She had to clutch her lower abdomen when she spoke next.

" _ **Weiss, please-"**_

"I wasn't going to watch you go!" Weiss pouted. "I just wanted to make sure I didn't actually need to teach you how to use the potty. I totally forgot about that!"

Blake's mouth wobbled. _**"wait outside?"**_ she finished. _ **  
**_

Weiss giggled and hugged Blake as she exited. "Of course! Don't make a mess!" 

Blake's face flattened.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, looks like Pyrrha and Jaune turned into Queer Shoujo Genre Cliches there. Nora's based off someone else, and I don't know what's up with Ren. We'll probably see them more in the next chapter.


	27. Two weeks of Winter, part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh, something about Weiss being possessive of Blake?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hearing more about Winter here. I was aiming for black comedy, but if its too terrible, feel free to interpret it as a lie Winter tells to try to sound cool.

Blake awoke.

Weiss was in a restless sleep behind her. She grunted, despairingly, every so often, squeezing Blake's waist when she did. 

"Blakey," Weiss mumbled, "Blakey don't leave me."

Blake scrunched her mouth; why would Weiss think that was something she could do? But she reassured her human all the same. Or, at least, as best she could.

 

 

 

 

 

After breakfast, Weiss pulled Blake into one of the empty rooms. The curtains were still drawn shut, and combined with the silence and emptiness, the ambiance was rather nice, Blake thought. She hugged Blake, and she cried, silently, for a few seconds.

And Blake sighed and hugged Weiss back.

Weiss wiped her eye and eyepatch on her sleeve. "Okay, Blakey, let's play. What do you want to play, Blake?"

Blake looked towards the stack of pillows, in the corner.

Weiss pouted in sympathy. "I'd love that, but the maid pursuing the civil engineering degree isn't here on weekdays, and we don't have enough maids to construct it."

Blake sighed in defeat. Weiss comforted her. Or at least, she probably thought she was comforting her.

"How about Patty Blake? That's easy to do and fun, too!" Weiss said.

Blake shrugged. The started playing Patty Blake (tm).

And then the door opened-

And Winter walked towards them, steadily, her footsteps echoing.

Weiss clutched Blake's head. "W-what are you doing here?"

Winter sat down across from them. "Mumsie wants me to hang out with you. So what are you two doing?"

"Ummmm," Weiss said, "I'm just playing with Blake."

"So, what, how does that work? You dress her up and move her around like a doll?"

Blake blinked. 

"Well, sometimes," Weiss says, "But usually I sing her nursery rhymes or pop songs, except with some of the phonetically appropriate words replaced with 'Blake' or 'Blakey'." Weiss hugged Blake. "She really loves it!"

Blake blinked again.

"Here, let me show you." Weiss cleared her throat.

"~My Blakey lies over the ocean~" Weiss rocked Blake from side to side. "My Blakey lies over the sea!~ My Blakey lies over the ocean, so, bring back my Blakey to me~!" Weiss gestured grandly. "Bring~  back~ Bring~ back! Oh bring back my Blakey to me~~!"

Blake blinked a few times. So did Winter.

"What happens when you run out of songs?"

"Well, It's actually quite easy; any tune you make up on the spot in 4/4 time with two or four stanza phrases can accommodate a phrase of praise, and you can stretch or condense the total syllables in the lines depending on how many times you make 'Blake' into 'Blakey'."

Blake opened her eyes and shut them, simultaneously and autonomically.

"See, like:" Weiss scrunched her face at the cieling for a moment, "'Blakey is a Blakey, she's the bestest Blake to be! Blakey's such a Blakey and this Blakey is for me!'"

Winter and Blake made gagging motions at each other. At first it wasn't on purpose.

"Okaaaay. I think I'll pass on that." Winter tilted her head to the side. "Do you ever do anything more exciting? Like shooting apples off her head?"

"Nooooo~" Weiss hugged Blake harder. "She's too fluffy for that."

Blake blinked.

"Does she like that you're all over her, all the time?"

"Of course she does!" Weiss nuzzled Blake's head. "What's the point of kitties if we don't get to snuggle them?"

Winter blinked. Blake blinked. 

"But Blake's _my_ snuggle-kitty. You're going to have to get your own, sis."

"I think I can live without one, thanks," Winter said. 

Weiss brushed Blake's shoulders off. "But Blake's favorite thing to do is for when I hug her, and I ask her to guess what, and she guesses what, and I tell her she's a kitty or something! She really loves it!"

Blake involuntarily shuddered.

"See, I'll show you," Weiss said. She turned Blake to face her.

"Hey Blake, guess what!" Weiss said.

Blake shuddered just one more time. " _ **what.**_ "

"You're," Weiss waved her hands in the air, "a cutie!"

Blake blinked. Winter blinked. 

Blake cleared her throat. _**"what about my acuity?"**_

Weiss winked. Winter chuckled.

"So, um," Weiss began to her sister, "I- I guess you can try, if you want to."

Blake blinked. She was surprised that she found herself annoyed, now.

"But you have to be super careful with her. Like, don't drop or squish or bite her."

That... didn't make Blake feel better. Especially since Weiss regularly did those last two, and ocasionaly did that first one.

Winter turned Blake to face her. The older Schnee sister seemed somewhere between perplexed and disgusted.

"Hey, Blake," Winter said, sounding bored, "Guess what?"

_**"what."** _

"You're," sister Schnee picked Blake up by the armpits, "adopted!"

Blake's face flattened. She knew that. 

Winter then put Blake over her shoulder. Since she had been kneeling, rather than sitting, she could easily rock back and stand up all the way. Which she did. 

"Thanks for giving me Blake, Weiss!" Winter cackled. 

"Nooooo~," Wiess scrambled to her feet, but Winter was already running away.  "I didn't give you Blake! She's mine! Give her baa~aaaack~"

Blake's brow flattened. So _now_ Weiss didn't want to let her go?

Winter carried Blake to the pantry.

Then she stopped. She pulled Blake off her shoulder.

"So are you," Winter's face softened. "Actually that fun to hug?

Blake blinked.

"Wiiinnnn~teeeeer~" Weiss's whining grew closer.

Winter shook her head. "Whatever. I don't- I never needed hugs. They're stupid. _You're_ stupid."

Winter waved her hand and placed a rune on the ground. She jumped on the rune, bouncing high, reaching the apex of her dust assisted jump at the highest shelf.

Winter placed Blake on the shelf, right next to a bag of cereals. Then sister Schnee fell down, out of sight.

Blake flopped and rolled. She didn't find any reason to correct her position, so she lay on her side, her arms flopped out.

"Bla~ake, come down~"

Blake found she didn't really want to. If she was Weiss's doll, then Weiss should take better care of her things.

Winter cackled. "Ahahaha."

"Wiinnn~terrr~"

Weiss whined some more. Blake tuned her out. This was a nice shelf, she decided. Maybe she could come up here to nap, sometime.

There was a lull.

And then there was a crinkle. Blake smelled tuna.

"I have some tuna snakies for you!" Weiss called from the base of the pantry. "Come down and have some! I think you'll really love them."

So Blake ninja parkoured down. She grabbed the bag of snackies from Weiss and started stuffing them in her mouth. They were yummy.

Weiss hugged her. Blake was still slightly annoyed, but the tuna snackies were good.

Then Winter grabbed the bag and threw it up to the top shelf. 

Blake blinked.

Then she ninja parkoured up the pantry shelves, to the top shelf, to get the bag of snacks. She cozied up besides a bag of cereals and enjoyed her hard-won snackies.

"Blaaa~aaake~" Weiss whined from below.

Blake ignored her.

Winter cackled and left the room.

 

 

 ----------------- A POSSIBLE FUTURE ---------------------

 

 

 

It's another day and Weiss is pretending to study. Blake's in the room too, but Weiss doesn't need to talk to her. Nope. Not at all. She hopes Blake notices that. But maybe Blake had forgotten that Weiss is in the room.

And Blake doesn't see, but Ruby slowly sneaks up on Blake, from behind. Then the stupid fatalistic cookie-monster jumps and hugs Blake.

"- dwelt then in thee, bright effluence of bright essence increate-" 

"Don't touch me!" Blake yells. She flinches, jumping slightly.

Ruby releases the hug. She steps back and puts her hands up and smiles, non-threateningly. Or, at least, as non threateningly as she can manage, with her vacant eyes and candy-coated tombstone smile. " -Now conscience wakes despair that slumberd, wakes the bitter memorie of what she was, what is, and what must be-" 

"I'm sorry. I just-" Blake inhales and exhales. "I'd prefer to hold off on hugs, you know? I- I don't know if I like them. Still- figuring that out."

Ruby nods and smiles.  "-I for her sake will leave thy bosom, and this glorie next to thee-"

Blake smiles back."Thanks for understanding. Its- it's a little weird, I guess. I- I can work on it? If you like."

Ruby waves a hand in the air. " -Before the Sun, before the Heavens thou wert, and at the voice of Dust, as with a Mantle didst invest the rising world of waters dark and deep-"

"Still," Blake says, "I think I'd like to get to a place where I'm comfortable with hugging you."

The two of them leave the room.

Weiss wipes away unbidden tears, from where she sits at her desk. There is a lump in her throat. Surely, her hugs weren't that bad, to ruin all hugs for Blake?

She had been sure that Blake loved hugs. That's why she was so snuggly, right? But, then again, Weiss had also been sure that Blake loved being her- her best friend, even if they had seemed to drift apart ever since her- _their_ mother died. Weiss had clung to those old, happy memories, and to think that they were all lies-

Weiss rubs her nose on her sleeve. Well, maybe it was just that Ruby was just so naturally creepy and weird, and it was only normal for Blake to be uncomfortable hugging that rose-flurried red reaper. It was possible that it had nothing to do with her past. Yeah.

 

 

 

 

 

Weiss doesn't get anything else done, for a while, but she calms down when Blake re-enters the room. 

Blake approaches. Weiss keeps her cool. "So how about we hit up Ren and Nora?"

"I- I don't know," Weiss says. However, she absolutely knows that she doesn't want to, but Blake looks so enthusiastic."I still admire Pyrrha, but I don't know if I like actually interacting with the person behind the image. So remember; last time you tried to introduce me to someone, it didn't go so well...."

Blake smiles. "We can mulligan. C'mon! I think you'll really love them! Nora's fun," Blake says, "or maybe Ren? He and I seem cut from similar cloth. You might like him."

Weiss is reluctant, but Blake does not relent. She pulls Weiss by the hand out into the halls, to another dorm.

Team JNPR's dorm is across the hall from theirs. It could be considered rather expedient, for people who were actually interested in making friends. The knowledge that she would have less of an excuse not to hang out ties Weiss's stomach in a knot; maybe she can start studying in the library, so anyone who knocks on her door won't find her?

Blake knocks on the door. Her smile doesn't waver.

"So, um." Weiss says. "Sorry- sorry about the hugs. From when we were younger." 

Blake blinks. "Oh? You mean- I- okay. Yeah." 

Blake coughs. "I- I mean, I don't think they were _bad,_ it's just-"

There is a conversation, they overhear.

 _"It appears to be Blake, with RWBY's fourth memb_ er," says Ren.

 _"The heiress!_ HOW FORTUITOUS," says Nora. They didn't have to eavesdrop to hear that.

_"Are we feeling.......exhibitionist today?"_

_"Sure, if you would like._ I ALWAYS LOVE THE SPOTLIGHT."

_"Okay, I'll let them in now-"_

"SPLENDID!"

The last praise is loud enough to send Weiss and Blake recoiling from the door. Which works out quite well, because it flies open-

"COME IN, COME IN!" yells Nora. She gestures grandly like a marionette caught on a threshing machine. 

Their side of the room- or at least, the bunk that looked like Ren and Nora's side of the room- was rather neat, with a lot of sentimental looking items strewn around. There is a portrait of some sort of viridescent serpent on the wall, wreathed in some sort of shrine. They also seemed enamored of stuffed animal sloths.

"Hey Nora, Ren," Blake says, "Have you met Weiss?"

"Yes, actually," Nora says.  Weiss tilts her head to the side, but before she can get a word in, Nora brings her face too close to her's, her breath on Weiss's teeth. 

Weiss blinks, and Nora steps back.

"Well met," Nora swirls her hand in a flourish as she bows, ending up with her back in a ridiculous arch and her hand outstretched towards Weiss. She looks up and smiles madly. "Believer in love."

"Hello, uh, again, I guess? " Weiss says. She shakes the hand. "Are you okay?"

"My," Nora points to her head, exaggeratedly, "Encephalo-fasciculations."

"She's always like this, don't worry about it," Ren states. He isn't wearing a shirt. He is, however, wearing a sloth ear headband, and a collar.

"Why is Ren a sloth?" Blake asks.

"Because sloths are the cutest."

Weiss frowns, but she doesn't attempt to argue that, actually, it is empirically a fact that kitties are the cutest, instead.

"So he's just pretending to be a Faunus?"

"A _sloth_ ," Nora turns around to gestured to Ren. Ren blinks. "Whether a Folivora-aspect Faunus or a giant stuffed animal, it doesn't matter, as long as he's cute."

Nora tilts her head back like she's animated by Shaft and looks at Blake, upside-down. "You could say he is the metaphysical ideal, the platonic representation, the internal ideation- OF A SLOTH!" Nora waves her hands like a muppet.

Blake frowns. "I don't think that's a good thing for him to pretend to be," Blake says.

"Consider it flattery, if you wish," Nora flashes a smile. 

Luckily, that conversation holds the three of them for a while, so Weiss can gather her composure and also eye the exits for ways out. She doesn't find one in time.

Blake is placated, and she shakes Nora's hand. Nora opts to pat it with both hands, then up and down Blake's elbow, and on Nora's knees, and there's some sort of spin involved. Blake keeps up pretty well.

"Well, I'll be outside if you need anything," Blake says. She winks at Weiss, giving her friend a thumbs up.

Weiss takes too long to decide if she want to ask Blake to stay. So the door closes, and she's along with Ren and Nora.

Nora snaps her fingers. Ren jumps onto her right side, clinging around her shoulders.

Nora strokes Ren's hair. She smiles at him, and then turns to Weiss, "You are here," Nora says, "because you have been very diligent in your pursuit of love. For your," Nora's eyebrows dance. "aha, little kitty friend."

She moonwalks over to besides Weiss's left side, so that she can put an arm around her. Weiss wonders how Ren stays balanced on her arm.

"Oh! Um, yes. She, uh," Weiss rubs the back of her head. "Is it really that obvious? I mean, it would be nice if I could meet someone and they don't immediately know how much of a lovestruck loser I am."

Nora laughs, wildly. She slaps Weiss's back.  "We're just weird that way, don't worry."

"I- guess there's no use in pretense then? I guess that makes this a little easier." Weiss refreshes her smile. "Honestly, I don't know what she expects me to do when she puts me in these situations, aha."

Nora and Ren share a look. "Hey, don't worry about it. We can pick up the slack," Nora begins.

Weiss blinks. "What?"

Ren pontificates, with his head. "Blake told us that you're a little introverted but that you want to make friends. So we've been planning this conversation for a while."

Weiss frowns. "What? - Am I _that_ pathetic?"

Nora scrunches her mouth. "Noooo~. There's nothing wrong with being introverted," She hugs Ren with one arm. Ren smiles. "And we're so proud that you're trying to break out of your shell!"

"You're so brave," Ren says.

That doesn't make Weiss feel better. "Does she think she's doing me a favor, putting me into these situation?"

Nora smiles. "You could always have more friends, Weiss!"

"But-" Weiss's nose twitches, "I don't want more friends! I want my best friend _back!_ Why- why can't she see that-"

Weiss stifles a sob.

Nora's voice is actually soothing, this time, "Hey, hey, hey there- do you want a hug?"

Nora holds her arms out. Ren jumps off of her, also holding his arms out. Weiss hesitates a moment, before she leans into the hug. "C-can Ren put a shirt on, first?

They laugh. Ren does.

The hug helps.

 

 

 

 

 

"You have truly been diligent! But I think," Nora says, after Weiss has calmed down, "That there is a path of greatest utility in front of you."

Nora waves her hands like a muppet. "You needn't stop caring for Blake. But she is not obligated to care about you back. THUS!- the impetus upon thyself is twofold; to ensure that you do not let your feelings infringe upon Blake's desires, and to never let yourself depend on her liking you back."

Ren has since resumed clinging to Nora like a sloth. He still has his shirt on, though. "You can be the best person you can, and if she ever gets to a point where she can see that, maybe you can be together then."

"But it would be healthier not to count upon that eventuality, and right now you need to respect her decisions. You can have a good relationship with her, even if she's," Nora smirked, "flirting with death."

"Haha," Ren chuckles, "specifically, 'Death by Chocolate.' It's cause Ruby's, like, you know."

"Wait," Weiss says. She frowns. "Are they- Blake said they weren't-"

Ren and Nora share panicked glances. "I- I mean, perhaps she meant they are not exclusive? Or that they're not actually going on dates. OR MAYBE. I'm just misinterpreting Blake's feelings." Nora lilts the last part. Considering how she saw through Weiss, the heiress isn't inclined to believe her.

"So what you're saying, is," Weiss parses to herself, "Once Blake realizes that Ruby is dumb and gross, she'll realize I was here the whole time, and that I still care for her?"

Ren and Nora try to explain that, while technically a valid interpretation of their advice, that is not actually what they had hoped Weiss took away from that conversation, but Weiss isn't listening.

 

 

 

 

 

 

So one thing Weiss notices, after observing her combat partner for a while, was that Ruby keeps sneaking out during the afternoons for something, and the walking funerary flower arrangment was either deliberatly dodging answering any questions to her wherabouts, or her vocabulary wasn't big enough to explain where she was actually going. It was really suspicious, and maybe the reaper was getting up to something Blake wouldn't like. Blake deserved to know, probably.

So the next time that happened, one dark afternoon, when the halls are rather quiet and the weather's rather bad, Weiss follows the fatalistic cookie-reaper, down the halls, into the basement of the school.

Weiss had learned how to be sneaky ever since she'd found out that her father would occasionally send Blake to spy on her.

Maybe that had something to do with how the two of them had drifted apart? Weiss always thought she could trust Blake, and when that appeared not to be true- Weiss could have been more forgiving, perhaps- she could have done more to show Blake that she would always be there for her-

-And that little reverie almost led to Wiess getting caught. She had bumped into a lighting fixture, and she darted around a wall and kept her breathing silent until Ruby's footsteps resumed.

Eventually, Ruby enters the room. Weiss can see the shadow of a woman through the door, but not much else. Weiss flicks her hands to create some sound-channeling runes between her and the door.

"You're late, Ms. Rose," comes the commanding voice of one of thier teachers.

"-Now rowling, boiles in her tumultuous brest, and like a devilish Engine back recoiles upon herself- "

"Yes yes, you've been very bad. Now, open your textbook to page 44."

Weiss's hopes fall.  Ruby just has detention. It figures, with her attitude towards homework and paying attention in class and giving presentations.

Well, Weiss took some comfort in that knowledge. Not that she was one to talk- Weiss had gotten better at the traditional education sysem recently, but she recalls her past struggles vividly. Perhaps she and Ruby could bond over that? It would require Weiss to actually care about what Ruby thinks, though. 

Weiss sighs in defeat and turns around-

-And she bumps into Yang.

"H-hey," Yang says. She rubs the back of her head. "What's- what's up?"

Weiss blinks. "What are you doing here, Yang?"

"Oh just -seeing if Professor Goodwitch had counseling hours now?" Yang doesn't sound convinced, so Wiess isn't either.

"Doesn't she always have those in her office, rather than the classrooms? And if you were checking her schedule, that's where it's posted; on her office door."

Yang sighs. "Fine, I wanted to know where Ruby kept getting off to. I'm just- I know there's no reason to worry, but I do." 

"She seems fine," Weiss says, "And good for you; It's good that you're being such a caring big sister. More sisters should be like that."

Weiss shares some sister stories on the way up to their dorm.

"So what did you need counseling for, if you don't mind me asking?" Weiss ventures. Is this too personal?

Yang's nose sniffles- Weiss knows what that means-

"Oh, you know," Yang refreshes her smile. "Just some academic advice."

And Yang doesn't continue. Instead, they work on homework, and it isn't completely aweful, Weiss decides.

 

 

 

 ------------------- PRESENT DAY ------------------------ 

 

The clunk of wood on wood accompanied the placement of a ladder, up to the shelf Blake was lying on. Weiss's head appeared.

"Blakey!" Weiss said. She crawled up besides Blake and hugged the Faunus, rubbing her head in Blake's hair, a few times. Blake allowed it.

"I like this hidey-hole, Blake," Weiss said, "But Winter already knows about it, so she can just get us if we hide here, and that's not fun Blake! That's not fun at all." 

Blake blinked.

"So we're going to have to stake out a new hiding place, somewhere else, next time."

Blake blinked again.

"But if you want to wait here for a while, then I can wait too," Weiss said. Her breathing calmed as she hugged Blake closer.

Blake closed her eyes and decided she was comfortable enough to nap. Weiss wasn't as warm as she would have liked, but the darkness in the room was soothing.

 

 

 

Eventually, someone walked into the pantry. 

"Weiss!" called out Mum Schnee. "Dinner's ready!"

"Okay!" Weiss said. She turned Blake's head to face her. "So, Blakey, do you want to eat dinner?"

Blake frowned; did Weiss even know her at all? She always wanted to eat dinner.

 

 

 

"Yum yum dinner!" Weiss said, after depositing her best friend in the chair next to her, "Blake's so excited for this!"

"Yeah, I'm sure _Blake_ is." Winter said.

"Yeah, look at how hungry she is!" Weiss shook Blake for effect. "She's _starving!"_ Blake blinked.

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT STARVING IS!" Winter yelled, suddenly.

Blake blinked. The other Schnees blinked.

Winter sat back down. She pontificated. "When you're up in the freezing mountains for a six week training exercise and the coldness from the cold and ice is nothing compared to the chill of the silences that separate you from your squad-"

"Schnee's don't get cold, Winter-" Mum Schnee said without looking up.

"And your radio's broke and your blankets are all too thin and you just have to wait until the scheduled extraction but it's getting harder every day. You've scavenged all the rats and birds. Had to eat them _raw_. And it's too cold for insects to live, so we can't even scavenge bugs."

"And there's Donna. Her parents love her; send her snacks with little notes of encouragement. She hasn't shaped up quite yet- hasn't been to boot camp long enough to lose the baby fat. But it's cool; we joke about it, and she smiles about it, wider and wider as the times go on, until maybe we're friends."

"And she shares whenever we ask- like after our food runs out, and as the nights get colder, we divy up her home-made cookies and make games of finding out what supplies were edible; batteries were definitely not; they give you ulcers, but the grease baked inside the stove keeps us alive for three days, and the leather off our boots keeps us alive for another two."

"And it's one more week until extraction, but we know we won't all survive."

"So do we do what's fair? Or do we do what's _right?_ Do we draw lots and accept the vicissitudes of fate!? Or do we try to save as many people as possible, and eat only the meatiest one?"

"So we made it quick. It was the least we could do for Donna."

Winter patted her stomach. "And evermore, the frozen lumps of flesh in our stomachs are reminders of a sacrifice we'll honor forever. _That's_ what starving is, Weiss."

Blake blinked. All the Schnees blinked. The members of the staff that had been in the room blinked.

Winter leaned back in her chair. "And then it turned out the radio wasn't actually broke; it just didn't have batteries, so we could have gotten out any time if we'd put them in. "

Blake blinked three times.

Winter shrugged and looked a little embarrassed. "So yeah. We failed that training exercise."

There was silence. Blake looked around, wondering if anyone was going to ask if that story was actually true.

It looked like nobody was. Blake cleared her throat. _**"Weiss has tried to eat me, before."**_

Weiss's face devolved into blushes and mouth wobbles. "N-no I haven't!" She hugged Blake. "She's too fluffy for that!"

"Yeah," Winter said, "The hair would get stuck in your teeth."

"Well," said pa Schnee, "It's a good thing that the food got served while you were telling that story, yes? So we don't have to do any of that? Ahahaha...."

Winter stares at her food, Blake noticed. Nobody else seemed to notice, though.

"So Weiss, sweetie," mum Schnee said, without looking up, "Why don't you tell us how school's been going for you?"

"It's- it's been going okay," Weiss said. She listed a few monotone events, listlessly.

Then Weiss looked up and seemed excited, "But in more exciting news, Blake's got another loose tooth, so I'm making sure to take extra good care of it, for the tooth fairy."

Pa Schnee smiled at Weiss and Blake. Mum Schnee nodded, but still didn't look up from her papers. "Thats very diligent of you, Weiss sweetie," she said.

Winter frowned. "Let me tell you, I got some 'loose teeth' from the bar on base."

"Now Winter, we've told you; Schnee's work hard for what we get. Unless you knocked them out yourself you have no buisness bragging about them."

Winter stuttered just a bit. "S-some of them, yeah."

"Oh, that's very interesting, then," mum Schnee said.

Winter brightened up, the first time Blake has seen her do so. And she shot Weiss a smirk, though Weiss didnt notice. And then Winter started talking about some sort of bar fight she had been in.

Which left Blake to tease Weiss, then. Good; Blake did that much better than Weiss's parents or sister.

Blake stole a piece of meat off Weiss's fork, right before her human was going to put it in her mouth.

"Bla~ake~!"

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Halfway done with this arc now. Hope the drama's not too overwhelming, and that there's enough fluff and jokes to get everyone through.


	28. Two weeks of Winter, part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weiss makes a promise to Blake. In the possible future, Weiss has a realization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So no matter how hard I try to lose subscribers, I end up with a net gain after each chapter. So today we're going to talk about sexual assault. 
> 
> But for seriously; consider this a content warning for that. I'm aiming for satirizing the attitude of entitlement around it, so here's hoping that it lands.
> 
> Also, I'd like to reiterate that I have no idea what I'm doing, at all, all the time.
> 
> EDIT: LIKE HOW TO SPELL JAUNE'S NAME I SWEAR TO DUST I AM THE WORST EVERY TIME- fixed now

Blake awoke. The door opened. Blake wasn't sure which one of those happened first.

And Winter was there. Blake was, briefly, impressed by the human's sneakyness.

Blake blinked.

Winter put a finger to her lips.

"Hey there, you little blasphemous freak of nature," whispered sister Schnee. She smiled a smile that Blake would have thought was sincere if she hadn't seen what Winter was like these past few days. "I have something for you." Winter pulled out a bag of Tuna Snackies (tm) {If they taste kind of fishy, that means they're working!}

Blake blinked, but like, in an optimistic way. Well. Maybe Winter was actually sincere, here.

Blake reached out to grab the bag-

Winter pulled the bag away and her smile intensified. "Not here, we'll wake Weiss," she said.

Blake blinked. But she saw where Winter was coming from.

Blake managed to extract herself from Weiss's arms, with Weiss only grunting a little. Blake figured Weiss would be fine, without her, for a while.

 

It was early enough that no maids would be around in the hallway even if any of them hadn't used their vacation days. The solitude was comforting.

Blake reached out for the bag, and Winter didn't pull it away. Blake stuffed a handful of snackies into her mouth and chewed, ravenously.

"Look at how much Weiss cares about you," Winter said. She rubbed Blake's head, and Blake figured she could allow it, just this once, in exchange for the snackies.

"But does she really? Do you think she actually cares about what  _you_ want? Or does she just like the idea of caring about someone else, without actually taking their feelings into account?"

Blake chewed on her mouthful of snackies.

"Does she just care about herself, and she assumes you feel the same?"

Blake stuffed more snackies into her mouth _**"weiss** **loves me,"**_ she said with her mouth full. **  
**

"Or does she only love how you make her feel?'

Blake paused eating. Then she stuffed her mouth again.

"Do you like how _she_ makes _you_ feel?"

Blake paused eating again. She didn't resume until after Winter finished her spheal.

"I bet you could use a bit of a break," Winter said, "Even if its just to reaffirm that you do, in fact, like that Weiss is all over you, all the time."

Blake looked at the floor.

"So we're going to play a little hide and seek. If Weiss finds you, then it's over, but you can't help her find you. It'll be a game!"

Blake blinked.

Winter pulled out another bag. "All you got to do is stay still and eat some nice fish-flavored tapioca crackers. And you can have as many of those as you want." Winter smiled again.

Blake nodded and smiled, slightly, but she felt conflicted about it.

  
 

 

 

 

 

 Blake was in some sort of cupboard, curled up, enjoying the darkness and her tuna snackies and, maybe, the feeling of solitude, without someone squeezing her.

"Blake!" Weiss called from somewhere in the halls. Blake stuffed another handful of tuna snackies into her mouth. "Bla~ake~"

"Blakey where are you?" Weiss entered the room, now.

 "Oh no," came Winter's voice, "Did you lose your little doll?"

There was a pause.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO BLAKE?"

"Oh? Why do you think _I_ had anything to do with it?"

"Because you've hated Blake since you got here! She didn't do anything wrong and she's mine so why do you care give her baaacckk!"

Blake overheard a scuffle, and Winter laughing. "Maybe she just left on her own, because she realized she hates you."

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Weiss sniffled, once. "Blaaaaakke!"

Blake opened another bag. There was a soft pop when it opened, and Winter didn't look over to her hiding spot, but neither did Weiss.

"Blaaaaaakke! Blakey where are you?!" Weiss called at some point.

Blake quieted the guilt in her stomach with more fishy snacks.

"MOM! WINTER HID BLAKE AND SHE WON'T TELL ME WHERE SHE IIIISSS~"

"Mom and Dad aren't here this morning," Winter stated, triumphantly.

"BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKE!~" Weiss called out.

Blake grabbed another salty treat from her bag and savored it for a little longer than usual.

When Blake peaked out from where she was stashed. Weiss opened every drawer and looked behind every curtain and in every flowerpot and under every couch and chair.

There was one security guard around, as far as Blake could tell. Someone new, who agreed to work this weekend.

Weiss enlisted the security guard, but it appeared inexperience also meant hesitance and uncertainty; Weiss was much faster and thorough and desperate.

And the both of them missed Blake's hiding spot, and moved to the next room. Blake shrugged. 

And Winter appeared. She smiled at Blake, evilly, and handed the Faunus another bag of snackies. Then she picked Blake out of the hiding spot and moved her to a place Weiss had just checked.

Winter managed to look nonchalant by the time Weiss returned and checked the other half of the room- including Blake's previous hiding spot.

This went on for a while.

Blake could every so often catch Weiss's expression from where she was hiding. Weiss was a complete mess, but every few minutes she'd wipe her eye on her sleeve and swallow and her expression would look more determined, but each time, the determination was tinged with more and more sadness and fear.

Eventually, Weiss approached Winter. Blake could see the older sister smirk. "Where'd you put Blake?" Weiss managed to say.

"I'll give you a hint," Winter said.

Weiss looked expectant and hopeful.

Winter smirked harder. "Where do we put the rest of our garbage?"

Blake frowned.

Weiss looked horrified. "NOT THE TRASH INCINERATOR!" she ran out of the room. "QUICK, SOMEONE TURN IT OFF!"

And then Weiss ran out of the room.

Blake didn't actually know where the incinerator room was located, but it was, apparently, far enough away that Weiss's voice wouldn't reach the main foyer. It sounded like it could be warm, so maybe Blake would check it out at some point.

 

 

A while later, Weiss returned, covered in bits of garbage and food waste. Her face was tilted down and her mouth was contorted in a frown. Her eye was narrow and wet and her medical eyepatch noticeably damp and she slumped when she walked, slow and heavy, to the middle of the room. She fell to the floor, defeated. A banana peel slid off her head, onto the ground.

Weiss let out a long, sobbing wail. "Blaaaaaaaakee~"

Blake paused eating.

Weiss continued to sob. "Blllaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkeee~"

Blake inhaled, and exhaled, and fished another fishy snack out of her bag and ate it.

 

 

 

\-------------------- A POSSIBLE FUTURE ------------------------

 

 

 

It's lunchtime, and Weiss eyes her healthy food with a little consternation. She knows the importance of eating healthy, now, but a part of her is still cross about it, especially when she's upset in general.

And maybe, she's trying to distract herself from another thing she knows is a good idea and that, theoretically, she should want, but still has some doubts about.

Like, she knows she should just go over and sit with team JNPR. They're friends, and Weiss is trying to be friendly, and she's talked to them before. And it would beat sitting alone, or eating in team RWBY's dorm. And, probably, Yang and Ruby and Blake would sit down with them as well, and two of those people Weiss would enjoy talking to.

Eventually, Weiss gathers up the nerve to sit next to Nora and across from Jaune. Nora's eating breakfast for lunch, Ren's eating some cecropia leaves, while Jaune has dinosaur chicken nuggets.

"Dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets!" Jaune responds triumphantly, with a childish smile that could possibly be considered extremely cute. 

"Distinction noted," Weiss ventures. She pulls the banana out of her lunch and starts cutting it into bite-sized pieces.

"You don't like dinosaurs?" Yang asks. She and Blake and Ruby sit down, at some point. They were in a group, apparently.

"If Jurassick-ing me, I can say I'm a fan." Yang smirks. Weiss shoots Yang a small smile.

"Well," Weiss states. " I have to say my cene's more 'Halo' than 'Paleo'."

Yang's smile widens to encompass her whole face. She looks impressed. Weiss stifles her smile. "Weiss, you make puns? Oh my gosh!"

"I- I used to, I guess." Weiss rubs the back of her head.

"That pun was unwarranted!" Nora yells, exasperatedly, "Nobody was talking about scenes before you brought it up!"

"I apologize if the material was too obscure for you, Nora," Weiss states, "But you don't have to be so dino- _sore_ about it."

Weiss feels conflicted that that pun got more laughs. Like, Yang is laughing, and Weiss feels strangely happy. Ruby's also chuckling, and Weiss feels conflicted. Blake smiles grimly- but Weiss pretends not to care. Jaune, however, is still laughing and sputtering.

And now he's coughing- violently, his hands to his mouth. He has tears in his eyes while he learns to breath again.

"You okay?" Yang asks.

"I just inhaled- some dinosaurs-"

"I wouldn't recommenced that," Weiss states. "Nor would I recommend nasally ejecting them."

Yang nods. "Yes, it was quite the Cambrian explosion from your nose, just then."

Weiss nods in approval. It doesn't help Jaune's choking situation though.

But afterwards, eventually Jaune recovers

And the whole time, Pyrrha, had been staring, looking slightly stunned.

"That's it," Pyrrha says. She stands up and walks over to Jaune, who looks at her with a bewildered expression.  "You're just too cute, Jaune. I'm taking you now."

"What do you- _~uwa~!"_

And Pyrrha lifts Jaune up by his armpits and places him over her right shoulder, so that his top half is behind her. She starts walking to the dorms.

"P-Pyrrha! Put me down!"

"Im taking you for myself. It'll be faster if I carry you." 

"People are going to see up my skirrrt~"

Pyrrha smiles. She pats Jaune's bottom twice, eliciting another squeak from the shorter human. "It's okay; you're wearing cute panties today."

Jaune's blush intensifies. "P-Pyrrha!"

And Weiss looks around. Nora and Ren are wearing poker faces.

Ruby looks amused, however. "He fled, but she pursu'd, (though more, it seemed, inflam'd with lust than rage), and swifter far, she over took and in embraces forcible and foule ingendring him-"

Yang and Blake look like they're trying not to get involved. Maybe this was normal?

 

"Help!" Jaune cries, from halfway across the cafeteria. "Somebody help me~!"

Weiss looks around again. Nobody reacts. Ruby continues chuckling and chanting.

Then Weiss sighs and gets up. She follows the amazon and intercepts her. "Pyrrha- wait."

Pyrrha smiles at Weiss, predatorily, and Weiss then intimately understands what Jaune was worried about. "What is it, Weiss?" says Pyrrha.

"You can't just take Jaune." Weiss states.

"Why not?"

Weiss opens and closes her mouth. "Because he's not yours and he clearly doesn't want you to?"

"Well, he says that _now_." says Pyrrha.

"That- yes, that is exactly it. So you can't take him."

"But I bet I can change his mind."

"But-" Weiss is worried that she is having to explain things. "You have to do that first, if you truly cared about his feelings."

"Oh, what, so the entire discipline of persuasion is invalid? I'm not allowed to change anyone's mind, once they decide they don't want something?"

Weiss scrunches her mouth. "You're not persuading him, right now. You're assuming you can, and then skipping to the end, but his feelings haven't changed."

"And...?"

"And there's an order to things! It determines if he's going to enjoy it!"

Pyrrha smiles. "Hey, I _guarantee_ that he'll enjoy it."

Jaune squeaks.

Weiss rubs her brow. "Okay, my mistake; it doesn't matter if he enjoys it, I shouldn't have said that. It matters if he wants it, and he doesn't, so you have to respect that." 

"Really?"

"Yes, really!"

"Then," Pyrrha looks slightly annoyed. "What's the point of a gendered double standard if we don't get to abuse it?"

Weiss opens her mouth. She blinks a few times. "Your statement implies that you are well aware that what you are doing is wrong.

Pyrrha flashes her teeth at the wall as she looks conflicted. "I meeean- he's just so cute~."

"It doesn't matter how cute he is. You can't just take him home and do whatever with him, if he doesn't want you to. He's his own person."

"Y-yes," Jaune says.

Pyrrha sighs. "Very well." She puts Jaune down.

Jaune closes his eyes and sticks his arms out and runs to his savior.  "Weissss~" Jaune emits.

"Well, Jaune," Pyrrha holds her hand out, and Jaune tries to hide behind Weiss. "Sorry about that. I'm going to claim cuteness-proximity-based insanity."

"That's not a real thing," Weiss says.

"What, you never just saw something that was just so cute your ethics shut down?"

Weiss blinks. And she remembers something. A lot of somethings, actually.

A _whole_ lot of things. She turns to where Blake is sitting, and sees that Blake is looking at the far wall, with a pained expression on her face. Weiss and Pyrrha's conversation hadn't exactly been quiet...

Weiss steps back and clutches her chest, "I- Oh dustdamnit."

Pyrrha rubs her head. "Well, Jaune, maybe someday I'll get to persuade you and do the proper order to things or whatever."

Jaune squeaks.

Pyrrha smirks and turns to leave. "Now, if you'll excuse me, there's something I have to take care of. Aha. I'll be in my bunk."

Weiss doesn't pay attention to the other two. She brings her hand to her mouth and tries to make eye contact with Blake.

Was that what Blake was on about? Was that was why Blake didn't think she respected her-

Blake is getting up to leave, and Weiss tries to hurry- she looks at Blake- how sad Blake looks, and how much Weiss must seem like an insensitive jerk to her-

Before Weiss can throw herself at Blake's feet, Jaune intercepts her.

"Jaune, can we table this for a mome-"

"I knew I wasn't wrong about you," Jaune grabs Weiss's hands and clasps them in front of him.

Weiss blinks.

Jaune inhales. "Ever since I first saw you, I knew- I knew you were perfect- you're so kind and smart and beautiful-"

Weiss realizes something. "Oh, no-" She steps back, but Jaune steps forward. "No no no Jaune please don't do this-

"I love you, Weiss!" Jaune clutches Weiss's hands higher. "I love you, so much, since the first time I saw you."

"I- Jaune-"

"Please go out with me?" 

"Jaune." Weiss breaths. "No."

"But-" Jaune lets go of Weiss's hands. "I love you-"

"Jaune, we just met this semester. We don't know anything about each other."

"I know you're beautiful, and kind, and smart, and you aren't very social but you're trying to be, and you like puns-"

Weiss frowns. "That's really superficial, and based off incomplete information."

"Then we can get to know each other! After we date!"

Weiss forces a smile. "Jaune. No."

Jaune looks like he's going to cry. "Wont- won't you just give me a chance? Please?"

Weiss thinks of all the reasons that it might be fun- and all the reasons why she doesn't have any desire to, but maybe part of that's just because it came out of nowhere-

Jaune wipes his eyes on his wrist. He looks down. "Is it- is it because-"

"It's not because of how you express yourself, no," Weiss says. "I just don't like you in the same way, and I'm already in love with someone else."

"Whaa~" Jaune says. "Is- is it Pyrrha?"

"What? No, it's not Pyrrha!" Weiss blinks a few times. "You really can't tell?"

"I-no?"

Weiss sighs. Figures the only person who can't tell is someone who has a crush on her.

"Blake and I were childhood friends, and I've been in love with her my whole life. Maybe I just realized that, recently."

"I - wow." Jaune coughs.

"So, you can see that I don't think I'm ready to date, right now. I expect we'll still hang out, though."

Jaune pouts. "O-okay." He sniffles.

He turns to leave, but when he's almost but not quite out of sight, Jaune covers his face with his hands and sobs and runs to the dorms. Weiss sighs.

And when Weiss turns back to their lunch table, Blake's already gone. 

"Dustdammit Jaune," Weiss says. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

\------------------- FLUFF INTERMISSION ------------------------

 

 

 

Weiss pushed Blake into the dressing room, and she turned to the maids. "So; Blake here wants to play in the snow, but it's just too cold for the poor kitty!"

Weiss hugged Blake and rubbed her cheek against Blake's ears. Her cheek was literally freezing, so Blake recoiled, with a chattering yowl. Weiss turned to Blake. "But don't' worry, Blakey; we have the technology!" Weiss snapped her fingers.

The maids appeared, presenting different clothes.

"First, is a layer of breathable, thermal underwears," Weiss said. She tried to pull Blake's pajamas off of her.

Blake resisted, hissing at Weiss. She was already cold- not as cold as she was when Weiss tried to drag her into the snow, but still colder than she had any desire to be. And if she took off her pajamas, she'd be _even colder._

"Kitty nooo~" Weiss said as she lost the skirmish. "Blakey, I promise you'll be warm, but first we need to dress you right. Okay?"

Blake calmed down and nodded. She let Weiss replace her pajamas with a selection of some sort of stretchy long-sleeved shirt and long pants, offered by the maids.

Weiss put Blake on the bed so that she could put some socks on her, made of the same material as the shirt and pants, rolled up to Blake's calf, overlapping the pants. 

"Okay, now for a layer of wool. Wool doesn't get colder when it gets wet, so you'll be good even if the snow soaks through the outer layer.

Weiss snapped her fingers, and the maids appeared with some wool sweaters and wool pants. Blake didn't object when Weiss picked a sweater with a cat on it, because it was 'just like you, Blakey'.

After Weiss finished adjusting Blake's clothes, the maids showed up again.

"And now, we put a layer of ceramic insulation," Weiss said. Snapped her fingers, and the maids appeared with rolls of white cotton- like stuff. Blake had remembered those, from when the west wing of the mansion was being repaired. They were really itchy, and not tasty at all.

Weiss wrapped parts of Blake's limbs and torso in the insulation.

The stocky maid stepped forward. "Now would be the time to put in the medium-temperature heating rods, if you'd like."

"Does that sound nice, Blakey?" Weiss asked. Blake smiled slightly and nodded; she liked sleeping in parts of the mansion with exposed heating rods.

Blake stretched as Weiss looked over some schematics. Apparently, she stretched too much, because the overlapping layers between the bottom of her shirts and her waistbands got pulled apart, and Blake's stomach felt a stab of chill. Blake mrawed.

Weiss immediately ran over. "What's wrong, Blakey?"

Blake pouted and pointed at her stomach. Weiss pouted in sympathy and redid Blake's layers.

"Okay, so how do we make sure that doesn't happen again?" Weiss asked, in general.

The young maid appeared, holding a thick, hollow silver cylinder. "Duct tape. 't cures wat aile's ya."

"Okay," Weiss said. She wrapped parts of Blake's stomach in strips off the silver cylinder. She used more of the strips to attach seven metal rods to Blake's arms, legs, and torso. Each of the rods had some sort of string coming out of one end, which Weiss bunched up to a lead to the small of Blake's back.

"Now Blake is slightly more of a fire hazard than normal," said the gaunt maid.

Blake knew, cognitively, that being on fire probably wouldn't be fun, but a part of her wondered if it would be preferable to touching the snow again.

"The battery pack says it's supposed to last for sixteen hours, so we put a spare one in the backpack, just in case," said the tall maid.

Weiss nodded.

Then she stood up. "Okay, now we do another layer of wool, to keep the rods in place."

The maids procured some slightly larger sweaters and pants. Weiss sometimes liked to dress Blake in clothes that were too big for her, because apparently it looked cute. it took some effort to pull that layer onto Blake.

"Okay, and now for the waterproof layer." Weiss took some snow pants and a puffy jacket from the maids and wrapped them onto Blake.

"Okay, and now for your face, Blakey!"

Weiss realized the ski mask she was going to use for the first layer didn't have holes for Blake's ears, so the gaunt maid cut some impromptu holes in them. It took a couple tries to get them in the right spot.

"Okay, so after the ski mask, we do a hat with ear flaps!" Then Weiss frowned, because the ear flaps were for humans. She turned to the gaunt maid. "Should we cut holes in these too?"

"I don't think Blake would like it if her ears were exposed. Aren't they more sensitive than most of her body?"

"Well," The tall maid smirked, "More sensitive than everything except her- oof!"

The stocky maid recovered from jump-kicking the tall maid in the stomach, and turned to Weiss. "We have this sort of thermal wrap? It's not sticky, so it might fall off, but it won't get caught in Blake's fluff."

They decided to go with that, and after that, a pair of snow goggles, which made the whole room dark, and after that, a couple thematic hats, and Blake's head was declared snow-proof.

They put two layers of gloves onto Blake's hands before Weiss suddenly got excited. "And mittens! We need mittens, because they're for kittens! Just like you, Blakey!" Weiss jumped on her heels. 

So Blake ended up in clothes without separate fingers. Hopefully she wouldn't need to scratch anything or play the piano or something.

And after that, they strapped the battery packs to Blake's back and hooked up the heating rods. Blake suddenly felt comfortably warm. She purred.

"Yay!" Weiss said.

The gaunt maid looked over Blake. "She looks like a big marshmallow."

"A right brilliant fluffy marshmerrow, she does."

Weiss clutched her mouth. "Oh my Dust, you're so right! Blake, maybe you're secretly part marshmallow!"

 _ **"its horses that are part marshmallow, actually."**_ Blake said, through her layers. _**"specifically, their bones."**_

The guant maid laughed at that.

Blake waddled out to the back door, where the snow had accumulated almost fifteen centimeters high.

It was still sort of cold, but it was bearable. Blake steeped into the frozen water. It crunched under her foot.

Weiss, of course, was still in her sleeveless, knee-length nightdress. She jumped into the snow and rolled around in it, laughing all the while.

Weiss stood up, portions of snow stuck to her hair and clothes, and she walked towards Blake, smiling. Blake instinctively recoiled from the snow.

But the ensuing hug didn't make Blake any colder. Not any warmer either, but Blake appreciated it nonetheless. She patted Weiss's head with her mitten-ed hands. 

"I'll tell you a secret, Blakey," Weiss said, "Just because Schnees don't get bothered by the cold, doesn't mean we're warm. What warms a persons' heart is thinking about the people you love, and knowing that they love you back."

The stocky maid wiped away a tear. "I couldn't have said it better myself, my lady."

Weiss smiled back. "Yeah! Did you know my mom disagrees with you, on that?"

The maid shrugged. "Figures."

Weiss turned to Blake and looked her in the eyes. "So that's my secret Blake; I love you. Mwah! Even through all the layers and layers and layers of wool, cotton, polystyrene and asbestos, you warm my heart, Blakey."

Blake was glad that her face was covered in layers, so that Weiss couldn't see her blush.

 

 

 

 

 

\----------------- BACK TO A POSSIBLE FUTURE -------------------

 

 

 

Blake avoids Weiss for the rest of the day. But Weiss waits in their dorm room, and when the door opens and it's Blake, Weiss stands up, immediately. Blake pauses for just a moment.

"H-hey, Blake," Weiss begins.

Blake turns to Weiss. Her face is unreadable. "I'm just getting my coat and hat."

"I- You probably heard what I was talking to Pyrrha about, earlier," Weiss says.

Blake stops, her face to the wall and her hand on the coatrack. "Yes."

"And- I realize that I've, I've just pulled you out of whatever life you had, and that you never felt like I took your wishes into consideration, and- and I'm sorry."

Blake doesn't move.

Weiss continues. "And, if you'll have me back, I promise I'll be better, Blake. I promise."

"Is that all?" Blake says. Her voice is cold.

Weiss blinks. "I- no? Maybe?" Weiss can't keep a little bit of anger out of her voice, next. "What do you want me to say, Blake? What do I have to say to you to make this right?"

"You treated me like I was your pet, Weiss. Do you know how degrading that was?"

"YOU NEVER COMPLAINED!"

"THERE YOU GO AGAIN! ONLY THINKING OF YOURSELF!"

Blake breathing steadies. Weiss clutches her mouth. "And-" Weiss begins, "You were so much more to me than that. You know that, right, Blake?"

Blake grins, grimly. "You can't just erase all those years with a speech, Weiss.

Weiss chokes back a sob.

Blake resumes what she was doing. "I really feel like it'd be best if we spent some time apart. If you met someone else, maybe. I really don't think I can be around you anymore.

Blake starts getting dressed, in her outerwear.

"So, um," Weiss says, desperate to try to keep the conversation from ending, to maybe have another chance, "Where are you going?"

Blake pauses for a moment. "Ruby's taking me to this bookstore in town. We might have dinner afterwards."

Weiss ignores the pang in her chest. "So- so you do like Ruby-

"I DON'T KNOW, WEISS." Blake sighs in exasperation. "But she listens to me, and she respects me, and she's fun and intersting and really nice and I don't know why you have some sort of problem with her." Blake gestures to herself. "I'm trying to move on. I really think you should, too."

Weiss doesn't know what to say. She says nothing.

Blake pauses for a moment, halfway out the door. "Have a good evening, Weiss," she says.

The door closes.

Weiss sits down on her bed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Weiss sits alone in her dorm, in the dark.

And the door opens and the light turns on. It's Yang.

"Hey, Weissicle," Yang says, "Are you okay?"

Weiss breaths. "Do you do hugs, Yang?"

Yang holds her arms out and tilts her head to the side and smiles. "I do the best hugs."

And Weiss walks into Yang's arms, and the taller girl's arms wrap around her back.

Bar one exception, Yang is right, at least as far as Weiss is concerned. Weiss cries into Yang's shoulder, silently, for a little while.

"Is it- is it all pointless then?" Weiss says, eventually.

"You mean everything?" Yang  "Ruby has some opinions about that, if you really want to talk about it."

Weiss says nothing. Yang coughs.

"Okay, bad joke, my bad," Yang says. "You're talking about you and Blake, right?"

"If our entire relationship was based on something she didn't even want in the first place. Or if I treated her so badly without realizing it that she can never forgive me-"

"I- I mean," Yang says. Weiss feels the bond's head nod from side to side, "People can change, right? So maybe you shouldn't give up?"

"Maybe I should. Maybe I should just find someone else, who I haven't already messed things up with. Someone who I can just have a fresh start with."

"Well," Yang says. She gently takes Weiss's hand in hers, and clasps it, in entwined fingers. "Maybe you don't have to look too far for that."

Yang tries to bring Weiss's hand to her chest, against Yang's breast-

It's the suddenness that takes Weiss aback. Weiss steps out of the hug, pulling her hand free. "Yang - what are you doing?" Weiss says.

"You don't want to touch my breasts?" Yang asks. She frowns. "Isn't- isn't that what people want?"

Weiss blinks. "Yang-"

Yang breaths, heavily, once, and her voice almost cracks. "Am I just not good enough for anyone? Am I not attractive?"

"Yang-"

"I just- isn't- Why can't people just -"

Yang starts crying.

Weiss pulls Yang's head into her chest. Yang's head isn't as fluffy as Weiss remembers Blake being, but Yang takes very good care of her hair, and it's rather nice. Weiss runs her hand along Yang's head.

Yang nuzzles Weiss's neck and wraps her arms around Weiss's waist. It's been a while since Weiss has done this with someone. A part of Weiss is acutely aware of the, erm, softer parts of Yang, but Weiss puts those thoughts away, for now. And it's not like she dislikes just holding Yang, like this. 

Yang's breathing steadies, after a while.

"Heh," Yang says into Weiss's collarbone, "You're good at hugs too."

Weiss stifles her smile. "Am I?"

"Yeah." Yang rubs her head against Weiss's shoulders.

"Well, I'm happy to help." Weiss suppresses a chuckle. "I feel like I haven't been able to do that a lot, recently."

"Well, you helped me. Thank you," Yang says. She continues to mewl around in Weiss's arms.

"And- did- did you actually want to hook up?" Weiss ventures. She worries about Yang's answer. 

Yang pauses. "Honestly," Yang says, "I've never wanted to hook up with anyone. But people are weird about being intimate if you're not sharing a piece of what quickens the rot, and I figure, hey, maybe its a small price to pay? I mean, going out to dinner isn't bad, and I could just put up with the smooching and the touching, but at least we'd get to snuggle."

"So that what you want? Just snuggling?"

Yang pauses. "I- I mean, It's not like I only want that. I like hanging out. I like just talking. But if someone want's to snuggle, they usually also want it to go further, you know. They want to do some ... some other stuff, and they say snuggling and not going further is weird."

Weiss nods. "Okay." After a moment, she continues. "I think I understand. Blake and I used to snuggle all the time. It used to not be weird, but at some point it did."

"See?" Yang says. "Why is it weird?"

"Well," Weiss says, "I don't know. A lot of people see it as a prelude to, you know, the other stuff, so maybe that's why it has a sexual connotation?"

Yang leans back. "Oh. I- I didn't mean to imply that we- you know-"

"No, I figured." Weiss says. She hold her arms out again. "It's okay. I'm not going to do anything you don't want." 

Yang smiles and laughs, slightly, in relief, and they hold each other for a while.

"Are you going to be okay?" Yang says, eventually.

Weiss smirks forlornly. "I could ask you that same question."

Yang smiles, genuinely. "Nah, I've been fine for ages. My issues aren't new. But- I'd love to have someone to snuggle with, without having to worry about it becoming something else."

Weiss smiles. "Yeah. I can do that. I don't dislike, ah, snuggling."

"But- you need someone to date, too, right?" Yang said. "I figured out a while back that most people aren't like me- so it's fine, but I think you shouldn't have to pretend you don't want that, if you do?"

"Um," Weiss says. "I - I think I do, but- I'd been obsessed with Blake, you know? And if we're going to keep doing this, well, I don't want you to think I'd rather be with someone else."

"Hey, it's not like, liking people is a zero-sum thing. You can be intimate with different people without compromising your feelings for any one of them, especially if you're with different people for different reasons."

Weiss scrunches her mouth. "I think I see what you're saying. I'll think about it."

Yang smiles, reassuringly. "Sorry for harping on this so much, it's just- I don't want you to feel like you're giving up dating, for me."

Weiss breaths, and decides to acknowledge the trembling in her, let's say heart, for once. "I mean- I do. I do want to- to date, and to be- be intimate with- someone- but-"

Weiss bites her lip. "I - I'd feel like I was betraying Blake. "

"Did you promise Blake anything? I mean, even if so, you can keep multiple people in your heart." 

"Well, Blake wants me to _stop_ keeping her in my heart," Weiss says, "And I do kind of want to move on? Maybe? I did just tell Jaune I wasn't ready to date."

"If he's not your type, then he's not your type. And if you're not actually ready, then that's fine."

Yang sits up. "But I was getting at is, if you want to find, like, a girlfriend or something, for what I can't give you, then I'd like to help you." She smiles. "Consider it repayment for the snuggles, if you want."

Weiss thinks about it.

 

 

And, a few weeks later, (A few weeks of snuggles with Yang, of sharing their insecurities and hopes and lazy moments, of weathering together the more difficult parts of life, of Weiss nursing the Blake-shaped wound in her heart) Weiss agrees.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 ------------------- PRESENT DAY ------------------------

 

 

 

 

 

Weiss continued to cry Blake's name, over and over and over and over-

Blake sighed. She figured now would be a good time to go cheer Weiss up with her mere presence. Weiss had suffered enough. Also, Blake ran out of tuna snackies.

Blake ninja-ed out of her hidey hole and walked up to Weiss.

"Blaaaaaake~ come baaaackk~"

Weiss was in the middle of the room, slumped over with her face turned upwards, contorted by her wailing. Her eye was closed and her mouth was opened and her cheeks were red and puffy and wet and it was all just really gross. The garbage may have had something to do with it.

So Blake sat down across from Weiss and waited for Weiss to open her eye and see Blake and be cheered up.

And Weiss kept crying. At one point, she paused to inhale long and deep and Blake leaned forward expectantly-

But Weiss never opened her eye, and she started wailing again. "Blaaaaaaaakkke~"

Blake blinked.

Blake sighed. Maybe she should say something?

Blake left to use the bathroom, since Weiss wasn't looking.

And when she came back, and Weiss was still crying, Blake flopped on the floor in front of Weiss, and she waited for Weiss to stop being so obsessed with her own sadness and notice her.

At some point, Blake fell asleep.

 

 

 

 

And when Blake woke up, Weiss was still crying.

Blake sighed. She got up.

Even though Weiss smelled worse than usual and was covered in garbage, Blake walked up and hugged Weiss, around the neck and shoulders. Weiss's eye shot open and she gasped, elation tempering her grief. After a moment, she hugged Blake back, resting her head in the crook of Blake's neck.

"Blake you came back!" Weiss managed to say. She let out one more long wail as she rubbed her wet, gross face all around Blake's neck. 

And Weiss squeezed Blake. Blake thought she had been squeezed before, but now Weiss was actually squeezing her, more tightly than Blake thought she would be able to. Blake was worried her ribs might break. She let out an ' _ **urk**_.'

And by now, what members of the staff were around had come out of hiding.

"Wait," said the new security officer, to Weiss. "Blake's a person?"

"She's a kitty! The cutest, fluffiest kitty ever!" Weiss said, and then more softly, with her nose rubbing Blake's cheek, "She's _my_ kitty."

"I thought she was, like, a stuffed animal or something."

Blake had since shifted into a position that allowed her to breath. She patted her stomach. _**"well, I am**_ **stuffed** _ **."** _

Weiss held Blake out at arms length and pouted. "Blake, did you get into our food, and that's why I didn't see you all day?"

Blake blinked. She didn't confirm or deny that.

Weiss smiled softly, again, and she resumed nuzzling Blake's neck. "It's okay: I know mean old Winter took you away from me. That's the only reason you'd ever leave my side."

 Blake blinked. She didn't confirm or deny that.

"So I promise, Blakey, I'm never going to let you go again."

Blake blinked. 

"I mean it Blakey; I'll never, ever let you go, ever again. When the world succumbs to darkness and the last stars breath out gasps of dying light, as all the monuments of humanity crumble into mere vestiges and the vestiges fade into dust and the memories of memories die with tremulous whimpers on the lips of the last lonely scions of a world long dead; after our pallid sun implodes into a husk and the husk's heartbeat cools into absolute stillness; after all the stars in the sky wink out, one by one until only a blank black sky greets the charnal cinders of the dust of the withered skeletons of any who could even lament, with mournful breath, it's inevitability, after even Dust returns to ash and all the lights in the sky blink out-  after all that, there'll still be me, and you, and I'll still be holding on to you, Blake. Forever."

Blake blinked. _**"cool."**_

Weiss giggled and jumbled Blake's head.

Blake tried to stand up-

And Weiss got up with her, still hugging her around the waist. Weiss adjusted her position a little, though.

 ** _"wait,"_** Blake coughed, " _ **you didn't- you didn't mean that literally, did you?"**_

"Yes I did!" Weiss smiled. She nuzzled Blake's side. "I love you, Blakey. Mwah! And I'll never let you go. Never ever! Never ever ever ever ever...."

Blake was suddenly very happy that she used the restroom beforehand. On the upside, maybe Weiss wouldn't be able to give her a bath like this, even though, because of the garbage, Blake might need one (not that she'd ever admit that.)

 

 

 

 

 

And Weiss was still hugging Blake when the adult Schnees returned. Weiss managed to clean the garbage off of herself, while still holding Blake the whole time. 

Blake and Weiss and Winter ended up in the same room as Winter and the parents.

"So," began mum Schnee. She smiled, hopefully, "Did you three have a good time, today?"

"Oh, it was great," deadpanned Winter. "Almost as bad as talking with Donna's parents last month after having failed our winter combat exercise."

"Winter was mean to Blake," Weiss pouted. She rubbed her cheek on Blake's head.

Mum Schnee frowned. "Winter, you know I wanted you to learn from Weiss, while we were away."

"Yeah yeah, _Weiss_ is the perfect one," Winter mumbled. but she refreshed her smile and said, more loudly. "Of course. I shall try to learn from the perfect little heiress, going forward."

"Winter," mum Schnee continued, "Weiss has become very diligent and emotionally stable these past few months, and I really think that you could learn something from her."

Both sisters were mostly silent through the rest of the lecture.

 

 

 

 

And later, when Winter was away, Mum Schnee kneeled down in front of her daughter and tried to make eye contact. Weiss pouted at the ground.

"I took your proposal into consideration," the adult said, "And if you would like to go camping until Winter has to- gets to return to training, I think we can put out some missives among the maids. There is a good possibility that someone would be interested in accompanying you on a camping trip, while we deal - while we enjoy Winters company."

"Oh." Weiss stated. "Um. Maybe some other time. I think I should stay here, so I can show Blake that I can protect her." Weiss pulled Blake's head up a little and continued her hug.

Pa Schnee's mouth flattened, slightly. "Oh? I thought Blake was supposed to be protecting you."

Blake blinked. That was right; she was supposed to be the badass ninja bodyguard here. But wasn't that a secret? She shot the taller Schnee a look.

"What?" Weiss said. "But Blake's too fluffy for that!"

Blake worried that her cover might be blown. Mum Schnee turned to glare at her husband. Pa Schnee refreshed his smile and rubbed his head. "Perhaps I mispoke. I was referring to the fact that Blake is taller than you, and thus would be more likely to scare away things like bears and panthers and sisters."

Weiss pouted. "That's just because of her shoes! Blake's definitely super small and cute."

"Weiss, sweetie," mum Schnee said, "Blake doesn't wear shoes. You're just short. But that's okay; we still love you."

Weiss pouted. "No I'm nooooot~"

As Weiss's parents continued to tease her, Blake looked inward. She had caused Weiss a lot of pain today, all because of some stupid grudge. She felt shame.

 

 

And after Weiss prepared the both of them for bed, Blake resolved to protect Weiss for the rest of Winters stay, even if it meant that she had to be apart from her. 

So in the middle of the night, when Weiss was asleep, Blake managed to extract herself from Weiss's arms, with Weiss only grunting a little. Blake figured Weiss would be fine, without her, for a while.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A POSSIBLE OMAKE:

 

 

Weiss waits in the lunch room. Its late, but there are still a few people here. One of them is Yang. Weiss sits across from Yang and gathers her nerves.

"And if you need to be bailed out at all, just wave." Yang says. 

Weiss breaths. "Okay."

Yang gives her a thumbs up. "You can do this."

Weiss approaches the cute upperclasswoman she's seen around. Yang had agreed with Weiss in her choice.

Weiss takes one more breath. She can just have a conversation, maybe flirt a little, and then start moving on from Blake. Straightforward. She just needs to gather the courage for that first step.

"H-hey," Weiss says, once shes close enough to where the girl is sitting. She claps her hands in front of her. 

"Sweet Frith, if you've got the nerve to approach, then sit down at least."

"O-okay," Weiss stutters. She sits down, across from the upperclasswoman, and tries to remember what she was going to say. 

"I can't digest meat," Velvet says to the square of extremely rare steak on her fork. "But the consumption of flesh is symbolic. And humans eat indigestible materials all the time, you know."

Velvet sticks the fork of steak into her mouth and chews, slowly.

Weiss coughs. "You mean, like, on aeroliners?"

Velvet chews her mouthful more. She stares into the distance. "Funny," she enunciates.

Weiss coughs again. "S-so-"

Weiss flinches as Velvet impales another piece of steak onto her fork. She lifts it up and examines it. "So," she states, "You have someone you want to forget about, and you thought maybe flirting with a cute, lonely Faunus girl might sooth the ache."

And that's what Weiss is used to; everyone seeing right through her. It's a little refreshing. "Is it that obvious?"

"Pfeffaroo's mentioned something about it." Velvet looks up and waves the air, slightly. "Not explicitly, but she's bad at keeping secrets. Or perhaps I'm good at uncovering them."

Weiss chuckles, awkwardly, at the wall. It made sense Blake and Velvet had talked, but Weiss had not wanted to assume anything, before hand.

"I mean, I just wanted to talk, maybe?" Weiss says.

"You don't want to nibble my ears?" Velvet leans forward amd wiggles the lapine organs atop her head. Weiss blushes. "You are _that_ Schnee's daughter, aren't you?"

Weiss scrunches her mouth. "Y-you can't believe everything the tabloids say-"

"So you have a weird racial fetish, you're the scion of the worst offense to Faunus equality in the last two centuries,  _and_ you're a freshman. So that's three strikes against you," Velvet says to a slice of meat on her fork. She devours it.

Weiss forces a smile. "I understand. I'll leave now-"

"So impatient. Very well." Before Weiss can get up, Velvet scoops her steak into a lunch box and stands up, stretching her back. Weiss blinks.

"Well," Velvet hefts her bag and her camera over her shoulder and beckons to Weiss with the hand that isn't carrying her lunch box. "Are you coming or not?"

"W-what?" Weiss follows anyway, though. "But- we only just met, and we haven't talked-"

"Oh, sweet Frith; I'm not asking you to marry me or anything. You're here for one reason, aren't you? And you're a sub, right? I wasn't misreading that?"

It's the suddenness that takes Weiss aback. "I- I've been described as a switch," Weiss stutters.

"That's fine, then." Velvet's expression softens. "Of course, if you changed your mind- or if you do at any point- then just say so. No problem. I won't do anything you're not comfortable with." 

"I-" Weiss takes a breath. "I mean- lead the way?"

Velvet smiles. "Safeword's 'photoplasty'."

And Weiss gives Yang a nod and follows Velvet to her dorm.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm proud to bring you "Scene's from the alternate universe where RWBY is a queer+ Shoujo starring under-socialized nerd Weiss and her harem composed of childhood friend Blake, asexual homoromantic roommate Yang, Girl Prince Pyrrha, otokonoko Jaune, polyamorous couple RenNora, and domme sempai Velvet." Ahahahah lay me in that trashheap now. (-_-') But, yeah, I can see how that might be worse off as a condensed interlude in a satire fic, rather than its own thing. Hmm. Too late to turn back now, though. 
> 
> I'll admit to some poor chapter planning here; I could have put everything in the previous chapter into chapter 26, and then Weiss's lecture to Pyrrha and Jaune's confession in the last chapter, so that there was some more time to process the future segments. I worry that it felt like Weiss went kind of fast from 'Holding out for Blake' and 'Willing to hit on strangers', and her and Yang's . I wonder if anybody would be really annoyed if I moved all those scenes around over like eight chapters, after they've been published. 
> 
> And also, more seriously, I guarantee no expertise in the experiences of asexual people. Apologies to any ace readers who don't see their experiences properly portrayed here. I welcome any corrections.


	29. Two Weeks of Winter, part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plot moves forward. Fulfilling the 'definitely some sexual scenes' promise in the fic description.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine the fetish role-play in the beginning will lose this fic some subscribers. But you could probably say that for the whole possible future, or for most chapters in this fic in general. 
> 
> And, also, I don't make any guarantees of accuracy, authenticity, or applicability in regards to the therapy scene. I believe I mentioned that I have no idea what I'm doing.

Weiss awakes. She must have drifted asleep. 

Right now, she is blindfolded. And tied to a chair, apparently. Oh yeah.

“Almost ready,” Velvet says, from somewhere. Then Weiss hears approaching footsteps. “Now, Weiss,” the faunus says, low and sultry, “What’s the safeword?

"'Photoplasty'."

“Good." There is some rustling. "I’m going to gag you now, and I want to hear how the safeword sounds."

And Velvet does. The gag tastes sterilized, which was probably a normal thing?

Weiss manages to enunciate through the gag (theater skills), but the long 'oo' sounds sounded fine without much effort. Maybe that was a deliberate consideration?

"So again, any time you want to stop, don't even worry about it. I might end up saying things that would influence you to keep going, like, 'I'm looking forward to this', or 'thanks for indulging me', but ignore those, if you want to stop. Please don't let me guilt you into doing something you're uncomfortable with. Cognitively, I know to stop, and my urges don't matter more than your comfort."

Weiss shrugs.

"Okay. I'm going to be in character, now. Again, safeword if anything happens that you're not comfortable with." 

And Velvet pulls off Weiss's blindfold. 

It's bright. Weiss blinks a couple times. She growls through the gag and pretends to struggle against the bonds. 

When her eyes adjust, Weiss sees that the chair she's tied to is in the middle of a white floor, ahead of a white wall, with two sets of lighting poles on opposite sides of the area. When her eyes adjust more, Weiss sees that this professional photography studio is set up in a corner of team CFVY's dorm. 

There is a <click> as Velvet snaps a picture. As Weiss's eyes adjust more, she sees that Velvet is blushing madly, shaking slightly.

"Welcome to my studio," Velvet gestures around. "It's nothing special, except for the work I do here." She smirks. "It's very special to me, you see."

Weiss shakes again, crying into the gag. The chair clacks against the ground, but Weiss tries not to tip it over with her theatrical struggles. Turns out, the chair was designed to not be able to do that, so she didn't need to worry. 

"Go ahead and scream, as much as you want." Velvet shoots Weiss a wicked smirk. "I'll wait until you've calmed down, as long as it takes. It's not like anybody's going to save you."

Velvet stands up straighter and her face and voice soften. "Out of character for a moment; please don't actually scream that much. I don't know how well the room is sound insulated, and we have neighbors."

Weiss nods. Then Velvet gets back into character, and Weiss does as well. 

“They say,” Velvet looks through her camera, “That I could put anyone in a dark corner, and capture them in a moment of desperation. But this is a school for those who hunt monsters. There is no place for fear here. There is no naivety in the hearts of the students that attend Beacon."

Velvet snaps another photo. "That's why you're special, Weiss," Velvet says, her voice seemingly saccharine, caring, "Your innocence. It's just so _...photogenic."_

Weiss softly screams into her gag. Inwardly, she's proud that her smiles are so convincing. Or maybe that's just the narrative of this scene? 

"The purity of the Schnee Heiress, what a prize-" Vevlet breaths, "What a prize indeed. I wonder what your family would think if they saw you now? What's become of their innocent little baby."

Weiss freezes. She makes herself tear up (theater skills).

Velvet straightens up again and looks up from her camera. "Is that okay? I forgot to ask about family stuff when we discussed what was cool. I don't want to bring up bad memories; my bad." 

Weiss shrugs.

Velvet smirks back into character. "That's my quest, you know? To capture the moment when innocence evolves into corruption..."

Weiss suppresses a chuckle. Innocence isn't lost in a moment. Weiss remembers all the little parts of her life where the light of her Aura blackened (figuratively, she meant)- when the door closed for Weiss's hope of reconciliation with her mother, when Weiss closed the door on every path her life could take except being a huntress, when Weiss realized her father was just a human, cruel and cowardly as any other, when Blake first broke her heart- 

But hey, Weiss can channel those emotions. It's method acting (theater skills). 

Weiss looks up, the tears in her eyes refreshed. Weiss's eyes are open, wide, and teary, and she stares Velvet down. Slowly, she grits her teeth, she channels her memories, and she tries to shoot the photographer a withering, murderous glare. 

The redness in Velvet's cheeks blossoms across her entire face. The older woman shudders, her nose twitches, and she gasps, sharply. There is a stream of camera clicks. Velvet moves around, frantically, taking the shot from as many angles as she can. 

"These are some _spectacular_ shots, Weiss," Velvet moans. Then her breathing calms, slightly. 

Velvet slowly walks towards where Weiss is tied up. Weiss shirks back as much as she is able.

Velvet smirks madly as she undoes Weiss's gag. Before the photographer can say anything, Weiss does.

"You're a psychopath," Weiss spits.

Velvet suppresses a moan. Then she chuckles, coldly, "You know what they say about those who hunt monsters, huh?" Velvet moves to stroke Weiss's face, but Weiss recoils. Velvet doesn't pursue. 

"So you've had your sick photo-op," Weiss says, "What's going to happen to me?" Weiss says.

"Well, I already have the shot." Velvet taps her camera.

"But perhaps I can use a model of your," Velvet runs her tongue over her lips, "Disposition, for other things." Velvet walks her fingers along Weiss's shoulders.

Weiss tries to show some fear in her eyes, as she shirks away. Apparently her acting is effective. Velvet takes one more snapshot and she moans again.

Then Velvet puts her camera down and exhales, and she snaps her fingers- which triggers the room lights to go on- and she clutches her face.  "Holy- holy Frith, Weiss. Holy- Wow. Just, Frith-."

Velvet shakily unties Weiss and leads the human to her living room couch. The upperclassmen recieved really spacious dorms, it seemed.

"Are you alright?" Velvet fumbles with her aftercare kit.

"Yeah," Weiss says. Velvet rubs some vitamin E cream on Weiss's wrists and gives the human a chocolate bar.

"Let- " Velvet breaths, "Let me just- get these developing, real quick-"

Velvet then darts into her dark room. It's a modified closet.

Weiss eats only a little bit of the chocolate. She's since outgrown the desire to eat such sweet things.

Although, Velvet was offering. So maybe...

Weiss takes a bite and examines the dorm room. It's pretty well decorated; there's some trophies of different missions, there's a shrine that presumably is part of Yatsuhashi's part of the room, there's a few external closets in what's presumably Coco's part of the room.

And, Weiss notes, the soundproofing in the dorm walls here isn't exactly perfect. She ignores the sounds of Velvet's ... photography development.

Velvet returns a little later, a little more composed, a little more smelling like chemicals, and a little sweatier. She sits down on the couch next to Weiss, withing touching distance, but Velvet opts to lean back and throw her arm on the back of the seat, behind Weiss.

“And again," Velvet pontificates, "There will never be any digital copies of those pictures, and I keep them locked in the most secure place I own. I'll burn them after a week, just in case. I know the Schnee Heiress probably doesn't want any incriminating photos of her out there."

"Oh," Weiss says. She probably should care about the blackmail potential, but she finds she doesn't. She thanks Velvet for her discretion, anyway.

 Velvet smirks again. "But thank you, again. Those were some," Velvet blushes slightly and subconsciously licks her lips. "Some great shots there. So I want to return the favor. I'm open to most things- body fluids are a little iffy for me, but I'm down for any sort of role-play, I'm reasonably good at not leaving marks during impact-play, and I promise I won't judge, whatever fetish you have. I'm in no position to kinkshame."

Weiss ponders for a moment. "That's okay. I'm just glad I got to help you out."

"Did-" Velvet backs off. "Did that freak you out? Ruin your appetite for things? I can take a rain check, once the mental scars fade."

Weiss blinks. "Oh. No. I mean, it wasn't that weird, really, and it didn't put me off or anything." 

Velvet frowns, facetiously. "You're going to hurt a poor rabbit's feelings, telling her she's 'not that weird', like that. But I supposed I'm glad I didn't ruin the image of the suave, cool upperclasswoman you had in your mind when you first saw me."

Weiss chuckles. Velvet smiles.

"But seriously. You don't have any weird, sick fantasy you'd like to indulge? Not even your racial fetish?" 

Weiss blushes. "First of all, I'm not going to confirm or deny anything about my faunus ear fetish-" Weiss waves her hand. She finds she's actually fine just sitting there on the couch, trying not to think about Blake. "I mean, I don't mean to offend you or anything, but I really mean that I'm just happy that I was a good model for you."

"I mean, okay, if you're sure." Velvet shifts her position, on the couch, so she can lie back a bit more. She does so. "If you wanna rock your martyr complex, hey, I'm in no position to kinkshame. But I gotta repay the favor. If something comes up, let me know." 

"Okay," Weiss says. She eats some more chocolate. Velvet pulls out her scroll and taps at it, but keeps looking over to Weiss, occasionally, expectantly.

Weiss clears her throat. "So do you do this a lot?"

Velvet sits up and puts her scroll away. "Sometimes. Yatsuroo- Yatsuhashi, I mean- was always very nice to indulge me. Coco's sat in that chair too- this is actually her studio, and she does her own modeling here. Some of it's not even porn. We've actually played a different sort of photography game here, too- stripteases and stuff, lecherous photographer roleplay..." Velvet trails off. 

Weiss takes another bite of chocolate.

"Fox is blind, though, so it's sort of like," Velvet scrunches her mouth and shrugs, "I think he didn't really understand the fetish? He seemed sort of bemused the whole time."

Weiss laughs, just a bit, and then she feels bad about it. Velvet laughs too.

"So you're fine with doing this with anyone?"

Velvet looks at the wall. "I mean, I wasn't lying when I said you were a great model. Most of my team can't get the innocent look down, and the other freshmen who modeled for me managed to outcreep _me._ So again, thank you. I'm going to hope that it's just because you're a good actress, and if its not, well, Prof. Goodwich holds counseling hours most weekdays, if you've got something you need to work out."

Weiss is flattered, a little. But then she realizes something.

"Wait," Weiss says, "Did- did you do this with Ruby Rose?"

Velvet blinks. "Oh, yeah. Ruby and I did a little jam session the last time Yatsuroo and I were on a break. She's into some wieeeerdd shizz though. I mean, I'm in no position to kinkshame, but sweet Frith." Velver blinks into the distance, a little lost. Then she comes to. "My weapon's pretty intricate, so I spend a fair amount of time in the forge. That's where I met Ruby. She likes to sharpen her scythe there. One day, she made a BDSM joke, and, well, we talked about our fetishes, and the rest is history." 

Weiss scrunches her mouth. It's nice to know she's superior to Ruby in another way, but she can't exactly brag to her teammate about how she's better at pretending to be a serial killer victim.

Weiss remembers what her train of thought was. "I was getting at with my first question- you don't feel the need to only be intimate with someone you care for?"

"I mean," Velvet says, "I'd like to see a world where just acting out your kinks is a normal version of fun. You can, say, go bowling or go weapon crafting with someone without having to be in love with them. And, like, if you like someone, you'll want to share the things you like with them, but I don't think you need to _only_ do a specific activity with them."

Velvet turns to Weiss. "I mean, aren't you and Yang an item? I thought you were of the same mind; you came here with her blessing- I saw her wink at you when we left the cafeteria."

Weiss scrunches her mouth. "We're buds, but we're not, like, romantically or sexually involved. She wanted me to try to date someone, because she can't fulfill that need for me, and I didn't want to pressure her to do something she didn't want."

Velvet nods in comprehension. "Okay, cool." Velvet thinks for a moment more. "Anyway, I think I'm getting that you'd like to have a more emotional connection with someone before you're sexually intimate with them.

Weiss blinks a couple times. "I hadn't thought of it like that, but that sounds right, actually."

"Okay, cool. We can talk a bit, then," Velvet says. "You want to talk about your feelings for Blake?"

"I-" Weiss frowns. "I was sort of hoping to come here to forget them, actually."

"Oh. Sorry-"

"It's okay. I meant-" Weiss rubs her head. "if I could start feeling this longing for someone else, instead, that'd resolve this whole thing. I'm afraid it didn't happen when I was tied to that chair."

"Well, I should warn you, I'm not really the dating type. Feel free to stop by sometimes if you're feeling a little, ah, _photogenic_ , but I can't really offer any kind of commitment."

"Not to anyone? What about your teammate?"

"Oh, Yatsuroo?" Velvet lays back on the couch and holds her palm toward the ceiling. "I don't' even know what that's even about. I mean, like, part of the time, I just want to be a normal couple with him. Start being slightly more monogamous, going on dates, you know. Traditional romance stuff." 

"And sometimes it's just sort of a dull ache, like I've felt for old lovers or for missed opportunities; nothing major- I don't even know if that's a romantic longing; maybe I just miss being friends. Sometimes I don't feel anything at all, and I'm cool with being broken up with."

"And sometimes," Velvet grits her teeth and grabs the air in front of her, "I just want to beat his stupid, pious face in to the ground-" 

Velvet turns to Weiss. "Sorry, I'm here talking about my issues. What can I do for you?" 

"I- It's cool. I think it helps put mine into perspective."

Velvet sits back up. "I mean, I guess I could talk to you about this some more. But maybe you'd be better off seeing a professional counselor. I hear Goodwitch's pretty good, but I also hear she'll steal your teeth if she gets the chance. So 'buyer beware', right?" Velvet made spooky motions with her hands.

"Heheh," Weiss says. She remembers where those rumors come from, "But that's a good idea. Thanks."

Velvet smiles and taps her camera. "No, thank _you,_ Miss Schnee. Seriously, I owe you one. Don't let me go around with that favor unfulfilled."

Before Weiss can say anything, Velvet's eyes widen and she waves the air, frantically. "I mean- I didn't mean that to sound like I'm pressuring you into sex or anything. But like, if you ever need to dispose a body or something, give me a call."

Weiss laughs, a little. "Oh, thanks, but I've got that covered, actually."

Velvet sweats. "I mean, because rabbits dig holes. That's why I know that."

Weiss tries to smile a reassuring smile. "Yeah, got it."

 

 

 ------------------- PRESENT DAY ------------------------

 

 

_Snuggly Cuddly Blakey~ so cute and snug-gle-y~ Blakey is a Blakey and this Blakey is for me~,_

Weiss drifted out of her dream into wakedness. She rubbed her face in Blake's hair and mumbled and then-

Weiss realized that the thing in her arms was colder and less fluffy than Blake-

Because it wasn't Blake. It was one of those creepy life sized dolls that her family was supposed to use to fake their own deaths if they needed to. Ugh.

Weiss hugged it one more time, before she decided she needed the real thing. Blake was just so warm and fluffy and cute and nice, and this thing was a poor substitute-

"Blake?" Weiss called out, "Blake where'd you go-

Weiss looked all over the bed. She looked in the bathroom, and under the tables, and in all the flowerpots. Blake wasn't anywhere there.

But then Weiss realized that there was only one place Blake could be. Well, one place besides the bathroom, but she'd already checked there. So she fixed her medical eyepatch real quick before heading out.

 

 

Weiss threw open the doors to the guest room.

Winter kept her blinds closed, so her room was dark- dark like her stupid soul.

And, of course, Blake was there, looking really sad,

"Hey," stupid Winter said, stupidly.

"Give me Blake!" Weiss challenged, heroically.

Winter smiled evilly, flashing her gross teeth. "Oh, no; didn't you know? Blake likes _me_ now."

Winter turned back to Blake, and Weiss felt her blood pressure rise. She balled her fists.

Winter made shooing gestures. "So go do your thing. I don't care."

Weiss reached out, her arms trembling- "But- Blakey~" 

Blake looked at Weiss, and she cried, "Please, leave us, Weiss. I am bound against my will, and I can do naught against the grip of Winter."

Well, okay, maybe Blake actually only said the first part, without the 'us', and she didn't cry.

But Weiss knew what Blake meant; she saw it- the tremble in Blake's lip, the hesitance in her voice, the way she glanced at the floor before she blinked- Blake didn't want to be here. Blake was suffering

But- what could Weiss do against her sister?

Winter got up and physically pushed Weiss out of the room. Weiss heard the click that meant the door was locked- that her heart was locked away as well.

Weiss walked away from the guest room, slowly. All her sadness made her feet hard to move.

At some point, someone had to bother her. "Well, you're not just going to leave it like that, are you?" said someone.

Weiss immediately flinched. She instinctively reached for Blake, to hide behind, but she couldn't do that right now-

Those four scary weekend maids were here to tease her again. There was the creepy one, who had just spoken, and the gross one, and the rude one, and the one with the inconsistent accent. It was the weekend again, and they probably used up their vacation days to avoid Winter last week.

Weiss took a breath and stood up tall; Blake would want her to be strong.

"What?" Weiss said. She looked the maid in the eyes, but Weiss had to take another breath afterwards.

"Yer jus' gonna give up?" said the maid with the inconsistent accent. 

The gross maid examined the label on some cleaning fluid. "You're not worried Winter's going to eat your prize first? You've been fattening Blake up for so long."

Weiss suddenly grabbed her face. "You- you don't think Winter's actually going to eat Blake? I thought Winter was just exaggerating."

The other maids shared worried, ponderous glances, with accompanying shrugs. It wasn't exactly reassuring.

The rude maid smirked, like she knew something Weiss didn't. "We've heard some things about your sister's, heh, _appetite-_ oof!"

The creepy maid kneed the rude maid in the gut, and then turned to Weiss. "So what are you going to do, for your princess?"

 

 

 

 

\-------------------- A POSSIBLE FUTURE ------------------------

 

 

The door is locked, but there's a 'In session' sign on the door, so it makes sense that it'd be locked.

Weiss waits. She sits down in the hallway, wondering if she should reconsider.

Eventually, the door opens-

And Ruby exits, holding her scythe and rubbing the back of her head with the other hand. She's smiling, stupidly.

Ruby blinks, at Weiss, and then smiles.  "A fairer person lost not Heav'n; she seemd For dignity compos'd and high exploit: " 

"Ruby," Weiss manages to keep most of the distaste out of her voice. "it's good to see you too."

Ruby waves Weiss farewell, and she skips down the halls. After the last of her mad ramblings fade from earshot, Weiss walks up to the office door.

The door is open, so Weiss knocks on the door and sticks her head in. "Um, hello?"

Professor Goodwitch is sitting at her desk, cleaning her glasses.  "Oh, hello Weiss. How are your teeth?"

Weiss nods. "Pretty good." That's not a lie. Weiss scrunches her mouth to the side, because this is the last chance to reconsidering telling an adult about her problems.

Weiss decides to be strong. "I was wondering, if you're doing sessions, now? I have, uh, something I need to work out."

Goodwitch blinks, looking up from her desk, and her glasses. "Oh. Oh, yes, of course."

"If you're not busy," Weiss says.

"No, no, I love doing this. It's fine."

Goodwitch waves her riding crop wand and the door magically closes. She blasts the door with a translucent missile, and a rune of silence appears on the door.

"The door's soundproof, and I'll keep completely tight-lipped about it, so anything you say or do here will remain completely confidential. Don't worry." 

The teacher then flicks her wand, and her glasses come flying off her desk into her hand. She catches them and, in the same motion, places them on her face. It's really cool.

"I'm capable of not leaving marks, and I also have a closet full of costumes, if anything strikes your fancy. I try to accommodate my client's various, ah, proclivities.."

Weiss tilts her head. "Costumes for counseling sessions?" Weiss asks.

"For- OH! Oh, you- you meant counseling sessions- Ok, yeah. Ok." The teacher stifles a blush and fidgets, slightly. "Yeah, that's what I'm doing. Yes. The costumes are for, like, phobia treatment. Yes."

After a few more coughs, Professor Goodwitch summons a pen and pad and sits on her desk. She adjusts her glasses one more time. "So what brings you here for counseling?"

Weiss figures she'd best be honest. Teachers were confidential. "I'm in love with my best friend."

Goodwitch nods. "So, the goal of therapy is to get you to a place where you are comfortable. So, in regards to your feelings towards Blake, it could mean that you could move on entirely, or it it could mean that you acknowledge that she'll always be in your heart, but you get to a point where it doesn't negatively affect your life, or it could mean finding other parts of your life you care about that they can compensate for your unrequited love. Other avenues would require bringing Blake in here, for a session or two."

"I- we're on speaking terms, but only for things that aren't, you know," Weiss pontificates, "About 'us'."

Goodwitch shoots Weiss a sympathetic frown. "Then maybe you'll need to bring her in for a talk or two, unless you want to move on entirely."

Weiss nods. "Honestly, I have a hard time seeing how I'm going to move on entirely, but I'd like to work on- on my own feelings, as much as possible. "

"So do you want to analyze your feelings to see if that's true?"

They talk a bit more. They conclude that Weiss would have a hard time moving on entirely.

"Well," Weiss says, at some point, "I think a big part of the problem is, I've recently become aware that some of my feelings towards Blake may have come from a sort of destructive place."

Goodwtich scrunches her mouth. "Well, the first step to fixing that is recognizing it, so good start so far."

They talk a bit more. Weiss somewhat forgives herself for how she's treated Blake.

"Something that might help," Goodwitch says, "Is telling yourself that your own feelings are enough, without Blake's reciprocation. It might prevent you from trying to act on them in ways that would negatively affect your relationship with her." 

Weiss nods. They talk a bit more.

At the end of the hour, Weiss has a few small, tangible steps that she actually believes might help her feelings. 

And, as Weiss packs her things and prepares to leave, Goodwitch procures a small rectangle of paper. An envelop. "And, since I'm also in charge of the mail, here- you have a letter. I'm going to make delivery rounds right now." She pats a bag full of letters.

 

After Weiss is alone, she opens her letter.

 

_\--Dear Weiss,_

_\--I'm sorry to hear about you and Blake. I know how much you care for her, and I know it must be hard. I offer my sympathy, except, in a way that doesn't sound fake like 'I offer my sympathy."_

_\--I'm reminded of a few quotes of encouragement. An old general once said, "If you're going through Hell, keep going." This suggests that effort on your part will help the situation. You are the strongest person I know, Weiss, and I have full confidence that you can find a way to overcome. Not to invalidate Blake's part in this affair, or to suggest that you're wrong to grieve in lieu of 'action', but I just wanted to wish you well in moving on. If that's helpful._

_\-- Our ships navigator likes to say, "no matter how dark it is, Remnant keeps on turning, towards the sun." This implies that things will get better on thier own, and I don't mean to imply that there's nothing you can do, or that there's nothing you should do, in your situation. It also implies that good events and bad events are cyclical in nature, so perhaps its not as comforting as I thought it was._

_\-- Sorry if that's all a little impersonal; I don't know what to say here except, I still care for you, and I'm sorry about Blake. Sorry if that makes this about me._

_\-- A bond like the one you had with Blake doesn't disappear, just like that. It may weaken, it might look different, it might only exist at a deeper level, but I know that, even during the parts of my life when I thought I hated you, I still would have had your back if it came to it. We were still connected, regardless of my feelings. So I think Blake still cares for you, on some level, even if it might hurt for her to be with you, on a number of levels._

_\-- You suggested that you'd like to hear about my life, in general, and specifically and recently, to distract you, so I will continue to do so._

_\-- We arrived in Vacuo this week. It's warm, and we've got different camouflage. I'm afraid I haven't been here long enough to have any souvenirs to send, but look for one in the next letter.  
_

_\-- I did end up talking to that cute bartender back at base. It was a complete disaster. At first, they waved at me, and I waved back. Then it turned out they were waving to someone behind me, so I pretended I was dancing. Then I realized I couldn't dance, so I pretended that I was having a stroke. My squadmates helped maintain the illusion._

_\-- Afterwards, the bartender came by to check my vitals, and I managed to convince them I was fine. I ended up talking about my military career, and my squad, and since they recognized me for a Schnee, I talked a bit about my family. You were the most positive thing in regards to that which I could think of, so I hope you don't mind that I told some random stranger a few stories about you._

_\-- Anyway, hang in there._

_\-- Love,_

_\-- Winter_

 

Weiss smiles. She clutches the "Thank you, Winter. That's just what I needed."

 

 

 

 

 ------------------- PRESENT DAY ------------------------

 

 "WIIINNTTERR!" Blake heard Weiss yell. "YOU HAVE SOMETHING I NEED!"

Because, suddenly, the window exploded. Weiss came crashing through the architecture. 

Blake had managed to retreat into her psyche. She was happy she was still able to do that trick. It seemed like something a super cool ninja would be able to do. The downside, was, it took Blake a moment to react to Weiss's entrance.

Winter had been in the middle of putting different hats on Blake, so Blake also got to practice not making eye contact some more. Sister Schnee looked up, not shielding herself quite in time, and definitely not being prepared for Weiss to kick her with both feet,

Winter went rolling back. The stocky maid jumped down the hole in the wall, after Weiss, and quietly walked to the door. After the door became unlocked, the tall maid and the young maid walked in, carrying a replacement window, with the gaunt maid carrying the carpentry tools. They started sweeping the broken glass and stone and they placed a ladder below the hole in the wall.

Blake blinked.

"Blaaake!" Weiss ran up to Blake and pulled Blake's hat off of her, throwing it to the ground. "Blake are you okay?"

Blake cleared her throat.  _**"weiss, you idiot,"**_ Blake managed to say, " _ **i was doing this to protect you. to keep winter away."**_

Weiss rubbed her cheek no Blake's head. "Oh Blake, you silly kitty,"

Weiss released the hug, and looked Blake in the eyes. "How could I be at peace knowing that Winter had you in her clutches?" 

_**"it actually wasn't that bad-"** _

"And how could I truly be happy without you by my side?" Weiss smiled, and the corners of her eyes teared up. Blake felt a lump in her throat.

Weiss pulled Blake's head in for a hug. "I love you, Blakey."

Blake tried not to cry. She returned the hug. 

Weiss held her for a while, before Winter picked herself up, like a marionette. She was cackling madly.

"Ahahahahaha," cackled Winter, madly. She turned to Weiss. Weiss instinctively, protectively stepped in front of Blake.

"You drew your sword," Winter said. She fumbled through her pockets. "You attacked me. in front of a witness," Winter pointed to Blake. 

The maids paused repairing the window.

Weiss stepped back, one step. Winter pulled out a document, faded and folded with age.

"I challenge you," Winter said,  for the position of Heiress to the Schnee Family Name."

 

 

 

 

Weiss winked. She titled her head. "What?"

Winter deflated, somewhat. "You don't know how nobility works?" She frowned. "Figures." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A POSSIBLE OMAKE:

 

 

 

They're in a quite clearing, full of trees and nature and devoid of, say, beds and non-canned food. Blake was against this, just for the record.

"Yay!" Weiss says. She picks up some dirt and tosses it in the air. "Let's play, Blakey!"

Blake flinches, stepping away from Weiss _**"what? no-"**_  

"Oh no, Blakey," Weiss says. She clutches her face, getting dirt on her cheeks, "Are you afraid of dirt? I thought you didn't like baths, which would imply you find dirt acceptable."

 _ **"i hate baths,"**_ Blake says, _**"but if i get dirty i'll have to get clean, so i'd rather not."**_

"But Blakey," Weiss says, "There's no baths anywhere around here. And we'll need a bath anyway, once we get back. So let's play, Blakey! In the dirt!"

Blake still decides she'd rather not get dirt smeared all over her, so she runs away. Weiss followed with a handful of dirt, laughing all the while. Weiss chases Blake around the tent-in-progress, twice. None of the maids say anything.

However, Weiss skids to a stop and starts running around the tent emplacement the opposite way, so that she runs into Blake. "Gotcha, kitty!"

Blake blinks and flattens her mouth, as Weiss wraps her dirt-covered arms around her waist and drags Blake down onto the ground. Blake gets some dirt in her hair when Weiss rubs her cheek against her head.

Later on, the maids stop by where Blake and Weiss were rolling around on the ground.

"He~ey," says the tall maid. "We're just going to borrow Blake for a moment."

Weiss clutches Blake. "W-what? Why?"

The gaunt maid grabs one of Blake's arms. "There's a spider behind the water pump that we're too lazy to kill. So we're going to have Blake kill it." 

"Yesser; Cat's kill spiders, m'right?" The young maid grabbed the other one of Blake's arms.

"I think they eat them, too," says the guant one. 

Blake stick her tongue out.

But they eventually pull Blake out of Weiss's grip, and Weiss wishes Blake the best. Blake wonderes why; it was just an itty bitty spider, after all. There weren't that many spiders around the mansion, but Blake's killed a few in the garden, before.

The maids stop behind a tree.

"Here's some bug repellent." The stocky maid tucks a bottle into Blake's pouch.

"And some armor." The tall maid puts some chain-mail over Blake's head.

"'s right dangerous ta go alone; take this." The young maid puts a sword in Blake's hand.

"And a few explosives." The gaunt maid slings a bandolier around Blake's shoulder. 

And the maids shove Blake out from behind the tree, to the clearing which contains the water spigot.

A three meter tall Itty Bitty Spider type grimm turns to Blake, clacking its mandibles at the faunus. It's skull-masked head glows red.

Blake's mouth flattens. She turns to the tree the maids are hiding behind.

The tall maid gives Blake a thumbs up. The stocky maid and the gaunt maid make 'Ok' signs with their hands. The Young maid points and smirks towards Blake, mouthing 'you got this'.

Blake sighs, and kills the spider.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope some of Winter's character and motivation bled through these five chapters. If not, it'll all be revealed next chapter, hopefully. I'll give a hint though; Winter doesn't actually want to be the Schnee heiress. She wouldn't mind it, but there's an ulterior motive there.


	30. Two Weeks of Winter, Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weiss has a belated heart-to-heart with someone who, for better or worse, will be a part of her life for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guarantee no expertise in codes of nobility, sibling rivalry, love, communist pedagogy, or (in Ruby's case) how to write natural dialogue. 
> 
> So this chapter is a multiple of 10, which means it's gotta be slightly more dramatic than usual. This fic has slowly been trending more and more towards the drama side of the comedy/drama spectrum this last arc, so we'll have a fluffier arc afterwards. 
> 
> Sorry for the delay on this.
> 
> EDIT: Various typo fixes, and the new character now introduces themself by name, so hopefully that shouldn't be as confusing.
> 
>  
> 
> Below is a scene I forgot to add in in the last 5 chapters. It suggests some specifics regarding this AU that I don't know if I want to be definitively canon, which is why it's a possibly-canonical Omake: 
> 
>  
> 
> POSSIBLY-CANON OMAKE: 
> 
> Weiss was crying, on the ground, clutching Blake. 
> 
> Mum Schnee scurried over and kneeled before her daughter. "Oh, Weiss, Sweetie, what's wrong?"
> 
> Weiss sniffled. "Winter- Winter said- -" 
> 
> Mum Schnee frowned. "What did she do? I'm sure we can have a little talk with her and discuss some austerity measures, if her behavior was worse than usual." 
> 
> "W-winter said," Weiss managed to say. She wiped her nose on her sleeve and hugged Blake closer. "She said that the only reason you're letting me keep Blake is because you're going to make me execute her when I come of age to teach me a lesson about ruthlessness and the folly of growing sentimental." 
> 
> "Oh, oh sweetie," Mum Schnee held her arms out, "We wouldn't do that to you. Never. (Especially after we legally took responsibility for Blake)." Mum Schnee hugged her daughter, and by extension, Blake's head. "No, you can keep your little pet for as long as you like, and when you grow tired of her, you won't need to dispose of her yourself." 
> 
> Blake blinked. 
> 
> "So I can keep Blake forever?" Weiss said. Blake blinked from under the adult's elbow. 
> 
> "Yes, sweetie." Weiss's mother patted her daughter's head, awkwardly. "We just publicly discredited a major abolitionist, setting the emancipation movement back several years, so there should be no problem with you keeping Blake for the foreseeable future." 
> 
> Weiss's face lit up. "Yay!" She said. She bounced where she sat. "Thanks mom! I love you!"
> 
> Blake scrunched her mouth.

They were in the study room where Weiss's mom seemed to always reside. 

The surprise of Winter's announcement had been numbed through the long, uneventful aftermath of Winter explaining what she was doing, and the three of them telling the nearest adult Schnee about it. 

The accountant flashed a timid glance to Winter, before addressing mum Schnee. "It's very well researched-"

"Irrelevant," mum Schnee said. "Is it valid?

"Most of the citations are from the middle ages, but yes; her claim is legitimate," said the accountant after looking over Winter's stack of papers. "There's grounds for an eligible noble becoming an heir by defeating the current heir in single combat." 

"Those are archaic rules," mum Schnee said. 

Winter frowned. "But- but they're the rules."

"We're rich, Winter. The rules do not apply to us. That is the point of being rich." 

"But-"

"You didn't really think I'd let my daughters duel each other to see which one will inherit the company. It would be very fiscally irresponsible." Mum schnee pontificated at the wall, with her right hand, "And it'd personally irresponsible, yadda yadda. The answer is no." 

"But-"

"Winter, you know full well why you're not the heiress. We have discussed this at length."

"I know, but-"

"There is already a system in place to redress whatever wrongs you have with your sister. It could be seen as admirable that you went to all this extra work to do so through the outdated codes of Nobility, but frankly, that you wasted so much time and effort reflects poorly on your decision-making skills." 

"But-

"So I trust you to remain civil," Mum Schnee looked back down to her desk to sort papers, "And I expect to hear no more of this. You are dismissed." 

"No!" Winter said. Her eyes betrayed madness. "You can't take this away from me!" 

Winter lunged at Weiss, with her sword. 

Weiss immediately threw Blake behind her, stepping forward to parry the thrust. 

The adults tried to move, but Winter threw something blue and shiny on the ground, and a wall of ice and several ice golems appeared between the children and the adults. Blake then noticed that Winter and Weiss were the only two people with weapons.

"Winter!" Mum Schnee yelled. She strained to look over the ice wall. "Desist this immediately! What is this about?"

"You know what this is about!" Winter yelled. She paused her barrage and stared her mother in the eyes, her own wet with tears. "You _always_ loved Weiss more than me" Winter threw an arm to the side, pointing at Weiss, "Always, always!"

Weiss's eye went wide. "Winter...-"

Mum Schnee looked, for a moment, at a loss for words. "Winter, that's- that's not true-" 

"I've bent over backwards doing  _everything_ you've asked of me, and it's never been enough! You never look at me like you look at her! I have to _eat someone_ in order to get the same amount of attention you give her for _brushing her teeth_."

Mum Schnee elbowed an ice golem and held up a finger, "To be fair, she's been having trouble with that, a bit."

"And she's _useless_ ," Winter pointed, "A simpering idiot! There's nothing special about her at all! How do you like her better than me?" 

Winter was crying, now, as she tried to maintaining her veneer of anger.  "Why, mom?" The hatred in Winter's voice waned. "Why was I never worthy of you?" 

Mum Schnee opened her mouth, and closed her mouth, without saying anything. 

"Winter-" Weiss began-

Bad move, it turned out, because Winter then remembered she was supposed to be dueling Weiss, and she resumed doing so.

"And you!" Winter swung wildly, and Weiss parried, but she had to take a step back from the force of the blow.

"Winter, please stop-" 

"No!" Winter yelled, "No, I refuse to let you be better than me!"

Winter swings became more wild and seemingly haphazard than Blake thought a rapier duel was supposed to be.

But Weiss held her own, even with the lack of depth perception. Then there was a thunk as Weiss landed a blow, lodging her blade into the cloth at Winter's shoulder. That meant Weiss won, right? 

Winter stepped forward. Weiss's eye widened, in terror, or perhaps bewilderment, and Winter took that opportunity to grab Weiss's sword, around the blade. Red blotches blossomed around Winter's glove. 

Weiss yelled, and Winter manged to yank the younger Schnee's weapon away. A few flecks of blood splattered off the sword as it was flung through the air. 

Blake saw the world in slow motion, as Winter raised her sword again, and Weiss fell onto her back and tried to shield herself-

Blake ran forward, even though she was unarmed. 

Winter lowered her sword before Blake got there, but it was too late for Blake to change course, so she ended up grappling Winter.

She lost the grapple three times before eventually ending up pinning Winter's arm against her torso by wrapping her arms around the teenager's waist. It might have looked like Blake was hugging her.

"No! Get off me!" Winter yelled. She struggled and elbowed Blake in the stomach. 

 Weiss ran forward, her arms outstretched. "Winter!"

Weiss hugged her sister as well, "Winter, I'm sorry. Please don't be this way." 

Winter squirmed, but she didn't try to throw Weiss off of her. 

And by this point, mum Schnee had broken through Winter's ice wall. After some brief hesitation, She awkwardly wrapped her arms around Winter, as well.

"Winter, I love you," mum Schnee said. It sounded just a little forced, like her smile.

"No-you'd don't- you can't just say you love me and pretend your last decade of- of everything didn't happen-" 

"Winter," mum Schnee said. She put her hands on Winter's shoulders, turning the teenager towards her. "I- I am sorry. And I do love you. It's my fault if you didn't know that."

Mum schnee pulled her elder daughter into her arms. "Mom- you- you can't, just-"

"I love you too, sis," Weiss adds. She rejoined the hug. Blake shrugged, and figured she should dogpile on. (The accountant opted not to join the hug, and simply left to get pa Schnee.)

Winter stopped managing words, and she let out a long sob. And another, and another, each a little softer than before, until it seemed like she calmed down. 

"I fucking hate all of you."

 

 

 

 

\-------------------- A POSSIBLE FUTURE ------------------------

 

 

 

"YOU!" Nora says. She sits down across from Weiss at the lunch table. "Are very slothful."

Weiss blinks. She finishes chewing her food. "What?"

"You are in love with your best friend, but you think your doomed affection noble, or your struggle a symbol of martyrdom, thus you take no steps to alleviate your heartache."

"What? No! I hate feeling like this!" 

"Do you?"

"Of course I do!"

"DO YOU?!" Nora leans in a little too close. Weiss ignores the personal space intrusion.

Weiss bites her lip. "I'm trying to get over it. Yang's helping me out, and I'm seeing professional help." Weiss takes a breath and looks Nora in the eyes. "I'm doing stuff for it." 

"Slothfullness is not the lack of motion. It is deliberately not seeking accomplishment. In fact, it is quite easy to convince yourself of your diligence, if you're spinning your wheels," Nora puts her arms out and twirls. "But digging and filling in the same ditch does not accomplish anything. THAT is SLOTHFULNESS!" 

Weiss had stopped flinching at Nora's explosive outbursts a while ago, so she doesn't this time. 

Nora pontificates. "It is like how Ruby studies; she reads, she highlights, she begs the teacher to explain what she missed," Nora pantomimes that last motion. It involves some sort of prayer. "But she doesn't want to put into effort into actually learning the material; That's why she's always in detention, and that's why she's always behind in class."

"AND-" Nora sits down in front of Weiss, her arms folding under her chin in what is probably supposed to look like a comfortable position, "It is what you are doing with your feelings towards Blake. 

Weiss looks to the side. Maybe that's true....

"Unless you confront the source of your issues, you will forever have that unshakable sense of disquiet." 

Nora dances some sort of boogie. 

Weiss breaths. "I already talked with Blake. We're on good terms."

"No, not that one." Nora looks serious. "You know who I mean."

Weiss does. She sighs. 

 

 

 

 

 

Weiss takes a breath and accepts a pat on the back from Yang. "It'll be fine," Yang says, "I mean, I've been feeling more distant with her lately, but she's a good person, probably."

Weiss nods. She stakes out their dorm room and waits. She and Yang play cards and talk, while they wait. 

 

 

Eventually, Blake shows up, escorting their, ugh, fearless leader. Ruby is pretending to use her scythe as a walking stick, and Blake is saying something, as they approach. 

"It's just, cookie, this is the third time your detention has derailed our plans," Blake says, her tone exasperated. She rubs Ruby's head anyway, though. "If you're having trouble you can always count on m-" 

Ruby looks a little guilty once she comes into view, but she tries to look nonchalant once she sees Weiss and Yang there. Ruby flashes a smile with her candy-coated tombstone teeth and eyes like a distant silver abyss, and Weiss chuckles nervously. 

"Oh hey, Blake, Ruby," Weiss says, leaning back, against the wall. Totally nonchalant, see?

Blake forces a smile too. It's better than Ruby's. "Did you want something?"

"Yeah, actually," Weiss rubs the back of her head, "I was wondering if Ruby was free, this afternoon, to, like, hang out or something?"

Blake blinks. Ruby chortles. 

"I mean," Weiss says. She looks at Ruby, though she's talking to both of them, "We're partners, and we haven't bonded or anything, yet." 

"You mean like, you want to do a team-building exercise?" Blake says.

Weiss hums for a moment and says, "Yeah, exactly." 

And Yang slides next to Blake. "That sounds great! Blake, we should do that too- have you ever tried bowling?" 

"Well, one time a, uh, a friend of mine had some people line up in a triangle and the, um, the friend threw giant balls at the maid- the people...." 

Weiss scrunches her mouth to the side. She remembers that, with embarrassment. 

"Oh, that sounds interesting," Yang says, "But Beacon students get discounts on bowling on weekdays at this one place I know...." 

Yang's voice fades out of earshot, and the door to the dorm room closes.

And Weiss is alone with some sort of supersonic rose-flurried goth cookie reaper. Weiss manages a smile.

Ruby smiles her empty smile. She lays her scythe in her lap and procures a whetstone from somewhere. She also procures some licorice from somewhere, and offers some to Weiss. Weiss refuses.

Weiss clears her throat. She forgets all the openers she'd tried to practice with. "Well, I thought we should get to know each other, you know?" 

Ruby starts to sharpen her scything again. _tnk._ "I have receav'd, to answer thy desire, of knowledge within bounds.

"Cool. So, you want to do something?"  

 _tnk. Shing!_ "I bring them to receave From thee thir Names, and pay thee fealtie with low subjection-"  _shing!_

"Well. Um. I have a chessboard- do you know how to play? 

Ruby nods. She puts her scythe against the wall with an necessary flourish, and she pulls a table and two chairs out. "All now was turn'd to jollitie and game, To luxurie and riot, feast and dance-" Ruby pulls out a packet of cookies, and offers them to Weiss. 

"Oh, no thanks, I'm not really into cookies," Weiss says. She starts setting up the chess-set. 

Ruby frowns at that, but then she shrugs.  "Shun to taste, And shun the bitter consequence: for know, the day thou eat'st thereof, my sole command transgrest, inevitably thou shalt die-" Ruby popped a cookie into her maw. 

"Well, at least you know they're unhealthy," Weiss says. She give Ruby the white pieces, and Ruby begins with moving a knight. She eats more cookies, but doesn't offer more conversation. Weiss can't think of anything to say either. 

After half the match passes (Weiss deliberately plays sub-optimally, to drag the game out a little longer and to spare her combat partner's feelings. 

"So, um," Weiss ventures, "Did you ever find your lost pair of dice?" 

Ruby got a distant look in her eyes, and she pantomimed a panorama with her left arm.  "The sport of Winds: all these upwhirld aloft Fly o're the backside of the World farr off Into a Limbo large and broad, since calld The Paradise of Fools, to few unknown-" 

Weiss opens her mouth, and closes her mouth. "Oh-kaaayyyy...."  

 

 

 

So, it doesn't start out well. Weiss tries to talk about Hunting, but Weiss was a duelist with a focus on team support, while Ruby's fighting style was more 'murder ball berserker'. Weiss enjoyed more mature, adult things while Ruby enjoyed the opposite. And Ruby talked with her mouth full- gross. 

But at some point, Weiss mentions that her mom is dead, and Ruby latches on to that. She delves into her past and her feelings and her insecurities and her self-perception, and of failure and success. They abandon their chess games to lie on the floor and muse, forlornly, about life and Dust and death and feeling failure (Weiss resolved to admonish Nora for implying that that was something they could bond over- but it was almost a complete non-starter), and food and the performative aspects of intelligence, not making eye contact the whole time. (which, Weiss supposed, allows them to speak more candidly- Ruby seemed to have trouble with eye contact, and honestly, Weiss had learned at an early age to just stare at people's eyebrows when she spoke to them (bar one fluffy exception, of course)). But Ruby did have a lot to say about mothers and motherhood in general.

There's a pause in their conversation on the ground, and Ruby puts her hand up against the ceiling.  "Mother is our first love affair. Her arms. Her eyes. Her breast. Her body. If we hate her later, we take that rage with us. And if we lose her, where do we find her again?" Ruby retracts her arm. "Why is the measure of love loss?"

Weiss blinks. "Um." 

Ruby makes a smile and turns to Weiss- that doesn't quite reach her eyes, and maybe it's that Ruby's smiles never reached her eyes, but Weiss just never made enough eye contact to notice- but then Ruby waves the air.  "In loving thou dost well, in passion not, wherein true Love consists not; love refines the thoughts, and heart enlarges, hath his seat in Reason, and is judicious, is the scale-" 

And they talk about love, for a while. Turned out, Ruby was quite the romantic. (And, honestly, Weiss was a bit of one as well.)

"So," Weiss said. Now she had made the emotional connection, she could satisfy her curiosity, right? "How are you and Blake? 

Ruby shrugs. "The thoughts, and heart enlarges, hath his seat in Reason, and is judicious, is the scale by which to heav'nly Love thou maist ascend, not sunk in carnal pleasure, for which cause Among the Beasts no Mate for thee was found-" 

"Ok, ok, that's cool," Weiss interjects. She promptly changes the subject, and it's with some relief natural. 

And by the time Yang and Blake return from bowling, Weiss feels like she's not mad at Ruby anymore, and she's more convinced that Blake is happy. 

 

 

 

 

"So," Yang says, at the back of the group, with her hands behind her head. "I noticed at the place we went to, there was this karaoke place, right? So we should go there sometime. It'll be fun!" 

Ruby sings- or chortles, depending on what your standards for singing are, as they walk into the hallway. 

And Weiss tells Yang that that sounds good. She tries not to notice Blake's lack of eye contact, and figety looks of begrudging approval. 

"So, you and Ruby are friends again?" Blake says. 

Again? "Well, sure," Weiss says. She shrugs, "We have a lot in common, actually." 

Blake smiles and rubs the back of her head. "Okay, cool. That's good."

Weiss smiles. "She's really bad at chess, though." 

"Heh heh, I'll have to remember that. Maybe I can make a bet over a chess game...." 

Ruby's walking ahead, chanting something about demons, and she turns a corner, and immediately fall on her back. 

Weiss rushes forward, but Ruby's already being bodily helped to her feet by someone."

"Watch where you're going, little dood," says a woman. An adult woman, with flowing black tresses and eyes like an amber forest-fire, wearing her school uniform a lot better than any of the teenagers did. She's patting Ruby's shoulders down, and Ruby's looking embarrassed. "Therein enjoy'd were worthy to subdue-"

"Aren't you, like, super old to be here?" Weiss asks. Ruby smacks her arm and chucks nervously, apologetically, at the new arrival.

"Hey, your'e never too old to start learning," says the woman. "Honestly, the idea that you're supposed to spend your teenage years learning little pieces of a broad array of knowledge, then spending four years studying a very narrow field that you've picked when you're 18 that you're gonna be doing your whole life? That's all bunk, dood. The traditional education system is outdated, and continually fails a population of students." 

Weiss smushes her mouth to the side. 

"And furthermore, education is tied to wealth in systemic and institutional levels, and wealth is stratified on racial lines, so it's just another way to keep Faunus down, dood." 

"Exactly!" Blake says, and she excitedly pumps her hands. "Intelligence is only a set of learn-able traits common to the powerful to add legitimacy to discounting those that fail the metric." 

Everyone nods at that. Weiss adds, "Morality is a lie constructed by the powerful to justify their cruelty." 

The woman smiles and emulates Blake's hand motion. "Exactly! You doods can call me Cinder." She holds her hand out to eveyone. Ruby squeaks when it's her turn.

Cinder pontificates. "Anyway, the traditional model of education is completely messed up. We're trying to, like, deposit information intuitive students heads when really the student and teacher should be working together to create knowledge. Like, teachers are always asking 'do you know the answer', when they should be asking, 'can you _find_ the answer.' Someone should really just overrun the whole system- and not just schools, mind...."

And Ruby hangs on every word, even though she can't seem to say anything and doesn't make eye contact. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 ------------------- PRESENT DAY ------------------------

 

 

 

 

 

Weiss awoke. Blakey was there, in her arms. Weiss couldn't resist a smile. Blake was so sweet and soft and fluffy.... 

_Blakey Blakey Blakey_

_Snuggly, cuddley kitty...._

And, luckily, Blakey's breathing was steady, which meant she was asleep, like a little kitty angel....

But Weiss had something to do. She adjusted her eyepatch and signaled the relevant parties. 

The creepy maid showed up with one of the dolls. Weiss gave one last gentle squeeze to her snuggly Blakey before extracting herself and replacing herself with the doll. She wouldn't want Blakey to get cold, or lonely. She should hurry back, though. 

 

 

 

 

 

Then Weiss crept away, to Winter's room. She took one last breath to steady her nerves and her resolve and possibly to savor the taste of isolation but actually, just to procrastinate a little bit more. 

But Weiss knew she had to do this. So she opened the door, quiet enough not to echo through the halls but not quietly enough that Winter wouldn't hear it. It wasn't any sort of sneak attack, so it would do to make some noise.

Winter was awake, staring out the window, open to a lonely moonlit city-scape. She didn't turn to look at Weiss when she entered. 

Weiss stepped in and closed the door. "Winter," she said. 

"Weiss," said Winter.  

There was a lot to say. There was a lot she had to say, and a lot she didn't think she could, and a lot of stuff winter probably  needed to hear....

 Weiss inhaled, and she exhaled. "You were right," Weiss said. "I'm not special." 

Winter turned her head and looked apologetic. It reached her eyes, which meant that Winter either really meant it or she had gotten better at pretending controlling her facial expressions. "I was just talking smack-"

"Doesn't mean it's not true," Weiss said.  "I don't know why I'm the heir, or why I get all the special treatment- Why I don't have to go to school except on fridays or why Mom looks the other way when I mess up and honestly I'm still surprised they let me keep Blake-" 

Weiss took a breath. She was starting to lose control of her tearducts, and this was supposed to be a Confession of Vulnerability to Engender Trust, not an unforced display of weakness. "I'm sorry that mom treats me better than you, but it's never made me feel special."

Winter chortled, once, "Oh? So what are you saying, that being mom and dad's favorite isn't all that great?"

"Y-yeah. I don't think it's all that great, really." 

"It's better than being practically disowned." 

"But you're not disowned! Mommy still takes the time to send you Krampusnacht cards, every year! And when important people come by, she always talks about how proud of you she is, for serving your country. "  

Winter smiled, gently and laughed. "Yeah? She said as much- glad to know it's actually true." 

"Yeah." Weiss said.

Weiss kicked her foot a little, as the silence loomed. 

Weiss took a breath. "So your talk with mom went well?" 

Winter took her own breath, condensing a puff of fog below her chin. "It- it was okay. We talked a lot about- everything, really. Feelings and stuff. It helped. A lot. She said she'd try to write more often." 

Weiss brightened. That was good, 

"And-" Weiss bit her lip. There was a danger of divulging too much- if you tried to be more honest with someone, by revealing a past untruth, it might do the opposite of building trust, as now they have history of dishonesty.  "And I do actually know how to write, so I can do that to," Weiss braced for recrimination. 

"Yeah," Winter said. She doesn't turn her head. "I knew you weren't as dumb as you act, sis." 

Weiss froze. She sighed. "Sometimes it doesn't feel like an act." 

"Maybe it's because you keep acting dumb." Winter smirked.

Weiss appreciated that Winter feels familiar enough to tease her. "I mean- I'm actually not doing so well in school. I'm trying, but, just, you know. I think maybe I'm not cut out for the regular schooling system." 

Weiss took a breath. This time, she was being more candid, and that's a dangerous line to cross, but maybe Winter would understand? "And, being capable of seeming intelligent doesn't mean I actually am, or that I feel intelligent. Sometimes I think, pretending to be smart is just fighting my impulses. And the worst part is, everyone except me pretends to buy it, too, even when I've obviously failed." Weiss bit her lip, real quick. "And I figure, there's got to be a point where I've failed hard enough that Mom and Dad will do something about it, but it's like, they don't. Don't they care enough to want to make me better?"

Winter sighed. "That's probably my fault. Mom and dad always pushed me to be better and better, no matter how good I did. Eventually, I thought, maybe, joining the military would shape me into the person I wanted to be. I mean, there was no way i'd be better than mom and dad at business, right? So I thought I'd make a name for myself, and make a bunch of connections and the training would finally do what I was never able to." 

Winter looked out the window. "But it turns out I was ahead of the curve with my aura, and my combat skills, and my semblance was more useful than most people's. So I didn't have to try at all. And that just made me feel worse, because if I was already good, why do I always feel so inadequate?"

"And everyone avoided me because I was a Schnee. They didn't want to get on my bad side, and, honestly, I'm no good with people at all. But eventually, I finally made some companions, you know? But- I was always a little worried, like, that they didn't  _really_ like me, that they were only putting up with me." 

Weiss knew that feeling. But she frowned in concern, "So, are you still friends with them, after you ate one of them on that failed training exercise?" 

"We only ate her legs. She's got robot ones, now, and she loves them." Winter waved the air. "But the point was, I know what it's like to feel like a failure. And it sucks. I'm sorry." 

Weiss walked up and held her arms out. "I- I know you said you didn't need hugs, but...."

"It's fine," Winter said. She stood up from the windowstill and creaked her back and held her arms out. "I- um. I did kinda- Nevermind, It's fine."

And they hug. It's nice. 

"I see why you're always hugging Blake. This is ... nice.

Weiss reflexively brightened, as she did when her thoughts strayed to her kitty. "Oh! Yeah, Blakey's just the best! And she doesn't care if I'm smart or not, or if I'm strong, or how many times I mess up-" 

Winter started looking politely bored, so Weiss skipped to the end. 

"And she doesn't correct me when I'm wrong!" Weiss frowned. "Well, maybe sometimes, but she loves me for who I am, and that's- that's something I never realized was so important." 

"Because you feed her."

"Noooo~" Weiss said. "That's- that's not the only reason, right?"

"I kid," Winter chuckled. "And you shouldn't worry; she does love you. You know how I know?"

Weiss's entire being paused in anticipation. Winter continued, "Because yesterday, she offered to let me play with her on the condition that I'd leave you alone if she entertained me instead. To protect you, she said." 

Weiss's heart skiped a beat. She had always, secretly, worried about how Blake felt about her. But Blake had to love her, right? She just had to. And hearing that she did- that was wonderful. Weiss's heart went aflutter. "Oh, Blakey...." 

"I'm glad you've found someone, at least," Winter said. She stepped out of the hug and resumed lounging at the window still. "Really. I- I'm sorry I was such a jerk, these last two weeks." 

"I forgive you. And- I'll always love you, did. No matter what." 

Winter smiled, out the window. "Aww, stop that." 

And afterwards, they talked some more, about their mother, and about life and Dust and death and their favorite Corporate Mouse franchises, and food and chess. And when Weiss finally snuck back to her room (and Blake!), she's happy she has a sister.  

 

 

 

 

And Winter left the next morning, a little more wordless and a lot more subdued than Blake remembered her being, like, ever. Though Blake had only known her like two weeks. 

Winter hugged Weiss. And then she awkwardly hugged Mum Schnee, and then pa Schnee, and she held out her hand to Blake. "Take care of my sister, k, ya little monster?" 

Blake decided she should hug Winter as well, so she ignored the hand and did so. Winter tensed, but she returned the hug.

And after Blake stepped back, Winter picked Blake up. "Well, it looks like Blake likes me now, so I'm going to have to take her back with me."

"Wiiinnn~teeerrr~" Weiss whined. 

Winter looked at Blake and managed to smile. "You'll join me with the legionaires, Blake, doomed eternally to forlorn foreign shores. Doesn't that sound fun?"

Weiss ran up and tried to pry Blake away. "Noooooooo~." Weiss shook Blake. "Don't listen, Blake! That's not fun! That's not fun at all!" and then Weiss turned to her sister, "and besides, Blake's too fluffy for _that!"_

Winter laughed. Blake laughed. The adult Schnee's made some polite chuckles. Winter put Blake down and gave one last salute, before heading out. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the Winter Arc. Kind of procrastinated on finishing it up, my bad, but look for shorter, fluffier, easier-to-write chapters in the next few weeks. 
> 
> In canon, Cinder's some sort of Nietziechian revolutionary, so she's one in this fic too, only more of the 'smokes pot, wears Che Guevera t-shirts and muses about her 1.5 semesters of philosophy' kind of revolutionary. The more common one. 
> 
>  


	31. The True Meaning of Krampusnacht, pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Blake learns about the true meaning of a winter holiday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guarantee no expertise in romance, shopping malls, germanic folklore, norse folklore, Charle's Dicken's _A Christmas Carol_ or holiday spirit. 
> 
> I don't know how popular the Krampus is? It's basically evil woolly Santa clause. But I'm going to assume Jesus didn't exist in Remnant, so I made up a different holiday to take the place of Christmas. That's the premise of this arc. 
> 
> Also, full disclosure, this thing was planned for December, but the previous chapter took a while to write. But future readers would be equally out of season, so, eh.

"I just want you for my own~ More than you could ever know~" Weiss sang. 

"Make my wish come tru~ue~, Blakey all I want for Krampusnacht is you~!" Weiss hugged Blake. Blake allowed it.

"That's very nice, Weiss sweetie," said mum Schnee, "But we're at the front of the line now, so go ahead and tell the Krampus your wish." 

"Oh!” Weiss said. She turned to Blake. “Yay, Blake! Did you think of your wish yet?”

They were currently in that soulless conglomerate store, waiting in line to visit the Krampus on it's fancy throne carved from the bones of naughty children, and to and whisper their holiday wishes into it's wicked, noisome ear.

Weiss led Blake by the hand to the top of the dais, then she stopped and she frowned.

"Hey!" Weiss said to the woolly monster, on a chair decorated with plastic bones, "I thought you said you _weren't_ also the Krampus!”

The human on the fancy chair blinked a couple times. "You know I'm only a woman in a costume, right? The real Krampus lives in the heart of the world, in cage of bone, keeping the souls of naughty children prisoner."

Weiss frowned. “I was pretty sure the Krampus lives in a magic toy factory where all the souls of naughty children work of the karmic debt of their sins creating the toys the Krampus rewards good children."  

The woman in a costume pointed at Weiss. “That too." 

_**"bah."** _

“Where’s your Krampustide spirit, Blake?” Weiss said, with a smile. She rested her head on Blake's shoulder, briefly. 

_**"humbug."** _

“Blake nooooo!" Weiss clutched Blake, "If you don’t believe, then an androgynous angel of indeterminate age with a head of flame will show you spoookky visions of everything you regret in life, and a jolly giant in a crown set with icicles will show you spoookkkyy vissioonnnsss of other people who are happier than you, and a dark psychopomp with a TV for a head will show you spooooookkky visssionsss of how you're gonna die aloooonnnneeee~” Weiss waved her hands.

Blake blinked.

Weiss smushed her mouth and furrowed her brow. “And, it's probably gonna happen too, Blake, because most likely, all three of them will just be the tooth fairy in different costumes, and she's _right here,_  ” Weiss pointed at the tooth fairy in a shopping mall Krampus costume. 

Blake turned to the tooth fairy.

“I will neither confirm nor deny that,” said the tooth fairy in the Krampus costume. "And I am, indeed, right here, so you're gonna wanna make your Krampusnaught wish soon." 

 _ **“krampusnacht is merely a bitter collusion of status-conscious gift-guilting, enforced proximity to people you hate, and cold weather."**_  

“But gifts are a medium to express feelings, Blake!” Weiss said. She hugged Blake. “Through the helpful commodification of feelings by the tireless work of such noble international corporations such as Corporate Mouse or The Linkage Enabled Choking Hazard Gadget Company, what used to be complex, nuanced feelings that took artful prose and long conversations to convey now can be distilled into a single, 20-40 lien purchase, usually with tie-ins to existing brands!” Weiss said. She hugged Blake with one arm and put her head beside Blake’s. Weiss waved her arm out, painting an imaginary panorama. “Krampusnaught is a time of love, and family, and the ability to partake in the same cultural and material touchstones and thus become closer to one another, through the ritual materialism of modern, Altesian culture!”

Weiss turned to the Krampus. “Tell her, Ms Krampus! Make Blake see the true meaning of Krampusnacht, but not with the ghost costumes." 

“It’s, ah, Mz, actually,” said Mz. Krampus, “And I’m afraid neither of you had it completely right. In actuallity, during the Winter Solstice, each Hunter in a tribe would chop down a tree to be gathered in the center of the tribe to be set alight. While the bonfire burned -which was often 12 days, which is why we celebrate 12 days of Krampus- gambling would be permitted, normal social institutions would be defunct, and while the tribe slept, the Krampus would crawl out of the holes in the world to eat the sins of children while they slept- and if the child was too naughty, their entire being would be consumed by the Krampus! However, sentient beings grew too numerous for the Krampus’s appetite, and the noisome creature would hauled the leftover sin in a gundersack made from lambskin and awkward conversations, but occasionally the sins would escape, and become grim. Thus, tribes slaughtered and skinned lambs and demanded families eat the lambsmeat with estranged family members, so the Krampus could repair its gundersack.”

Weiss winked. She opened her mouth, and she closed her mouth.

“It’s a pagan holiday, Weiss,” said the woman in the costume.

“But-”

“Alas,” The woman gestured to the long line of annoyed parents behind Blake and the Schnee’s, “The other mall-goers are getting impatient, so you’re going to have to wish for something very soon.”

Weiss moved Blake towards the shopping mall Krampus. "Go on Blakey, make your Krampusnacht wish!" 

Blake breathed. **_"racial equality."_**

The shopping mall Krampus smushed her mouth. “That might be a little beyond my capacity to grant, I'm afraid."  

**_“empathy for all sentient beings."_ **

"Ah- maybe go for something in the 20-40 lien range?" 

**_“smoked salmon."_ **

"I can do that." The Krampus pulled a piece of smoked salmon out of the adjacent gundersack and presented it to Blake. 

Blake tried not to smile and she clutched the fishy to her chest. She nodded.

The shopping mall Krampus turned to Weiss. “And what would you like, Weiss?" 

Weiss hugged Blake's head. "Oh, I just want my Blakey to be happy."  

Mum Schnee smiled reluctantly. Pa Schnee smiled. 

The Krampus pulled out another piece of smoked salmon out of the adjacent gundersack. "Cool; here you go." 

"Yay! It's just what I wanted," Weiss jumped up on her toes. She held the fishy out to Blake. "Here you go, Blakey!" 

Blake blinked. Honestly, she was sure Weiss would wish for her scar to heal, finally. Or at least a more stylish eyepatch. Blake still took the fishy though, and eyed it hungrily. 

Weiss rubbed her face on Blake's head. "I love you Blakey. Mwah!" 

And then they got pushed out by an interracial couple trying to get their kid to the Krampus for a wish. 

 

 

 

 

Later on, after Blake managed to give Weiss the slip to use the bathroom, Blake bumped into something woolly and eldritch. 

“Hey, Blake,” said the woman in the Krampus costume, “How serious were you about wanting racial equality?"

Blake blinked. **_"super serious."_**

The shopping mall Krampus looked around, conspiratorially. "Are you okay with potentially doing some breaking and entering?" 

**_“oh, yeah. totally.”_ **

 "Cool. When are you and Weiss free?" 

 

 

 

 

After Blake was given a bath and had her teeth brushed and Weiss had her own shower, but after Weiss had dressed Blake. Which might have been a mistake, because they'd probably want to be wearing something other than pajama's if they were going to break into a forced labor factory that night. 

Blake bit her lip a bit. The tooth fairy had said they should be ready at 9:00, so they had a bit, but it was probably good to let Weiss know about the plan a bit earlier than that. 

_**"Weiss."** _

Weiss winked a few times. She rubbed her brow under her eyepatch, in the same motion readjusting how it lay over her face. “What is it, Blakey? Are you thirsty? Do you need to use the bathroom? Are you hungry?" 

Blake looked at the window, and then at Weiss. _**“would you like to go on an adventure?"**_

Weiss winked twice, and then her eye was wide. “Oh my dust- yes!” she hugged Blake and rubbed her head, "I'm so happy you asked me that- I know I've been the one dragging you into things, so I'm so happy you've finally asked me to go on one of  _your_ adventures! So yes," Weiss smiled and smooched Blake's nose, "Mwah! I'd love to go on an adventure with you, Blakey." 

_**“cool. just let me use the bathroom first.”** _

 

 

 


	32. The True Meaning of Krampusnaucht, pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guarentee no expertise in Fashion, the holiday season, labor laws, sweatshops, shopping, malls, and especially fashion, and for this chapter in particular, proper story composition. 
> 
> This one feels a little all over the place to me, and trying to tweak it to tie it more into the rest of the fic didn't feel like it worked, so whatevs. I even thought, if I take even longer to finish it, maybe the holiday season will come around, and the subject matter will be applicable again. Eh. 
> 
> I'm pretty sure Jaune has seven sisters? I can't actually remember where I heard that from. 
> 
> Wondering if the jokes would land better if I replaced every instance of "Krampus' with "The Santa Clause"

"Oooh, oooh!" Weiss said, right before they left the mansion. She hugged Blake. "I have just the thing for you on our adventure!" 

Weiss ran into her closet and pulled out some sort of black leather thing. It was possibly clothing. 

Blake blinked.  

"I had one of the maids buy this for when you invited me on one of your adventures!" Weiss said. She waved what turned out to be a jumpsuit. "It's been in there for a long time, actually.." 

Blake blinked. 

Weiss then started trying to undress Blake and dress her in what turned out to be a <sigh> catsuit. 

And Blake got stuck.

Weiss frowned. "Um. This was made for you a while ago, before you... grew...." 

Blake kept her mouth flat. 

"But that's ok! I'll love you no matter how much you eat, Blakey. Mwah!" Weiss smooched Blake's nose. "But let's first get this tailored so you can fit in it!" 

 

 

 

 

Weiss conscripted some of the security guards to drive a limo for them somewhere.  

Blake spent the subsequent limousine ride in thought. The revelation that Blake had, perhaps, been indulging a little too much on fishys and snacks and other food led Blake to start dreaming up an exercise regime. She did lie around on the ground a lot, so maybe she could spend less time doing that? And maybe she'd start chasing the frogs in the garden, again....

Weiss sang Blake a song that consisted mostly of the words 'Blake' and 'Blakey' during the drive. So, things as normal. 

The limo ended up in a dark section of town, where the buildings were mostly concrete, rotted plywood, hasty paintjobs and duct tape. Blake thought she might have had friends here, in a previous life. 

There was a blinking neon sign pointing. into a back alley. Without hesitating, Weiss led Blake by the hand into a sketchy, dimly lit shop. Apparently, this was a tailor's shop. A tailory?

The stench of boiled leather and blood permeated Blake's nose as the door opened with a 'ding'. The front desk was empty, and so were the dilapidated couch seats for customers to wait on. Strips of coverings were on display. 

Weiss pulled Blake onto a couch and they waited. Weiss kicked her feet and hummed. 

Then there appeared a familiar figure, only dressed in a dark smock and artisan's glasses instead of a maid uniform.

Blake blinked.  _ **"you?"**_

"Oh, miss Schnee, and Blake, of course," said the gaunt maid, with a bow, "- what a pleasant surprise to see you, on my day off. What brings you to my family's humble business?" 

Blake blinked.

Weiss smiled. "Well, I got this outfit for Blake a while back but she's outgrown it." Weiss waved the outfit around. "And we need it for an adventure tonight, so we went to someone we know, who could make it fit, real quick."

The maid walked up to Blake and pulled the Faunus into a back room. There were a lot of life sized dolls here. Mannequins? Some of them were wearing pieces of clothes. 

Weiss handed the maid the catsuit, and the gaunt tailor pulled out a flexible yardstick and started measuring both the article of clothing and Blake's torso and arm length and stuff. "So you want some alterations so Blake will fit into this?" 

"Yuppers!" Weiss said. 

Then the tailor maid lead Blake to a stainless-steel operating table. Blake's shirt was pulled up and the maid started drawing dotted lines over Blake's stomach with a charcoal pencil. "I think a simple abominoplasty should suffice. Maybe some liposuction in your upper arms and thighs. That should make this fit, for tonight, though I would recommended a followup appointment sometime in the next week to ."

Blake paled. She cleared her throat.   ** _"aren't you a tailor?"_**

"Yes, a flesh tailor," said the flesh tailor. Blake was gently pushed down on the operating table. "You come to us if your clothes or your body doesn't fit you." 

Blake blinked. She cleared her throat. " _ **could you just fix the clothes?"**_

"Sure, if you want a less permanent solution." The flesh tailor finished strapping Blake's limbs on the table. 

Blake managed not to look or sound like she was panicking. **_"we're in a hurry."_**  

The gaunt tailor pulled out a bottle of antiseptic and a set of scalpels, and a spool of thread and a wicked needle. "I'll make it fast, then. I was going to ask if there were any other parts of your body you were unsatisfied with, but perhaps we'll save that for next time...."

Blake looked to Weiss. She swallowed her pride and begged. _**"i don't want my flesh tailored."**_

"Awww," said Weiss. "Okay then, Blakey." 

The guant tailor shrugged and started undoing Blake's restraints. Blake jumped off the table "Maybe once you hit puberty, keep us in mind."  

Blake scrunched her mouth to the side. That was not something she really wanted to think about right now, or possibly ever. 

"So, I guess we need you to enlarge the catsuit then?" Weiss asked.

"Of course," said the tailor. "Though you'll also probably want to bring that in in a week, for alterations."  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once Blake squeezed into the newly enlarged catsuit and Weiss paid the tailor, they made their way to the established meeting point. 

Blake and Weiss met with their accomplice at the base of a frozen fountain on the edge of town. The part time mall Krampus was already there, leaning against a piece of masonry. She was also wearing a spy-themed costume. 

"Aww dust," Weiss lamented. She looked down to her clothes. " I had a dashing prince costume I could have worn...." 

"I don't know how appropriate that would be, for this venture," said the tooth fairy. "What we're about to do is, ah, 'questionably legal', and that's not quite the place for a prince." She then blinked, and looked Weiss and Blake in 

Weiss smiled and waved the air. "That's fine. 'Questionably legal' is part of being a Schnee!" 

Blake blinked. Weiss's statement was accurate, as far as she had figured.

 "Well, shall we get going?" said the tooth fairy. 

She waved her riding crop, and purple mist swirled into a portal 

She stuck her head in, and then back out and held a hand out to Blake and Weiss. Weiss took the hand, and with her free hand grabbed Blake's, and they walked into the portal.

 

 

Aaaaaaannnnd- 

Blake hit the ground. She opened her eyes. They were in a steppe that smelled of tumbleweeds and dust- lower case dust, mind. The tooth fairy beckoned to them, and the children followed her towards what looked like a factory. 

"We are going to a sweatshop factory in rural Vacuo, which employs mostly underclass Faunus workers. 

They entered the arrived at an industrial monstrosity in question. It was hot and it was hard to breath, the lights were simultaneously too dim and too oppressive, and there was sand everywhere. 

Hundreds of Faunus workers, (many of the nearby ones Feline-aspect, all of them frowning to some extent) were standing at tables with various machines that gnashed and screeched and hissed. It appeared to all be part of a process to  produce some sort of plastic tchotchke facsimiles of some sort of vertebrate quadruped, with branding potential. 

Weiss brought her hands to her mouth. "Oh no! Don't worry kitties, we'll save you!" 

Weiss ran to the nearest door and grabbed the lock with her hands. Blake felt the chill from where she was, aways away, and Weiss then shattered the now embrittled metal. She kicked the door open. The cool night air was especially refreshing; the factory didn't have any sort of ventilation. 

The droll of industry ceased, the machines grew silent, and the workers looked to Weiss, and the broken door.

"Be free, kitties!" Weiss said. she waved her hands in the air. 

The workers turned back to their machines, and their machines bustled back to activity. 

"It is not chains that keep the workers here," said the tooth fairy.

"But, if they can leave any time, why would they stay, if they're miserable here?" Weiss asked. 

"There's many reasons why someone would stay in a situation that demeans and dehumanizes them. For most workers here, it is because it is the only way they can manage to eat, and for many, the mere fact that they  _can_ leave convinces them to stay, and the possibility that they _could_ once day earn enough money to  start a new life encourages them to  trapped by the tyranny of hope."

Blake smushed her mouth to the side and looked at the wall.

Weiss nodded solemnly.  "So, if we can't free them, how can we help?

 The tooth fairy pulled out a camera. "Today, we're documenting the inhumane treatment of the workers in the factory in order to raise awareness of labor abuse." 

Weiss held her hand out and received her own camera. "Can do!" 

"We will attempt to reach the consumers of stores that commission clothes from this plant, which will create a financial incentive for companies to revoke approval of this factory and to not perpetuate dehumanizing labor conditions." 

Weiss nodded. "Sounds good." 

"While we're at it, we can try to convince celebrities or captains of industry to condemn the conglomerate that outsourced its labor here, which might convince the corporation in question to restructure its business practices in the face of potential harm to the brand." 

Ah. Blake saw where this was going. Weiss was going to be a captain of industry one day. Blake tugged on her human's sleeve, and pouted. Weiss smiled and hugged her head, before turning to the tooth fairy. "Yeah, okay." 

"And finally, we can talk to the local government to incentive the adoption of labor rights and the development of alternative, humane methods of earning a living

"Oooh, ooh! I'm good at talking to government officials!" Weiss said. 

Blake had reason to doubt that. 

"But, what can we do to help the kitties right now?" 

"Well, you already gave them some fresh air," said the tooth fairy, "But we should finish taking pictures before someone with the company call the cops on us."

 

 

 

\-------------------- A POSSIBLE FUTURE ------------------------

 

 

 

Weiss looks around the library lounge until she finds three/fourths of team JNPR. One of which is the person she was looking for.  

It's a Saturday, and the last bout of exams finished the previous day. Weiss doesn't have anything to do, but there's something she's been wanting to do, and that something has the opportunity to do something that she's been needing to do and has probably been a little overdue.

 

"Hey Jaune," Weiss says, "How's it going? 

Jaune blinks and looks to the wall. ""H-hey Weiss." 

"Remember when I mentioned to you that I expected we'd hang out?"

Jaune makes a smile and sinks into his shoulders, just a bit. He's still looking at the wall. "Y-yeah..." 

Weiss smushes her mouth to the side. It was an awkward moment all around, but it was probably about time they moved past that.  "And you're the only person I know who seems to be fashion conscious. Like right now- I like your ensemble today." 

"~wai~, this old thing?" Jaune says, but he brightens up regardless. He stands out of the desk and twirls around, his arms straight out, at a low angle. "

"You've really got a sense of colour, and how to dress for your body type." Weiss nods. That should cover the basic pleasantries, "So did you want to go to the mall? I've been meaning to go for a while." 

Jaune smiles "Hai! You know, none of my team is the type to go clothes shopping. Yang's already got her style, Ruby's especially got her style, and Blake, well." 

"Well, Pyrrha's mentioned she used to go to the mall to flirt with girls, but she'd since found that internet message boards are better for that." 

"Ah." Weiss stands up. "Well, if you're down, let me go change into something more mall worthy and I'll meet you here?"  

 Jaune smirks. "I was thinking the same thing! I got an outfit the last time I went to the mall that I haven't had a chance to wear yet." 

 "Wait," interjects Nora. She shifts, and by extension, Ren has to shift, because he's doing the sloth thing and hanging off of her. "You're going to change into outfits specifically so you can go to the mall?" 

"Yeah, you can pretty much wear any ridiculous thing there, so its the only opportunity I have to wear some of my outfits," Jaune says. Weiss nods. 

"And you got the outfits that you're going to wear to the mall...." Nora pontificates, "AT THE MALL." 

"Yeah." 

"Which you're going to go to in order to buy new outfits.... which you'll only wear to go to the mall." 

"I mean, there's other stuff to do, like eating at the food court or flirting with strangers," Jaune says, "But yeah. Mostly the clothes."

"It seems a little like the snake eating its own tail," Ren says. 

 Jaune's eyes go distant and he holds his arms out above him. He looks to the ceiling. "The purpose of mall clothing is the existence of mall clothing, and mall clothing begets mall clothing. With these two points, we can form a closed loop of meaning; Mall clothes exist for themselves, and it is up to embrace that, all of it; the highs and lows, the plaid waistcoats and distressed jeanshorts, the meme t-shirts and novelty headgear, the absolute zipper pants, the belted camisoles. To go to the mall is to confront the absurdity of materialistic hedonism, and embrace it." 

Nora blinks. "So it is a venue for running in place, no matter how much effort you put in...." She waves her hands like a muppet. "HOW VERY SLOTHFUL. I rescind my prior objection." She claps her hands. 

Weiss smirks at Jaune. "You've been hanging out with Ruby lately, haven't you?" 

Jaune looks exasperated. "~ura~,  _nobody's_ been hanging out with Ruby lately, except that weird communist revolutionary lady who transferred in this semester." 

Weiss makes a non-committal noise and shrugs. "Cinder's okay. Blake likes her- she talks about inequality a lot, and I guess she's lent Blake some biographies. 

"I find her observations very thought-provoking." Ren says.  

"I find her observations very provocative. HA." Nora exclaims. 

Jaune pouts, just a bit. "Its a bit of a shame, since I miss hanging out with Ruby. She gives really good advice." 

Weiss tries not to snort. "Oh, you- think so?" 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yang's in the room, reading a comic book, when Weiss gets there. Weiss says hi, and Yang responds warmly, but without looking up. Weiss jumps into the closet to change in three seconds (theatre skills). 

Though it turns out Jaune must have had similar training, because he knocked on team RWBY's door just as Weiss was about to leave. 

He's wearing a much bolder outfit now; asymmetric leggings, a skirt that gives up partly through before becoming a real skirt again, and a top that looks like 2/3rds of like 4 different tops that somehow actually comes together rather well. 

 Jaune's eyes widen and he smiles.  "Woah Weiss, you look really good in that!"  

Weiss tips her hat and strikes a pose. "Thank you, Jaune. I was going for a sort of, 'moody boyband prince' look. I have to say, you look super adorable in that." 

Jaune twirls around. "~wai~ Thank you! I was going for the sort of 'vagabond princess' look." 

Yang then turns around and doubletakes. 

"You look," She pontificates, "Absolutely ridiculous." 

Weiss smiles and tips her hat again. "Thank you."

Yang stands up and puts her hands on her hips. "Well, I was going to say, maybe you should button up that shirt a little more, but you don't really have anything that could fall out of it-"

"Hey!" Weiss says, in mock annoyance. She's good enough friends with Yang that she can do that. "I'll have you know that a flat chest is a symbol of rarity and a mark of pride! 

"Preach it, sister!" Jaune exclaims. He closes his eyes and stands up straight and puts his hand to his sternum. "When you get hugged by someone with a flat chest, you're held closer to their heart! 

"That is true," Yang says. She walks up and gives Weiss a hug. Weiss smiles. 

"So, you want to join us, Yang?" Weiss asks.

"I think I'm good, but thank you," Yang says. 

At that point, Blake gets back to their dorm. Blake looks a little distraught, but, like, she's trying to hold it in. 

"Hey Blake," Weiss manages to say, perfectly normally. 

"H-hey Weiss," Blake says. Weiss can't help but notice that Blake looks her up and down, twice, and then turns to the wall and blushes slightly. Weiss tries not to read too much into that.  

 "So what's up?" says Yang. 

"Have any of you seen Ruby?" 

"She said she'd be out this afternoon," Yang says. She tilts her head to the side. "She didn't mention that to you?" 

"Well, yeah, she did," Blake says, "But I was wondering if maybe she got back already.... Did she say where she was going?" 

Yang tilts her head to the side. "She did not. Maybe she has detention again with Prof. Goodwitch?"

"I asked her, but she said Ruby rescheduled her detention for another day...."

"Um," Weiss ventures, "We're going to the mall, Jaune and I, and you're welcome to come with us, if you want." 

"N-no, that's okay," Blake says. She rubs the back of her head. "I better wait for Ruby to get back."  

Yang looks between Blake and Weiss and grits her teeth awkwardly. She turns to Blake and puts a hand on the faunus's shoulder.  "Hey, Blake," Yang says, "this comes from a place of respect, but, maybe you shouldn't put too much of your hopes or pour too much of your free time onto my sister...." 

And Weiss decides to respect Blake's autonomy, and wishes her old friend luck before departing. 

 

 

 

 

 Its a short bus ride to the mall, and Weiss and Jaune do the idle chatter thing.

"So how are you and Pyrrha?" Weiss asks. "Has she gotten, less," she pontificates, "nonconsensual lately?"

"Oh!" Jaune blushes "She's- she's really charming, usually, so, like, I've gotten to know that side of her a bit more.... It's nice. I mean, we're not together, and we haven't- you know- but like. It's.... nice."  

Weiss nods. 

"She's been teaching me how to fight, too. I mean, some of its clearly just an excuse to flirt with me, but like, I've definitely learned a lot!. I kind of need a lot of work when it comes to combat...." 

"I definitely had to practice a lot before I could consistently not stab myself with my own sword." It's only a little bit of an exaggeration. 

Jaune chuckles. "Heehee. And she always has her hands clasped behind her back when she talks to me one on one, so it's like, I know she's trying. 

Weiss refrains from making a disparaging comment about their mutual friend. "Okay, cool." 

"So how are you and Blake?"

Weiss smushes her mouth together. "Pretty good," Weiss states. She opens her mouth, and then she closes her mouth. "Mmhmm. Yep."

"<pikapika>. That bad, huh?" 

"Wha- no! No, that's not what I meant. I mean, we talk to each other again-"

"<gata> It was _that bad_ before!?" 

"Well," Weiss looks out the window, "I mean, relationships wax and wane, right? We had a bit of a falling out, but now we're mostly good. And I think a part of it is that now I have other friends to hang out with, to get my mind off of things." Weiss says. She pontificates. "Like you." 

Jaune clutches his cheeks. "~wai~, thank you, Weiss! I'm honored to be your friend!" 

 

 

 

 

 

And Weiss leads Jaune into a clothing retailer with a good track record of contracting to factories with a good track record of humane labor standards, and they try on clothes. 

It's pretty fun . Weiss relearns some of the fashion knowledge that had fallen out of her head, and it's interesting getting such a different perspective on clothing. Jaune knows how to put seemingly disparate articles of clothing together in a way that works. So he's better at picking out casual outfits, while Weiss's expertise has been more in formal wear. 

And after they each purchase another link in that slothful Ouroborous of mall clothing, they leave the store.

A pair of teenagers bump into them, all smiles, and they saunter towards the pair of hunters.

Weiss smiles, and Jaune smiles, and he turns to Weiss. "Hey, do you think if we flirt with them, they'll buy us stuff?" 

Weiss makes a smile. "If that's what you want to do...."

"Hey bro," says one of the teenagers. "Your boyfriend's super cute. How do I get one like that?" 

Weiss takes a moment to discern that they were actually talking to her. Then she smiles. "Oh, he's not my boyfriend. And i'd say you're off to a good start so far." 

"~wai~ thank you!" Jaune says. He doesn't follow it up with anything. Weiss is similarly awkward. 

"Hey, me and my buddy were just about to hit up the arcade. You handsome fellas want to join us?"

"Well, maybe just for for a little bit?" Jaune ventures .

Weiss glances at Jaune, and she shrugs, and she refreshes her smile, and she tries to remember how to flirt.   

 

 

 

 

And after watching two strangers play arcade games and making awkward small talk, Weiss finds an opportunity to gracefully depart. 

Jaune makes a smile. "Well, that was okay. We got some free ice creams out of it."

Weiss shrugs. "I've had worse social interactions." 

"Yeah, I think you scared them off with your social awkwardness. Which is good, because I'm kind of bad at making people go away." 

Weiss makes a smile. "Hahaha, yeah...." 

There's a lull in the conversation. Must be Weiss' social awkwardness again. 

"You know," Weiss ventures, "I studied social interaction when I was growing up?"

"Really?" Jaune says.

"Yeah, the art of persuasion and subtly influcing people to do what you want and stuff," Weiss says, "And I kind of spent the last year not really talking to anybody, so I forgot how to do it naturally, but I still remember bits of my training, so. I guess that sort of informs my speaking habits.  

"Huh. Well, I have seven older sisters, so I never really had the option of not talk to anybody for a long period of time-" 

" _Seven?_ I just ahve the one. She used to drive me crazy,. Can't imagine seven." 

"Well, a few of them were already grown up when I was a kid, but yeah. I got a lot of wedgies," Jaune says, "And a lot of hand me downs." 

 

 

 

 

 

And as their last stop before they head back to Beacon, Weiss and Jaune make their way to the food court, and they bump into a couple of women who look like they just walked out of a goth clothing store (Which was probably relatively likely, since they were only a few shops down from one of the goth clothing stores).

They make eye contact and they wave, and they start approaching Weiss and Jaune.  

The shorter of the two pontificates. "Among those friendly Powers who him receav'd With joy and acclamations loud-"

Weiss nods. "Ruby. Cinder. How are you?" 

"We're doing pretty great, little dood." Cinder sloppily salutes Weiss. "How are you and- have we met?" she says to Jaune. 

"Yeah," Jaune bows. "Jaune Arc. We have a class together-" 

Cinder's brow rises just a bit, for just a moment. "Aw yeah, dood," she holds out a fist. Jaune awkwardly fist-bumps it, after a moment, "Normative gender expression is a construct designed to shame the proletariat into submission. Right on."

"Ahaha," Jaune says. "Yeah." 

Weiss coughs. "So, what are you doing here?" 

"What best may for the present serve to hide The Parts of each from other, that seem most To shame obnoxious, and unseemliest seen, Some Tree whose broad smooth Leaves together sowd, And girded on our loyns, may cover round Those middle parts, that this new commer, Shame, There sit not, and reproach us as unclean.-" 

"Same as us, then?" Weiss says. "Honestly, I figured you got most of your clothes from graverobbing." 

Ruby chuckles. 

"And you," Weiss says to Cinder, "From some sort of non-GMO, organic, free-range, grain-fed, cruelty-free independent clothing retailer you need to hike up a mountain to get to-" 

"Excuse me?" Cinder says, "How does that provide the greatest amount of utility to the greatest amount of people?" 

"Well, it seemed more speed than the Mall-" 

"Malls are mostly built as a tax haven, ," Cinder looks into the distance, "And in modern time as corporate greed slowly topples from the decay inherent to corruption, the monuments to their avarice slowly die, taking their dark prosperity and the livelihoods that depended on them, and their edifices exude the solemnity of twilight loneliness."

Weiss didn't say, 'You've been hanging out with Ruby, haven't you?' because, obviously, Cinder had been.

"To thir prepar'd ill Mansion driven down To chains of darkness, and th' undying Worm, That from thy just obedience could revolt, Whom to obey is happiness entire-" 

"Oh. Huh," Jaune says, "I hadn't noticed that." 

And a brief history lesson and some chanting later, Cinder and Ruby go on their way, and Weiss and Jaune return to Beacon.

 

 

 

 

 

\------------------- PRESENT DAY ------------------------

 

Blake awoke. Weiss was hugging her, drooling onto Blake's pajama's, as usual. 

It was the day after they'd infiltrated a sweatshop and Weiss had done some minor property damage to a factory owned . That was helping her get her racial equality wish, she supposed. 

At some point Weiss awoke. She hugged Blake mmmm'd into Blake's hair and adjusted her medical eyepatch. "Wheee! I really liked that adventure, Blakey! We should go on more of those!" 

Weiss giggled. "I have to say, I was a little worried; you didn't look like you were having any fun ever since winter arrived. (the season, not the person, though it was probably applicable to the person, too.) 

Blake shrugged. " _ **perhaps i found my holiday spirit**_." Blake sits up and rubs her eyes, before Weiss goes and rubs her eyes for her. 

_**"so where's the Krampusnaught tree?"** _

Weiss winked. "Oh!" she hugged Blake's head. "Silly Blakey, that's a pagan tradition! We don't get a tree; just ritualistic status-conscious consumerism and self-flagellation for our sins!" 

Blake smushed her mouth to the side. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm probably going to think of a lot more. Like, I'm not super satisfied with cinder's dialogue in this one. Hmmmm. 
> 
> The idea was that Weiss and Jaune are dressed up like Final Fantasy characters (which are themselves based off of an aspect of modern Japanese fashion), but I didn't come up with a lot of clever satire around it. 
> 
> So the plan is, next two chapters will wrap up the Possible Future and after that we'll have a real story arc that doesn't take forever to write.


	33. Not Seeing Clearly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the story beccomes a Hurt/Comfort fic for a chapter. Contains crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guarantee no expertise in or even correct knowledge of romantic comedy cliches, wordplay, scars, art theory, rebounds, or bathing. Especially art theory.

It was the middle or the afternoon when Blake realized that she hadn't seen Weiss for a while. Like, a couple hours, so basically an eternity in relation to the normal amount of times Weiss left her alone. Except when Weiss was forcibly dragged away from Blake, like on Fridays, Weiss usually never let go of Blake for more then 10 minutes at a time. 

So Blake looked around the mansion; she opened every drawer and looked behind every curtain and in every flowerpot and under every couch and chair. She considered conscripting one of the maids or security guards to help her, but if she did, she'd have fully transformed into a formal member of the Schnee household, and she wasn't willing to admit to that yet. 

Eventually, Blake smelled tears, and she followed the scent into one of the guest bathrooms. 

Weiss was there, in front of the mirror, her face in her hands, crying. Sobbing long, drawn-outs wails of despair. Her medical eye-patch was on the counter, and an empty tube of her pungent scar ointment lay discarded on the floor. 

Blake walked over, to stand slightly behind Weiss, to the left - not too close, but enough that Blake is sure Weiss notices her presence. 

Weiss didn't outwardly react. (Blake wasn't going to admit to being bothered by the knowledge that this was perhaps the first time ever in which Blake entered Weiss's eyesight and the human didn't immediately jump onto her to hug her.)

Blake didn't say anything, but she was there if Weiss needed her for anything. Weiss knew that. 

“It’s not going away,” Weiss said. She sniffled.  "They- they said that some scars, they’ll fade almost entirely. We got this expensive ointment and I've been using it every day and- and-

Weiss choked a sob again. 

Blake wondered if she should try to hug Weiss or something, but she figured, she's here if Weiss wants to. 

“It was supposed to have worked by now, and even though I've put the ointment on every day- I-" Weiss choked up, and she heaved another sob. 

Blake lifted her hand, towards Weiss's shoulder, but at the last minute, she stopped, and pulled her hand back.

"I still have my scar. It's not- it's not going away." Weiss says. "It's- it's not ever going to go away...." 

 Weiss sobbed, again. Blake smushed her mouth.

"And -it was my fault, why I got my scar. I was so stupid," Weiss said. "It's my own damn fault that I messed up my chance to be beautiful. That- that I'll never-" 

Blake then got over whatever it was holding her back and she tried to hug Weiss, then, but Weiss wouldn't have it.

But Blake had to do something, so she awkwardly sidestepped so that she could look at Weiss's face. Weiss turned her head away.  

**“ _but you_ are _beautiful."_**

Weiss sniffled. “Y-you’re just saying that." 

Blake tried to hug Weiss again. This time was more successful. 

_**“you're beautiful, Weiss."** _

Weiss stifled a smile and halfheartedly pushed Blake off of her. “No I'm not~ 

Blake put her arms around Weiss's shoulders and pulled, nestling Weiss's head to her chest, under her chin. 

_**"you're beautiful, Weiss-"**_

Weiss failed to suppress a giggle, this time. "Stoo~ooopppp~" said Weiss. A hint of playfulness seeped into her despair. She put her hand on Blake's face and pushed her away. Or tried to, at least.

After Weiss stopped struggling, Blake pushed her face against Weiss's. She licked some tears off of Weiss's cheek; they were tasty. 

Weiss giggled. For the first time in a long time, Weiss blinked. 

Weiss formally turned to Blake and smiled-

And then Blake's breath caught. Turned out, Blake wasn't just being polite earlier; Weiss's scar was noticeable, yes; an elegant pink line from Weiss's brow to the top of her cheek.

It was so  _metal._   Dust. 

And, of course, Blake had looked into Weiss's eyes before. Well, Weiss had looked into Blake's eyes, and sometimes Blake didn't look away in time. This time seemed a little different, though; really staring into each other's ocular organs. Blake noticed some things she didn't feel she'd noticed before. 

Weiss had brilliant icy blue eyes, Blake noticed. Cool and clear and kind, somehow all at once, like a mountain creek from a winter thaw or something. Shut up.

Weiss caught Blake's expression and came to the correct conclusion, apparently. "Oh, Blakey, you really do think I'm beautiful?" 

Blake smushed her mouth together and looked at the ground, and she felt her cheeks heat up, just a bit. 

“Oh _Blakey_!”

Weiss jumped on Blake, then, wrapping her arms around the Faunus's neck, pulling them both to the floor. 

"You're so nice, kitty!" said Weiss. She hugged Blake, all over. "So nice, kitty! I love you, nice kitty. I love you so much," Weiss planted a smooch on Blake's cheek, and then Blake's face burned so much her eyes watered, "Blakey." 

Blake smiled, involuntarily. Weiss rubbed her tummy and the sensation felt good.

And after they finished rolling around on the floor, Weiss sat up and looked around. 

"Woah," Weiss said. She giggled, and she and closed her right eye, staring at Blake with her left. "You're fuzzy, Blakey!" 

Blake blinked. It was a sentiment Weiss regaled to her often. 

"But I mean, fuzzier than normal," Weiss pulled Blake closer to her face. "See, here you look regular fuzzy, but then far away," Weiss held Blake out at arm's length, "You're super fuzzy, Blakey!" Weiss closed her right eye and opened her left, "Now, you look less fuzzy. But here-" Weiss switched eyes, "You're the fuzziest, Blakey!"

Blake frowned. It seemed like this was the time to seeek a medical opinion.

 

 

 

 

Blake accompanied Weiss to the optometrist, later that day. Well, obviously; Blake accompanied Weiss everywhere, even, as it turned out, to any and all doctor's offices. The eye doctor's office smelled like contact solution and glassware and faintly of tears.

Mum Schnee was in the corner, leaning against the wall, reading some sort of paper, pretending not to be worried. 

Weiss held Blake's hand as the Schnee read some numbers on a wall, and got her retina scanned, and various other machines looked at Weiss's eyes. 

The optometrist somehow managed to get pictures of the inside of Weiss's eyeball, and they were up on a nearby screen as a visual aid. 

"The good news is, it doesn't look permanent, and I'm optimistic that the issue can be corrected without surgery," said the optimist. 

"There is bad news, then?" asked Mum Schnee, just the hint of worry in her voice.

The optometrist smiled. "Well, 'bad' in that, because we won't be resorting to surgery, the issue will take some time to correct." 

"Yeah?" said Weiss.  

"And you're still young, so it's exceedingly likely you'll end up with perfectly fine vision, before you become an adult," the optometrist said, optimistically.

The eye doctor looked to Weiss. "So what happened was that wearing an eyepatch for so long has made your visual cortex overcompensate, and its gotten out of practice of interpreting images sent from your left eye, which is why everything you see out of that eye is fuzzy" the optimist said, optometristically.

Weiss nodded. She hugged Blake's head. "Except for Blake, since she's already so fuzzy!"

The optimist made a smile. "Sure." 

 "The way to correct it is simple. You need to practice seeing out of just your left eye, so for about three months or so, you need to wear an eyepatch over your right eye, as much as possible."

"Awww, but I was so excited to have depth perception again!" Weiss said. But she held her hand out in front of her to accept the eyepatch.

 And for the last time in a long while, Weiss blinked. She put a medical eyepatch on, over her right eye, this time.

Weiss jumped out of the chair bed and walked forward, her arms stretched out, and she bumped into a piece of medical equipment. The optometrist ran to steady the device, and Mum Schnee ran to steady her daughter 

"Oof!" said Weiss. "I guess I'll need some help to get around then- Blakey! Come heeeee~reee~"

Weiss reached out towards Blake, and Blake walked forward. Mum Schnee backed off, after giving a brief, almost imperceptible frown.  

Blake scrunched her mouth, and she allowed Weiss to push her forward, like a shield or something.

Mum Schnee smirked. " Well, I suppose this will work out; Blake can be your seeing eye cat, for the next few months." 

Blake frowned. _**"i'm not a cat."**_

"Yeah, she's a kitty!" Weiss said. She squished Blake.

Blake blinked. She cleared her throat. " _ **also, wouldn't i need training for that?"** _

"We'll get you a crash training course in the relevant skills to simulate the important aspects of sight." 

Blake shrugged. It wasn't like it would change much about her and Weiss's dynamic, and free education was free education.

It was a little weird to be the one to be in front of Weiss all the time, though.

 

 

 

 

 

 

OMAKE:

 

Weiss pushed Blake along. Blake stopped when they were in the right space, and Weiss stopped pushing.

"So, Blakey, lookit! Look at it! Do you see?" Weiss said. She hugged Blake. "What am I supposed to see here?" 

Blake blinked. 

_**"good hues. nice brushstrokes. draws eye to flower. refreshing, joyous."** _

"Wow!" Weiss said. "That's so cool, Blakey!" The wonder was apparent in her voice.  

Mum Schnee nodded, from her corner. "Very good, Blake. At least for an art theory novice."

_**"is this really necessary?"** _

"Of course it is." Mum Schnee pontificated. "Why bother even having eyes if you can't appreciate art with them?" 

Blake scrunched her mouth to the side.

Weiss then pushed Blake towards another painting. "Now here, Blakey, look at this art! Do you see? Do you see the art?"

Blake scrunched her mouth to the other side, and she tried to remember what she had learned about surrealism.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

\-------------------- A POSSIBLE FUTURE ------------------------

 

 

It's the middle of the afternoon when Weiss realizes that she hasn't seen half her team like, all day. It was a slow week, and perhaps many of them were taking advantage of the lack of things going on to catch up on the more introverted activities available to them. But Weiss is trying to spend less time alone, so she decides to go find some of her friends. 

But, as it turns out, Yang was looking for her. 

“Hey, Weiss,“ Yang says to Weiss, at some point.

Weiss smiles and nods. "Hey Yang." 

Yang rubs the back of her head and makes a smile. "So, uh, I think you might want to check out the women’s restroom on this floor, right now?" Yang pontificates. "Not in a gross way, I mean. It's totally fine, and it's nothing, like, weird or creepy going on in there." 

Weiss blinks. 

Yang smiles with the left half of her face and looks to the wall. "Blake is involved," Yang ventures. 

"Umm," Weiss says, "I don't know if I should get involved in that- I'm here if she needs me, and she knows that-"

 Yang sighs. "Ok, fine, ruin the mystery. I just saw Blake run in there, crying." Yang makes a shrug, awkwardly, "Also, Ruby’s a jerk. I can say that, 'cause I'm her sister, but that's all I'll say for the moment." Yang bites her cheek.

Weiss blinks.

"I-" Yang says, "I really think you should go see her."

 

 

 

 

And the next things Weiss knows, she's in front of the door to the women's bathroom, a short walk away from their dorms. Weiss is out of breath and and really nervous, and she hears Blake crying from the other side of the door. 

 Weiss opens the door and peaks her head into the bathroom. Fluorescent light shines across immaculate tiled porcelain in repeated patterns, and the long mirror in front of the sinks gives the illusion that hte room is bigger than it is.  

But the main feature Blake is slumped against a wall, crying, long drawn out wails of despair. She's more of a dark figure while the bathroom is more of a beige and gold, so the eye is naturally drawn towards her.

Weiss takes a breath. She doesn't say anything as she walks up to her teammate and sits down next to Blake, not too close, but enough that Blake notices her presence.  

Blake looks up, and then lays her head back against her knees. She continues sobbing, but in a more subdued manner. 

Weiss doesn't say anything until Blake says something.  

And eventually, Blake does. "It’s my fault,” Blake says, eventually. She sniffles. "Ruby told me _so_  many times what she wanted from me- from us- and- and it wasn't what I wanted."

Blake sniffles. "And I kept hoping that, maybe, she'd change her mind- that I'd be good enough to change her mind-" 

Weiss bites her lip.

"I was so stupid," Blake says, "to think that forcing a confrontation would work."

"But that's what I did. I told her that we needed to talk- that I couldn't go on like we were." 

"And I told her that she was my angel, and that I wanted to be the steward of her smile, but that the only way we could share a piece of what quickens the rot was if we were exclusive." 

"And- And she said no. That there was someone she loved more," Blake manages to say, before she lets out one last batch of sobs before falling silent. 

They are silent for a while, but Blake isn't sobbing anymore.

Weiss looks at the wall. "So, um," she says, "did you really think- think that much of Ruby?" 

"I- I guess," Blake says. "She was nice, and cool, and eloquent."

Weiss blinks. "Was she?"

"And she was always respectful of my agency and we had compatible kinks and we spent a lot of time together, so like," Blake shrugs. "I don't know." 

Weiss makes an empathetic smile. 

"I'm sorry she didn't live up to your expectations," Weiss says. 

Blake chuckles, forlornly. "Yeah...."

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Weiss says, "I just want you to know, I'm always here." 

 "Actually, um-" Blake says, and there's a hint of a blush in her cheeks, "Do- do you think you could give me a bath? I- I kind of miss being clean...."

"Shouldn't you know how to do that? I mean, you had like a whole year by yourself where you should have figured that out."

Blake scrunches her mouth and blushes, slightly. "I mean, theoretically. "

Weiss chuckles. "Well, if that's what you want, of course."

Weiss leaves for their dorm to get the relevant cleaning supplies and a change of clothes for Blake, and when she returns, she hums a slow, familiar ballad that she keeps up as she works. 

Weiss draws the bath and fluffs the towels and sets the soap and shampoo and brush off to the side. 

And Blake breathes and closes her eyes in serene obedience as she holds her arms out, so Weiss can disrobe her. 

Blake steps into the bathtub, sinking up to her chin. Weiss starts cleaning Blake's shoulders and arms, and then the rest of her, leaving the head for last. 

Weiss rubs Blake's scalp, entangling her fingers in Blake's cascade of raven hair, gently massaging her temples, rubbing the skin of Blake's adorable kitty ears. 

Blake purrs, soft and low, sometimes in time to the humming, and sometimes just as Weiss massages her head.

And eventually, Weiss is finished. Weiss moves to start packing up the cleaning bottles-

There's a quick splash as Blake hand darts out, to grab Weiss's hand, before it's too far away. Blake holds on, tightly, a little desperately. Weiss had managed not to flinch that much, and after a moment Weiss smiles and gives Blake's hand a squeeze in return. It's- nice.

They hold hands there, for a little while. 

"Hey, Weiss," Blake whispers, "I- I realized something. About me, and you." 

Weiss cannot answer. Her throat feels raw despite the humidity in the bathroom.

Blake clears her throat. "Remember, that night, when you asked me what I wanted?" She says.

Weiss nods.

"I- now I realize, I think I was looking for someone I could devote myself to, who I could always be there for and who would always be there for me, and who cared about me in the same way I cared about her." 

Blake looks into Weiss's eyes. It's been a while, and Weiss had often gazed into those brilliant amber windows, but now, it's like Weiss is seeing Blake for the first time. 

"And you know," Blake says, and her breath shudders and she bats her eyes at Weiss, "-that was always you, wasn't it?"

Weiss doesn't trust herself to speak, and the thundering of her heart against her rib-cage leaves her paralyzed. 

"S-so," Blake says, "I'm saying that, I'd like to be yours, Weiss." 

"And," Blake looks downwards, sheepishly, "Since I'm already naked...."

Eventually, Weiss answers, with a breach of eye contact. The words come after. 

"A few months ago, I'd have said immediately said yes," Weiss says, "You've been such a fixture in my life, Blake, and it hurt to think that that might change." 

Blake blinks.

"But-" Weiss makes a smile. "With everything you said to me, that night three months ago," Weiss says. She resumes eye contact, "Those feelings won't have gone away, Blake. I know I can't erase a decade of mistreating you so easily. And I get it; you think you've made a mistake, right now, and you're trying your hardest to fix it as fast as possible. But I don't think you're really seeing things clearly, Blake. I think you're just rushing back into something that's familiar to you, when you were right all along- we all need to move on." 

Blake inhales, as if she's trying not to show emotion. "So you don't want me?" 

"Blake, I want you to be happy," Weiss says, "I want you to feel like you're valued, and that you're loved, - and if you're sure you'd get that from me, then- I don't know, maybe- But I want you to make sure  _you_ really want this." 

Weiss grimaces in memory, briefly, "And I've looked at myself, recently, and I know that I'm not perfect. I don't know if I deserve you, but right now, that doesn't matter." 

"I don't think you'd be happy, Blake, so I have to say no," " Weiss manages to say. She breaks eye contact.

Blake chokes back one more sob. She lets go of Weiss's hand, and she sinks into the bath, again. "O-okay," she whispers. 

Weiss can't think of anything to say. 

Blake chuckles another forlorn chuckle. "I- I guess I'm not good enough to make someone want to say, huh?" 

Weiss immediately turns to her friend. "No! You _are_ good enough, Blake. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise."

Blake sniffles. "Y-you're just saying that. You're supposed to, when your friends are down." 

"I'm not just saying that," Weiss says, "Just- just because you've been unlucky, doesn't mean you're not pretty and smart and cool and funny-" 

Blake fails to stifle a smile. "I-I'm really not," she says. 

"Blake," Weiss states, and she puts on her most commanding voice, "You are the most beautiful woman in all of Beacon and any girl would be honored to have you." 

"Stoooo~oooop," Blake says, a hint of playfulness seeping into her despair. She hides her mouth and creeping blush in her hands. "You've always been so embarrassing, Weiss."

Weiss smiles. "You know, someone wise once said, 'dignity is a lie based on imperialist standards of propriety designed to trick nonconforming people into regulating themselves." 

Blake laughs, for real. 

"Tell you what," Weiss says, "Let's get you dry and dressed and I can take you out to dinner, yonight. We can catch up and talk and- and see where it goes from there?" 

Blake nods. "I'd like that." 

Weiss drys Blake off with a towel, and then she dresses Blake. 

On the way out, Blake makes to grab Weiss's hand. Weiss allows it.

"Um," Blake says, "S-should we invite our other teammates?" Blake says.

"I was thinking this would just be the two of us." 

Blake breaths a sigh of relief. "Ok." 

Weiss nods. "You don't have to see Ruby anytime soon, don't worry."

Blake rubs her head. "I- was it that obvious?" 

Weiss shrugs. "Seriously, forget about her. If she can't see how great you are, then it's her loss," she says. 

Blake makes a smile. "Yeah, okay."

"And let Cinder handle all that mess."  

 

 

 

Blake stops, suddenly. "Wait," she says, "'Cinder'?"

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> < style accent = "British", quirkiness = 11 >
> 
> Well, that looks like a good place to stop for today's episode- Now, I know someone in the comment's is going mention that I could have unlocked a sex scene there, but I'm pretty sure that gets you the bad ending? And that's not what were going for - maybe we'll look at it in our charity livestream later, but here we're going for the golden Blake endings. That's the OTP right there. I mean, the other routes are fine, yeah, and you can check them out with the other lets-players on the channel - link in the description down below- but we're just going for the one ending during this Let's Play of {clever dating simulator name involving Weiss} 
> 
> But yeah, thanks so much for watching, and If you liked what you saw, remember to hit the like button and if you really loved it, go ahead and subscribe. Also feel free to check me out on Twitter and support me on patron, gamewisp, and Tad, and be sure to visit our Merch store! We got some cool new shirts and hoodies in, for a limited amount of time. And if you really want to support what we do here, you can draw a pentagram in rooster's blood to give parts of your soul to us directly. Tell Satan the coupon code down below for a bonus.
> 
> This is Some Dumb Muffin, signing off." 
> 
>  
> 
> < /style >  
>  
> 
>    
> END OMAKE: 
> 
>  
> 
> On a more serious note, for serious, next chapter will finally get some sort of conclusion to this possible future romance interlude in middle of this black romantic comedy satire fic, and maybe chapters will become easier to write once again. I dunno, I feel like the Possible Future started out good, but I'm kind of looking forward to not having to worry about it too much anymore.


	34. Petty Rivalries part 2: Songs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weiss gets talked to about her singing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains puns. Terrible, terrible puns. Trigger warning for that.
> 
> Also singing. I understand that songs in fanfics are disliked by a portion of fanfic readers, so trigger warning for that too.
> 
> EDIT: Alright, after some original posting SNAFUs, I think this chapter is coherent now. Will continue with ongoing typo hunts.

“Well~, it’s been building up inside of me for, oh, I don’t know how long~" Weiss sang. She was hugging Blake's shoulders, rocking back and forth as she led Blake in some sort of dance. Blake allowed it, for now, but for how much longer, she didn't quite know. 

Weiss entered the refrain, “Don’t worry Blakey (Don’t worry Blakey)~”...

Blake endured through the rest of the song. 

 

 

 

Eventually, the ordeal was over, and Blake escaped to the room where all the heat outtake from the kitchen refrigerators was vented. It was dark, and warm, and out of the way. Blake made herself comfortable. 

And a little while later, a few of the maids found her. 

"Sorry to interrupt, fair Blake," said one of the maids- the stocky one, "But we need you for evidence."

Blake nodded. She allowed them to escort her to one of the offices. 

They showed up in front of pa Schnee. His study was a lot more informal, and he was in the middle of browsing formal attire and pretending to read the news, on a glowing rectangle on his desk. 

 He turned to Blake and the group of maids as they entered and presented a document.

“So we got every one of the staff to sign this,” said the tall maid.

“'sa petertiton. Ta get Weiss ta stop wid tha singin'."

“And we’re all gonna resign, unless Weiss stops singing. 

 There were nods. 

“Or, at least, signifigantly improves tha quality o ‘er songs, m'rght?

No one laughs. the memories are too painful. 

"And," pa Schnee began, "you are all in agreement?"

"Yesm messer."

"I'm afraid so, m'lord."

“Ackey Blakey heart’ was the last straw."

“I still have nightmares."

Blake involuntarily shuddered. Ninjas didn't have nightmares, but Blake sometimes had bad dreams that simulated the experience.

"And," pa Schnee continued, "How about you, Blake?" 

The maids looked around at each other, and nodded, and then they looked to Blake, expectantly. 

Blake usually didn't care if people stared at her. Like, Weiss did it constantly, and her occupation in the Schnee household was almost literally 'oditty', as far as she could tell,and she had acclimate d to the position by now. So, she didn't mind, at all.

In fact, she savored how everyone seemed expectant on her answer. She was important. Haha. 

Eventually, (thought not  _too_  much later) Blake nodded. 

“Oh, thank Dust,” said pa Schnee. He sighed in relief and rubbed his forehead. “I''m not the only one." 

 

 

 

 

 

So, with pa Schnee’s blessing, the entourage approached mum Schnee, and made their ultimatum heard, in attempt to get her on board.  

Mum Schnee listened to the grievances with a passive face, and she didn't say anything for seven seconds after the maids were finished explaining.

And then she turned to Blake. But, like, Blake was used to being looked at, so it wast like she flinched or anything. 

"Blake," said mum Schnee, " You have repeatedly made the case that we should treasure our daughter’s creativity and joy, and the expression of such."

Blake scrunched her mouth to the side. _**“… yes.”**_

“So with you earlier position on the encouragement of our daughter's creativity, do you recommended we ask her to stop singing you songs, which is, obviously, an expression of creativity that brings her joy?

Blake cleared her throat. **_“yes."_**

Mum Schnee nodded. "Why?"

_**"sanity concerns."** _

“But do you think a singing sanction is the best course of action for Weiss?

Blake smushed her lips together and looked at pa Schnee and the staff. They looked sort of guilty, too.

" ** _i_ _thought you didn't value her creativity._** "

“Perhaps you’ve convinced me otherwise. Schnees _do_ see opportunities where others might see obstacles, you know," Mum Schnee waved the air, "But very well, then, if Weiss's songs bother you so much," she said, "Then _you_ can be the one to tell her to stop." 

 

 

 

 Inevitably, Weiss found Blake and decided to sing the latter another song. 

"Hey hey, kitty kitty, you're so, pretty pretty,~" Weiss began- 

 _ **“Weiss,”**_ Blake interrupted. " _ **we should talk.**_ " 

Weiss smiled at her. "What is it, Blakey?" Weiss asked.

Blake scrunched her mouth to the side. She looked at the door, where pa Schnee and the more prominent members of the staff were watching from. 

Blake turned to her human. " _ **we want you to stop singing."**_  

Weiss winked. 

Then she gasped, in the bad way. "W-what?"

Blake looked at the floor.

"You don't like my songs, Blakey?

Blake smushed her lips together. 

Weiss was scandalized. "But- Blakey? Why not?" 

Pa Schnee stepped into the room, now, to bail her out. "I think what Blake is trying to say," said pa Schnee, "is that the quantity of songs you sing maybe be negatively affecting thier quality.

Weiss winked. 

Pa Schnee visibly sweated. "Don't get me- or any of us wrong- 'Blakey Bell(adonna)' and 'Hushabye Blakey' will always be perennial classics, and we all loved the soulful ballads such as 'Blake me to Church', "Welcome to the Blake Parade', and 'Blake me up inside'," he turned to some of the staff, and there were the occasional nods of agreement, "And we all danced along to upbeat swings of 'Blake it off' and 'Blake by the Ocean'- And who can forget the artistic stylings of 'Blake Oddity' or 'All my friends are Heathens (Blake it slow)'- but perhaps, a brief hiatus on songwriting will both renew the excellence of your, ah, songwriting skills and allow your audience time to look forward to what I'm sure will be catchy tunes and clever wordplay." 

Blake nodded. " _ **well put.**_ " 

Pa Schnee nodded. "Thank you."

Weiss winked. "So what you're saying is- you don't like my songs?" 

"no."

Pa Schnee pontificated chaotically, until eventually settling into a shrug in affirmation. 

Weiss's face somehow became even more scandalized. "W-well, if you don't like my songs, Blakey, I'll stop." 

Blake nodded. This was success, right? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Weiss was glum afterwards. Like, exceedingly so. She wandered around the lonely halls of the Schnee mansion, sighing increasingly crestfallen sighs, with tears drying on her cheeks and making her medical eyepatch soggy. And you know, that was her prerogative. Blake didn't care. In fact, since there wasn't any more annoying singing going on, she was happier than she was earlier, since her ears had time to heal.

But, after Weiss's 205th despondent sigh, Blake figured that, since she was responsible for safeguarding Weiss's  physical and emotional well-being, she decided that she would try to cheer Weiss up, and if Weiss found some new form of creative outlet, maybe she wouldn't want to sing songs again, too. 

So, Blake flopped in front of the Schnee. That didn't work.

Blake tried to hug Weiss. That didn't work either

Blake reminded Weiss that she was <sigh> a 'kitty'. Weiss made a smile and halfheartedly scritched at Blake's tummy, for a few seconds, before being glum again. 

Blake tried to brush her ears against Weiss’s mouth, but not even that could cheer her up.

"H-hey, Blakey," Weiss said. She tried to make a smile, but it didn't reach her eye. "I don't suppose, maybe, you can do something else, for just a little while? Just a little while, Blakey, I promise." 

Blake blinked. She made her way to the door. 

And you know, this was great. Blake had a life outside of Weiss. Definitely. She could, like, use the bathroom, or take a nap behind some of the refrigerators, or ask the cook for food, or play chess with some of the staff. 

 

 

Blake left the room, and Mum Schnee was there. She nodded to Blake, before entering the room Blake had left, that Weiss was in.  

Blake spied on the two of them, from a crack in the door.  

Mum Schnee scooped her daughter into her arms and tried to physically comfort her. Blake suspected the adult learned how from observing Weiss attempt such to herself. 

“What’s wrong, Weiss, sweetie?” said the taller Schnee, as if she didn't know. "Are you despondent about the aesthetics of your scar again? I wouldn't worry; it looks super badass." 

"Oh, no, its not that, it's-" Weiss said. She sighed. “Blake doesn’t like my songs anymore...”

“Oh, sweetie.” The woman rocked Weiss back and forth, twice. “I’m so sorry.”

"She used to really love them!" Weiss said. She cried, a couple sobs. She leaned her head against her mother's elbow.   

"Oh Weiss, sweetie, " Mum Schnee said. "I'm sure that's terrible for you."

Weiss nodded. "I- I just feel sad, knowing that." 

Mum Schnee rocked her daughter, once more. "Oh, sweetie. I know it can be hard knowing that traits and qualities that once endeared you to someone can one day make you loathe them, but it's important to know that love, or at least the expression of love, is a choice, Weiss sweetie." 

Weiss frowned. "I thought you said that unconditional love was a lie, and that all relationships were a transaction." 

“I do believe I rescinded that statement," Mum Schnee said, "And besides, the concepts are not incompatible. It is a choice to continue a transactional relationship- If you get something out of the experience, and the other party does as well, and you want to continue it, then it is valid. But there will be times when you have to make the choice between something that you believe will satisfy your desires  _now_ , and something that will be conducive to your long term goals of status or self-image. To decide whether to give into abject hedonism or to work to make yourself a better person." 

Mum Schnee pontificated with her free hand. "And this choice will pop up in many instances in your life, but when you decide you love someone it gives you many opportunities to make this choice. "

Weiss visibly tuned out, at this point in the lecture. 

Mum Schnee cleared her throat. "Maybe you're a little young for this talk. Another time, then." 

Mum Schnee cleared her throat again. "Anyway," she continued, "Have you finally grown tired of Blake, Weiss sweetie?”

Not that it affected Blake at all, but Weiss took a moment to answer. Blake didn't sweat or panic or anything. “N-no." Weiss said, eventually, "She’s still my snuggly Blakey. I’m just sad she doesn't like my songs...."

Mum Schnee nodded. "Glad to hear that. She's rather delightful to have around, and it'd be awkward to have to get rid of her, now." 

Blake - blinked? 

"So, what are you going to do now, since she doesn't like your songs anymore."

"W-well," Weiss said, "I think maybe I'll take dad's advice, and wait a while to come up with better material, and see if Blakey likes them again...." Weiss sniffled. "But if that doesn't work, then, I don't know. I guess I'll have to show Blakey some other way that I love her...."

"You know," Mum Schnee said, a little hesitantly. She looked at the wall. "you could always sing songs and replace phonetically appropriate words with  _my_ name, or diminutives thereof...." 

Weiss winked. "But your name is really hard to rhyme and has an awkward cadence...."

Mum Schnee scrunched her mouth. "Then, how about 'mother'? There's several rhymes for that word, and more for the diminutives thereof...."

Weiss brightened up. "Ooh, you like hearing my songs, Mom?"

Mum Schnee glanced to the wall. "If I must, I suppose it won't be the worst experience. 

"Do you want to hear the latest song I made up for Blake, but that she doesn't want me to sing her?"

Mum Schnee's left eye twitched. "I- guess. That is. Acceptable?" 

Weiss brightened up, and started singing. 

 

 

 

And at some point, as Weiss was singing her mother a song originally meant for Blake, Mum Schnee looked to the door, where Blake was spying on them, and the adult woman peeled down her eyelid and stuck her tongue out at Blake. 

Blake managed not to flinch. She stepped back from the doorway. Oh well, next time she would be victorious. 

 

 

 

\-------------------- A POSSIBLE FUTURE ------------------------

 

 

Weiss, Blake, Yang, Ren and Nora arrive at the karaoke bar. Yang had finally managed to reconcile the schedules of up to ten people and convince them all to sing songs in front of each other at a commercial establishment (Yang had ensured to make sure Weiss was comfortable with it, and Weiss had insisted that she was). So yeah; Weiss is excited for tonight, she tells herself. Weiss sees that nobody wants to take the initiative of talking to a stranger, so Weiss makes herself approach the person at the register on behalf of her friends.

“So, uh,” Weiss says, “We have a reservation for up to ten people, under a, um, 'Glynda Goodwitch'?"

The clerk nods and hands Weiss a key. "Room 3, down the hall." 

Weiss glances at the rest of her party. "I think we were going to wait here for more of our party to gather?" 

"Knock yourself out," said the clerk, before resuming a game of solitaire. 

Weiss walks back to her group joining Blake in leaning against the wall. Blake nods to her, all cool like. 

Yang discreetly shoots Weiss a smile and some finger guns and makes a 'go on' gesture with her hand. Weiss scrunches her mouth to the side and leans her head on Blake's shoulder. Blake allows it. 

Ren interrupts the silence. “Is it weird that Ruby invited a teacher along?” he asks.

"Well, a little," Weiss says, "But with a teacher supervising, we’re allowed to stay out all night, and the couches at this venue are really comfy.”

“Yeah," Nora says. She bares her teeth in a smile. "But the appeal of staying out all night is that we _don't_ have a teacher supervising." 

"Aw, c'mon," Yang says, "I've stayed the night at one of these places before, and they're really accommodating." 

Yang regales of her experiences with overnight karaoke booths. It's interesting. 

 

 

 

At some point, the door opens, and Goodwitch steps in. She stops and looks over the group of teenagers, and she sidles up. "I- I guess I'm a little early, huh?" she says. 

 "I mean," Weiss says, "With you here, we have more than half the party, so you're not earlier than average." 

"But she's in the second group to arrive," Nora says, "Which makes her in the first half arrivals, so by that metric, she is earlier than average." 

Goodwitch turns to the group. "Well, I think what we need is to establish a formal definition of what constitutes 'early', and see if some common gut-check cases fit into the established criteria, and sequentially make adjustments to the model-" 

There was a chorus of blinks.

Goodwitch rubs the back of her head and looks to the wall. "Oh, you were joking, ahahahaha."

There is an awkward silence. 

"So how are you?" Weiss asks. 

 Goodrich nods. "Decent. How about you? How're your teeth?"

"No complaints, in either case," Weiss says. It's not exactly a lie. Weiss turns to the teacher. "And your," she gestures, "hobbies?"

"I've actually not had a lot of time for them, recently, what with the term toughening up, and the shadow war between the forces of good and evil and all," Goodwitch says, "But I can make time for some, ah, karaoke."

"You sing?"

"I've had some experience with singing, yes, mostly as a side effect of the pursuit of other hobbies." She waves the air. "I'm sure It's got nothing on some of you kids. "

Weiss makes a laugh. "Ahaha. I guess we'll see, right?" 

 

 

 

 

 

After they get texts from the four people yet to appear, telling them to start without them, they make their way to room 3. 

The room is rather spacious, with couches lining the edges of the room, around a stage with two microphones and a large screen TV. There is a table with a menu for possible food and two large books, listing the available songs, one by artist and the other in alphabetically order, 

 Yang makes herself comfortable on one of the couches and Goodwitch makes her way to the corner of the booth, but Weiss keeps standing up. 

“So who wants to go first?” Weiss says, to her group. 

“Well, you’re good at singing,” Blake says, to Weiss. Blake shoots her friend a smile, and Weiss's heart lightens, just a bit. "Why don't you start us off with a bang?"  

“OH! Uh,” Weiss rubs the back of her head. “I- I thought i’d tag along here just to socialize, today, 

"Awww," Blake says. She pouts. "I was kind of hoping you'd sing me something...." 

 Weiss blushes and looks to the wall, in a futile attempt to hide her blush. She smushes her mouth to the side, "I- maybe. At some point, later on." 

Blake pouts."But you're really good! You had so many singing lessons growing up, after your parents figured that, if you weren't going to grow out of it, you might as well be classically trained." 

Weiss frowns with the left half of her face. "I seem to recall you also had some singing lessons, Blake." 

Blake smirks. "I'm, trying to blot out those memories."

"That's what you said about the dancing lessons."

Blake shudders, just a bit, but then sticks her tongue out. "And I had succeeded, until you reminded me." 

Weiss laughs. Blake laughs.  

“Hey, We’ll bail you out, Weissicle,” says Nora. She and Ren jump up on stage, and Nora punches in a code on the primary mic.

"Because Karaoke isn't about singing WELL," Nora explains, giving an impromptu speech on the karaoke stage. "It is a method to bare your souls, to share in indentification with material touchstones of Atlasian culture. 

 It is true diligence, such introspection, and such honesty, to sing a song that means somethign to you, in front of your friends. To eschew the verneir of dignity and pretention to 

 Nora ceases speaking. SHe looks over her audience. 

"But perhaps such dilligence is not for us. There are easy outs, to avoid such effort," Nora says. She types four numbers into the microphone. "We chose the slothful path." 

 The song starts, upbeat and in a major key.

"~just a smalltown girl~" Nora belted out. She posed. "Living in a lonely world~" 

Nora continues the song. Ren sang the next part, and then they both sing and pose. 

 

 

 

Sometime during the song, Juane and Pyrrha arrive. Pyrrha has a leather jacket over a button down shirt that, and Juane’s got a nice ensemble suitable for the fall weather.

They sit down, as non-disruptively as possible. Nora winks at them during the song.

“So how was your date?” Yang whispers to them.

Juane blushes. He doesn't say anything else, but his expression says a lot. 

Pyrrha smirks. “Pretty great,” she says. Her expression also says a lot. 

 

 

After Ren and Nora finish, and after the crowd applauds, Pyrrha stands up, gesturing to Weiss. 

 "Weiss," she says, "would you care to back me up here? This seems like it might be your sort of song..." 

 Weiss "Well, you're not entirely wrong about that." she glacnes over to Blake, "But I think I'll sit this one out." 

"Awww,"

Weiss makes a smile. "I can harmonzie during the parts I know from the couch here." 

 Pyrrha accepts that, and starts the song- a bit of a rock opera, in .She directs a fair amount of it towards Jaune, who smiles and breaks eye contact at relevant points. 

"~I can dim the lights and sing you songs full of Sa~ad things, we can do the tango just for two~~"

And during the second line, Weiss sings harmony, form the couch. 

Weiss gets applause, and she sinks into her shoulders. People encourage her to go up to sing along with Pyrrha, and Weiss really has to insist not to. 

The insistence continues after Pyrrha's song finishes, with the red-haired girl prince joining in the exhultations for Weiss to go up and sing with her, next time.

And it continues when Jaune comes up to the stage, and says that it'd be cool if someone who knew how to sing could help him out. Weiss expresses her confidence in Jaune's singing, and he puts the song, pouting only slightly. 

The song starts, something upbeat and pop. "You think I'm pretty, without any makeup on~" Jaune sings. "You think I'm funny when I tell the punchline wrong~" 

And even though the rest of the people in the booth stop overtly suggesting that Weiss should sing, they're still looking at her, and _smiling_ _encouragingly_ , how dare they, and Weiss shrinks into her seat. Blake puts a comforting arm around her shoulder, but Weiss still _knows_ everyone's there looking at her-

And it's actually a relief when Ruby walks in, just then. 

Goodwitch stands up and smiles-

Until Cinder walks in, too-

Goodwitch and Cinder stare at each other, for a period of time that feels longer than it probably is.  

And the air between them literally lowers in temperature. Weiss swirls the enusing gusts of cold in some sort of fractal pattern, until it's clear that the staring contest isn't going to stop of its own accord, and she clears her throat and steps forward. "So, uh, you two... know each other?"

Goodwitch frowns, almost imperceptibly. "I would not go that far." 

"'Know of' is more like it," Cinder says, "I've had a whale of a time undoing the conditioning you've been trying to impart on little Ruby here." 

"Oh, is that why Ruby's grades have started slipping again this last month?" 

"Uh, maybe her _grades_ fell back but that's because she's been trying to actually learn the material, rather than learn how to regurgitate it in a testing context." 

"Perhaps she would have caught up if  _you_ hadn't interupted the process-" 

"Perhaps _you_ should have realized that the tradition education system isn't designed for student's like Ruby doesn't perform well under the traditional education system when she spent every week this semester in detention-"

"Uh, yeah it does- that's what the detention is for."

"And when has detention ever worked?"

"Well, in one case, with Ruby." Goodwitch points at Ruby. 

"And I can assure you that one lesson with  _me_ has done more than any number of your detentions have for Ruby's learning." 

"Wait," Weiss says. she gestures towards Cinder. "You're Ruby's, uh, private tutor? 

Ruby brushes a strand of hair behidn her hair. Cinder smirks. "Yes."

 "Oh, okay," Weiss says, "I suppose I was under the inccorrect impression that you two were involved, like personally?"

Cinder waves the air. "Nah, I assure you, my relationship is strictly pedagogical." 

Goodwitch folds her arms and frowns. "Though such a relationship really isn't necesary in the first place." 

"Oh, what, so we can keep the power to disseminate knowledge in the hands of a handful of elites and shut minority viewpoints out-"

"You say that like the alternative to the traditional education sysem will magically achieve equality when really it's just forcing groups to duplicate research and, without oversight,  Society is able to exist because of a shared foundational knowledge base-"

"That just so happens to reinforce traditional authoritarian power structures. 

"OH," Goodwitch makes air-quotes with her fingers, "And you think the ideal solution is a student and teacher relationship that works together to create knowledge'-"

"I really don't think  _you're_ qualified to comment on the ideal relationship between a student and teacher."

 Ruby makes a laugh, hollow and noisome. 

As the argument contines, Weiss concludes that it won't stop on its own, so she steps in, between the two women. 

"He~ey, so," Weiss states, "I think, we can both agree that the traditional education, while flawed in many respects, is would be hard to completely restructure it." 

Goodwitch nods. Cinder nods reluctantly. 

"And also that critical pedagogy has its benefits, and a place in a students education, but it might not be an ideal replacement for all forms of education, especially consdering the barriers to establishing infrastructure related to providing it to the degree to realize the potential of the philosophy."

"Oh?" Cinder raises an eyebrow, "you are familiar with the philosophy?" 

Weiss shrugs. "My dance instructor was a fan of it. So I know that it can be an effective tool, but not necessarily in all subjects, especially when considering that the framework and infrastructure may not be feasible to reconstruct on a per-student basis." 

The adults nod, reluctantly.  

"And, furthermore, this maaay not be the venue for such a discussion." Weiss gestures to the karaoke stage, and the microphone.

Cinder and Goodwitch both blush in embarrassment. 

"And the point is moot anyway" Yang interjects. She's smiling, and she gestures to her sister, "Since she's already married to her weapon."

Ruby chuckles, nervously, and pulls her scythe off her back. She clutches Crescent to her chest. 

"Well, my apologies for derailing tonight's activities," Cinder says. She puts her hand to her chest, and with her other hand reaches out for the microphone. "I'll take the next song, if none of you doods were in queue?" 

 

 

 

Cinder sings a nice acoustic protest song. Weiss leans next to Blake, her head on the taller girl's shoulder. 

"Are you okay?" Weiss whispers,

Blake scrunches her mouth and otherwise tries to keep her face passive."Yeah." Blake smushes her lips together, before continuing, her voice softer. "I guess, it's a little relieving to know that I was actually like 4th choice. Hurts a bit too." 

Weiss offers Blake a hand, and, potentially a shoulder to lean on.

Blake takes both.

 _"_ ~And you tell~ me~ Over and over and over again my friend," Cinder sings. "That you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction~" 

 

 

Afterwards Goodwitch comes up, to sing a song, a soft rock love song. 

 "Ooh, I need your love, babe, Guess you know it's true~" She sings. "Hope you need my love, babe, Just like I need you~" 

 

 

"Oh, that is _not_ fair dood," Cinder says, "You're trying to misuse the purpose of this soiree." 

Cinder swipes the microphone, "Well, two can play that game." She punches in a song- something gothic rock and fast-paced.  

"in the daylight, I'm your sweetheart~" she sings, "You’re goody-two-shoes prude is a work of art~"

 

 

 

And right after that, Goodwitch wordlessly takes the microphone and gets back on the stage. 

And it's all super awkward and reeeeaaaaally uncomfortable for everyone involved. 

Weiss actually kind of feels less out of place. She stifles a smile, and manages to enjoy Goodwitch's song. 

" You're an angel fallen down~. Won't you tell us of the clouds?~"

 

 

And right after Goodwitch finishes, she and Cinder glare at each other, lightning sparking between their eyeballs like anime rivals.

Then they both turn to Ruby. 

Ruby makes a smile. " Now at their feet submissive in distress, Creature so faire her reconcilement seeking." 

She holds out a hand, and takes the microphone. 

She types in her number, and some foreign words pop up on the screen in the 'song title' section. 

"oooo!" Jaune says, "I know this one!"

Ruby hands him mic 2, and begins singing some sort of avant-garde foreign 

 _" Wo ist eine kurze Nadel?~" _Ruby sings, with Jaune on backup, _" Auf Wiedersehen Bestrafungshügel~"_

 

 

 

It's weird and quirky, and does not do any-sort of thing to settle Cinder and Glynda's dispute. The two adults are still glaring when Ruby finishes her song. 

"Wait," Weiss says, as Ruby steps off the stage, "But _that_ wasn't a context-appropriate quote from  _Paradise Lost_." 

Ruby waves the air and smirks with the right half of her mouth. "The Urobochi version." 

Both cinder and Goodwitch had made space next to them, and they waited to see which one of them Ruby woudl walk back to sit besdies. 

Ruby makes a smile and she walks to her sister, to hide behind Yang's protective bulk. Yang laughs and ruffles her little sisters hair and hugs her with one arm. 

And then Yang stands up, a wide smile on her face. "Well, I think this is my cue to sing a song." 

Ruby makes a slightly terrified expression as she reaches out, desperately, towards her sister. Yang smiles good-naturedly at her.

Ruby catches some of the withering stares from her respective educators. She sinks into her cloak.

 

At the stage, Yang types in her song's number and she looks at the wall and rubs the back of her head. "So, uh. Well, here goes."

Yang sings a nice country-esque ballad. 

"You heard my voice,~" she begins, "I came out of the woods by choice~"

And at the end, Weiss aplauses, and everyone else does as well. 

Yang rubs the back of her head. "That's, uh, my favorite song, actually."

Nora smiles. "Thanks for singing that, Yang! It was really good!"

"Ahaha," Yang rubs her hair some more. "Thanks." 

Weiss gives her a covert thumbs up and clicks the left half of her mouth in a smile. 

Yang appreciates it. She clicks her mouth back and looks a little more at ease. 

 

 

Blake smiles at Weiss and stands up to sing her song.  

And it's nice- Apparently, Blake does remember the singing lessons, because she's really good. Weiss enjoys it. 

"~Cage me like an animal, A crown with gems and gold~," Blake sings, "Eat me like a cannibal, Chasing the neon throne- If I could only let go~" 

But, like, as it nears the end, Weiss is acutely aware that it's her turn next, as she's the only one who hasn't sung yet. Her head starts spinning, getting worse and worse as time goes on. 

After Blake finishes, and she accepts her applause, she makes her way back to the couches. 

Weiss stands up, and makes her way to the door, fumbling slightly with the doorknob.

"You Okay Weiss?" Yang asks.

Weiss waves the air. "Yeah, I'm fine, just, you know. Have to use the restroom." 

Weiss exits the room. It's a lot less stuffy, in the hall

She walks down towards where the restrooms are, but she stops, five steps down. She puts a hand on the wall and doubles over and she breaths, a deep breath. 

And she breathes another breath-

And one more time. Yep. 

Okay, actually, one more time after that.

And this one was just a normal breath, because you have to breath, like constantly. 

And Weiss stands up. Actually, shes a lot better now, and splashing some water on her face might not actually be necessary.

But it could take up more time. Give her another moment to compose herself, before she has to go back, and sing a song in front of everyone- 

Like, it shouldn't be a problem. She's sung in concert halls before. Only, this time, you can't just stare at the lights and ignore the crowd, and she actually knows the people in the audience-

"Are you okay?" Says a woman. It's Blake.

 Weiss flinches. "I- is it that obvious?" 

"Maybe only to someone who knows you," Blake says. "You're scared of people- and you put a brave face on, but, you are. And it's okay; people can be scary. Socializing can be scary."

"I- I mean," Weiss says. She winces. "I mean- it's really informal- everyone's really open, and honest, and they're making jokes- and nobody's pretending or anything-"

Weiss breaths. "And I want to be like that," she says. "But I don't know what I'm supposed to do. It's not a corporate party."

"And I really thought I'd get to be better at this,. But, like, i keep having doubts. Part of me wants to go in thrre and be social. And part or me really,vreally doesnt want to." Weiss says. 

"And, like, when I was younger, I was so much better at faking it. I actually started enjoying corporate balls and talking to politicians-"

Blake steps closer to her oldest friend. "That's not quite the same thing, though," Blake says, "Those were always pretty much literally hiding who you are. But _real_ socializing- you're not any worse at that now than you used to be. In fact, you've grown a lot. I'm honestly really proud of you." 

They hug. 

"But I haven't done anything, "Weiss says, "I haven't gotten better-" 

 "Weiss," Blake interrupts, "Remember last week, during our second date? And you almost called me a kitty, but corrected yourself?" 

Weiss grits her teeth. She does remember that, with shame. 

"The old you wouldn't have done that," Blake says. "And that's what I'm most impressed by. Not that you're suddenly perfect or anything, but that you're trying. And that counts for a lot." 

Weiss closes her eyes, then. "Thank you." 

Weiss stands there, in the hug. It's really nice. Blake is warm, and she smells like lilies and a grassy meadow and a little but like strawberry shampoo.

Blake steps back from the hug, but her hands rest on Weiss's hips. 

"Like, I thought it was a little uncomfortable in there, too," Blake says, "Maybe in a different way though."

Blake looks wistfully into the middle distance. "Like, Jaune and Pyrrha were cuddling, and Ren and Nora were always a couple." 

Blake sighs. "And, like, yeah, there's still some lingering resentment with Ruby, but I'm happy for her, I think. I try to be. She and her sister have always been close, like, and i guess it's cool that Ruby's popular enough that two adult women are fighting over who gets to get put on a registry for her-" 

"Oh, no," Weiss interjects, "While the etymologies are originally identical, 'Pedagogy' means 'the method of teaching'." 

"Yeah, I know," Blake says. 

Weiss blinks. 

Blake looks back to the wall. "And, like, I really want something like that too. Someone I can count on." 

"And, you've been working so hard, Weiss, to be a better person." 

Weiss makes a smile. 

"And, maybe from your perspective it's too gradual to notice, but you really have gotten better, Weiss," Blake smiles, warmly. "You're becoming someone amazing. Someone who's really empathetic and smart and self aware-"

"Someone I can see myself spending the rest of my life with, and not as a bodyguard or anything" Blake says, "As a- well, you know." 

Bllake leans her head down, tilting her head, parting her lips just slightly. 

"And, I've never been the best with words," Blake says, "But, um." 

And after a moment, Weiss presses her mouth to Blake's. 

And they smooch. 

 

 

Blake's lips are soft, and warm, but they belie a strength and force of will that's apparent in the way she nibbles at Weiss's upper lip, and how her hands clutch her waist and hip. 

And Wiess melts into the taller girls arms, and Blake holds her, there, for forever in a moment, as Weiss gets lost in the sensations. 

 

 

Eventually, the soft pop of a kiss release signals that the eternity has ended, and Blake takes a step back. 

And she blinks at Weiss with lidded eyes and a soft smile.

And Weiss can only stare back, for a good four seconds, before she manages to breath again. "Wow," Weiss says. "That-that was amazing, especially for my first kiss."

Blake blinks. "But that wasn't even  _our_ first kiss." 

"I mean, like, on the mouth. 

"That wasn't our first time kissing on the mouth, either. " Blake tilts her head to the side. "You don't remember?"

Weiss blinks. "Uh- I do not." 

Blake chuckles. "Huh. Well, it was a long time ago. Anyway, you want to go back?" Blake says. "I can sing backup for you- if you're down to sing. I don't think anyone would begrudge you if you were just an audience member, today." 

Weiss smiles. "Yeah." 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So since this fic is trying to be canon-divergent- and thus mostly canonical, except for things that butterflied out from Weiss adopting Blake and the exaggerations in the possible future-, and I highly doubt that those exact bands with those exact songs with those exact lyrics would exist in Remnant, so I'm going to have to declare this all non-canon.
> 
> Feel free to imagine, though, that karaoke did happen, and everyone sang the Remnant versions of those songs and they all had similar emotional associations with said songs. That's what I'm going to do, so that there is some sort of closure to that subplot and I can write something else for a while. 
> 
> If I wasn't set on Ruby's gimmick, she could have sung a Within Temptation song, since a lot of their songs seem like they'd fit right in with the RWBY soundtrack, and they're about angels and demons and shit. 
> 
> Watch Weiss's mother's name turn out to be eminently rhymable. I'm counting on it being something like 'Cordelia' or something. 
> 
> In keeping with the tradition of having chapters that end in '5' be ones that alienate subscribers, the next arc will be called 'Puberty', and be about pretty much what you expect from an arc named that.


	35. Puberty, pt 1: Busom Buddies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's kind of, but not quite, exactly what you'd expect, given the title.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I taught sex ed to college students at one point, so you'd think i'd know something about sex education, but mostly it just means I am aware of exactly how much I've internalized incomplete, non-universal or just plain incorrect notions about sex and gender. So I'm not trying to be wrong at any point here, but also don't trust anything you read.
> 
> Specifically, this is a fictional story set in a crack interpretation of a fantasy universe, so if you own a cat, don't take this as any sort of medical guide.

"No faaaiiiirrrr,” Weiss whined. She pouted and tucked her hands into her armpits. “How come Blake gets boobs before me?”

Blake kept her expression flat. She held her arms out as one of the maids wrapped a tape measure around parts of her torso. 

“Well,” said the tall maid, “We did have to guess her age, so maybe she's a little older than you?" 

"An 'bosom buddies' s'more supposed ta be taken in tha metaphorical sense."

Blake had, actually always assumed she was older than Weiss. Possibly by a decade. At least mentally, haha. 

Weiss only frowned in response. One of the maids wrote something down and started wrapping a tape measure around another part of Blake's torso.

"Well, Blake," Weiss said, "Now that you're getting measured, we can finally determine if you're alive or dead, kitty!" 

Blake blinked. The maids blinked. 

"But that also means we won't know anything about your momentum." 

"I don't think you can model Blake as a subatomic particle, m'lady." 

"Sure we can! Blakey's just an ion that's missing some electrons- aren't you Blakey?" 

Blake blinked. " _ **definitely.**_ " she deadpanned. " _ **i'm positive.**_ " 

Weiss winked. Then her face started beaming- maybe her hair floated a little, or her whole body did and her hair just did so as an extension of that, or maybe Blake just imagined it, blinded by how happy Weiss appeared to be. 

"Oh Blakey I love you!" Weiss jumped on Blake, bringing them both to the ground. She started smooching Blake's nose and eyes and forehead. "Mwah! Mwah mwah mwah! I'm so proud of you Blakey! Mwah mwah mwah!" 

Weiss hugged Blake on the ground, all over, and continued planting smooches on parts of Blake's head. Blake allowed it.

Eventually Weiss's enthusiasm waned. She hugged Blake's head and looked to the maids. "I taught her that pun, you see?" 

The maids nodded. "Makes sense. Can we finish measuring Blake now?" 

And Weiss jumped up, and she pulled Blake to her feet, and then Weiss looked up into Blake's eyes and frowned. “So Blake gets boobs first _and_ she's taller than me, too? _Extra_ no fair!” Weiss pouted. 

"Blake was always taller than you," said the gaunt maid, "You just didn't notice because you mostly interact with her when she's in a chair, or on the ground, or otherwise lying horizontally." 

"Maybe that's why she's taller than you. Lying around had allowed her spine to decompress, while in contrast, since you are always carrying her, your spine shrinks due to the weight."

Weiss stuck her tongue out. "That's not how that works. Also, I knew Blake was like a little taller than me since we met, but now she's, like, noticeably taller than me. Humph!"

Weiss walked up to Blake, at the front, right after the latest measurement was done and there was nobody there to screen Blake from the human girl. 

Weiss stood at about Blake's nose, when she went to check. 

Weiss looked up at Blake and smiled, her eye closed. “That’s okay. It just means Blake's big enough to ride!" 

 The tall maid smirked and unsuccessfully suppressed a snicker. “I think Blake might need a special harness before you can _ride_ her-” 

The stocky maid immediately jumped to knee the tall maid in the gut. The gaunt maid and the young maid jumped into the pile via different sorts of wrestling slam.

Once the cloud of dust settled, the three surviving maids brushed themselves off and started prepping for the next of Blake's measurment rituals. 

“Well, I don’t think I need anything to ride her," Weiss said.

Blake was about to ask what Weiss meant, but then Weiss circled around and jumped on Blake's back.

Blake’s legs immediately buckled. She strained for two heroic seconds before she fell down, on the ground, with Weiss on top of her, in a tangle of limbs. Blake's side ached, slightly.

“Blake noooo~” Weiss said. She rolled off of Blake and jumped up and helped the Faunus to her feet.

After Blake got up, refusing Weiss's offered hand, she frowned, and stood up in front of Weiss.

Blake tried to pick Weiss up, by the armpits. She failed to lift the human more than a few centimeters, after an embarrassing amount of straining. 

Blake circled around to try the easy way to pick someone up, by hugging them around the chest, from behind, and then leaning back. Blake managed to lift Weiss only a little higher before loosing all her stength. 

"Hee hee hee," Weiss said, "That's not how you lift people, silly Blakey." 

 _**"why can** _ **y** **ou** _**pick** _ **m** **e** _**up?"** _

“Tha Missus went and got a right workout from luggin' 'round 'er body weight, everywhere, all tha time, no ma'er wot, since ya got here, is wat I think," The young maid said. 

"More than her body weight, I think,” said the stocky maid. “Not that there's anything wrong with your weight, Blake- you will always be beautiful, if your heart is beautiful. And it is." 

The gaunt maid nodded. "You have a very excellent heart, from what I can tell." 

Blake looked down at her limbs and stomach. At least three times she could remember, she had told herself she would start trying to work out a little more, and maybe try to eat a little less, but all of those self-promises had fallen through pretty soon after.

There was a cough as the tall maid respawned and managed to stand up. "I- <cough> don't think you need to worry about being shorter or less voluptuous than Blake, my lady," said the tall maid, "because being strong superceeds being tall or curvy in terms of mate fitness, for a lot of people. And besides," The maid managed to wink through a swollen face, "That just means you get to carry Blake everywhere. Romantically."  

"Huh," Weiss said. She looked at the ceiling and thought, strenuously. "I guess that's right!" 

Weiss picked Blake up, shifting her into a bridal carry.

And then Weiss shifted her arms and grip, so she could hold Blake straight above her head, arms fully extended.

Blake blinked.

The stocky maid put a finger up. "That's, uh, not- not exactly a romantic carry-" 

"Ooh ooh, watch this," Weiss said, excitement in her voice.

Weiss tilted the appropriate arm so that Blake's body was no longer horizontal, with her head below the rest of her body. Blake splayed her arms out for balance, and she hissed, and as the blood started rushing to her head she could only feel hatred. 

"You're upside down, Blakey!" Weiss said. She turned to the maids. "Blakey _hates_ this!" Weiss giggled. 

Blake flailed around a bit more, ineffectually.

And then Weiss put Blake down.

And as soon as Blake regained her bearing, she hissed and jumped on her human, pinning Weiss down and relishing her tormentor's squeals of terror, or perhaps delight.  

Then Blake bit Weiss on the neck. 

"Ahhh! Blakey noooo," Weiss screamed. 

And after Blake was satisfied with her taste of Schnee flesh, she got up. She did not help Weiss up. 

But after Weiss did get up, Blake had a random impulse that totally didn't suggest anything more about the nature of their relationship. She circled around to Weiss's back and jumped on her. 

Weiss turned her head and smiled. “Oh, you want to ride me, Blake?" Weiss said. 

The tall maid managed a snicker, despite the still present mortal wounds and threats from the other maids.

Blake waited for Weiss to fall down under her weight. Surely she could only manage to lift Blake up for a moment, after that earlier display.

But Blake waited. And waited. 

And she waited even more.

Blake was starting to slide down. It hurt her chest a little, but she wasn’t going to show pain in front of Weiss.

Weiss put her hands behind her and grabbed Blake’s legs. She adjusted Blake on her back. “So, where'd you want me to take you, Blakey?” Weiss said. 

Blake blinked. Well, if Weiss really was that strong, Blake could take advantage of it. 

Blake pointed forward, to the hall. Weiss immediately barreled out the door and around the mansion. “Wheeee!” Weiss said, which was good, because Blake was able to say the same thing, except more quietly, and this way it’d be masked by the louder girl’s squeals of delight. 

(Behind them, one of the maids said, “Wait, we weren’t done-”, before fading out of earshot.) 

Blake pointed the requisite series of directions to the pantry. Weiss carried Blake there. With her added height, Blake grabbed a small bag of tuna snackies from a tall shelf and piled them in her arms. 

Blake then pointed the requisite series of directions to the boiler room, and the trash incinerator room, and the tower that faced the sun most of the day.

And for the rest of that afternoon, Weiss ran all throughout the mansion, with Blake on her back. Blake supposed it was 'fun'. 

Eventually, Blake got dizzy. Weiss seemed a little out of breath, and there was a little bit of sweat on her brow, but she wasn’t nearly as exhausted as Blake had hoped she would be.

“That was fun, Blakey!” Weiss said.

In the possible futures where Blake kept her new resolution to get in shape, Blake would start a muscle building regimen, in addition to her other training. The combat instructor insisted that the ninja way was the proper application of existing strength, rather than building up muscle, but Blake wanted at least to be able to pick Weiss up, so they could at least be equal that way.

But right after Blake made Weiss carry her all over the mansion, and right when it stopped being interesting to Blake, Weiss walked into the nearest guest room and flopped the two of them onto the bed. 

Blake realized that, on second look, Weiss was panting, and had worked up a bit of a sweat. She smelled saltier than usual.

Weiss crawled over to Blake's side and nuzzled Blake's neck. Blake allowed it. 

And they lay there, next to each other, just, existing together. 

Blake turned to her human. Weiss smiled at her.

Blake took Weiss's hands in her own, leading her human's arms to wrap around her waist.

"Oh, did you want a huggy, Blakey?" 

Blake blinked. She supposed she did. Huh. That was a weird thing to discover about herself. 

Blake turned to stare at the ceiling, and the inexplicable confusion and frustration must have shown on her face, because Weiss gasped and hugged her in a way she probably thougth was comforting.

"Don't be sad, Blakey! " Weiss said, "Soon I'll hit my growth spurt and get boobs of my own, so we can be bosom buddies, in a literal sense!" 

Blake blinked. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 -------------------- A POSSIBLE FUTURE ------------------------

 

 

Weiss finds herself in one of those funks again. She had been covertly sizing up the bust sizes of everyone around her, but like, in a not creepy way. And like, sure, she was happy with herself, on balance, but sometimes she wasn't, and today was one of those times. 

Yang was probably the most voluptuous of all the people Weiss regularly interacted with. And Yang was pretty built, too. Her workout was designed to build muscle mass but not exactly burn all her fat away, and apparently her mother had been particularly well-endowed, so she had genetics going for her. 

And Pyrrha had a very athletic build (wonder why, haha) but a combination of how she dressed and good genetics meant she filled out her amazonian warrior outfit pretty well, and Nora seemed to build muscle without worrying about building up fat, or maybe it was also good genetics that let her also fill out her armor.

And Velvet and her team-member (whom Weiss hadn't really interacted with all that much outside of complimenting each other's fashion sensibilities when they bumped into each other while in the process of interacting with Velvet) were like two years older than her, so that was also probably not a fair comparison. Velvet did look pretty good for someone whose diet consisted mostly of lettuce. Well, whose nutrition, regardless of how much she ate that was indigestible for her anatomy. Or maybe parts of the fat in raw steak got absorbed by her digestion? Hmmm, Weiss hadn't actually asked if that was something that could happen with Faunus. 

And Cinder and Glynda were well endowed too, but like, Ruby's educator friends were both like super old, and thus done growing so like, that wasn't a fair comparison.  

But knowing that cognitively doesn't' help Weiss's funk. But it's not like a huge funk, Weiss is sure it'll pass soon, but she supposes she can at least talk about it to a sympathetic friend.

 

 

 

Weiss sits down at the lunch table with the friend she can most relate to, at least right now. 

Jaune smiles and briefly stops playing with his dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets and the share greetings. 

"So Jaune," Weiss ventures, after a socially-acceptable amount of time has passed, "Do you wear a bra?" 

 Jaune blinks. "Well, um, no, because I don't need one."

"Okay." Weiss says. "I just figured that might be part of your wardrobe. 

"oh, no, it's okay," Jaune says. Then he inhales through the corner of his teeth. "Like, I got the impression that wearing a bra when you didn't need one was so you could feel a certain way, and that's for, like, prepubescent girls, or transwomen, or the intersection of the two. There's probably some other groups too that might like the mental associations of wearing women's underwear." 

"You wear women's panties, though." Weiss tilts her head, "Is that because your intention is that you flash people? I mean, the reason I know you wear women's panties is that you've ended up flashing people a non-zero amount of times." 

Jaune blushes. "I- I mean, i'm not  _trying_ to flash people, it's just a little inevitable, because of the kinds of skirts I like to wear, and the kind of physical activity I do at a school built around athletic pursuits." 

"See, that's why I have crinolines in my combat skirts," Weiss says, "It prevents that eventuality." 

"Hmmm...." Jaune shrugs, "Well, I don't wear a skirt when I'm fighting, and I had kind of thought that I wouldn't end up doing a lot of three-dimensional moving in regular class. Maybe that was a naive assumption though." 

To be fair, Beacon's regular education had been a lot more unconventional that Weiss had assumed it would be too. "So you're not intending to flash people. Why wear panties if, optimally, you would be the only person who knows?"

"Well, I would wear underwear anyway, so I figured, I'd wear the girl version. They're softer than guy underwear, too."

Weiss nods. "Okay, yeah." 

There's a few moments of wordless food-picking after the conversation had died out. 

"So if you don't mind me asking," Weiss says,  "Why do you crossdress?"

Jaune looks to the side and makes shrugging motions.  "I mean, it's all about wanting to look cute, because people treat you differently if you're cute. I think I've said as much before?" 

Weiss nods. "Well, yeah, but- you achieve that by wearing what is explicitly women's clothing?" 

Jaune's eyebrows flatten. "Yeah." He pontificates. "Because, see, despite how much people like Pyrrha and Cinder talk about the degendering of aesthetic norms, cuteness is still greatly inflected by gender. Like, a cute boy and a cute girl occupy vastly different places withing the overarching noosphere of 'cute', and thus provoke different reactions from others based on those associations. 

Jaune waves the air. "I'm sure the sexual and/or romantic implications make up a large part of it, and I know there's also different connotations between being a girl, a crossdressing boy, and an assigned-male-at-birth girl, and I'm probably evoking a cross section of reactions to one or more of them depending on the observer, but-" 

Jaune pontificates decisively, "But the point is, cute people- particularly femininely cute people- evoke positive attention across all points of interaction from most people. Like, cute people get away with a lot more, and people will just spontaneouslly help out or even give things to cute people, just because they're cute." 

Weiss recalls back to points in her life, mostly with a mixture of regret and introspection, and she nods. 

"And like," Jaune says. He slumps back in his chair. "I don't really have a lot going for me. I'm not good at fighting, or using my semblance, or manipulating dust, and I'm not particularly charismatic or persuasive, or very interesting as an individual, so at least I can be cute. I imagine a lot more people wouldn't like me if I wasn't cute."

Weiss opens her mouth to argue, but she finds she can't. Then she thinks of something. "Well, I mean, you _are_ cute, but you shouldn't seek existential fulfillment based on how much people like you." 

"But existentially," Jaune smirks, "What if I decide to pursue fulfillment based on much people people like me?"

Weiss decides not to get into a philosophical debate at this juncture. "So you're just, trying to leverage a social advantage? 

"Well, I also  _do_ enjoy being cute. _uwa~"_ Jaune gestures in a femininely-coded manner designed to elicit positive attention. 

Weiss smushes her mouth and nods. "I guess I was curious, if your gender identity doesn't play a role in why you do it, if your sexuality does?" 

"Weeellll, I mean, I don't  _dislike_ getting sexual and/or romantic attention from guys, " Jaune waves the air, "make that 'some guys', a lot of them are kind of creepy, pushy, and objectifying, but the point is, I'd like to think i'm open-minded enough that I'd consider a sexual relationship with the right guy. I mean, I think I feel the same way about girls, too- like, I like getting attention from charming and assertive women, but it'd kind of have to be the right woman for me to consider doing, like, romantic-type things - but the thing is, I don't really know how comfortable I am with going all the way with anyone." 

"But you flirted with those strangers when we went to the mall?" 

"Well, it's like, I enjoy getting attention for being cute, and sometimes I'll try to take opportunities when they arise, but that's not the primary reason I do it. And I try to temper how much I end up flirting, because I don't want to do anything further than just some light flirting and I don't want to give the wrong impression." 

"So you're just a massive tease," Weiss says.

Jaune points at her and smiles. "Yes, exactly!" 

Weiss waves the air. "I meant that, like, without the negative connotations of such-"

"No no, I got that from your inflection." 

"I'm not judging you or anything." 

Jaune scrunches his mouth. "I didn't assume you were. Until you said that." 

"No no, I mean it. I had a maid like- like that, and it was fine."

"Ooo-kay...."

"And I do think you're cute," Weiss says. She then looks to the wall and remembers that Jaune tried to confess to her, once, and maybe that telling him he was cute was sending the wrong message- 

" _uwa~_ Thanks!" Jaune says, and he seems to not take it the wrong way. 

And there's a few moments of wordless food-picking after that, but it's less awkward. Until Jaune opens his mouth again. 

"So, uh, Weiss," Jaune says, "Do  _you_ wear a bra?" 

"No," Weiss states. Her eyebrows flatten. "I don't need one."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 ------------- A MORE DISTANT, POSSIBLE FUTURE -----------------

 

 

 

"Mamma, Mamma," A young girl will say. She'll have white hair and two little Faunus ears atop her head, and she'll be growing up too fast. 

And Weiss will smile and pick her daughter up by the armpits to bring in for the warmest hug. "What is it, my sweet little snow cub?" 

"Um. Since I'm at that age where I'm becoming aware of myself and my body and stuff, I was wondering when my boobs would grow in, and how big they'll get?" 

"Well sweetie, its mostly a genetic factor. You were born with a combination of both your parent's genes, so how big they'll get and when exactly they'll start growing depends on which of a certain subset of genetic information that determines your secondary sexual characteristics you've ended up inheriting." 

"Oh," the girl will say. And she'll look into the distance and think for a little while.  

"I hope I get mostly Other Momma's genes, because I want to be able to wear cute bras!" 

And Weiss will smile and close her eyes and she'll tilt her head slightly. "Eat shit, sweetie." 

 

 

 

 -------------------- A POSSIBLE FUTURE ------------------------

 

"Boob envy?" Yang says. 

Weiss scrunchse her mouth to the side. "Yeah...." 

Yang bops the underside of her own left breast. "Like, you wish you had large breasts, or you want to, like, touch large breasts?" 

Weiss scrunches her mouth to the other side and considers her words. 

Yang chuckles. She holds her arms out. "Regardless, would a hug, at your level, help you out?" 

Weiss furrows her brow. "Yes, but not because you- you have, you know." 

Yang smirks, insufferably, "What if I  _don't_ know?" 

Weiss puts her wrist to her brow and sighs, theatrically. "Not because you have magnificent breasts, Yang," she deadpans. 

Yang laughs. "They _are_ pretty magnificent." 

They hug. 

Weiss hasn't really told Blake about her and Yang being platonic snuggle buddies, but Blake was a firm proponent of snuggles in all forms, probably. And it wasn't like it was a  _secret_ \- it just never really came up in the couple days since she and Blake started, like, smooching on the mouth, regularly. 

"So what's got you down about boobs?" Yang says. 

Weiss inhales through the side of her mouth. "You know, I thought about it a bit, and I think it's just that a lot of people in my life treated me like a child, and I mentally associated that with _looking_ like a child, until it became it's own hangup." 

"If it helps, I think your'e the most adult member of team RWBY," Yang says. "And probably team JNPR, too." 

"Thank you," Weiss says. "And I know that, consciously, and I know that it's kind of silly to put so much stock in that. But I still end up feeling a little inadequate, sometimes." 

Yang audibly inhales and exhales. (It makes her breasts jiggle, just a bit). "Well how are the boobs of other females in your family?" 

"My mom and my sister were reasonably well-endowed," Weiss still reflexively recoils from trying to think about her mother, "but I guess I get my boobs from the paternal side of my family. I'm told most of them have been pretty flat-chested." 

"Well, maybe there's a chance you'll hit a growth spurt yet. And you can always see a flesh tailor, if it really bothers you." 

"I mean, I don't think that's for me. No offense to people who for whom it is, but I think I just want to stop worrying about my breast size, rather than getting larger ones." 

 Yang nods. "Well, if you want, we can just continuously tell you you're awesome until you internalize it." 

"Heh heh. Maybe."  

 Yang redoubles her hug. She lifts Weiss off the ground for a second, during the hug. 

"So; you're awesome, Weiss!" Yang says, and there's a mischievous glint in her eyes, "So you don't have to be all  _melon_ cholic."

Weiss stifles her laugh. "Yeah, okay. I'll try not to be so _D_ -spondent and more _A_ -sertive." 

"Try not to make such a mountain out of a molehill." 

"You should know that's not quite my cup of tea." 

"I'll make sure to bust down my assumptions, then."

Weiss laughs out loud, then. "Are you done?" she asks.

"I think I can rack up a few more," Yang says. 

And Weiss reached critical pun threshold. 

 

 

 

\------------------- PRESENT DAY ------------------------

 

Blake was mewling about the mansion for Weiss's amusement one weekend when some of the maids found the two of them. A few of the maids distracted Weiss with something silly, and the tall maid and the young maid approached Blake. Blake followed them to another room. 

"So, Blake," said the tall maid, after the door closed and Weiss was out of earshot, "You're getting to be that age where you're becoming aware of yourself, your body, your budding sexuality and your conscious and subconscious gender performance, and how all that inflects every other aspect of your life-" 

Blake blinked. 

"We 'ere ta talk ta you 'bout pubterty," said the young maid. 

Blake blinked. Honestly, she was sort of curious, but she had figured maybe she could sneak into one of the offices and look it up on the information network or something. 

"And if you're wondering why us," said the young maid, who lifted a hairband to reveal some Faunus ears, "It's cause I'm equipped ta tell ya about coming of age as a Faunus. Mah memry's good and my oldest is going though the same thing, which means I get informational pamphlets from the school district. 

Blake blinked twice. _**"wait, how old are you?"**_

"Thirty-five," said the young maid. The maid did some sort of mushing motion around the face region. "I moisturize."

"So why are you working here, then?" asked the tall maid. That implied that Blake wasn't the only one who made that assumption, so Blake was glad.

"Cos' this is the only job I could get in this economy, " said the young maid, "And they let me do a stupid accent on the clock, so I can't complain." 

Blake blinked. 

"As for me," said the tall maid. "And I'm studying to be an endocrinologist. Also, I didn't want to miss out on any potential sex jokes-" 

The young (maybe that wasn't an accurate moniker? eh.) maid kneed the tall maid in the gut. "An' tha maid who wat went through puberty twice didn't feel like talkin' about it." 

Blake nodded.

"So, le's show ya tha presentation, then." 

 

 

 

 

Blake was brought into one of the mansion's conference rooms. Blake had wondered why there were conference rooms in a residential building, but then again, the adult Schnee's didn't really separate their work nand home lives. 

Blake was sat down in front of a projector screen. The lights dimmed and a noisy machine spat light through an old monochrome series of slides, casting shadows on the screen. 

The young made coughed, "So, since you're at tha age where your'e becoming aware of your body, bla bla bla," 

The young maid gave an overview of social changes common with the onset of puberty. Sepia slides with art-deco renditions of pubescent Faunus, dressed in clothing from three decades ago doing activities that had gone out of style four decades ago.

"So. In general, puberty is a time of changes and discovery. It is a time of coming of age mentally and biologically, but also socially, changing how you feel about what you look like and what other people look like." 

"You'll notice new things about other people- their bodies, and their actions, or things you'd always noticed will take on new meanings when inflected by your growth and maturity." 

"And puberty is a time of psychical changes as well!" exclaimed the maid, in time with an appropriate slide change. "In addition to growing taller and larger, your primary sexual characteristics will develop fully, your secondary sexual characteristics will become more defined, you'll grow some degree of hair on most of your body...." 

A few slides went by showing more and more medical diagrams, as the Young maid explained changes in secondary and tertiary sexual characteristics and behavior common to puberty. Blake kept a straight face. 

"If I can interject-" said the tall maid, "A lot of these changes cause a lot of people a degree of anxiety and other internal psychological distress. This is normal enough, and two popular ways of coping are- you can you can learn to accept yourself and your situation, or you can make changes so that you end up happy with your situation. Whatever works for you." 

The young maid nodded. "Lookit you, being useful." 

"Tch. This is an old presentation, half this stuff's been rethought, expanded, or debunked." 

The maids turned back to Blake. "Specifically, as a Faunus, upon reaching sexual maturity, you'll start experiencing your estrous cycle."

Blake smushed her mouth. But ninjas were immune to embarrassment, so she didn't blush. Nope. Not at all. 

"Feline-aspect Faunus are seasonally polyestrous, which means that, once you hit puberty, your gonads and secondary sexual organs will start maturing, and for several months during the year, you'll enter your Mating Cycle, and you'll go into estrus every several weeks during the duration of such."  

"During estrus, you'll exhibit sexually receptive behavior, which is colloquially known as going into 'heat'. This lasts 1-3 weeks or until you successful mate. If you do end up mating, you'll go into diestrus for 5-7 weeks, in which you will not exhibit sexually receptive behavior, and if you don't, you'll enter interestrus for about 1 week, after which you'll experience another estrous."

 _ **"um,"**_ Blake said, _**"'mate'?"**_

The tall maid slid into center stage, "Oooo- Let's talk about sex!" 

The tall maid coughed and adopted formal posture. "Sex, or 'mating' as is colloquially known by the Faunus youths and professional scientists- is any act of intimacy intimate in an erotically stimulating way between two or more consenting and actively participating individuals."

"Thas a really broad definition," said the young maid. 

"Yes!" The tall maid pointed, "I mean, personal definitions will vary, and you really only need to care about the definition that you and any of your partners determine, but personally, I consider both foreplay as well as psychological stimulation to be under the purview of 'sexual acts'."

"Also, minor correction on the last point, but biologically, you'll only enter one of the diestrus stages after orgasm, which is traditionally accomplished only through mating and traditionally is the goal of mating, though the broader preview of intimate erotic stimulation includes much more than just rushing to orgasm." 

"Oh! Orgasm is the discharge of accumulated sexual excitement, potentially accompanied by muscle spasms or bodily discharge, upon reaching a critical point of erotic stimulation. Basically, it's the point after which you suddenly lose interest in erotic stuff." 

The young maid titled a head and looked quizzical. "You don't have multiple consecutive orgasms?" 

The tall maid looked at the wall and sighed. "No...."

The young maid laughed, and then turned to Blake and waved the air. "Advanced stuff, don't worry 'bout it today."

Blake didn't think there was any danger of her worrying about that today. 

"But anyway," the tall maid smirked. "This means that if you get really into edging you can stay in heat longe-oof!" The young maid kneed the tall maid in the gut again. 

Blake didn't know what some of those words meant and there was no way she was going to ask. 

"Aaaand- I think that's it?" said the tall maid, "I'll interject if I need to." 

"Fer sooth," said the young maid. The slideshow continued. "Additionally, regardless of whether or not you're in estrous or in your mating cycle, you may experiences various psuedo-sexual proclivities. It is common to develop an inexplicable obsession with boxes-" 

"It was around your age that I myself developed an inexplicable obsession with 'boxes'-" 

The young maid kneed the tall maid in the gut. 

The young maid coughed. "This is a manifestion of your nesting instincts. A box is a pre-made nest, you see. You'll be drawn to make a small area to hide, sleep, and potentially mate in, preferably just a little larger than two members of your species and elevated off the ground to give a vantage point from predators."

" You may also find, from here on out, that you release endorphins upon the application of lateral pressure to your torso."

"Any of these instinct may have been present to varying degrees throughout your life, but during puberty they'll become more pronounced and take on a more sexual nature." 

The slideshow finished, and the tall maid hit the lights.  

"Any questions?" asked the young maid. 

Blake was pretty sure she would be content not learning any more about her body for the rest of her life. She managed to shake her head, slightly, at the ground. 

"Alright! One more thing I wanted to teach you," Said the tall maid, right before switching the slides in the projector with slides of a newer, less stylized and more provocative aesthetic. 

"Everything you need to know about BDSM, "began the tall maid, "So, there are three kingdoms of sadomasochism; physical, emotional, and power-play-"

_**"i already had this lecture."** _

The tall maid blinked. "What? From who?"

_**"tooth fairy."** _

The tall maid blinked again, before clenching both fists. "Really....." 

The tall maid paced around the room. "The tooth fairies _know_ that sex education falls under the domain of puberty fairy. This means  _war._ " 

The tall maid then adjourned from the conference room, muttering something about revenge and taking the case before some sort of administrative body. 

Blake, however, was dismissed, and she walked out of the room. She was quite proud of herself for having kept a neutral face through all of that. 

 

 

 

 

 

So right after, Blake went into her and Weiss's room. She pulled some extra blankets out of the closet and bunched up all the pillows and blankets and some big, warm coats from the dresser all onto the bed, and she arranged them in some sort of igloo type structure. 

Blake crawled around her finished nest in one last inspection. 

And once she determined her nest was finished, she crawled into it. The entrance brushed against her side and back in an inexplicably satisfying way. 

It was cozy, warm, with the perfect balance of light to be able to see by but not be annoying. The feeling of a low ceiling and close walls, made of warm, soft thing, was really comforting. 

And it was really, really cozy. That seemed to be important, and worth saying twice. Blake stretched out her arms and back and her legs - she had designed her nest to allow for that-  and she yawned. She rolled around in place and let the warmth and cozyness envelop her. 

There was one thing missing, though. 

 

 

 

 

Blake found Weiss and led her human by the hand back to her nest. 

"What is it, Blakey?" Weiss asked, during the journey, through her giggles. 

Blake opened the door to their room and led Weiss to the bed. 

"Hee hee, did you make this blanky fort, Blakey?" Weiss said. "I like it! It's a Blakey blanky Bastille." 

Blake released Weiss's hand and crawled onto the bed, in through to the entrance of the pillow-blanket structure. She turned around and held her hand out for Weiss to grab.

Weiss did so. "Hee hee, this is really cozy, Blakey! But how can you see in here?" 

Blake nested up against the far wall, and Weiss huddled in the remaining space. 

All she needed now was for Weiss to apply lateral pressure to her torso. 

And all she needed for that was- and Blake sighed internally with all her being at the thought of this- to make a pun. 

Blake inhaled.  _ **"Weiss."**_

Weiss flinched, but only slightly. She looked ecstatic. "What is it, Blakey?" She said. 

Blake took another breath. She glanced at the pillow walls, and then at the blanket floor, and then, after the second try, she made eye contact with her human.

_**"what's a cat's favorite multiverse theory?"** _

Weiss giggled. "Am I supposed to say," she said, "'String theory'?" 

Blake blinked. Shoot, that was supposed to be a rhetorical question, now Blake couldn't tell the punchline-

"Silly Blakey," Weiss said. She booped Blake's nose. "String theory isn't a multiverse theory, heeheehee." 

Blake blinked. She felt her cheeks ignite in what certainly wasn't embarrassment. And for a similar reason, she couldn't make eye contact 

Weiss pulled Blake's head in for a hug, as best she could inside the enclosed space. "It's okay kitty, it's a complex subject.  _I_ don't even make multiverse theory puns," Weiss said, "I just don't have the branes for it."  

Blake blinked. She coughed. 

Blake coughed again. She closed her eyes and held her hands up and braced, mentally and physically, for what she was about to say, and what it meant for her ongoing relationships with Weiss and for Blake's self-perception, that she was going to ask what she was going to ask. 

_**"can you hug me?"** _

"Oh Blakey!" Weiss said. She hugged Blake. "Of course! 

Weiss then applied lateral pressure to Blake's torso. She also rubbed her face on Blake's neck and back, and smooches the side of her head which may have been actions that were adjacent enough to lateral-torso-pressure-application that they also triggered the release of endorphins into her frontal cortex. It was nice.


	36. Puberty, pt 2: Where Babies Come From

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blake and Weiss are told where babies come from.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guarantee no expertise in make-up, intimacy, or puberty. Ahahahaha....

Blake had this puberty thing  _down._  

Like, this whole road to womanhood and being an adult? She was nailing it. Like a ninja. A cool, adult ninja. Or like, you know, a completely typical but also exceptional example of a Faunus woman. 

For example; Blake had she'd known about human facepaint for a while, and all the aristocrats used some degree of the stuff, and in some of Weiss's imagination games she ended up with make-up, so like, Blake knew how to put on makeups and stuff, like a completely typical but exceptional adult.

So today, while Weiss was preoccupied with something else, Blake had put on her warpaint and walked down the halls, to the dining room, with confidence.

"Oh," stated Mum Schnee, from behind her, at some point.

That sounded like the human was addressing her, so Blake turned and waited to be spoken to. 

Mum Schnee looked like she was trying not to laugh. So Blake tried to look like she was trying not to glower. 

"I see you got into- someone's makeup," said Mum Schnee, "You are aware that none of it is edible?"   

Blake blinked. 

Mum Schnee made a small laugh. Then she said, "Alternatively, If Weiss is playing rough enough to give you two black eyes, we really should have a talk with her about her behavior." 

" ** _are you done?_ " " **

 **"** One more," said Mum Schnee. She held up a finger. 

Blake figured she could allow it.

"If someone mistook you for one of our coal miners and dragged you into the coal shafts, you could have just mentioned my name and they'd let you go." 

Blake figured she shouldn't mention that she never actually learned Weiss's mother's name. 

"I actually came up with one more, just now," Mum Schnee said. 

Blake sighed, theatrically, but she allowed this one as well. 

"I thought you were feline-aspect Faunus, not procyonidae-aspect Faunus." 

Blake blinked.  ** _"comical."_**  

"Thank you," said Mum Schnee. She snapped her fingers. "Anyway...." 

Two maids appeared, with a chair and a small end table with a large box on it. 

And the maids escorted Blake to the chair. Mum Schnee opened the box and kneeled besides her. 

"Do try to pay attention to this lesson, Blake." 

Mum Schnee pulled a towelette out of the box and and rubbed some sort of gross sticky looking lotion on it. Blake tried to pull her face away but she was ultimately unsuccessfully in preventing mum Schnee from rubbing her eyelids and cheeks with the towelette, which became dirtied with the color of Blake's facepaints. 

"For your eyes, first, you'll want to apply eyeshadow." Mum Schnee gestured to a section of the paints in the box. 

"You should pick three complementary tones, one dark, one light, and one in between." 

Blake looked at the the selection of eyelid paints, and after a while, she pointed at three separate shades of bronze that she thought looked nice.

"Good choice," Mum Schnee said. She took three separate tiny sponges and started dabbing them into the three paint repositories. "These colors will bring out your eyes. I guess those color theory lessons stuck." 

Blake scrunched her mouth.

Mum Schnee gestured for Blake to tilt her head back. "You ought to apply the lightest shade to your lids to contrast with your eyelashes. The medium shade goes onto the crease of your eyelids, and the darkest shade under your eyebrows. 

After Mum Schnee applied the paints in the correct order to Blake's left eye, she pulled out a hand mirror. "Now, I'm fairly certain that cats pass the mirror self-recognition test...."

Blake glared.

Mum Schnee smirked, "Oh, don't you worry; Weiss didn't recognize herself in the mirror until she was six." 

Blake blinked. She tried not to smile, and she didn't ask if that was actually true (she didn't need to).

"But anyway, in case you didn't know already," Mum Schnee gestured to the mirror, "The Faunus that appears in the mirror is actually you, only reflected horizontally." 

Blake made a face.

"So why don't you use this mirror to try to apply eye-shadow to your right eye?"

Blake did, and she did so pretty decently- it wasn't that hard. Except maybe she'd have to practice the part where she made the colors fade into each other. Mum Schnee observed Blake with an impassive face. It was an expression Blake could approve of. 

"So," Mum Schnee said, as she pulled out several black sticks, "There are three types of eyeliner; liquid, gel and pencil, with gel and liquid occupying most of the same use space and differing mostly in their resistance to moisture." 

Mum Schnee pontificated with one of the eyeliner sticks. "Your wings should be at an angle tangent to your lower eyelash line," said the human. She put the paint stick at her face, to demonstrate. "You'll want to draw the outline in liquid or gel and fill it in with pencil."  

Mum Schnee didn't perform an example for this section, so Blake had to draw the black lines on her face herself. She did her wings satisfactorily, probably. Filling in the corner bits was pretty straightforward too.  

But Blake was- 

Blake was much, much worse at trying to draw on the edges of her eyelids- she kept blinking, which messed up the application on the lids, and even with her ninja reflexes and precision she was a little- almost not at all, really, but a little- afraid of poking herself in the eye. 

"Try to do it in one long stroke," Mum Schnee suggested.

That suggestion didn't help, not really.

Mum Schnee adjusted Blake's hand which held the mirror. " And if you're having trouble getting the edges of your eyelids, try looking down into the mirror, like it's a foolish peasant that dared get their blood on you when you slaughtered their children for their insolence." 

That suggestion did help, really, but not enough for Blake to perform satisfactory with her make-up application. 

After Blake's third failed attempt, Mum Schnee reclaimed the eyeliner pencil from Blake's hand, and then the woman squirted some lotion onto another towelette and dabbed at Blake's eye. She re-applied Blake's eye-shadow, real quick, because some of it had also been smudged off. 

"Perhaps you will learn better if you see a demonstration," Mum Schnee said. 

And she did Blake's makeup. Blake didn't know if she should be avoiding eye-contact or not- so she did about half-and-half. It was awkward. 

But after what felt like a long time but was probably only just a moment, Mum Schnee finished, and handed Blake the hand mirror. 

Blake stared into the mirror as the human did some sort of optical illusion artistry stuff to make her eye look, like, super big, now. It was pretty metal. 

After Mum Schnee finished, Blake grabbed opposite sides of the mirror and pulled it closer, moving it and tilting it to examine her new appearance.

"If the lesson stuck with you," Mum Schnee said. she waved her hand. "Off chance, I know. But if it did, why don't you do your other eye?" 

So Blake did. She wanted to have this look be repeatable, without outside help. 

 

 

 

Some time later, Blake's left eye also looked, like, super big and stuff. Her eye-adjacent hairs were long and fluffy and the paints on her eyelid made her eyes stand out. 

 If Blake didn't know better, she would have thought mum Schnee looked like she approved.

Mum Schnee then pulled out a separate set of paints. 

"I recently looked into make-up composition and techniques for Faunus skin tones," Mum Schnee stated. If Blake didn't know better, she would have thought the woman's cheeks had tinted, just a bit. 

Blake blinked.

"Don't get the wrong idea." Mum Schnee glanced at the wall, briefly, "It just so happened to be featured in a beauty magazine I just so happened to be reading." 

**_"you read beauty magazines?"_ **

"Yes," Mum Schnee stated, against all evidence to the contrary. Not that Blake meant that Weiss's mother didn't look entirely unconcerned with her aesthetic presentation, it was just, from what Blake had thought she knew of the woman, Blake would have assumed Mum Schnee wouldn't buy into to a corporation's mass-produced beauty standards designed to shift the ideals of external beauty in such a way that benefited them financially. Mum Schnee seemed above all that, and too independent to allow some collection of marketing to externally define her standards of beauty. Just like Blake. 

Blake blinked. 

"Silence," said Mum Schnee. 

Blake blinked again, though she refreshed her poker face. 

Mum Schnee coughed. "So we first need to know whether or not you have a cool or warm or neutral skin tone," she said. 

Blake blinked. She didn't know what those words meant in that order. 

Blake continued to blink as Mum Schnee held various colored paints up to Blake's cheek and explained how she discerned that Blake had warm skin tones (Blake was pleased; she enjoyed being warm), and thus that she should try for certain shades of blush.

"It is fortuitous," Mum Schnee said, "Since warmer hues will also compliment your eyes. But I get ahead of myself; go ahead and put on your foundation and blush." 

As per the woman's instructions, Blake used a weird brush thing to smear some powder that that turned into a film-like substance, over some of the parts of her face that were discolored due to acne, and then a similar-looking powder the color of her skin to normalize pigmentation or depressions in areas of her face, and then a yellowish paint around her cheeks that made her face look, maybe, fuller. It was pretty cool, overall.

 

 

 

 

 And after Blake's war paint was finished being applied, completely, she took the mirror again.

She looked preeeeety friggen sweet. She tilted the mirror and her face, as she admired the facepaints from different angles. 

Mum Schnee was silent as she packed up all the paints into their box and then handed the container to Blake. 

"You go ahead and keep this," Mum Schnee said. She stood up, and she snapped her fingers, and some maids appeared and took the chairs and table away.  

Mum Schnee began to walk away.

" _ **um,**_ " Blake said.

Mum Schnee turned to her.  

Blake coughed. 

Mum Schnee blinked. 

Blake fidgeted. 

Mum Schnee blinked again. 

Blake sighed.

Mum Schnee turned to leave.

But then Blake found something to say.

_**"weiss will appreciate this."** _

Mum Schnee paused and tilted her head back, each very briefly. Blake could see a hint of a smile. "I'm sure she will."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Weiss emitted, the next time she saw Blake. She actually saw Blake first, so Blake flinched, wildly, as she was tackle-hugged by a young human girl, screeching and vibrating in non-euclidian directions. "ARRGHGGBHTHYUHJFgy27yuhfeyg2y8o809prwojf;vdnklbjskgushoifdspuao;lemknsljk

//-----------------------

\-----------------------

\------------------------//

 

 

Blake flinched. 

"YOU'RE SO CUTE BLAKEY!!!!" Weiss wailed, echoingly, as she jumped on top of her, in some kind of smothering, enveloping hug.

Blake tried, unsuccessfully, to keep Weiss from smudging her make-up.

 

 

 --- A POSSIBLE FUTURE ---

 

 

It is a couple days after Weiss and Blake had started officially dating. Their relationship had become- well, Weiss had taken her oldest friend out twice, and they'd snuggled during the afternoons, and they ate meals together, so, whatever that was, that was what their relationship had become. 

And they had talked. Like, really talked. About everything- serious issue's their own persona concerns about their identities, and personalities, their futures and their pasts. They shared quiet laughs and heartfelt tears and the reminisced about their memories, from their childhood home and since attending beacon.

And they had talked about what they each were expecting out of this whole thing; what a 'relationship' meant, to each of them, and what they expect from each other now and in the future. 

Weiss tries to take care not to settle into any negative aspects of their old routine. She trys to be as considerate of Blake's feelings and wants and needs as possible. Like, if it's a new start, then it's also a new opportunity to try to reframe mixed experiences as positive ones. 

It was also an opportunity to try new things. New-ish. Or, like, a new spin on something that had happened before.

Weiss counted it as new, though since even though they had been intimate in the technical sense, they had never gotten, well, _intimate,_ in the, like, you know sense.

 

 

"Do you want to, maybe, play together?" Blake says, one day, and there is an emphasis was on the word 'play'.

Weiss knows what she means. 

So they make some quick preparations. They each shower, and Weiss informs Yang and Ruby that she and Blake will need some privacy in their dorm, for a while.

Yang congratulates her. Ruby is a little insufferably happy for her, with sly eyes and grim intonations obliquely referencing sin and carnal knowledge. 

Weiss doesn't let it get to her. Actually, in her new understanding of her combat partner, she considers it a show of support. Or something close enough to support.

 

 

Blake had been in charge of setting up the room, so Weiss is a little surprised at what the room looks like; the lights are dimmed and the curtains drawn, and there are some flower petals strewn about.

And Blake is dressed up all fancy- a sheer skirt and tall socks and a tight blouse, that shows off her breasts. She is sitting at her desk with her computer, her legs crossed. She looks authoritative. It's pretty sexy. 

"Aw, Weiss," Blake soothes, "Did you want to get dressed up too?" 

Weiss does, so she opens the door to the closet, so Blake can't see- it's part of the game, a little surprise- and the human changes into a cream-colored babydoll with frills around the skirt portion and a bow set between her breasts, with the skirt cut at her navel, asymmetrically, in a way that shows off her panties. 

Blake beckons over with her hand, and Weiss kneels at her master's chair. She tilts her head down and lets Blake stroke her hair. 

"Do you want to be my pet human for the night?" Blake asks in a soothing voice, as if they hadn't gone over their expectations before hand. 

Weiss nods. The game is that she is too embarrassed to speak, and she doesn't' really need to use her theater skills to give that impression.

Blake stands and picks up the collar on her desk and walks up to put the collar on, fumbling only a little. 

Weiss glances down, to avoid eye contact, and also to admire Blake's cleavage.

After the collar is affixed (it's a little too snug, which is just how Weiss likes it), Blake hooks a thin black leash to a ring in the collar, the end of which she keeps in her lap.

Blake sits back don at her desk, and gestures to the floor besides her. Weiss sits there.

Blake pulls out some rectangles and a small cardboard cup with a plastic lid. 

"I got you some nice spreadsheets to play with, and a nice triple venti pumpkin spice latte for you to snack upon."

Weiss accepts both, and she doesn't correct Blake about the specifics of the coffee- it's still reasonably tasty, and Blake's passive contempt for the trappings of humanity is part of the game. 

So Weiss sits on the floor at her master's feet, while Blake does homework or something, above her. (It's not Weiss's place to ask what specifically her master is doing, but out of character, Weiss understand that Blake's a little behind on Grimm History.)

Weiss has fun finding out the mean and standard deviation of her spreadsheets, and doing some analysis on the correlations between the different independent variables in the data. 

And after a while, almost as Weiss is getting a little bored (though she figures, maybe, she'd have to beg Blake to play with her, and that'd be fun), Blake tugs on Weiss's leash, to get her attention. Weiss perks her head up. 

"Do you want to come to bed, my pet?"

Weiss smiles, and she nods, three times, real fast. 

Blake walks over first, leading Weiss by the leash, though Weiss doesn't join her master on the bed until Blake finishes fluffing up a pillow (for herself, not for Weiss) and gestures for Weiss to come join her.

Weiss crawls up, from the far side, ending ending up with her head on Blake's lap. 

Blake pets her head, gently at first, but eventually she's running her hand's down Weiss's body, rubbing Weiss's neck and shoulders and lower back and- and she cups Weises face, leading her pet human upwards, so Blake can nip at Weiss's neck.

A soft moan escapes Weiss's lips, and she can't contain herself any longer; shes starts smooching Blake as much as she can- first, with a smooch on Blake's forehead, and another on her eye- which Blake closed in anticipation- and then on her nose, with an old sound-effect that makes Blake chuckle, just a bit. 

And, face-to-face, with intermitent eye contact, Weiss leans in, for a smooch at the lips- 

Only to pause, a half inch between them. 

After a long moment, Blake closes the distance

And Weiss smooches her master again, on the mouth, and then at Blake's cheek-

And then down her neck, and at her collarbone, and above Blake's cleavage, at the edge of her exposed skin. 

Weiss leans back. "May I undress you, master?"

Blake glares. "You presume too much."

Weiss shirks. "I- Yes master. Sorry master."

"Though perhaps," Blake soothes, "If you beg...."

Weiss gulps. She breaths. 

"P-please, master-"

Blake frowns. "No no, not  _that_ way." 

Weiss gulps again, and her cheeks flush just a little as she lowers her head and paws at the air, and she emits a high-pitched whine.  

Blake inhales, sharply, and after a few moments of Weiss's begging, Blake smiles.  

"Aw, I can't say no to you, my little cutie~" Blake says, as she strokes Weiss's chin.

Weiss smiles and exhales

Then Blake stretches her left leg. "You can start with my socks." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 --- PRESENT DAY ---

 

Blake awoke.  

And she felt cold. It too k her a moment to realize that that was because Weiss wasn't hugging her. 

She deduced that Weiss hadn't been hugging her for a while. 

Blake sat up, and looked around-

And Weiss was there, just, on the armchair in their room.

She was brushing her hair. Her hair was wet.

“H-hey, Blakey,” Weiss said. She made a smile. "Good morning." 

Blake blinked. 

Blake rolled over and spread her limbs out. Usually, Weiss would come hug her when she did this. 

"Heehee, you're so cute, Blakey!" Weiss exclaimed. But she didn't stand up or do anything to acknowledge Blake's body.  

Blake blinked. 

"C'mon," Weiss waved, at some point "Lets go get breakfast." 

 

 

 

 

 

Blake had known how to walk ever since she could remember (Despite what Blake was certain Weiss believed), and she wasn't, like, put off by having to walk down to the dining room- but it still  _felt_ a little strange walking down to breakfast, since it had been a while since she actually had to, since Weiss usually carried her there. 

Once they got to breakfast, Weiss sat down, next to Blake, as per their usual arrangement, but when it came time to share food, Weiss didn't find an excuse to hug Blake, or grab Blake's hands to prevent Blake from stealing back a few breakfast meats, or otherwise attempt to be in physical contact with her. 

 

 

 

 

 

And Weiss was similarly non-tactile during their knowledge training, but since they sat apart from each other, that didn't stand out as noticeable. 

 

 

What _was_ noticeable was that Weiss really, really avoided contact during their weapon training. Like, they had individual practice for half of it, but whenever they practice sparred Weiss would always find some way to turn a faint into a tackle, or a , or she'd sneak behind Blake and jump on her and pin her down in a body hold. 

 

 

Dinner was very much like breakfast, though the presence of the adult Schnees at the table usually meant that Weiss was more tempered in her affection, so like, if it hadn't been for the other data points, Blake might had not even noticed. 

 

 

And what was really, really weird was that Weiss didn't attempt to drag Blake into the bathroom for her daily washing. 

Blake laid down on the bed, having unbuttoned the top of her shirt so that Weiss could more easily remove it for bath time. 

"Um, Blakey," Weiss said. She shifted where the stood. 

Blake turned her head. She blinked.

"Um. Do you think you could take your bath yourself, today?" 

Blake blinked.

She knew the motions for taking a bath, yes, but like, why would she ever, willingly cover herself in water? Did Weiss know her at all?

Aloud, though, she only said, _**"okay."** _

 

 

Blake stepped into the large, fancy, well lit bathrrom. She glanced at the golden facet handles in contemplation.

Today was an opportunity, then, to skip baths. Finally. That was so awesome. 

Not that Blake had gotten used to baths or anything. Water was still the grossest thing. Like, it was, just,  _super_ gross. Blech. 

Blake filled the tub, careful to not let any of the water splash on her. Weiss would hear it filling, and assume Blake took her bath.

Though, it might look suspicious if she walked out completely dry.

So she just washed her hair, a little. 

And then she figured maybe she should wash her face, since she'd started getting some of this acne thing and she didn't like it at all, and apparently it was because of her skin reacting to dirt and stuff on it. 

And then, she figured she'd just jump into the tub, real quick, and then jump out, so that at least the water would wash some of the sweat and dirt accumulation away (Blake was willing to admit that, perhaps, she had grown accustomed to not having dirt on her body. Things just felt nicer that way.) 

Though, for some reason, Blake didn't feel as clean as when Weiss bathed her. It was probably fine, and on the plus side, she had spent a lot less time in contact with gross water.

Blake did, however, completely skip all of her dental hygiene. Weiss probably wouldn't notice that, she figured. 

 

 

 

Blake left the bathroom, with her hair still wet, dripping onto her pajamas and parts of the carpet, and she sat down, on the armchair in their room, and she held the brush out, to Weiss, expectantly. 

"Oh! Um..." Weiss said. "Y-yeah, I can brush your hair, Blakey....

And Weiss brushed Blake's hair, like always, except, she didn't ruffle Blake's hair, or rub her face against Blake's hair, or otherwise make contact with her. Blake tried not to worry too much.  

 

 

 

And when Weiss went into the bathroom to take her own shower, Blake crawled onto their bed and arranged the blankets into a nest and fluffed up the pillows and she lay down on their bed, waiting for her human. 

She and Weiss had come to an arrangement, recently, in that Weiss would rub Blake’s sides and stomach, to induce the release of endorphin into Blake's frontal cortex, and in return Blake would let Weiss snuggle her. 

 

 

When Weiss exited the shower, brushing her hair, in her own pajamas, Blake lifted her head and tried to look at least somewhat enthusiastic. 

“So, um,” Weiss said. “You can have the bed tonight, if you want." 

Blake blinked.

Weiss opened the room's closet and pulled out the giant basket from waaay back, like the first week Blake had arrived. 

“I’ll take your basket," Weiss said, "Since I figure it wouldn't be too comfortable for you to suddenly switch sleeping arrangements..." 

Blake blinked in bewilderment, but she agreed. 

 

 

 

Blake lay back onto her pillow. Then, alone, without anyone hugging her- alone for the first time in a long, long while- Blake drifted off to sleep. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blake awoke. It was the middle of the night.

And it might have been a little cold. Like, Weiss may have had inherited the ability to not be bothered by the cold, but, as far as Blake’s scientific observations went, Schnees still produced body heat (though not as much as other humans, or Faunus), and in an insulating cocoon of blankets, with Blake's help, throughout the night, the heat added up and saturated the bedding, into a nice warm burrow. Now, it seemed that Blake's body heat was insufficient to reach prior levels of warmth. 

And Blake may have gotten used to being hugged, while she slept. So maybe it was weird trying to sleep without Weiss's arms around her. 

But Blake figured it was mostly the temperature thing. She didn't miss Weiss at all or anything.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And all of that- all that latent loneliness- that happened again the following day. Blake awoke, and Weiss never hugged her, and they walked to breakfast, side by side, without Weiss carrying her. 

And during breakfast, Weiss took her portion of Blake's food without getting into some sort of wrestling match, even when Blake tried to pretend she wanted to. 

And during lessons and training, Weiss smiled a lot, but never hugged Blake. 

And Blake was, patently, beginning to notice how tiring it was to have to walk everywhere, without being carried. 

 

 

Internally, Blake was betting on when Weiss would break down and hug her. 

and like, Blake was happy (usually) to provide her human with- with whatever it was Weiss got out of hugging her- so like, Weiss should just hurry up and do it already. Even if Blake didn't exactly like it or whatever, it was weird that Weiss would suddenly  _stop_ hugging her, one day, without any explanation. 

 

 

So Blake decided to force the issue. For the first time in her life, she initiated a hug with Weiss. Or she tried to, at least. 

Blake waited until Weiss wasn't looking, then she pounced. 

“hrk-” Weiss emitted, in Blake's hug. She pushed Blake away, in what felt like reflex.

Blake stepped back, afraid that she'd down something wrong-

Weiss's mouth was curved into a wobbly frown and her face was red and she was shaking, slightly, "I- um." 

And then Weiss ran away. 

Blake frowned; that was  _her_ move. 

 

 

 

 

 

And after the human was absent from dinner, Blake decided to track down Mum Schnee. It was, possibly, an opportunity to maybe work Weiss into the topic of conversaiton (That shouldn't be had, since Weiss was basically the only commonality between Blake and Mum Schnee, so Weiss was, like, the one thing they could maybe talk to each other about, if Blake ever decided to talk) 

So when Blake found the door to the Master Bedroom ajar, she stepped in. 

Mum Schnee was directing the packing of what looked like an overnight bag, which was splayed out on her bed. 

 _ **"you're leaving?"**_ Blake said. 

"Briefly. It is a holiday season," said Mum Schnee, "But Schnees don't celebrate holidays except as an opportunity. While lesser people and corporations- but I repeat myself- take time off, we leverage the time to make deals and corner markets otherwise unpursued." 

Blake blinked. 

"So yes, Blake, I will be leaving this weekend, but it will not be for any semblance of vacation," Mum Schnee said, "My partner and what staff are desperate enough for holiday overtime will hold down the fort here, Weiss's instructors are all graduate students, so they cannot afford to take time off." 

"And of course," Mum Schnee scrunched her mouth, and glanced at the wall, "You will here, to keep the family safe." 

Blake- blinked? 

**_"oh. thanks?"_ **

Mum Schnee scrunched her mouth to the side. "No, I was thanking _you._  Perhaps you misunderstood." 

Blake blinked. 

Mum Schnee blinked. She turned away. 

The bags had finished being packed, by that point. Mum Schnee stood up, as a few maids marched out of the room, with her luggage in tow.

Mum Schnee paused and she turned, to Blake, and she held out a hand. 

Blake blinked, at Mum Schnee's hand, and she she held out her own. They bumped hands, and they parted ways. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, it wasn't, like, Blake really needed Mum Schnee's advice, like, this instant. 

She'd be fine, at least until the adult came back. And like, she was sort of 

The quickest thing would, just, be to ask Weiss why she no longer liked physical contact. 

Like, what were the possible results? Like, what changed for Weiss (Blake was pretty sure she herself hadn't changed too much, except for the whole puberty thing) that made her not want to hug her=

And Blake's body froze, her mind gripped by a deep, existential dread, and a hollowness in her gut that gnawed into her diaphragm. 

Because, maybe-

Possibly-

It was that Weiss didn't love her anymore? 

What- what if- 

What if that was true? What would that mean-

And then Blake's fears boiled over. 

She ran though the mansion, until she found Weiss, in their room (the obvious place, in retrospect). 

Blake slammed open the door-

"O-oh!" Weiss said. She sat up in their bed. "H-hey, Blakey-"

 _ **"weiss,"**_ Blake intoned, sounding a little more sad and desperate than she intended to.  

Weiss smiled and turned to her, but she clasped her hands behind her back, like she was trying to keep them back. "What is it, Blakey?" 

Blake opened her mouth, and then she closed her mouth. Blake took a big breath. 

Blake got onto the bed, next to Weiss. 

Weiss squeaked. 

Blake crawled up to Weiss, pushing the human back on the bed, and Blake crawled above her, arms on either side of Weiss's shoulders. 

Weiss squeaked and her body froze, and she stared at Blake's face.

And after a moment, Blake leaned in for a nuzzle-

And Weiss rolled away from Blake, all the way off the bed. She stood up, stiffly, and she brushed herself off and she coughed. 

The gnawing in Blake's gut intensified. 

 _ **"weiss~"**_ Blake said, and it was much less cool and resounding as she would have hoped. Like, maybe it sounded a little desperate.

 _ **"don't-"**_   Blake swallowed, and her eyes started getting itchy for some reason. 

_**"don't you love me anymore?"** _

Weiss bit her hand, and her eyes widened and watered and wobbled. "Oh, Blakey~!" Weiss said, 

And she held her arms out, but she held the back. 

"Of course I still love you." Weiss said. 

Blake's nose was a little clogged, so she rubbed it. Her vision was blurry, so she rubbed her eyes. 

**_"then- why...."_**

"Oh, you mean the hugging? I-it's not you," Weiss said, "It's- it's something I'm dealing with....

Blake blinked. 

_**"can i help?"** _

"N-no," Weiss said. She refreshed her smile. "It's- it's just something with- with my body-"

And then Blake smelled something that corroborated Weiss's statement

Blake got up and sniffed at Weiss's neck, and then at Weiss's collarbone, and then her torso- 

_**"are you bleeding-"**_

"OH MY DUST, BLAKE!" Weiss exclaimed, and she hit Blake with a pillow. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So like, if Weiss's situation was some sort of health issue, Blake couldn't, just, leave the situation at that. 

So Blake found the remaining adult Schnee, and she relayed her discovery, and her concern. 

And he kept a straight face, as Blake tried to explain, and he thanked Blake, after she was done, and he summoned the maids who had opted to work today for holiday overtime. 

Blake eavesdropped outside the door, but not, like, because she was concerned or anything. 

"So it appears that Weiss has- has hit a developmental milestone,"  said Pa Schnee ,"So I'm going to need one of you three to explain the changes to her endocrine system as a result of puberty." 

"Oh, um," came the voice of one of the maids, "I'm actually a Faunus. We have seasonal estrous cycles rather than monthly menstrual ones-"

"Okay, fine," Pa Schnee said, "How about you?" 

"Well, I'm trans, so I wouldn't experience cyclical hormonal changes that prompt a menstrual cycle," came the voice of another one of the maids. 

"They didn't teach you that in, like, girl school?" 

"Is that a thing? Where do I sign up?"

"Alright, fair enough, so that leaves-" 

"Ah, actually, I'm a guy, I just like cross-dressing," came the voice of the third maid, "So, like, similar deal as her, except I'd have no personal reason to actually learn about it..." 

"So what you're saying is," he said and his voice trembled, "That none of you can inform my daughter that, as a part of puberty, she'll occasionally experience discharges of blood and mucousal tissue as her uterine lining is shed?"

"I'm afraid not, sir."

"Sorry, sir."  

"Okay," came Pa Schnee's voice, weakly. He sighed. "Let- let me call my wife...."  

 

 

 

 

And Blake eavesdropped over Pa Schnee's phone call with Mum Schnee. That felt a little more like an invasion of privacy, even though Blake couldn't hear what mum Schnee was saying. 

 "Okay," said Pa Schnee, "I'll try my best."

 

 

 

 

Pa Schnee emerged from the room, appearing defeated by something. 

Blake flinched, since she hadn't moved from her eavesdropping spot. The adult didn't seem surprised though. 

"Is Weiss in your room?" he asked, without looking at her. 

Blake blinked. She figured it was likely true. 

"Okay." He started walking towards there. Blake followed. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blake entered her and Weiss's bedroom first. It didn't have a lock, so she just walked in-

"O-oh!" Weiss said. She sat up in their bed. "H-hey, Blakey-"

Blake mushed her mouth together, and she waited for the knock at the door.

It came about a half-minute later. "May I come in?" Pa Schnee said.

"Yeah," Weiss said. "What's up?"  

And when Pa Schnee entered thee room, he was visibly sweating, with a forced smile on his face. He took a seat in the armchair, at the edge. 

"So, Weiss," said Pa Schnee. "Blake informs me you're experiencing some, ah, personal changes...."

Weiss glared at Blake. Blake looked at the wall. 

Pa Schnee took a breath. "Your mother will be home tomorrow, to walk you through some of the changes to your body, but in the meantime," Pa Schnee said, "I think it would be prudent to inform you- and Blake- of where babies come from."

Weiss winked. Her face was impassive.  

Blake pretended she wasn't curious. 

"So," Pa Schnee pontificated, "When two consenting adults of legal age decide they want to continue their lineage," he said, "They each draw a DNA sample into clean, sterilized vials."

Blake blinked. _**"wait, really?"**_

"Yes. Historically it has been blood, but with recent technological advances things like hair or flakes of skin are accepted as well." 

Weiss nodded. Blake blinked.

"Then they call a Stork; a dark witch of the blasphemous flock, who collects the samples and a small fee and takes them to the Baby Factory, where a vile ritual of ancient blasphemies uses Dust and magic to imbue the samples with life, and an Aura, wretched, screaming, from the ether, into a wriggling flesh pupae. Because creating life is the first blasphemy, and the weight of such an affront curses all those 

"So _that's_ why babies are born full of sin," Weiss said.

"Precisely; it's actually not until around three years of age that a child has burned away the residual hideous taint of its parent's sin, to the point where it can be considered self-aware." 

Weiss nodded. 

"And Faunus come from improperly formed rituals," said Pa Schnee, "Where the essence of Grimm contaminates the pupae, causing animal aspects to appear in the child, after birth." 

Blake blinked.

"But anyway; after the quivering fleshling is formed, the most traditionally feminine parent allows it to burrow into their abdomen where it forms a noisome cocoon next to the parent's stomach, where it leaches nutrients from the gestational parent's digestive tract to feed itself over nine somber months of feeding."

"And once the pupae outgrows its host, we call the Stork, again, in the capacity if a midwife, to complete the childbirth ritual, and cut free the parasitic protohuman, screaming all the while. (Your mother can show you her cesarean scars, if you ask her)."

Blake kind of wanted to see that.

"Huh," Weiss said, "Makes sense."

"And the stork cleans the newborn infant, caked in blood and discarded flesh, and a flesh tailor (who is often also the Stork) stitches the wound in the gestational parent." 

"Okay," Weiss said.

Blake blinked. 

"And afterwards," Pa Schnee said, "The parents celebrate with sex." 

Weiss clutched her face. "Ewwwww~"  

Blake made a face. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was a collection of things I don't feel confident writing; trying to describe how to put on make up, sexy scenes, menstruation jokes (the idea there was to make fun of the general reluctance to talk about it, but I guess I'm sort of guilty of perpetuating that notion, too), and lovecraftian-homages. Hence, the delay. I apologize.
> 
>  


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